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BGP said:
Typical guppy.
Waaah, waaah, you cry, this game is too hard!
Sorry son, but I don't have to dumb down The Sport just so noobs like you have a chance at keeping up.
I play in a $4,000 entry, Super-WCOFF, triple-reverse, double down, mirror league with a modified PPFDR base 8 scoring system, and we just held our draft in July. For the 2013 season. You think Matt Barkley getting the start in USC is news? I drafted him after studying up on him, after he signed his letter of intent, last year. You think that maybe going with a WR in the first two rounds instead of back-to-back RBs is somehow new thinking in fantasy? Well, do you have the balls to do what I did this year when I didn't take my first RB until the fourth round (Roderick Smith, Harding High School of Indiana)? You've probably never even heard of Martavis Bryant, Kyle Prater, or Darius White, yet not only did I draft them this year to form my future WR core, I've also started referring to them by fantasy board nicknames (Super Mart, KPrater, & DoubleDarius). Hell, guys like you are going to be the poor schmucks who are searching this board five years from now for info on some great RB you just heard of out of the middle of nowhere in Alaska, and the FBG search result box is going to come up with this very post, where I brag about nabbing Isaiah Weeks of the Monroe Catholic Rams at the 25.32/26.01 turn a full two months before he lit up Delta Junction for 193 yards/2 TDs or Ketchikan for 183 rushing yards, 55 rec yards, & 2 TDs. You'll be wondering about his durability and I'll remember a phone call I made back when you were just hearing the name "Knowshon Moreno" for the first time to the kid's doctor in Fairbanks about the sprain he suffered in his left ankle in 2008.
Let me give you a tip, IT = INFO, and there's no "expires by" date on it.
PHILO
shining path said:
This is awesome. It needs to be posted here:
You have called me stupid 4x now, & while I have ignored it until now, I will finally address this and give you a cruel dose of reality.liar. I love when the Sharts double down on the stupid.
Although I do sometimes wonder, you know, how we survived as a species with people like you in the gene pool.
At the age of 30, I have achieved more then you will in 10 lifetimes - I handle partnerships for a publicly traded company worth billions. My decisions impact investors worldwide, who do your decisions impact? My decisions have helped investors almost triple their investments in the last 13 months, again what have yours done? My little boy is 10 months old and has more in his bank account then you will in your lifetime, how does that make you feel? Statistics show that in 2012 almost 1 out of 3 people between the ages of 18 - 35 live with their parents - I would blindly wager a few G's that you fall in that bucket.
Numerous leadership seminars I have attended are useful in identifying character traits - One that is blatantly present with you is your unnecessary and repetitive name calling/insulting of another for minimal reasons... This type of behavior is endlessly classified in the professional world as a loser who will most likely deflect blame. Basically you're a type A loser, congrats! On the other hand, I am the definition of the American Dream, coming from nothing to having everything...
To answer your question on how we have survived as a species is simple, it is called survival of the fittest, & while there are several schools of thought on this one, I like Darwin's the best, go read up on it - So while my bloodlines will continue to prosper for generations, yours will continue to dig ditches, paint houses, & clean up my garbage.
I think I’ve told one or two of my roid war stories in here before before, but it’s relevant:
After a long day of boozing at a golf tournament a few years ago I was at a bar late night. I went up to the bar and fetched four bottles of beer and was walking back to my buddies when I hit a patch of wet floor, I was wearing tread-less flip flops at the time, and my feet flew up over my head. I came down hard and ended up with deep gashes in each of my hands. A buddy grabbed me, hailed a cab outside, and we were on the way to the Mass General ER. When I got there they saw how loaded I was. They gauzed my wounds, stuck me in a room on a bed and told me to get some rest. I passed out for a couple of hours. The next thing I remember was hearing this conversation in the hallway:
Nurse 1: “Busy night in here tonight, let me give you the rundown. In Room One we have a broken collarbone, Room Two is a broken nose and head laceration, possible concussion, Room three alcohol poisoning, Room Four we got a stab wound in the upper thigh, Room Five looks like a suicide attempt and possible rape victim….”
Nurse 2: “Boston PD been called? We got counseling coming in?”
Nurse 1: “Yeah, they’re on the way. Room Six we need x-rays on the left wrist…”
She went on and on. The nurses were changing shifts and giving a run down on the night’s activity. "Lots of crazy #### going on, looks like I won't be a priority", I thought to myself at the time. I rolled over, closed my eyes and nodded off again.
Sometime later there was a knock and I turned to see three people walk in, a policeman among them, along with a female doctor and a lady in civilian clothes.
Doc: “How are you feeling?”
Me: “A little groggy, not too bad though.”
Doc: “Can you tell us what happened?”
Me: “Yeah. I had a few cocktails, slipped on the floor at the bar and cut my hands on broken glass.”
Lady: “Um..yeah. It’s okay sir, you can tell us what happened. We deal with this type of stuff”
Me:“What stuff? I just told you what happened - there’s really nothing else to say.”
Cop: “Who did this to you?”
Me: “Nobody. WTF?”
Lady: “Why is your rectum bleeding?”
Me: reaches around to feel seat of khaki shorts, very moist, checks hand and it is crimson red. “Oh ####”
Cop: “Why did you cut yourself? Who raped you?”
Me:“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…you guys have it wrong here. My ### had been killing me all day while golfing, I’ve got awful roids, sometimes they explode like this, I wasn’t raped, what the hell….”
Lady: “This is all very hard to believe. We'd like to do a rape kit.”
Me: “I swear…Christ…Doc….please look at my ###…should be pretty clear....there will be no rape kit!”
The other two left and the doctor check my ### and confirmed that roids were the culprit. She talked to the other two out in the hall, then they all came back in. They still weren’t totally sold on my story so I had to do some more convincing, like “why the hell would I slash the base of my thumb and the palm of my hand and not my wrists? I’m not a ####### idiot!” The cop and the therapist gave me their cards, told me to call them if I thought of anything else, and left. I got stitched up, asked for and received some hospital pants to wear out of there in place of my bloody khakis, and took a cab home as the sun was coming up.
This post made me lol more than any other post Ive ever read here.
I think I’ve told one or two of my roid war stories in here before before, but it’s relevant:
After a long day of boozing at a golf tournament a few years ago I was at a bar late night. I went up to the bar and fetched four bottles of beer and was walking back to my buddies when I hit a patch of wet floor, I was wearing tread-less flip flops at the time, and my feet flew up over my head. I came down hard and ended up with deep gashes in each of my hands. A buddy grabbed me, hailed a cab outside, and we were on the way to the Mass General ER. When I got there they saw how loaded I was. They gauzed my wounds, stuck me in a room on a bed and told me to get some rest. I passed out for a couple of hours. The next thing I remember was hearing this conversation in the hallway:
Nurse 1: “Busy night in here tonight, let me give you the rundown. In Room One we have a broken collarbone, Room Two is a broken nose and head laceration, possible concussion, Room three alcohol poisoning, Room Four we got a stab wound in the upper thigh, Room Five looks like a suicide attempt and possible rape victim….”
Nurse 2: “Boston PD been called? We got counseling coming in?”
Nurse 1: “Yeah, they’re on the way. Room Six we need x-rays on the left wrist…”
She went on and on. The nurses were changing shifts and giving a run down on the night’s activity. "Lots of crazy #### going on, looks like I won't be a priority", I thought to myself at the time. I rolled over, closed my eyes and nodded off again.
Sometime later there was a knock and I turned to see three people walk in, a policeman among them, along with a female doctor and a lady in civilian clothes.
Doc: “How are you feeling?”
Me: “A little groggy, not too bad though.”
Doc: “Can you tell us what happened?”
Me: “Yeah. I had a few cocktails, slipped on the floor at the bar and cut my hands on broken glass.”
Lady: “Um..yeah. It’s okay sir, you can tell us what happened. We deal with this type of stuff”
Me:
Cop: “Who did this to you?”
Me: “Nobody. WTF?”
Lady: “Why is your rectum bleeding?”
Me: reaches around to feel seat of khaki shorts, very moist, checks hand and it is crimson red. “Oh ####”
Cop: “Why did you cut yourself? Who raped you?”
Me:
Lady: “This is all very hard to believe. We'd like to do a rape kit.”
Me: “I swear…Christ…Doc….please look at my ###…should be pretty clear....there will be no rape kit!”
The other two left and the doctor check my ### and confirmed that roids were the culprit. She talked to the other two out in the hall, then they all came back in. They still weren’t totally sold on my story so I had to do some more convincing, like “why the hell would I slash the base of my thumb and the palm of my hand and not my wrists? I’m not a ####### idiot!” The cop and the therapist gave me their cards, told me to call them if I thought of anything else, and left. I got stitched up, asked for and received some hospital pants to wear out of there in place of my bloody khakis, and took a cab home as the sun was coming up.
I don't think I've ever read that. Awesome.
Me either.This post made me lol more than any other post Ive ever read here.
I think I’ve told one or two of my roid war stories in here before before, but it’s relevant:
After a long day of boozing at a golf tournament a few years ago I was at a bar late night. I went up to the bar and fetched four bottles of beer and was walking back to my buddies when I hit a patch of wet floor, I was wearing tread-less flip flops at the time, and my feet flew up over my head. I came down hard and ended up with deep gashes in each of my hands. A buddy grabbed me, hailed a cab outside, and we were on the way to the Mass General ER. When I got there they saw how loaded I was. They gauzed my wounds, stuck me in a room on a bed and told me to get some rest. I passed out for a couple of hours. The next thing I remember was hearing this conversation in the hallway:
Nurse 1: “Busy night in here tonight, let me give you the rundown. In Room One we have a broken collarbone, Room Two is a broken nose and head laceration, possible concussion, Room three alcohol poisoning, Room Four we got a stab wound in the upper thigh, Room Five looks like a suicide attempt and possible rape victim….”
Nurse 2: “Boston PD been called? We got counseling coming in?”
Nurse 1: “Yeah, they’re on the way. Room Six we need x-rays on the left wrist…”
She went on and on. The nurses were changing shifts and giving a run down on the night’s activity. "Lots of crazy #### going on, looks like I won't be a priority", I thought to myself at the time. I rolled over, closed my eyes and nodded off again.
Sometime later there was a knock and I turned to see three people walk in, a policeman among them, along with a female doctor and a lady in civilian clothes.
Doc: “How are you feeling?”
Me: “A little groggy, not too bad though.”
Doc: “Can you tell us what happened?”
Me: “Yeah. I had a few cocktails, slipped on the floor at the bar and cut my hands on broken glass.”
Lady: “Um..yeah. It’s okay sir, you can tell us what happened. We deal with this type of stuff”
Me:
Cop: “Who did this to you?”
Me: “Nobody. WTF?”
Lady: “Why is your rectum bleeding?”
Me: reaches around to feel seat of khaki shorts, very moist, checks hand and it is crimson red. “Oh ####”
Cop: “Why did you cut yourself? Who raped you?”
Me:
Lady: “This is all very hard to believe. We'd like to do a rape kit.”
Me: “I swear…Christ…Doc….please look at my ###…should be pretty clear....there will be no rape kit!”
The other two left and the doctor check my ### and confirmed that roids were the culprit. She talked to the other two out in the hall, then they all came back in. They still weren’t totally sold on my story so I had to do some more convincing, like “why the hell would I slash the base of my thumb and the palm of my hand and not my wrists? I’m not a ####### idiot!” The cop and the therapist gave me their cards, told me to call them if I thought of anything else, and left. I got stitched up, asked for and received some hospital pants to wear out of there in place of my bloody khakis, and took a cab home as the sun was coming up.
HFS, I am sitting here in front of a class of 8th graders asking me why Im laughing so hard.
That's the one I thought of as wellhttp://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=484003&page=1entry10720891
Typical guppy.
Waaah, waaah, you cry, this game is too hard!
Sorry son, but I don't have to dumb down The Sport just so noobs like you have a chance at keeping up.
I play in a $4,000 entry, Super-WCOFF, triple-reverse, double down, mirror league with a modified PPFDR base 8 scoring system, and we just held our draft in July. For the 2013 season. You think Matt Barkley getting the start in USC is news? I drafted him after studying up on him, after he signed his letter of intent, last year. You think that maybe going with a WR in the first two rounds instead of back-to-back RBs is somehow new thinking in fantasy? Well, do you have the balls to do what I did this year when I didn't take my first RB until the fourth round (Roderick Smith, Harding High School of Indiana)? You've probably never even heard of Martavis Bryant, Kyle Prater, or Darius White, yet not only did I draft them this year to form my future WR core, I've also started referring to them by fantasy board nicknames (Super Mart, KPrater, & DoubleDarius). Hell, guys like you are going to be the poor schmucks who are searching this board five years from now for info on some great RB you just heard of out of the middle of nowhere in Alaska, and the FBG search result box is going to come up with this very post, where I brag about nabbing Isaiah Weeks of the Monroe Catholic Rams at the 25.32/26.01 turn a full two months before he lit up Delta Junction for 193 yards/2 TDs or Ketchikan for 183 rushing yards, 55 rec yards, & 2 TDs. You'll be wondering about his durability and I'll remember a phone call I made back when you were just hearing the name "Knowshon Moreno" for the first time to the kid's doctor in Fairbanks about the sprain he suffered in his left ankle in 2008.
Let me give you a tip, IT = INFO, and there's no "expires by" date on it.
PHILO
Kenneth Cosgrove said:
Yeah, this one is epic.This post made me lol more than any other post Ive ever read here.
I think I’ve told one or two of my roid war stories in here before before, but it’s relevant:
After a long day of boozing at a golf tournament a few years ago I was at a bar late night. I went up to the bar and fetched four bottles of beer and was walking back to my buddies when I hit a patch of wet floor, I was wearing tread-less flip flops at the time, and my feet flew up over my head. I came down hard and ended up with deep gashes in each of my hands. A buddy grabbed me, hailed a cab outside, and we were on the way to the Mass General ER. When I got there they saw how loaded I was. They gauzed my wounds, stuck me in a room on a bed and told me to get some rest. I passed out for a couple of hours. The next thing I remember was hearing this conversation in the hallway:
Nurse 1: “Busy night in here tonight, let me give you the rundown. In Room One we have a broken collarbone, Room Two is a broken nose and head laceration, possible concussion, Room three alcohol poisoning, Room Four we got a stab wound in the upper thigh, Room Five looks like a suicide attempt and possible rape victim….”
Nurse 2: “Boston PD been called? We got counseling coming in?”
Nurse 1: “Yeah, they’re on the way. Room Six we need x-rays on the left wrist…”
She went on and on. The nurses were changing shifts and giving a run down on the night’s activity. "Lots of crazy #### going on, looks like I won't be a priority", I thought to myself at the time. I rolled over, closed my eyes and nodded off again.
Sometime later there was a knock and I turned to see three people walk in, a policeman among them, along with a female doctor and a lady in civilian clothes.
Doc: “How are you feeling?”
Me: “A little groggy, not too bad though.”
Doc: “Can you tell us what happened?”
Me: “Yeah. I had a few cocktails, slipped on the floor at the bar and cut my hands on broken glass.”
Lady: “Um..yeah. It’s okay sir, you can tell us what happened. We deal with this type of stuff”
Me:
Cop: “Who did this to you?”
Me: “Nobody. WTF?”
Lady: “Why is your rectum bleeding?”
Me: reaches around to feel seat of khaki shorts, very moist, checks hand and it is crimson red. “Oh ####”
Cop: “Why did you cut yourself? Who raped you?”
Me:
Lady: “This is all very hard to believe. We'd like to do a rape kit.”
Me: “I swear…Christ…Doc….please look at my ###…should be pretty clear....there will be no rape kit!”
The other two left and the doctor check my ### and confirmed that roids were the culprit. She talked to the other two out in the hall, then they all came back in. They still weren’t totally sold on my story so I had to do some more convincing, like “why the hell would I slash the base of my thumb and the palm of my hand and not my wrists? I’m not a ####### idiot!” The cop and the therapist gave me their cards, told me to call them if I thought of anything else, and left. I got stitched up, asked for and received some hospital pants to wear out of there in place of my bloody khakis, and took a cab home as the sun was coming up.
What's your favorite way to eat scallops?Hey MoP,I appreciate the comments.I do come up with some weird thread topics and some of you call that shtick, but it's honestly just me being me. I'm the same guy in person - but maybe not to the extreme extent. I try to be the same person on here as I am in reality. What you see, is what you get. That's me.
This post made me lol more than any other post Ive ever read here.
I think I’ve told one or two of my roid war stories in here before before, but it’s relevant:
After a long day of boozing at a golf tournament a few years ago I was at a bar late night. I went up to the bar and fetched four bottles of beer and was walking back to my buddies when I hit a patch of wet floor, I was wearing tread-less flip flops at the time, and my feet flew up over my head. I came down hard and ended up with deep gashes in each of my hands. A buddy grabbed me, hailed a cab outside, and we were on the way to the Mass General ER. When I got there they saw how loaded I was. They gauzed my wounds, stuck me in a room on a bed and told me to get some rest. I passed out for a couple of hours. The next thing I remember was hearing this conversation in the hallway:
Nurse 1: “Busy night in here tonight, let me give you the rundown. In Room One we have a broken collarbone, Room Two is a broken nose and head laceration, possible concussion, Room three alcohol poisoning, Room Four we got a stab wound in the upper thigh, Room Five looks like a suicide attempt and possible rape victim….”
Nurse 2: “Boston PD been called? We got counseling coming in?”
Nurse 1: “Yeah, they’re on the way. Room Six we need x-rays on the left wrist…”
She went on and on. The nurses were changing shifts and giving a run down on the night’s activity. "Lots of crazy #### going on, looks like I won't be a priority", I thought to myself at the time. I rolled over, closed my eyes and nodded off again.
Sometime later there was a knock and I turned to see three people walk in, a policeman among them, along with a female doctor and a lady in civilian clothes.
Doc: “How are you feeling?”
Me: “A little groggy, not too bad though.”
Doc: “Can you tell us what happened?”
Me: “Yeah. I had a few cocktails, slipped on the floor at the bar and cut my hands on broken glass.”
Lady: “Um..yeah. It’s okay sir, you can tell us what happened. We deal with this type of stuff”
Me:
Cop: “Who did this to you?”
Me: “Nobody. WTF?”
Lady: “Why is your rectum bleeding?”
Me: reaches around to feel seat of khaki shorts, very moist, checks hand and it is crimson red. “Oh ####”
Cop: “Why did you cut yourself? Who raped you?”
Me:
Lady: “This is all very hard to believe. We'd like to do a rape kit.”
Me: “I swear…Christ…Doc….please look at my ###…should be pretty clear....there will be no rape kit!”
The other two left and the doctor check my ### and confirmed that roids were the culprit. She talked to the other two out in the hall, then they all came back in. They still weren’t totally sold on my story so I had to do some more convincing, like “why the hell would I slash the base of my thumb and the palm of my hand and not my wrists? I’m not a ####### idiot!” The cop and the therapist gave me their cards, told me to call them if I thought of anything else, and left. I got stitched up, asked for and received some hospital pants to wear out of there in place of my bloody khakis, and took a cab home as the sun was coming up.
Magnificent B Productions. Was that even on this board or Ole Yeller? Gotta be at least 10 years old.
First time I saw that post was pre-old yeller. Probably saw it in 1999/2000 on the old ####ed Company board.
It was on Ole Yeller, but I understand it was first posted on the old usenet forum.
This post made me lol more than any other post Ive ever read here.
I think I’ve told one or two of my roid war stories in here before before, but it’s relevant:
After a long day of boozing at a golf tournament a few years ago I was at a bar late night. I went up to the bar and fetched four bottles of beer and was walking back to my buddies when I hit a patch of wet floor, I was wearing tread-less flip flops at the time, and my feet flew up over my head. I came down hard and ended up with deep gashes in each of my hands. A buddy grabbed me, hailed a cab outside, and we were on the way to the Mass General ER. When I got there they saw how loaded I was. They gauzed my wounds, stuck me in a room on a bed and told me to get some rest. I passed out for a couple of hours. The next thing I remember was hearing this conversation in the hallway:
Nurse 1: “Busy night in here tonight, let me give you the rundown. In Room One we have a broken collarbone, Room Two is a broken nose and head laceration, possible concussion, Room three alcohol poisoning, Room Four we got a stab wound in the upper thigh, Room Five looks like a suicide attempt and possible rape victim….”
Nurse 2: “Boston PD been called? We got counseling coming in?”
Nurse 1: “Yeah, they’re on the way. Room Six we need x-rays on the left wrist…”
She went on and on. The nurses were changing shifts and giving a run down on the night’s activity. "Lots of crazy #### going on, looks like I won't be a priority", I thought to myself at the time. I rolled over, closed my eyes and nodded off again.
Sometime later there was a knock and I turned to see three people walk in, a policeman among them, along with a female doctor and a lady in civilian clothes.
Doc: “How are you feeling?”
Me: “A little groggy, not too bad though.”
Doc: “Can you tell us what happened?”
Me: “Yeah. I had a few cocktails, slipped on the floor at the bar and cut my hands on broken glass.”
Lady: “Um..yeah. It’s okay sir, you can tell us what happened. We deal with this type of stuff”
Me:
Cop: “Who did this to you?”
Me: “Nobody. WTF?”
Lady: “Why is your rectum bleeding?”
Me: reaches around to feel seat of khaki shorts, very moist, checks hand and it is crimson red. “Oh ####”
Cop: “Why did you cut yourself? Who raped you?”
Me:
Lady: “This is all very hard to believe. We'd like to do a rape kit.”
Me: “I swear…Christ…Doc….please look at my ###…should be pretty clear....there will be no rape kit!”
The other two left and the doctor check my ### and confirmed that roids were the culprit. She talked to the other two out in the hall, then they all came back in. They still weren’t totally sold on my story so I had to do some more convincing, like “why the hell would I slash the base of my thumb and the palm of my hand and not my wrists? I’m not a ####### idiot!” The cop and the therapist gave me their cards, told me to call them if I thought of anything else, and left. I got stitched up, asked for and received some hospital pants to wear out of there in place of my bloody khakis, and took a cab home as the sun was coming up.
:Wub:
