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Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (1 Viewer)

No, but they've hugged and held hands. They also drank from the water fountain at the same time... I can have him send the OP some tips to speed this up.
Your kid is a player and someone from whom I could definitely take some tips.  That said, the dual water fountain drinking thing seems reckless.  Have you talked to him about safe practices.  He could get girl germs.

 
:goodposting:  pretty much nailed it. You said it a bit more eloquently than I did. And thanks. 
Yeah. I'm backing up gianmarco here. Most of you wannabe studs in here don't realize this isn't a Tinder/nightclub hookup. Both parties are divorced, have kids, and 10,000 things on their mind. For ladies, their emotions filter through EVERYTHING they think about. Guys can compartmentalize - we put stuff in mental boxes and shuffle them about as we need to.

Marisa (I'm guessing) has been separated for sometime and finally has her own place/life set up. I would imagine she thought that she would move on in her post-divorce life as a single mom. She knows she's staring down some long odds at having a serious relationship as most men don't want that. Sure, I'm sure she could find a hookup if she wanted, but I'll bet you a dollar to a donut that's not what she wants. If a good, responsible man with a steady job and stable life shows up, she's going to be attracted to that. Now, lo and behold, not only does such a man exists, but right across the freaking street from her new home! She probably can't believe her circumstances.

However, she is going to be coy and want to be won. But, she also knows she needs to know if NRJ is truly interested or just sniffing around for fun. Today's coffee talk was both of them laying their cards on the table. Since NRJ didn't run down the street screaming, she feels like she can trust him with more. To have good relationships, you share, check that your future friend is capable of handling your baggage (not gossiping, making fun of, etc.), and then share more as you feel comfortable. Today's conversation shows that Marissa feels comfortable sharing more of her life story with NRJ, and his story doesn't scare her. Their respective divorces are a source of common ground for them and (maybe) help them deal with the debris of their own situation.

I would say that another time of sharing/talking is necessary before a fun date, but that's on NRJ. To me, he's played it pretty well. If I had to grade today, I say he went 3-4 with a walk and a stolen base.

 
So did both of you disparage your ex spouses? Or was it more like "things just didn't work out/wasn't meant to be"?
I wouldn't say is was willful disparaging, but some times the undisputed facts of the case, in and of themselves, when telling it like it is or was, can be seen as disparaging. So, it wasn't an ex-bashing, per se, and I made sure to let her know that that wasn't my intent. She was understanding, and in many ways, our situations seemed quite similar. 

 
I wouldn't say is was willful disparaging, but some times the undisputed facts of the case, in and of themselves, when telling it like it is or was, can be seen as disparaging. So, it wasn't an ex-bashing, per se, and I made sure to let her know that that wasn't my intent. She was understanding, and in many ways, our situations seemed quite similar. 
did you get a feel for whether she likes billionaire tech guys who live double lives as crime fighting vigilantes using a space aged super suit capable of making its wearer the equal of thor or what take that to the bank brohan 

 
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Yeah. I'm backing up gianmarco here. Most of you wannabe studs in here don't realize this isn't a Tinder/nightclub hookup. Both parties are divorced, have kids, and 10,000 things on their mind. For ladies, their emotions filter through EVERYTHING they think about. Guys can compartmentalize - we put stuff in mental boxes and shuffle them about as we need to.

Marisa (I'm guessing) has been separated for sometime and finally has her own place/life set up. I would imagine she thought that she would move on in her post-divorce life as a single mom. She knows she's staring down some long odds at having a serious relationship as most men don't want that. Sure, I'm sure she could find a hookup if she wanted, but I'll bet you a dollar to a donut that's not what she wants. If a good, responsible man with a steady job and stable life shows up, she's going to be attracted to that. Now, lo and behold, not only does such a man exists, but right across the freaking street from her new home! She probably can't believe her circumstances.

However, she is going to be coy and want to be won. But, she also knows she needs to know if NRJ is truly interested or just sniffing around for fun. Today's coffee talk was both of them laying their cards on the table. Since NRJ didn't run down the street screaming, she feels like she can trust him with more. To have good relationships, you share, check that your future friend is capable of handling your baggage (not gossiping, making fun of, etc.), and then share more as you feel comfortable. Today's conversation shows that Marissa feels comfortable sharing more of her life story with NRJ, and his story doesn't scare her. Their respective divorces are a source of common ground for them and (maybe) help them deal with the debris of their own situation.

I would say that another time of sharing/talking is necessary before a fun date, but that's on NRJ. To me, he's played it pretty well. If I had to grade today, I say he went 3-4 with a walk and a stolen base.
This is a great post. Agree with 90% of what's said here. I only disagree with the sentiment that another serious date would be the play here. Hell, if she pushes the convo into something serious while posted up with a beer at a watering hole, great... but give things a chance to breathe a bit. You might surprise each other. 

 
did you get a feel for whether she likes billionaire tech guys who live double lives as crime fighting vigilantes using a space aged super suit capable of making there wearer the equal of thor or what take that to the bank brohan 
currently erecting a tower to celebrate :coffee:   

 
This is a great post. Agree with 90% of what's said here. I only disagree with the sentiment that another serious date would be the play here. Hell, if she pushes the convo into something serious while posted up with a beer at a watering hole, great... but give things a chance to breathe a bit. You might surprise each other. 
Yeah, that's NRJ's call on that. He's been playing the Stratovarius here rather well, so either call wouldn't bother me.

 
did you get a feel for whether she likes billionaire tech guys who live double lives as crime fighting vigilantes using a space aged super suit capable of making there wearer the equal of thor or what take that to the bank brohan 
currently erecting a tower to celebrate :coffee:   
just watch out for the guy who looks like the dude from big lebowski he seems nice but he is up to no good take that to the bank 2 bromigo 

 
Fall is here.  Great time of the year to date a woman with small kids if you have to take the kids with.  There are pumpkin fests with face painting, corn mazes, hay rides, trick or treat streets, all sorts of things.

In closing I am currently in mind of Neal Young singing "give me a lift and I'll hay your wagon!"  probably popped into my head from the hay ride thing above.  At any rate, I do hope you get to hay her wagon, and more than once.

 
This is a great post. Agree with 90% of what's said here. I only disagree with the sentiment that another serious date would be the play here. Hell, if she pushes the convo into something serious while posted up with a beer at a watering hole, great... but give things a chance to breathe a bit. You might surprise each other. 
I do see and appreciate the logic in this option. Considering it for sure. I'm going to let the mood and correspondence between she and I dictate the next move. Still some playful flirting going on via text right now, so this ship hasn't run ashore just yet. Stay tuned. 

 
I do see and appreciate the logic in this option. Considering it for sure. I'm going to let the mood and correspondence between she and I dictate the next move. Still some playful flirting going on via text right now, so this ship hasn't run ashore just yet. Stay tuned. 
:thumbup: glll GB 

Just consider my "sometimes people need to be helped from themselves" angle. Your kid wants cookies every meal... but bad plan. She may LOVE the idea of getting to finally vent all this emotional stuff she's got built up.... and there's nothing wrong that, in moderation.

IMO you MIGHT earn points for taking things in a direction she doesn't realize she wants... "Holy #### I haven't had that much fun in years. I kinda forgot what it felt like. Thanks for reminding me" kinda evening... if that makes any sense. Not saying force anything... but maybe keep that in the back of your mind. :thumbup:   FYI: Not speaking sexually above.. just a night where she doesn't have to think about kids or divorce or work... but just gets to be an attractive woman out on a date with a guy she's kinda keen on. 

Jokes aside.... Nice work so far, though. 

 
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"Love Is A Rose"
 

Love is a rose
but you better not pick it
It only grows when it's on the vine.
A handful of thorns and
you'll know you've missed it
You lose your love
when you say the word "mine".

I wanna see what's never been seen,
I wanna live that age old dream.
Come on, lads, we can go together
Let's take the best right now,
Take the best right now.

I wanna go to an old hoe-down
Long ago in a western town.
Pick me up cause my feet are draggin'
Give me a lift and I'll hay your wagon.

Love is a rose
but you better not pick it
It only grows when it's on the vine.
A handful of thorns and
you'll know you've missed it
You lose your love
when you say the word "mine".
Mine, mine.

Love is a rose, love is a rose.
Love is a rose, love is a rose.
 
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northern exposure said:
3 likes out of 2,509 posts. Yeah that seems about right for you. Actually it is higher than I expected.
Its been 3-4 years since ive posted so didnt know if fbg had likes shown on profile then (shrugs).

 Basically instead of countering to my brash opinions some well known "witty" keyboard ninjas along with there menions decide to become the  grammer police or tell me I'm ######ed  etc.. which is fine. Its the internet. Guy is infatuated with a woman so i chose advise OP stop being shy or someone else will swoop in...

NOW .. from what i read this sounds like trouble. If youre trying to date this woman youre only going to make life more complicated.  She cannot date you, nor should u date her. Its a #### storm that could ruin any potential.  Problem is their are to many variables to predict so i would wait. Now that youve been that shoulder to cry on idk what to tell you bc it wont stop unless u pump the breaks. And honestly it doesnt sound like you can...  you seemed so blinded with her beauty or this idea of potential from the get go that you'll do whatever. Problem is whatever could land u in a place or situation u won't be able.to emotionally get out of. 

This is a slippery slope... could u sleep with her? Probably which isnt your style... or play friend role which could land u in that spot when she is ready to seriously date MONTHS - YEAR from now  after dust settles. Its a gamble that has bad odds brother... BUT youre the only one who knows her and seem intelligent.. But..heart has way making smart/sane men do stupid things...

But as said before id have started at drinks to avoid deep quiet chat like u had off bat but thats past. Though i did say it can be a ploy to get what you want but u want something more than vageen. All slow play now or like the jaw said give her the D. GL

 
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Btw, I wouldn't be surprised at all if, after you let her know your intentions and the next time your kids aren't around, she ravages you sexually in ways you never thought possible.  

If that happens, it'll be good for this thread as well as your penis.

ETA -- If she hasn't had the sechs in a long time, which is very possible, then I think there's a greater than even chance of that happening soon. Be prepared. And think of us when it happens.  Take notes if need be.

 
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By the way, NRJ, if you go the Gonzo route, Sac and I volunteer to dress up like Statler and Waldorf and lob insults down from the balcony during your performance.
"This guy woos women like old people ####."

"Yeah, slow and sloppy."

"And you should know."

 
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:thumbup: glll GB 

Just consider my "sometimes people need to be helped from themselves" angle. Your kid wants cookies every meal... but bad plan. She may LOVE the idea of getting to finally vent all this emotional stuff she's got built up.... and there's nothing wrong that, in moderation.

IMO you MIGHT earn points for taking things in a direction she doesn't realize she wants... "Holy #### I haven't had that much fun in years. I kinda forgot what it felt like. Thanks for reminding me" kinda evening... if that makes any sense. Not saying force anything... but maybe keep that in the back of your mind. :thumbup:   FYI: Not speaking sexually above.. just a night where she doesn't have to think about kids or divorce or work... but just gets to be an attractive woman out on a date with a guy she's kinda keen on. 

Jokes aside.... Nice work so far, though. 
I'm thinking something that would be conducive to a lot of laughing. Playing arcade games/putt putt/whatever. It has to be fun and have the ability to laugh at yourself/each other.

 
I'm thinking something that would be conducive to a lot of laughing. Playing arcade games/putt putt/whatever. It has to be fun and have the ability to laugh at yourself/each other.
Twister?

Do you like her as a person (you already admitted you're not into tattoos), or do you just want to have sex with her?
Unless you're Lt. Kaffee reincarnated, no way you're getting the answer to this one. 

 
I mentioned it about 45 pages back, but seriously, does the "friend zone" even really exist after 30?

How many of you have a relationship with a woman (or even know of such a relationship) where you met after 30, both are unattached, regularly spend alone time together (either just the two of you or with the kids) talking about personal ####, really enjoy that time, etc........and .....####### is off the table?

Maybe in an extremely odd work thing where the attractiveness levels are completely out of whack, I could imagine such a thing. Maybe.

Otherwise, a 30-60 year old male-female tandem of single people hanging out regularly laughing and talking is likely going to be ####### in short order.

Friend zone is for 16 year olds.

 
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To correct the record, I said I USED to be anti-tat. Dated an actual yoga/pilates instructor a couple years ago, who made me see the error of  my ways. 

 
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I'm thinking something that would be conducive to a lot of laughing. Playing arcade games/putt putt/whatever. It has to be fun and have the ability to laugh at yourself/each other.
Yoga pants and vodka shots and a lot of bending over to retrieve your ball.

 
I think a fun date would be next on the menu. And just cuz it's a fun date doesn't mean you two can't wind down with a serious conversation. 

 
Bowling, ftw. Kids can have their own lane. Drinking is easy. There's arcade games usually as well as darts or pool. You can attempt some nonchalant touching. And you can wear all the Saints stuff you want.

 
I mentioned it about 45 pages back, but seriously, does the "friend zone" even really exist after 30?

How many of you have a relationship with a woman (or even know of such a relationship) where you met after 30, both are unattached, regularly spend alone time together (either just the two of you or with the kids) talking about personal ####, really enjoy that time, etc........and .....####### is off the table?

Maybe in an extremely odd work thing where the attractiveness levels are completely out of whack, I could imagine such a thing. Maybe.

Otherwise, a 30-60 year old male-female tandem of single people hanging out regularly laughing and talking is likely going to be ####### in short order.

Friend zone is for 16 year olds.
If a woman is not sexually attracted to someone she's not going to have sex with them, regardless of age.  They aren't like men who can nail anything at anytime just because it's there.  Keep in mind that even though she's over 40 she's Marisa Beckinsale and has no problem getting laid.

 
I do see and appreciate the logic in this option. Considering it for sure. I'm going to let the mood and correspondence between she and I dictate the next move. Still some playful flirting going on via text right now, so this ship hasn't run ashore just yet. Stay tuned. 
the next move should be no less than dictating.

 
If a woman is not sexually attracted to someone she's not going to have sex with them, regardless of age.  They aren't like men who can nail anything at anytime just because it's there.  Keep in mind that even though she's over 40 she's Marisa Beckinsale and has no problem getting laid.
The point is that a single 40 year old woman is highly unlikely to spend 3 straight days with a single man in this manner and not be extremely likely to have some sexual attraction.

When you are 16, it's very possible. But at 40, very unlikely.

Put another way, how many of you would be fine with your wife hanging out with the single neighbor, alone (or with your kids and his) multiple times over a few days? At 16 you might be a little jealous of such a thing, but at 40, no chance in hell because 40 year olds rarely do this without there being a chance that somebody's gonna ####.

 
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"Marissa, I'd like to take you out to dinner.  I'd be happy to get a sitter for all the youts.  They can come over to my place and <insert something they'll all enjoy doing>."

It doesn't need to be complicated.

 
Bowling, ftw. Kids can have their own lane. Drinking is easy. There's arcade games usually as well as darts or pool. You can attempt some nonchalant touching. And you can wear all the Saints stuff you want.
One or more kid will spend 90% of the night in their lane... And drinking will have to be VERY light (if she will at all) with the little ones in tow. This is great for a "with kids" date, but they need an adults date. JMHO

 

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