What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

Official Drunk Thread (1 Viewer)

(Circa 2003) 5 of my GBs and I went out to a local establishment and met up with some girls at dinner time. Long story short I ended up dating one of them for a year or so and she cheated on me (might be a thread or two about that here) but yada yada yada

One broad was like a 6 on the normal people scale and a 6 on the fivehead scale yet my GB kept in touch with her for some reason. Word has it she's having a party and he invites all of us. We walk in and 4 ugly broads and 2 geeky dudes are playing one of those DVD board games....like Movie Quotes or some ####. Pretty sure the millennials won't get that reference but whatevs. We bail and go back to the bar while "Kevin" stays and tries to get an HJ. PS there's a hot tub.

The rest of us show up at bar time. They're mildly buzzed. Maddog 20/20 was apparently a hit with them. We had been doing shots for 4 hours. Things took a turn.

Kevin says "Why don't we go in the hot tub?" Probably the first smart thing he said all night. So the geeks get in the tub while me and the rest of my GBs have the run of the house. We're playing ####### with the few remaining friends she has and getting them all ####ed up with waterfalls and shotguns and whatnot. 

Lots of booze drank. A few bowls smoked. And I decided to explore. I walk upstairs and go into this chicks room. (I'm 22ish at this point) I grab a handful of her panties and stuff them in my pocket. Fthor no reason. Then I go into her parents room and steal the Pearl Harbor DVD  off their dresser (yes Ben Afflek movie). I hadn't seen it yet so why not?

While I'm in there I also decide to piss all over her parents bed. Not like spray....I pooled it on the left side right by the pillow. It was a long pee. I still feel bad about that to this day. Total **** move....of the 30 I pulled that night

We left shortly after that. It was probably 5am at this point and my GB drove us to a known 3rd shift bar called Zads (hi @Thorn) I put panties on the drivers face no more that 5 times. Luckily there was no one on the road and there was some sniffing going on. I was dancing with a tranny  at this bar (think jazz hands) and they all left me there with no money. I left the bar at 9am and walked/stumbled 4 miles to my duplex. I slept until 6pm and drove to Madison to bang the broad I met at dinner time. That stupid whore.

 
Lots of booze drank. A few bowls smoked. And I decided to explore. I walk upstairs and go into this chicks room. (I'm 22ish at this point) I grab a handful of her panties and stuff them in my pocket. Fthor no reason. Then I go into her parents room and steal the Pearl Harbor DVD  off their dresser (yes Ben Afflek movie). I hadn't seen it yet so why not?
:lmao:

WTF is wrong with you?  And when I say WTF is wrong with you, what I mean is...you're awesome.  :hifive:

 
He was cheating on gf, he didnt know she knew he was cheating.  So she started making out with him and stsrted a handy.  He couldnt figure it out but then he did.  She found out he was cheating and beat him off with sandpaper....game over.

 
the Dewars and water (barely) are goin' down like a coke ho on prom night   :ptts:

this #### is a slight step above Novocaine, #### liquor, but one hell of a buzzz, cuz   :bye:

 
He was cheating on gf, he didnt know she knew he was cheating.  So she started making out with him and stsrted a handy.  He couldnt figure it out but then he did.  She found out he was cheating and beat him off with sandpaper....game over.
Sandpaper Handy is the name of my Radiohead coverband. It hurts a lot to start off, but eventually you get numb to it

 
Think we still need a story from DD.

Coming back to this thread is awesome. No recollection of typing out the Pearl Harbor story. :lmao:

 Probably shouldn't be logged for the rest of time but here we are.

 
High School graduation party for my nephew and my wife doesn't hate me (more than usual).  Slap it high #####es!

 
totally hammered right now, but instead of angry drunk I was pretty damn happy today.  it was a nice change.

 
My local Total Wine finally got some more Old Ezra. No idea why this stuff is on the bottom shelf. Great value at $20.  :suds:

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top