Your baby is not invited (1 Viewer)

[mrip541]

A group of friends and I have rented a beach house every year for while now. The goal is to go and let it all out once a year. Noise, booze, irresponsible behavior, no sleep, whatever you can think of. What happens at the beach house stays at the beach house. Last year, one of the couples had recently had a baby and decided one of them would stay home with said baby, but this year the father has let it be known that due to a family member backing out of weekend babysitting duty, they plan to bring their 18-month old to the bacchanal. I fully expect to get some hate for this, but the baby is just not invited. The mother told me that they have a nice grandmotherly nanny who looks after very young children for a weekend or more on a regular basis, but the father refuses to even consider leaving his kid for 3 days. I feel like having a child has messed with this guy's brain chemistry and he'll take any suggestion of perhaps leaving his child for more than 5 minutes as completely absurd and offensive. How do you convince a new father that it's ok to leave his kid with a nanny overnight for the first time?

 

[Abraham]

You don't. If you value your friendship figure out how to make it work with the kid.

 

[msommer]

won't happen. You have to boot him

ETA: I thought the original post was abundant proof that the friendship is not valued sufficiently for actual adult behavior to occur

 

[Guest]

Is the wife hot? Tell the husband to stay home with the baby.

 

[Snickers]

Why can't the parent that went solo last year stay home with the kid this year?

 

[The Big Guy]

Sorry but once they had the kid it was time to either have one of your own or cut them loose.

 

[Freelove]

Friends are useless between the time their children are born and the time the kids go to college, anyway. I know we were, and it's certainly been true of every relationship we've maintained over the years.

The good news is that every couple you manage to keep on your radar will be totally down to orgy in their mid 40's once the kids are gone. It's worth the wait if any of your friends married well.

 

[joffer]

Sorry but once they had the kid it was time to either have one of your own or cut them loose.

 

[TwinTurbo]

Tell the dad that you must be at least this tall to enter the beach house. No strollers allowed. Sorry but he gets stuck on the kiddie rides instead of the roller coaster for the next few years unless he can man up and find a babysitter.

 

[DiStefano]

"He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune, for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief."

Francis Bacon

 

[Steve Tasker]

One of your group needs to man up and tell him that the baby is not invited. That said, if the weekend is as debaucherous as you say, he should know not to bring the kid.

 

[Courtjester]

First of all, your friend is stupid for even considering bringing the child. When you are a parent, there are certain things you need to pass on bottom line. Even though our kids were very well mannered, we didn't take them to movies or fancy restaurants until they were older just out of courtesy to other people. Heck, there were several times one of us would attend a wedding, while the other one stayed home with the kids. It just is the right thing to do.

if they don't want to get a nanny, then you need to have a talk with him. You need to make it very clear there will be no changing how the group will act just because of the baby. You plan on being vulgar. You plan on getting drunk and being loud and it is frankly no place for a baby. It may cause hurt feelings, but it is better that be upfront, then for something to occur during the party and an argument to ensue.

I can see if this was just a party that you guys hold every weekend. If that was the case, I can see a situation where a person could get in a jam and HAVE to bring a baby because of unforeseen circumstances. However, since this is a once a year thing, there is no excuse to bring a baby.

 

[Brony]

Hold on a second, maybe this 18 month old is really cute and isn't annoying. In this case, the kid would be a great addition to the party crew.

Thinks every first time parent

 

[fantasycurse42]

I have an 18 month old... Wouldn't think about bringing him for something like this. I'd also understand if my friends said no. Honestly, IDK why your friend would want to bring the kid, sounds like bad judgement IMO.

 

[Hastur]

One of your group needs to man up and tell him that the baby is not invited. That said, if the weekend is as debaucherous as you say, he should know not to bring the kid.

This is what I'm thinking. If this guy has been to this vacation before, he is out of his mind if bringing a toddler is anywhere near appropriate. With the debauchery that is going to take place, his parental instinct is going to try to keep people quiet or better behaved etc.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

You don't. If you value your friendship figure out how to make it work with the kid.

Has to be shtick.

 

[GroveDiesel]

First of all, your friend is stupid for even considering bringing the child. When you are a parent, there are certain things you need to pass on bottom line. Even though our kids were very well mannered, we didn't take them to movies or fancy restaurants until they were older just out of courtesy to other people. Heck, there were several times one of us would attend a wedding, while the other one stayed home with the kids. It just is the right thing to do.

if they don't want to get a nanny, then you need to have a talk with him. You need to make it very clear there will be no changing how the group will act just because of the baby. You plan on being vulgar. You plan on getting drunk and being loud and it is frankly no place for a baby. It may cause hurt feelings, but it is better that be upfront, then for something to occur during the party and an argument to ensue.

I can see if this was just a party that you guys hold every weekend. If that was the case, I can see a situation where a person could get in a jam and HAVE to bring a baby because of unforeseen circumstances. However, since this is a once a year thing, there is no excuse to bring a baby.

This seems like the best plan. Just talk to the guy and tell him you really don't think it's the best atmosphere for a baby and that since everybody goes down to bkoe off a steam that nobody is going to hold it back if they bring their kid.

At that point, don't sweat it. If they're idiots that being their kid then the consequences of that decision are on them. I see no reason for why you have to be upset if they bring their kid other than possible crying at 5am after a bender.

 

[RandyDB]

Don't tell him the baby is not invited. That might hurt his feelings.

Tell him that baby toting parents are not invited.

 

[bentley]

On one hand, dad needs to learn to cut the cord. On the other hand, an 18 month old doesn't know what's going on around him. As long as nobody is expecting you to change your behavior, the kid isn't going to notice.

 

[Snickers]

I would be willing to bet the husband went solo last year and doesn't want the wife there by herself this year. The kid is just a way to avoid his wife whoring around while he changes diapers.

 

[Nipsey]

Did he put down a deposit? Either way tell him it's not appropriate to bring the kid.

 

[Josie Maran]

Bigtime party foul on his part to even suggest this. What, everybody has to go to bed at ten o'clock because he can't part with the baby for a few days?

F### him. F### him right in the ear.

 

[cstu]

A group of friends and I have rented a beach house every year for while now. The goal is to go and let it all out once a year. Noise, booze, irresponsible behavior, no sleep, whatever you can think of. What happens at the beach house stays at the beach house. Last year, one of the couples had recently had a baby and decided one of them would stay home with said baby, but this year the father has let it be known that due to a family member backing out of weekend babysitting duty, they plan to bring their 18-month old to the bacchanal. I fully expect to get some hate for this, but the baby is just not invited. The mother told me that they have a nice grandmotherly nanny who looks after very young children for a weekend or more on a regular basis, but the father refuses to even consider leaving his kid for 3 days. I feel like having a child has messed with this guy's brain chemistry and he'll take any suggestion of perhaps leaving his child for more than 5 minutes as completely absurd and offensive. How do you convince a new father that it's ok to leave his kid with a nanny overnight for the first time?

More like how do you convince him to skip one weekend of 'debauchery' to take care of his kid.

Grow up, people.

 

[pollardsvision]

Who cares? I've got some great friends with kids I don't get to see enough.

Sometimes its either put up with a kid or don't see them.

Just don't bust out the 8 ball or start the orgy til he puts the kid to bed.

 

[eoMMan]

He's a ####. Tell him if he brings the baby, you're hiring hookers to come to the beach house. Does he really want his baby around hookers?

 

[bentley]

Bigtime party foul on his part to even suggest this. What, everybody has to go to bed at ten o'clock because he can't part with the baby for a few days?

F### him. F### him right in the ear.

That would be totally out of line but I have gotten ####hammered at th beach with my bil and sil while my 18 month old slept. The real problem is in the morning when the kid wakes up and 7 and I had to pull hungover on 2 hours of sleep daddy duty. Was still worth it.

 

[Joe Summer]

De-friend him.

 

[Thunderlips]

How debacuherous are we talking? If it's just drinking and carrying on(as long as the "family" has their own room"....the onus of making the baby happy is on the family and really it should be no big deal. We've had plenty of booze blow outs with the kids around If it's heavy drug use, orgies,...stuff like that.....he's a dope for wanting to bring the kid.

 

[Josie Maran]

Bigtime party foul on his part to even suggest this. What, everybody has to go to bed at ten o'clock because he can't part with the baby for a few days?

F### him. F### him right in the ear.

That would be totally out of line but I have gotten ####hammered at th beach with my bil and sil while my 18 month old slept. The real problem is in the morning when the kid wakes up and 7 and I had to pull hungover on 2 hours of sleep daddy duty. Was still worth it.

Well, the OP made it pretty clear this isn't a family-friendly trip.

 

[butcher boy]

He made his bed by having a kid. Let him sleep in it. Very arrogant of him to assume he can bring the kid.

 

[Sarnoff]

Is an 18-month-old old enough to mix drinks? Ask the dad if it's tiny little fingers make it easier to roll joints.

 

[Sarnoff]

Sorry but once they had the kid it was time to either have one of your own or cut them loose.

I rarely talk to my friends after they get married.

I almost never talk to any who've had kids.

 

[Christo]

You don't. If you value your friendship figure out how to make it work with the kid.

The other guy obviously doesn't value the relationship.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Hold on a second, maybe this 18 month old is really cute and isn't annoying. In this case, the kid would be a great addition to the party crew.

Thinks every first time parent

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[Officer Pete Malloy]

LINK

 

[Jeff Vader]

One of your group needs to man up and tell him that the baby is not invited. That said, if the weekend is as debaucherous as you say, he should know not to bring the kid.

Speaking as a dad and former libertine (sort of), I agree with this 100%. The guy is ignorant and rude if he's insisting on bringing an 18 month baby.

 

[Sinrman]

Since you've done this before, I don't understand why that couple doesn't realize what occurs, and why they would even consider bringing their kid...? And as others have said, one stayed with the kid last year, sooooo why doesn't the other stay this year? Orrrrr is it "the mommy stayed home last year, and it means the daddy would have to stay this year, and he either doesn't trust them around just his wife, or he's selfish and only the mommy has to miss out?"

 

[bentley]

Bigtime party foul on his part to even suggest this. What, everybody has to go to bed at ten o'clock because he can't part with the baby for a few days?

F### him. F### him right in the ear.

That would be totally out of line but I have gotten ####hammered at th beach with my bil and sil while my 18 month old slept. The real problem is in the morning when the kid wakes up and 7 and I had to pull hungover on 2 hours of sleep daddy duty. Was still worth it.

Well, the OP made it pretty clear this isn't a family-friendly trip.

Except that it doesn't appear that the OP has actually said that to the dad. Or maybe I'm reading the original post wrong.

 

[Herb]

I have a 2 and a half year old. I miss out on a lot of stuff that I used to do because it's not kid-friendly. That's what I signed up for when we decided to have a kid. This guy is a clueless ##### with ulterior motives of some sort. If he can't figure out not to bring his kid, then just un-invite him.

 

[sbonomo]

No chance the kid should come along.....just let him know that this is prib the wring environment for a kid. If he does not understand recind invite for following year.

 

[Quez]

Exactly how crazy of a party are we talking? Coke, strippers, weed?

 

[timschochet]

Sorry but once they had the kid it was time to either have one of your own or cut them loose.

I rarely talk to my friends after they get married.

I almost never talk to any who've had kids.

This explains a lot.

 

[timschochet]

Frankly I'm surprised the guy still wants to go. My experience is that most parents of young children lose interest in parties like that. I know I did.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Frankly I'm surprised the guy still wants to go. My experience is that most parents of young children lose interest in parties like that. I know I did.

Yeah well you're a weirdo.

 

[Quez]

Frankly I'm surprised the guy still wants to go. My experience is that most parents of young children lose interest in parties like that. I know I did.

Odds are they are the kind of parents who pawn their baby off on people at parties/gatherings all the time. They find some sucker who thinks the baby is cute and then disappear.

 

[trogg78]

If it doesn't go well then boot the kid. Never mind. The parents sound so self absorbed the kid is probably already a rotten brat.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Frankly I'm surprised the guy still wants to go. My experience is that most parents of young children lose interest in parties like that. I know I did.

I'd give a testicle for one booze fueled,

Powder riddled, Viagra throwdown... In fact, verbatim the kind of pron I search for.

 

[pollardsvision]

Exactly how crazy of a party are we talking? Coke, strippers, weed?

We really need to know this.

A bunch of old farts sitting around drinking Bud Light and playing Cards Against Humanity isn't a big deal.

 

[Apple Jack]

Yep. One man's crazy, debaucherous weekend is another's relatively quiet weekend. Need to see the manifest. Still, one or both of those parents are likely being inconsiderate and selfish somewhere in there.

 

[Hastur]

One of the following scenarios is taking place:

1.) The father of the toddler is not adjusting to being a parent, and wants to hold on to the way life was before the baby.

2.) The father of the toddler is an irrational jerk.

3.) The father of the toddler 'mis-remembers' what this annual party is like, and thinks his baby will 'be fine'.

4.) The father of the toddler does not want his wife at a party with Steve in the outhouse.

5.) The OP 'mis-remembers' what this annual party is like, and it is more like a bible study than it is a coke fueled booze fest.