"Work" buzzwords I HATE (1 Viewer)

[tandl71]

I just heard someone use "Lean Sigma Six", "Big Data", and "Cloud" in the same sentence, and I want to put my foot through his office window.

 

[zamboni]

I'll "circle back" with you.

 

[joffer]

lets just table this for now

 

[zamboni]

stop staring at my breasts

 

[Slapdash]

Sharpen our pencils on this

 

[Fat Nick]

Let's take this discussion off-line

 

[Slapdash]

End to end

Best in class

Reach out

Handshake

Grinding (insert direction here)

Work/life balance

 

[jerry jones]

"Laser focused", "core initiatives" and "cascade down"

 

[Slapdash]

Let's take this discussion off-line

I get more annoyed when ####ers don't take their discussions offline. People waste so much time talking past each other.

 

[Da Guru]

"dive deeper" "Win..Win"

 

[Fennis]

"sexual harassment" is against our policy.

 

[McGarnicle]

"You're clearly drunk."

"This isn't working out."

"Put the stapler down."

"Go ahead, taze him."

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

Out of net

Is it sexual harassment without penetration

 

[Jobber]

touchpoint
touch base
I'll ping you

 

[TheIronSheik]

Low hanging fruit

 

[Plorfu]

bandwith

 

[ICON211]

apples to apples

appetite - I don't know if marketing is going to have the appetite to take on additional expenses.

download - Did Jim give you the download on the financial planning meeting?

out of pocket

 

[belljr]

Cleveland steamer

 

[Osaurus]

End of day

 

[dozer]

Shared decision making with all stakeholders providing input.

 

[mr roboto]

Don't #### the client.

 

[randall146]

No one says any of these things at my work

 

[ChiefD]

Verticals

 

[dozer]

....and Ron....

Don't forget the tickle.

 

[Amused to Death]

End of day

For my office its "close of business" or worse, C.O.B. "We need this done by C.O.B."

Of course, C.O.B. really means "stay until its done". Last Thursday that was 3:00 am.

 

[eoMMan]

Whatever you say, sweettits.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

I forget who the guy was now but we had a customer that would say he needed some "tummy comfort"

 

[otello]

No one says any of these things at my work

How about clean up on aisle 7?

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Verticals

What is this?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Clean out your desk.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

What the #### are you doing?

 

[fantasycurse42]

"Finish Him!!"

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Bathroom breaks will be limited to 5 minutes.

 

[CletiusMaximus]

guy 1 - "I've got a hard stop at 3."

guy 2 - "That's sub-obtimal."

 

[Osaurus]

Paradigm

 

[NutterButter]

I use most of these words and I love em

 

[NutterButter]

End of day

For my office its "close of business" or worse, C.O.B. "We need this done by C.O.B."

Of course, C.O.B. really means "stay until its done". Last Thursday that was 3:00 am.

If that was the case, i'd just commit to EOD for the next day.

 

[pats3in4]

Security will walk you out.

 

[Arizona Ron]

"Let's discuss it offline"

 

[Cjw_55106]

I just heard someone use "Lean Sigma Six", "Big Data", and "Cloud" in the same sentence, and I want to put my foot through his office window.

But isn't Lean Six Sigma and actual thing? Not sure how you can not say that if that's what you are talking about.

 

[mquinnjr]

guy 1 - "I've got a hard stop at 3."

guy 2 - "That's sub-obtimal."

I loathe that one. "You stop being worthy of my time, at this time."

Go take a long walk off of a short pier, guy.

 

[Fat Nick]

End of day

For my office its "close of business" or worse, C.O.B. "We need this done by C.O.B."

Of course, C.O.B. really means "stay until its done". Last Thursday that was 3:00 am.

This. 1000x...This.

COB = We don't care if you had plans...we don't care if you're sick....we don't care if there's 3 other people who ALSO need something COB. Get this done before I log back on in the AM.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I use most of these words and I love em

Agreed. I hate this saying, too.

 

[McGarnicle]

"NEED THOSE CHEESE FRIES FOR TABLE 9, YOU ####### DIP####S!!!"

 

[sublimeone]

We don't use these words where I work because we aren't dooshbags... but I always get a chuckle overhearing this sort of nonsense from the shirt and tie crowd at lunch.

 

[pats3in4]

guy 1 - "I've got a hard stop at 3."

guy 2 - "That's sub-obtimal."

I loathe that one. "You stop being worthy of my time, at this time."

Go take a long walk off of a short pier, guy.

In my office, when people use "hard stop", it usually means they are obligated to be somewhere else. I don't think I've ever heard it used in the context of what you describe.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

End of day

For my office its "close of business" or worse, C.O.B. "We need this done by C.O.B."

Of course, C.O.B. really means "stay until its done". Last Thursday that was 3:00 am.

If that was the case, i'd just commit to EOD for the next day.

I'd start pronouncing things like C.O.B and E.O.D as acronyms.

"I need that by cob."

"By what?"

"Cob"

"Not sure I know what you mean."

"COB...close of business. Same as Eeodd."

 

[FlapJacks]

Warm and Fuzzy

 

[sdp1226]

Plain Vanilla

BAU

 

[Quez]

McGarnicle is 2 for 2 in this thread so far.