Your Funniest Fantasy Football Story (1 Viewer)

[Revo]

I decided to post this thread after I had this awesome exchange a few minutes ago:

I have the #3 pick in my longtime $$ re-draft league, and recently offered it up to move down in Rd 1. A guy who's new to the league (but he's been in our fantasy baseball league for years) and picks 9th sends me a PM saying "I'm interested in swapping spots."

Although I had a feeling and expressed it to another buddy in the league, I IM the guy asking what offer he had in mind.

His reply:

"Aren't we just going to switch draft positions?"

And now my funniest FF story, bar none:

In 1998 or so, this same league had a different cast of characters, but they had been in the league a couple of years. I was commish. Anyway I started to get fed up with this one guy who was a major donation, and finally sent him an e-mail saying "are you ever going to try and improve your team? How about making some trades?" He responds that he changes his lineup, but OK, he'll look to make some deals.

A couple of days later I get another e-mail from him, saying in a cryptic way that he completed two deals. I thought both were landslides in his favor and scratched my head, called the other two owners for their say, but was unable to get ahold of either of them. I put through the deals.

Later, one of the owners (a good buddy) calls me with terror in his voice screaming, "What the hell happened to Jimmy Smith on my team?" I said, "you traded him." He says "WHAAAATT? I didn't trade Jimmy Smith!!!!" I said "You didn't trade Jimmy Smith for Wesley Walls?" He says: "Not in a million years would I do that trade!!!"

I told him I got an e-mail from Larry (the donation) saying he made this trade with you. He says, "I haven't spoken to that moron since draft day!!"

I then call Larry back and ask what the hell is going on. He says "I made trades like we talked about." I said "did you just make up the trades in your own head? Or did you call and negotiate with the owners?"

*silence*

"Oh, you have to ask them to make a deal?"

Needless to say, that was Larry's last year in the league.

 

[5thQuarter]

I am the commish of our league and one of the things I do yearly is mail out actual rulebooks to each team owner. These are very classy rulebooks. The are printed in color and bound in booklet form. They make a very nice touch. Each year when I mail the rulebooks out I address the 8 1/2" by 11" evelopes from the League Commish to the General manager of each team. One guy in our league is married to a very christian lady who demands church on multiple days of the week. The envelope containing his rule book was made out to:

Stephen Smith

General Manager

Longview Lesbians

I dropped it in the mail any thought nothing of it. However, his wife happened to check the mail the day it arrived. When Stephen walked in from work his wife had a miserable look on her face. He asked her what was wrong and her response was to slam down the rule book and exclaim, "Longview Lesbians!!, Huh!!,and she turned around and walked out of the room.

The next day Stephen called me and told me that he wanted to change the name of his team. When I asked why, he told me of the little mishap the day before. He begged me not to tell anyone about it. So I did as all good commisioners would, I leaked the story on the league message board the very next day.

Five years later, Stephen is still trying to live the fact down that his wife is really the General Manager of his fantasy football team. Everytime he drafts a player, makes a trade, or picks a player off the waiver wire other owners asks if his wife has approved the move.

 

[Raider Nation]

Three years ago, a guy in our league has the 1.04 pick.

He selects Quentin ####### Griffin, who entered camp as the Broncos starting RB.

Griffin's final stats on the year: 85 rushes, 311 yards, 2 TDs (both of which were in week 1, IIRC)

 

[chook]

I then call Larry back and ask what the hell is going on. He says "I made trades like we talked about." I said "did you just make up the trades in your own head? Or did you call and negotiate with the owners?"

*silence*

"Oh, you have to ask them to make a deal?"

That's gold. Are people really that dumb?

 

[On The Rocks]

This thread has potential!



We had a guy a number of years ago in a 10 team redraft take Keith Byers 1.04.

And the way he announced his pick...was priceless. He was so pumped and so proud.

I never heard a room so silent in my life followed by so much laughter.

Last year we had a guy select a player he had already selected 4 rounds earlier.

 

[poopdawg]

I decided to post this thread after I had this awesome exchange a few minutes ago:

I have the #3 pick in my longtime $$ re-draft league, and recently offered it up to move down in Rd 1. A guy who's new to the league (but he's been in our fantasy baseball league for years) and picks 9th sends me a PM saying "I'm interested in swapping spots."

Although I had a feeling and expressed it to another buddy in the league, I IM the guy asking what offer he had in mind.

His reply:

"Aren't we just going to switch draft positions?"

And now my funniest FF story, bar none:

In 1998 or so, this same league had a different cast of characters, but they had been in the league a couple of years. I was commish. Anyway I started to get fed up with this one guy who was a major donation, and finally sent him an e-mail saying "are you ever going to try and improve your team? How about making some trades?" He responds that he changes his lineup, but OK, he'll look to make some deals.

A couple of days later I get another e-mail from him, saying in a cryptic way that he completed two deals. I thought both were landslides in his favor and scratched my head, called the other two owners for their say, but was unable to get ahold of either of them. I put through the deals.

Later, one of the owners (a good buddy) calls me with terror in his voice screaming, "What the hell happened to Jimmy Smith on my team?" I said, "you traded him." He says "WHAAAATT? I didn't trade Jimmy Smith!!!!" I said "You didn't trade Jimmy Smith for Wesley Walls?" He says: "Not in a million years would I do that trade!!!"

I told him I got an e-mail from Larry (the donation) saying he made this trade with you. He says, "I haven't spoken to that moron since draft day!!"

I then call Larry back and ask what the hell is going on. He says "I made trades like we talked about." I said "did you just make up the trades in your own head? Or did you call and negotiate with the owners?"

*silence*

"Oh, you have to ask them to make a deal?"

Needless to say, that was Larry's last year in the league.

Im commish of a 10 team redraft and i just traded my 4th spot for another owners 9th spot (and all subsequent picks) straight up. Cant say I see much wrong with that. After the 2 (LT2 and SJax) there are at least 6 RBs I see that have the same value. One owner always picks Manning so you have LJ, Gore, Westy, Addai, SAlex, Parker, etc. I can have either of these and I strongly believe that this group is a crapshoot. Followed up by a possible THenry in the 2nd round and I think you have a pretty solid RB core. But as for the second part of your post, that boggles my mind....

 

[poopdawg]

In a draft we just had tonight, we had an owner take McAllister at 2.4 and D Stallworth at 3.6 (no hes not a Saints fan/ex Saints fan). I love these kinds of leagues. I dont claim to be a FF god, but leagues like this are fun.

 

[RTB1]

We invited a new guy into our league a few years ago, based mainly upon how much we liked him, not his football acumen.

Before the draft, I hand out a magazine cheat sheet (to help the less-prepared owners) and a roster of all the team owners.

After a few beers, the new guy yells out "I'm thinking of taking this L. Witte guy! Does anyone know anything about him?"

Another guy at the table doesn't miss a beat and throws out, "He's a lefty QB, about 6' 2", played pretty well in high school but often choked in the big games, and he's sitting right f*cking next to you, clown!"

That happened at least 5 years ago, and we still talk about it every draft.

 

[NoDigg41]

About 10 years ago, I was in a league with a bunch of adults who work at and are vendors for a grocery store in rural PA. With all due respect, it wasn't a rocket science league. The one guy had told the commish his big sleeper was Tim Biakabutuka, and was planning on taking him in a certain round. The guy was never competitive, drafted steelers as often as he could, mostly because that was all he knew. But being a Michigan fan, he like TB. The only catch was he couldn't pronounce his name. Last year's NFL commercial of "TJ Who'syourmama" totally replicated the Biakabutuka moment, but follow me here!

So as we all filed into the draft garage, the commish handed us a piece of paper relaying the information about TB, and asking us not to select him so Ray could, no matter what round it was, nobody was allowed to pick him and we'd find out why as the draft unfolded. Before the draft started, the commish announced that you had to announce your own player, team and position and you had to pronounce his name right or you have to pick someone else. A few of us snickered, Ray pulled out his magazine and I swear you could see him mouthing out TB's name.

Round 5 comes around, Ray stood up and proudly announces. This guy's going to have a huge year, I'm picking Tim Batooki!" 11 of us bust out laughing, one guy spit out his beer. The commish said, "Sorry Ray, pick someone else." Round six comes around Ray stands up, "Okay I'll select Tim Bikatabooki" I'm literally laying on the floor crying, Ray throw his notebook and said, "This is bulls**t, you guys are a**holes, and his parents are a**holes too."

Round 7, the commish said he could have him if he wanted him, he said, "F*** him I hope he breaks his f***in' leg!"

So Scott, another not so well educated, but really nice guy stands up. And as serious as he can be said, "If Ray won't take him I will, Tim Biakatubi."

10 of us were roaring, crying, hiccupping, Ray said, "F*** you a**hole!" And tried to go after him thinking he was making fun of him. After we broke them up, the commish banned Biakabatuka from the league for life.

Some other funny things off the top of my head:

An owner selected Domanick Davis in the 2nd round last year!

In another league, a guy drafted Clinton Portis in the second round. Another owner commented, "You know he has a bad shoulder right?!" Trying to be helpful. The drafter replied, "Last I checked you don't run on your shoulder!"

Two years ago, an owner showed up on wednesday at our club for our draft, that we conducted on tuesday!

Finally, we do our Penn State League at Hooters in State College. Our one buddy has an alter ego that emerges after about 6 beers. Everyone in the league wagers what round/pick he pisses off the waitress. He hasn't made it past the 6th round yet! Three years ago, the manager made him leave in round 12 twelve because he told the waitress, "It's not gonna pour itself, sweetheart!" When she asked if he wanted more beer!

 

[FantasyTrader]

"Bikatabooki!" LMFAO!!! I spit beer on my monitor when I read it, let alone being there!!!!

If anyone makes me laugh harder than this post I'll PayPal you $10 I swear. I'm STILL drying my eyes.

 

[RudiStein]

About 10 years ago, I was in a league with a bunch of adults who work at and are vendors for a grocery store in rural PA. With all due respect, it wasn't a rocket science league. The one guy had told the commish his big sleeper was Tim Biakabutuka...

Good stuff.

 

[Tommy Collins]

"Bikatabooki!" LMFAO!!! I spit beer on my monitor when I read it, let alone being there!!!!If anyone makes me laugh harder than this post I'll PayPal you $10 I swear. I'm STILL drying my eyes.

I cracked up too, it was great

 

[PatytonsGhost]

Having the #1 pick last year in a redraft I decided I target Shaun Alexander. I wanted to show of to my buddies my SA love so I made an iron on shirt pointing out my #1 stud pick with Alexander's face on it. I've been hearing it ever since

Not doing that again,

 

[coachjim]

About 15 years ago my son and 8 or 9 of his buddies started a fantasy league in So. Cal. A couple of years passed and they seemed to want to expand the league and my son asked me if I wanted to get in. Up to this time I had no idea what fantasy football was all about. Anyway I said sure and started my in depth research with absolutely no idea what I was doing.

Draft day rolls around and we all show up at this guys house with our $250 check and our draft lists. Well I had watched every preseason game and based quite a bit on what I saw in the preseason games. At that time there was a running back for Kanses City named Harvey Williams. He was not even the starter, I can't even remember who the starter was. Anyway in the preseason games Williams had went wild so I earmarked him as my deep sleeper that was going to earn me respect of my sons friends in this league.

I knew most of these guys but not well.

I think it was about round 4 and when it was my selection I stated that this guy was going to be all world. When I selected Harvey Williams the room went silent, then after what seemed like an eternity one of the guys said "Harvey ####### Williams, are you crazy. I was devastated.

To this day every year at our draft someone brings up Harvey ####### Williams.

The only thing that kind of balances the scales is that in 2004 I won the FFTOC Championship in it's first year and the 1st Place Prize of $10,000. The following year one of the guys had a fantasy magazine that had a quote from me regarding how to draft a team. Before the draft they said I had to be handicapped for the draft. Of course this was right before Harvey Williams was mentioned that year.

 

[Neil Beaufort Zod]

I have a buddy who, when torn between two players to start that week, will write each name on a sheet of paper and pick the one his pet chews on first.

 

[Biabreakable]

About 10 years ago, I was in a league with a bunch of adults who work at and are vendors for a grocery store in rural PA. With all due respect, it wasn't a rocket science league. The one guy had told the commish his big sleeper was Tim Biakabutuka, and was planning on taking him in a certain round. The guy was never competitive, drafted steelers as often as he could, mostly because that was all he knew. But being a Michigan fan, he like TB. The only catch was he couldn't pronounce his name. Last year's NFL commercial of "TJ Who'syourmama" totally replicated the Biakabutuka moment, but follow me here!So as we all filed into the draft garage, the commish handed us a piece of paper relaying the information about TB, and asking us not to select him so Ray could, no matter what round it was, nobody was allowed to pick him and we'd find out why as the draft unfolded. Before the draft started, the commish announced that you had to announce your own player, team and position and you had to pronounce his name right or you have to pick someone else. A few of us snickered, Ray pulled out his magazine and I swear you could see him mouthing out TB's name.Round 5 comes around, Ray stood up and proudly announces. This guy's going to have a huge year, I'm picking Tim Batooki!" 11 of us bust out laughing, one guy spit out his beer. The commish said, "Sorry Ray, pick someone else." Round six comes around Ray stands up, "Okay I'll select Tim Bikatabooki" I'm literally laying on the floor crying, Ray throw his notebook and said, "This is bulls**t, you guys are a**holes, and his parents are a**holes too."Round 7, the commish said he could have him if he wanted him, he said, "F*** him I hope he breaks his f***in' leg!" So Scott, another not so well educated, but really nice guy stands up. And as serious as he can be said, "If Ray won't take him I will, Tim Biakatubi."10 of us were roaring, crying, hiccupping, Ray said, "F*** you a**hole!" And tried to go after him thinking he was making fun of him. After we broke them up, the commish banned Biakabatuka from the league for life.

Chumpionship.

 

[elshagon]

Last year we had a guy take Ronald Curry in the third round.

We all said "WTF?!"

His reply "my girlfriend told me she'd give me a BJ if I drafted him. I know it's early to take him, but it is a BJ"

 

[chook]

Last year we had a guy take Ronald Curry in the third round. We all said "WTF?!" His reply "my girlfriend told me she'd give me a BJ if I drafted him. I know it's early to take him, but it is a BJ"

Winner.

 

[acme]

I decided to post this thread after I had this awesome exchange a few minutes ago:

I have the #3 pick in my longtime $$ re-draft league, and recently offered it up to move down in Rd 1. A guy who's new to the league (but he's been in our fantasy baseball league for years) and picks 9th sends me a PM saying "I'm interested in swapping spots."

Although I had a feeling and expressed it to another buddy in the league, I IM the guy asking what offer he had in mind.

His reply:

"Aren't we just going to switch draft positions?"

And now my funniest FF story, bar none:

In 1998 or so, this same league had a different cast of characters, but they had been in the league a couple of years. I was commish. Anyway I started to get fed up with this one guy who was a major donation, and finally sent him an e-mail saying "are you ever going to try and improve your team? How about making some trades?" He responds that he changes his lineup, but OK, he'll look to make some deals.

A couple of days later I get another e-mail from him, saying in a cryptic way that he completed two deals. I thought both were landslides in his favor and scratched my head, called the other two owners for their say, but was unable to get ahold of either of them. I put through the deals.

Later, one of the owners (a good buddy) calls me with terror in his voice screaming, "What the hell happened to Jimmy Smith on my team?" I said, "you traded him." He says "WHAAAATT? I didn't trade Jimmy Smith!!!!" I said "You didn't trade Jimmy Smith for Wesley Walls?" He says: "Not in a million years would I do that trade!!!"

I told him I got an e-mail from Larry (the donation) saying he made this trade with you. He says, "I haven't spoken to that moron since draft day!!"

I then call Larry back and ask what the hell is going on. He says "I made trades like we talked about." I said "did you just make up the trades in your own head? Or did you call and negotiate with the owners?"

*silence*

"Oh, you have to ask them to make a deal?"

Needless to say, that was Larry's last year in the league.

Im commish of a 10 team redraft and i just traded my 4th spot for another owners 9th spot (and all subsequent picks) straight up. Cant say I see much wrong with that. After the 2 (LT2 and SJax) there are at least 6 RBs I see that have the same value. One owner always picks Manning so you have LJ, Gore, Westy, Addai, SAlex, Parker, etc. I can have either of these and I strongly believe that this group is a crapshoot. Followed up by a possible THenry in the 2nd round and I think you have a pretty solid RB core.

I was kind of thinking the same thing here... assuming you're switching ALL your positions in a serpentine then the 3rd position for the 9th position seems OK -- you get the #9 and #16, he gets the #3 and #22... especially this year that seems like a very fair trade. Now if he was talking just trading 1st round picks straight up and maintaining the rest of the draft slots, then that's plain SILLY!

 

[Prof. Chaos]

Think it was in 2000. The league jerk drew the first pick 1 week before draft day. Of course he laid down a ton of smack to the point of being obnoxious untill draft day. When the clock is turned on draft day said jerk sprints to the table, rips off a label and slams it in the 1.01 slot. He then does an end zone dance back to his table all the while pointing out how he and M. FAULK are going to kick all our butts this year.

An owner 2 tables over spit beer out his mouth,thru his nose,in a 5 yard radius and began choking. I looked at the commish,an army medic to see if he was going to help the guy choking. The commish, was wide eyed,mouth open as he slowly lowered a Beam and coke to his table. He missed the table and the glass hit the floor and Beam,coke and broken glass flew over about 1/3rd of the room. He had the 2nd pick and calmly walked thru the broken glass pulled off a label and posted it in the 2nd spot. At that time another owner fell out of his chair laughing and the room erupted in howling laughter. I then read the draft board for the first time and noticed the league jerk had posted the label that read K. FAULK.

The leaue rule is"Stick the label, stuck with the player"

My team name that year, Dyslexic Kfaulkers.

 

[lebowski66]

Great stories.

I'm in a new 12-team redraft league, and at the draft this past weekend, an owner gave me hell for taking Cedric Bensen 3.02 for whatever reason. That same schmuck drafts Robbie Gould in Round 6!

Last year in a 14-teamer, an owner took Domanick Davis in Round 2 (during a Labor Day weekend draft) like a poster mentioned above. Unfortunately, he made it to the championship game. Not sure what that says about the rest of us.

 

[Lash]

not really funny at all but felt it fit in this thread

the funny part about it is a let the other owners hear about it every chance i get

year and a half ago i traded Anquan Boldin (hurt knee), willie parker, and drew brees (hurt shoulder) for peyton manning, Raven defense and larry fitzgerald to a team in major rebuild mode

i was in position to win and needed peyton in place of brees and fitz in place of boldin and a better defense

salaries (our cap is 7 keepers for 15 million cap):

Boldin 1 million

Brees 1 million

Parker 1 million

Manning 5 Million

Fitzgerald 3 million

Baltimore 4 Million

the wailing and gnashing of teeth over that trade was the worst i'd seen on any message board in 17 years of fantasy football, i gave up two hurt players and an unproven RB for the best QB, top-3 WR, and top-4 def

they caused the guy so much grief he quit the next offseason, and i didnt even win the league as i had a horrid semifinal performance

every time we get together i ask them if they feel good about running a guy off that would STILL have those three guys locked up for half a dozen years, and that all i have left out of the deal as far as being able to afford is fitzgerald who costs as much in salary as ALL THREE of the guys he got

the funny part is it makes them speechless everytime with guilt

and the greatest thing about it is that when they filled the guys spot they knew the team was so loaded that they were able to expand the league from ten to twelve teams and have an expansion draft and that guys teams players went 5 of the top seven picks in the expansion draft

 

[dlos]

Back story: I started playing with a bunch of friends. This one guy became friends while dating the commish's sisteralong time ago. I later ended up marrying this sister.

We switched to an auction, and one year him and I are both bidding up a player, it comes down to just me and him. Finally I say "You can have him, I got the girl."

 

[BroadwayG]

One of our guys was notorious for being a magazine drafter. He tried to pretend like he knew it all, but everything was like those 'talking out your ###' ESPN commercials. He'd always take injured players, and when notified of their situation, he'd announce he drafted them for the playoffs even though they were out for the season.

However, in 2000, he was finally rendered speechless after drafting Fred Lane.

RIP

 

[Pipes]

Think it was in 2000. The league jerk drew the first pick 1 week before draft day. Of course he laid down a ton of smack to the point of being obnoxious untill draft day. When the clock is turned on draft day said jerk sprints to the table, rips off a label and slams it in the 1.01 slot. He then does an end zone dance back to his table all the while pointing out how he and M. FAULK are going to kick all our butts this year.An owner 2 tables over spit beer out his mouth,thru his nose,in a 5 yard radius and began choking. I looked at the commish,an army medic to see if he was going to help the guy choking. The commish, was wide eyed,mouth open as he slowly lowered a Beam and coke to his table. He missed the table and the glass hit the floor and Beam,coke and broken glass flew over about 1/3rd of the room. He had the 2nd pick and calmly walked thru the broken glass pulled off a label and posted it in the 2nd spot. At that time another owner fell out of his chair laughing and the room erupted in howling laughter. I then read the draft board for the first time and noticed the league jerk had posted the label that read K. FAULK.The leaue rule is"Stick the label, stuck with the player"My team name that year, Dyslexic Kfaulkers.

Winnah!!!

 

[smcindoe]

Not a draft story, but...

My very first fantasy draft was 1999. I joined a friend's work league to help him out because they needed an extra guy. My first ever draft pick was Jamal Anderson, who of course blew out his knee in the very first game and was out for the season. The guy decides to rub some salt in the wound, so he sends his wife (who works with me) to tell me "better luck next year, Jamal".

Unfortunately, she didn't know the NFL at all so she got it a little mixed up. So I wound up sitting at a table full of guys eating lunch when this woman yells across the atrium "Hey, better luck next year, Kamala!"

 

[timoleander]

This just might be one of the best threads ever!

I don't have very many draft stories, but I do have one:

This owner is also a highschool football referee, so you would think he would do better than this. But, having the 1.01 pick in hand (in 2002-ish), he very deliberately selects Garrison Hearst.

We were all stunned.

 

[TheFanatic]

One of our guys was notorious for being a magazine drafter. He tried to pretend like he knew it all, but everything was like those 'talking out your ###' ESPN commercials. He'd always take injured players, and when notified of their situation, he'd announce he drafted them for the playoffs even though they were out for the season.However, in 2000, he was finally rendered speechless after drafting Fred Lane.RIP

This happened in my league. We draft really early (last weekend of July) and Fred was only dead about 3 weeks at this point. This is the inital draft of a very intense dynasty/contract league. Every guy but 1 (not the guy who drafted Lane) was hugely knowledgeable. The draft is winding down. We're in round 26 or so (22 man rosters) and only have a round or two left and guys are just grabbing backups and prospects. He stands up and decides to grab Edge's backup despite not even owning Edge. We all lost it. 7 drafts later and we have brought that up each and every draft....

 

[steelerfan1]

first year of our league we all had a live draft with the computers instead of a real draft party. one of our owners had his wife helping him out with the cheat sheets. well he gets kicked off line right as his 2nd round pick is due. he is livid and starts hitting his computer and swearing at it at the top of his lungs. of course this is summer time and his windows are open. well apparently the neighbor heard the commotion and looked in the window and saw my friend going off with his wife right there and called the cops on him because he thought that my friend was beating his wife.

the police showed up with sirens going and everything. they straightened everything out and all had a good laught over it.

 

[Revo]

The same yutz I mentioned in the 1st thread (Larry, the donation) had another great story.

At the 1999 draft (this was his last year in the league), he announces with his 1st round pick "I'll take George!" That's pretty funny in itself, but I had to ask as commish: "which one?" So he thinks for a few seconds and says "Jeff George!"

Jeff George had bombed in Oakland the year before and was by no means a #1 pick, let alone the 1st QB to be taken.

We looked at him with pity and said "Are you sure?" He finally got the hint and said, "Oh, I mean Eddie George."

 

[tomarken]

Having the #1 pick last year in a redraft I decided I target Shaun Alexander. I wanted to show of to my buddies my SA love so I made an iron on shirt pointing out my #1 stud pick with Alexander's face on it. I've been hearing it ever sinceNot doing that again,

 

[GregR_2]

In 2003 I was commissioner of a work league with IDPs that had a few good owners and a few not as good.

The 9th round rolls around in a slow, online draft, and a team selects Sean Dawkins, a wide receiver with the Vikings who was probably 7th on their depth chart at the time. I assumed he had meant to draft Brian Dawkins.

The owner drops Sean Dawkins while the draft is underway, but didn't remove him from his predraft list he'd copied to all of his rounds. So with Dawkins no longer on a roster, when his next pick rolled around he was his highest rated player and he drafted him for a second time. I saw it in time to stop the draft, revert it, and let him pick someone else.

Next round? Sean Dawkins again. Again I stop the draft, revert it, and let him pick someone else, asking him to fix his predraft lists. He must have fixed at least some of them, but in the 17th round.... you got it. The team selected Sean Dawkins for the fourth time in the draft. At that point we just let the pick stand and suggested he not cut him until after the draft was over.

 

[B. Nugget]

"Bikatabooki!" LMFAO!!! I spit beer on my monitor when I read it, let alone being there!!!!If anyone makes me laugh harder than this post I'll PayPal you $10 I swear. I'm STILL drying my eyes.

I'm in a keeper league with my softball buddies, but about 4-5 years ago when it was still a redraft, one of my buddies took Lamar Thompson, RB for San Diego at pick 1.05. After we quit laughing and corrected him and told him how to properly pronounce LT's name, he went about 5-6 rounds before drafting Amos Zimbobwe, RB Pittsburgh Steelers!Last year, with the 3rd pick in the rookie draft he drafted Joseph Oddy! He is usually good for a laugh or two each year and ironically, he pulled a deal in the offseason for TJ Who's your Mama, so I'm looking forward to heckling him early and often this year.

 

[curta269]

I have a buddy who, when torn between two players to start that week, will write each name on a sheet of paper and pick the one his pet chews on first.

Sounds like the Cleveland Browns deciding on which QB to start this past week.

 

[Scruff Mcgruff]

Every Mock Draft I do, I use the team name "Jeffrey Dahmer" and write in the discussion boards that I plan to kill and eat the rosters of my opposition.

 

[BroadwayG]

Every Mock Draft I do, I use the team name "Jeffrey Dahmer" and write in the discussion boards that I plan to kill and eat the rosters of my opposition.Some people can appreciate it, most can't.

 

[u999spf]

We invited a new guy into our league a few years ago, based mainly upon how much we liked him, not his football acumen.Before the draft, I hand out a magazine cheat sheet (to help the less-prepared owners) and a roster of all the team owners.After a few beers, the new guy yells out "I'm thinking of taking this L. Witte guy! Does anyone know anything about him?"Another guy at the table doesn't miss a beat and throws out, "He's a lefty QB, about 6' 2", played pretty well in high school but often choked in the big games, and he's sitting right f*cking next to you, clown!"That happened at least 5 years ago, and we still talk about it every draft.

That is classic!

 

[Wrigley]

A few years ago, a new owner showed up with nothing more than his "Miller Lite football guide"......you know what I'm talking about, the little book that comes in a case of beer.

Needless to say, he didn't fare very well that season.

Another time(a few years ago).....I brought a fantasy football magazine with me, the problem was it was more than a few years old.....I marked out the date on the front and set it out on one of the draft tables.

After about 30-40 min.....several owners are looking through it for their next picks........

 

[Pickle Rody]

!2 team, 5 keeper league......

We had a guy involved for a few years who was not the brightest. In 2004, Marcel Shipp went down with an injury during the pre-season that landed him on IR. My buddy (who had won the championship the year before) and I tried to help this poor sap out. We told him repeatedly not to draft this RB (Shipp.) Lo and behold, doesn't the mother-f'er pick him in round 5. He was forced to keep him on his roster until the end of the draft, when he could make a waiver move. At the end of said draft he proceeded to select three more players who were either injured or retired until he finally settled on one still alive and active. What a dolt!

 

[brutha]

we just started auctions a few years back....that first year we were all new to it but there was one guy who somehow just didn't shall we say seem to quite get the concept yet. anyway that first year Vick is nominated. at the time he was considered a sort of middle tier QB. the bidding is going something like 10...11...12........

from the back of the room he blurts out (loudly) "THIRTY BUCKS BABY!!"

...brief pause as we all stare at each other....

the auctioneer goes "uh you sure" and another goes "you realize this is a $100 cap and not $200 right" - and you could see he was starting to wonder what he'd done based on the poker faces he was suddenly getting, but in a vain face-saving effort he goes "yeah yeah, 30 bucks, you'll see"

so we sort of shrugged our shoulders and someone goes "I don't think we need to pause for another bid on this one."

needless to say, he won the bid as the snickers started to build (and still gets ribbed about it). later he admitted he did think it was a $200 cap.

last year he stood up to make a nomination and goes "JOE KLOPENSTEIN!!"

...another brief pause and a few confused looks....

finally someone goes "WHO THE F###??"

I think at least one guy spit out some beer. of course at that point the jokes about the earlier goof came back out lol

 

[IHaveTheBestTopLeft1stMolr]

A few years ago I had an owner who was rude and disruptive to the league. We had 16 owners, and he was 5th in points, but he still finished below .500 because he kept losing high scoring games. In his first playoff game, it was the same thing, he lost another shoot out. Had to laugh.

 

[humphrp]

This thread has potential! We had a guy a number of years ago in a 10 team redraft take Keith Byers 1.04.And the way he announced his pick...was priceless. He was so pumped and so proud.I never heard a room so silent in my life followed by so much laughter.Last year we had a guy select a player he had already selected 4 rounds earlier.

Insert Shaun King and 1.01 and you have a classsic moment in our leagues draft history

 

[Heinz 57]

My funniest fantasy football story is my Ports vs. Thomas Jones 2007 thread.

 

[jamchamp1]

traded tony fisher and tiki barber for andre johnson and jamal lewis 3 days before he broke the single game rushing record

 

[prosopis]

Fred Lane being drafted post mortem is the funniest thing I have seen.

 

[Mark Wimer]

So, the commissioner of my long-time redraft league (since 1989, a veteran of 12 fantasy seasons at this point) is working on a draft-day trade of a mid round pick back in August 2000. As the timer ticks down, the trade melts down on him - so, in desperation, he tries to draft the backup to Tim Biakabutuka, his RB#2.... and shouts out "Fred Lane".

This was a horrible pick because (#1) Lane had been traded to the Colts during the off-season and (#2) Lane's wife had recently murdered Lane.

Richard is still the only person in league history to draft a dead person.

 

[Mark Wimer]

Fred Lane being drafted post mortem is the funniest thing I have seen.

 

[chris1969]

I don't remember exactly how long ago it was but I want to say around 1994. Every year I would always mess with a buddy in my league. He'd always ask me about my opinions of certain players and every now and then I would make up something about a player and not let him in on it until last minute on draft day. He knew I was doing it, so it was kind of a game. He'd usually catch most of the stuff, but every year I'd have at least 1 guy that he didn't catch and I would let him who it was right before the draft and he'd have to adjust his cheat sheet on the fly. Well in this particular year My buddy was in the expert draft for Fantasy Football Index. For those of you that keep back issues his name is Greg Powers. Back then FFI got their experts from guys that advertised with them. My buddy sold custom cheat sheets (with IDP BTW which was rare at the time) and I developed a software program for him to automate what he did by hand. Anyway he calls me up out of the blue and asks me about Steve Christie, K for the Bills. Well that year Christie was the top K on my list and a perfect candidate to do a snow job on my buddy. I told him that Steve Christie had a woman that was claiming that he raped her and that prosecutors were trying to accumulate more evidence before they officially charged him. This was in May of that year and I knew he'd figure this one out before the draft, but it's fun to mess with him anyway. What I forgot about was the expert draft. His deadline was like 2 days after I talked to him and he dropped Christie down to like K #11. FFI always talks about the picks experts make that don't jive with the other experts and they usually ask them for comments for at least 1 of them. They did note that he had Christie ranked lower than everybody else but thankfully they asked him about a different player. It's funny now, but I remember thinking how close I came to be sued by Christie at the time. Not that he could have got much from a young College kid at the time.

 

[Helmet Head]

In the 90's when Ricky Watters was putting up good numbers, I really wanted him.

In the first or second round of our snake draft, I was going to select Watters. The guy next to me at the table was picking just before me. He leans over and asks, "So what do you think of Ricky Watters this year?" I relpy, "I think he's going down hill and has become injury prone." The owner think a little and selects somebody that did squat. The commish asks, "Who are you going to take Helmet Head?" Withoug any hesitation and in half a second I respond, "Ricky Watters!"

If looks could kill I would be dead.

HH

 

[BLOX]

A little different take on this one...

Three or four years ago...

We had a newbie recruited to fill an open spot. He wasn't into sports much as he was more of a PC guy.

Anyway, the day of the draft he ends up picking the #1 pick.

He procedes to blurt out some scrub player and act all excited grabbing his roster sheet to write the player in.

Lots of grumbles and groans when he blurts out, "Yeah, right. You guys seriously think I didn't come here prepared. Give me LT."

Kind of a different spin as the newbie got the regulars. Pretty decent joke he played. Considering the guy he replaced drafted Baltimore D in the first round the year before.

Another one we talk about is when Prestess Holmes was drafted.