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Official Drunk Thread


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A little bit early tonight.Had a twelve pack and goin to bed. I have a big golf tourney tomorrow for $5000.Bachelor party at the boat tomorrow so I hope I win.

I'm still hungover from December 23.

This is beautiful

I just had a fart that lasted about 8 seconds

9 here
Dang, I one that lasted a solid 5 and I thought I was cool. :kicksrock:
Better to be a solid 5 than a juicy 9
I would love to have a juicy 9. I married a solid 5Even though this post is shtick, please don't quote. I'm probably going to delete this in the morning.
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

one more

Yeah ok
Hi guys! I just got home from work. Probably not getting drunk, but going to have this 22 oz Long Trail and maybe a scotch after that.
As long as you're not planning on getting drunk.
Planning?
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  • 3 weeks later...

Trying to talk my wife into letting me get a biomechanical tattoo.

Update?

Hello friend.

Greetings. How did daddy day care work out for you tonight?

Pretty well, actually. It turns out things are easier if you don't have as many rules.

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Trying to talk my wife into letting me get a biomechanical tattoo.

Update?

Hello friend.

Greetings. How did daddy day care work out for you tonight?

Pretty well, actually. It turns out things are easier if you don't have as many rules.

:thumbup:

I got stuck with the 7 month old for about 3 hours. Basically during Louisville v Wichita State. No rules, but I kinda had to pay attention with the food and the milk and the putting to bed and stuff.

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They only wanted chips for dinner so I gave them a bag and told them to go nuts. Then after I put the little one to bed I told the girl she could just stay up however late she wanted and she went to bed at 9. Went well.

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They only wanted chips for dinner so I gave them a bag and told them to go nuts. Then after I put the little one to bed I told the girl she could just stay up however late she wanted and she went to bed at 9. Went well.

I was supposed to feed him pureed avocados. I opted for some apples (which he loves) and some booby milk. Wish I could just pull out some chips.

But hey, more chips for me.

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They only wanted chips for dinner so I gave them a bag and told them to go nuts. Then after I put the little one to bed I told the girl she could just stay up however late she wanted and she went to bed at 9. Went well.

I was supposed to feed him pureed avocados. I opted for some apples (which he loves) and some booby milk. Wish I could just pull out some chips.

But hey, more chips for me.

Pro tip: If you have to watch them all day (when they're old enough, obviously) you can get a large popcorn chicken from KFC around lunchtime and just leave it out all day and they will go ahead and eat it for both lunch and dinner.

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Wife just texted me that they're going to bed. She's on a girls weekend out of town. Girls really don't know how to do the weekend away properly.

Also probably just going to use this as a blog for a while.

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Honestly, being with my 2 kids is pretty easy. Being with my wife is pretty easy. Put them all together and that's when it gets hard. Unfortunately that's the general everyday status.

Agreed, but make that 1 kid.

Wife just texted me that they're going to bed. She's on a girls weekend out of town. Girls really don't know how to do the weekend away properly.

Also probably just going to use this as a blog for a while.

My wife went out for an unmarried friend birthday. I figured they'd whore it up til at least midnight. She came home at 8:30

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I've never seen Airplane

I can forgive you talking #### about me, my home state, my favorite teams etc. But how is this possible? You can't watch it now. You'll hate it. And that makes me sad.

I know. Me too.

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Would you guys be mad at me if I said I wished I had a wife sometimes?

Not at all. I complain about her in fun. I wouldn't be able to function without her. What would we do without that $275?

:lmao:

This is perfect...even though my wife makes more money than me.

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Wife just texted me that they're going to bed. She's on a girls weekend out of town. Girls really don't know how to do the weekend away properly.

Also probably just going to use this as a blog for a while.

When I am out of town with the guys, I always text my wife and tell her I am going to bed about 5 hours earlier than I actually go to bed.

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Wife just texted me that they're going to bed. She's on a girls weekend out of town. Girls really don't know how to do the weekend away properly.

Also probably just going to use this as a blog for a while.

When I am out of town with the guys, I always text my wife and tell her I am going to bed about 5 hours earlier than I actually go to bed.

Already did this

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Wife just texted me that they're going to bed. She's on a girls weekend out of town. Girls really don't know how to do the weekend away properly.

Also probably just going to use this as a blog for a while.

When I am out of town with the guys, I always text my wife and tell her I am going to bed about 5 hours earlier than I actually go to bed.

That's chapter 3 of MarriedGuy 101

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Wife just texted me that they're going to bed. She's on a girls weekend out of town. Girls really don't know how to do the weekend away properly.

Also probably just going to use this as a blog for a while.

When I am out of town with the guys, I always text my wife and tell her I am going to bed about 5 hours earlier than I actually go to bed.

Already did this

Wait I read that wrong. Trust me, I know her friends. They actually make me angry with how boring they are. My wife is hot enough to get hit on by college dudes, but none of them are so they don't go have fun and stuff and I can't remember how to make this make sense.

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Wife just texted me that they're going to bed. She's on a girls weekend out of town. Girls really don't know how to do the weekend away properly.

Also probably just going to use this as a blog for a while.

When I am out of town with the guys, I always text my wife and tell her I am going to bed about 5 hours earlier than I actually go to bed.

Already did this

Wait I read that wrong. Trust me, I know her friends. They actually make me angry with how boring they are. My wife is hot enough to get hit on by college dudes, but none of them are so they don't go have fun and stuff and I can't remember how to make this make sense.

It makes sense except for the part about why it angers you.

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