WWYD- somebody following you and your kid (1 Viewer)

[need2know]

Would have used what I learned in cobra kai

 

[Ministry of Pain]

Just my immediate thoughts reading your OP

"Is it all a big coincidence you keep sitting across from me or should we just have it out now here on the train because I'm not letting you follow me one more time out the door, you're going first this time because I have a kid with me and you are starting to make her nervous which makes you MY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW" I would have my phone out and 9-1-1 already dialed so he knows you are serious. 

You flip from Defense to Offense but I want to stress hw difficult that might be with a child. 

This person might have honestly said I meant no harm and moved away a couple seats especially when there are other cars open...I don't personally like it when I am in a restaurant or long bar at off hours and there's a million open seats and some turd-monster wants to sit within 6 feet of where I am and already been sitting for quite some time, it's very annoying. 

 

[arrow1]

I would call MoP

 

[El Floppo]

YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR CORONA VIRUS MASK ON!?!? SHAME!!!

I wouldn't have followed you though, quite the opposite.

That was actually a pretty good comeback by the creep.

Fwiw, we had masks on (as required by the MTA) on the bus and subways including anywhere in the station. No mask walking around outdoors, unless in a place with a crowd standing and talking.

The creep was maskless when we got on the bus- the only one without, and a first indicator of creepness on a bus full of mask wearers.

To me his repeated response was him avoiding the question of where he's going and why he's following us, and just being a creep. 

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

 make them the center of attention

If you're not going to bail to Uber/cab I think this is the right thing.  Make a scene draw a crowd and get some witnesses.

 

[El Floppo]

I think this is a where did you grow up kinda thing. Where I grew up you have to confront the dude at some point. It's a judgment call that comes with experience dealing with creeps in the city. You have to know which are just crazy and you want to ignore and not engage. 9/10 times your behavior dictates the reaction. Because this dude never engaged you he was not looney tunes but just off and not physically threatening. 

I think you handled it well. Engaging him in a busy area was wise. You can also enlist the help of another able bodied male if you see the opportunity. Most dudes will at least provide the appearance of backing you up and that could be enough. 

I have 2 daughters and have had similar experiences and If I sense we're working with a creep I will usually engage the person with my eyes. There is no confusion that I am focused on them. I will stare them down, never looking away. Even if he turns away I will continue to stare non stop. This will cause the person to either walk away or speak to you directly. 

Thanks. Yeah, I've lived here in NYC a long time- 30+ years since back in the wackadoo crack/homeless-instead-of-institutionalized years in the 80s. I've seen lots and lots of crazy #### go down, often times over minor nothings in the subways.

I tend to play things safer than aggressive as a result- especially with my kid(s) with me. That said, I was holding my Contigo metal water bottle like a club the second I noticed the dude sit across from us on the train and wasn't going to let him get the jump on us, even if I wasn't going to initiate the confrontation there. IMO, the subway is a closed off space with nowhere to go if things go south- not the spot I'm picking for any kind of confrontation.

 

[El Floppo]

Just my immediate thoughts reading your OP

"Is it all a big coincidence you keep sitting across from me or should we just have it out now here on the train because I'm not letting you follow me one more time out the door, you're going first this time because I have a kid with me and you are starting to make her nervous which makes you MY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW" I would have my phone out and 9-1-1 already dialed so he knows you are serious. 

You flip from Defense to Offense but I want to stress hw difficult that might be with a child. 

This person might have honestly said I meant no harm and moved away a couple seats especially when there are other cars open...I don't personally like it when I am in a restaurant or long bar at off hours and there's a million open seats and some turd-monster wants to sit within 6 feet of where I am and already been sitting for quite some time, it's very annoying. 

I like the idea of rational conversation and your recommendation. Tbh, I was in MOP mode when I realized what was going down, so that by the time I did confront him I was already at 11 and rational conversation wasn't going to happen. There are people out there who can be suave and calm with their blood boiling...unfortunately I'm not one of them.

 

[ChiefD]

I would call MoP

Could probably get a set of tires from the creep also.