Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 WerdTell me you got laid in your absence...I'll hang up and listen tomorrow morning...got a box munching waiting on my bed....PS Hai homer, I just bought a house so you have no lodging worries in MKE anymore:confused:I can't wait 'til I have some time to sit down and explain the last few weeks over at the oth:e:r place.Good times for Homer and his wang. God I love bartending. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 22 beers;)Jesus.BTW, have you ever been to Waukesha? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Encyclopedia Brown 2,647 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 22 beers;)Jesus.BTW, have you ever been to Waukesha? HJS:Have you ever read the novel "Goodbye Columbus"? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 22 beers;)Jesus.BTW, have you ever been to Waukesha? HJS:Have you ever read the novel "Goodbye Columbus"?Never heard of it, but I'm intrigued. Synopsis? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Been drunk twice today. Tanked last night and went to bed around 4.Woke up at 7:30 for golf.Boozed by 11:00Tanked by 1pm.Eating Taco Bell at 2pm.Asleep at 3pm.Woke up at 7.Went to work at 8.Closed at 2.Drunk by 3.More drunk right now.Just flicked ashes into the beer I was drinking instead of the empty can next to it.Still drinking it anyway.Currently contemplating masturbation.Masturbated.Work at noon tomorrow.Off at 7.Will be smashed by 10.Sack deep into a 22-year-old by 2am.Good times. Fixed. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Haverchuck 0 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I am hammered. Been playing poker since 4pm. Won some coin. Won a 2 team parlay, Dodgers and Celtics money line, and took the over the the Celts game. Tons of beer, 5 shots of Jameson, and a dirty vodka shot in me, good times. Drinking a Coke and eating a sammich from 7Eleven, and on FBG, good times....alsonotreally, should be sleeping. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Haverchuck 0 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I am hammered. Been playing poker since 4pm. Won some coin. Won a 2 team parlay, Dodgers and Celtics money line, and took the over the the Celts game. Tons of beer, 5 shots of Jameson, and a dirty vodka shot in me, good times. Drinking a Coke and eating a sammich from 7Eleven, and on FBG, good times....alsonotreally, should be sleeping. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Haverchuck 0 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I am hammered. Been playing poker since 4pm. Won some coin. Won a 2 team parlay, Dodgers and Celtics money line, and took the over the the Celts game. Tons of beer, 5 shots of Jameson, and a dirty vodka shot in me, good times. Drinking a Coke and eating a sammich from 7Eleven, and on FBG, good times....alsonotreally, should be sleeping. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Haverchuck 0 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 damn 3 posts, I am more hammered than I thought Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sonny Lubick Blowup Doll 90 Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alias 1 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 last night, I remember drinking a soda from McDonalds while at my local, nobody in the bar but me and the bartender at 4AM. I look at my bank statement and notice two charges from an MTA Vending machine for $81 each, yet no metrocard in my wallet. GB NYC MTA allowing you to get a refund for lost or stolen cards. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I suck at softball. I'm 0 for May But I'm batting 1.000 at the bar Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JAA 2,508 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 stuck at work on a maintenance conf call. i wish i was drunk, it would make this manotony managable ... might even help my spelling Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Z Machine 4,988 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Gettin there... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArcticEdge 3 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Thinking about it.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Thinking about it..Do it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FatMax 121 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Hi homer. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Hi homer.Howdy, Max. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Teumessian Fox 6 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 If you are not toasted get out of my damn threadNo. You get out of my damn thread.I think you heard me just fine punchy.I ain't your friend, palooka Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArcticEdge 3 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Thinking about it..Do it."The dishes are done dude.." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Super King 449 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Had a few 24 oz. Banquet Beers. Taking resin hits to keep it going.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 If you are not toasted get out of my damn threadNo. You get out of my damn thread.I think you heard me just fine punchy.I ain't your friend, palookaBLANKY TIME!!Just got home from a bar scene after the Brewers V Cubs gameWerd Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shining path 14 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 If you are not toasted get out of my damn threadNo. You get out of my damn thread.I think you heard me just fine punchy.I ain't your friend, palookaBLANKY TIME!!Just got home from a bar scene after the Brewers V Cubs gameWerdI don't even care about what you're talking about, I just want someone to talk to me. I don't even want to talk, I just want other people to talk so I can hang around the fringes and be a little less lonely. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I don't even care about what you're talking about, I just want someone to talk to me. I don't even want to talk, I just want other people to talk so I can hang around the fringes and be a little less lonely.Welcome to my world in the drunk thread :blackdot:Hi Shiney!! How are you? A/S/L? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shining path 14 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 A/S/L?What does this mean? One of those things I should know... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 (edited) A/S/L?What does this mean? One of those things I should know...######/sexhole/lingusA Nuss was really censored? Nice Edited May 9, 2009 by strykerpks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tecumseh 1,670 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Captain is a sneaky bastard. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Disco Stu 476 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Maybe it's just cause i'm half drunk, but that snl bit was gd hilarious. "mother lover" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
satch 163 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I'll check in here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Disco Stu 476 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Started drinking beer at 3. Switched to rum and coke about an hour ago. Probablty the best idea iI"ve ever had. about time to start the booty texts.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Im not gonna remmember #### Hi Stu SO Im at this broads house and she is 100% confirmed that the illuminati is real. Someone punch me in the face because that will be more pleasant than listening to that whore I had the green light to wreck her vajayjay but snuck out while she peed....took my 6 pack of Schlitz and booked home Based on last night and tonight,m I NEED to quit the alcohol :-/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Disco Stu 476 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 didn't you have a live-in gf gb? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 (edited) didn't you have a live-in gf gb?Umm maybeNothing happened:lmao:The point is that this broad REALLY thoght the NWO is real. She was dumber than jim11, but with nice big hooters Edited May 10, 2009 by strykerpks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shining path 14 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Im not gonna remmember ####Hi StuSO Im at this broads house and she is 100% confirmed that the illuminati is real. Someone punch me in the face because that will be more pleasant than listening to that whoreI had the green light to wreck her vajayjay but snuck out while she peed....took my 6 pack of Schlitz and booked home :thumbup:Based on last night and tonight,m I NEED to quit the alcohol :-/She must have been less-than-perfect-looking for you to pass up a green light. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Disco Stu 476 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Started drinking beer at 3. Switched to rum and coke about an hour ago. Probablty the best idea iI"ve ever had.about time to start the booty texts....Update: on her awwya. #### ican't type way. wtf. keyboard is a ####.anmway :pcickle; Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Disco Stu 476 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 jesus that wass bad posting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Im not gonna remmember ####Hi StuSO Im at this broads house and she is 100% confirmed that the illuminati is real. Someone punch me in the face because that will be more pleasant than listening to that whoreI had the green light to wreck her vajayjay but snuck out while she peed....took my 6 pack of Schlitz and booked home :thumbup:Based on last night and tonight,m I NEED to quit the alcohol :-/She must have been less-than-perfect-looking for you to pass up a green light.Yes...but her "NWO" shtick wore me out as wellStarted drinking beer at 3. Switched to rum and coke about an hour ago. Probablty the best idea iI"ve ever had.about time to start the booty texts....Update: on her awwya. #### ican't type way. wtf. keyboard is a ####.anmway :pcickle;Quoting for humor sake Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Disco Stu 476 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I went from halfdrunk to lit really h####ing fast. needs to clsoe this thread beforne she gets here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I went from halfdrunk to lit really h####ing fast. needs to clsoe this thread beforne she gets here.Hit that #### alreadyyou got more game than HOtis....keep workin it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I closed the bar at 2:30...and then started drinking. Still working it at 6:10am. Seriously, the sun is fully up and I just cracked a beer. GB Homer. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Why? Why? Why can't I just close the bar at 1:30 and head home like a normal person. I have to go meet people at the bar down the street and PowerDrink until they kick us out. and then come home and keep drinking. What possible good is going to come out of this situation? F### my liver. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Why? Why?Why can't I just close the bar at 1:30 and head home like a normal person. I have to go meet people at the bar down the street and PowerDrinkâ„¢ until they kick us out. and then come home and keep drinking. What possible good is going to come out of this situation?F### my liver.WomenWhat, like I'm going to find some random broad in my closet? The trunk of my car, sure...but somewhere in my apartment? It just ain't gonna happen, GB.Or did you mean the going out to the bar part? No, I knew who was there and there was no shot at a hookup...I just wanted to slam 5 pints in 40 minutes. Because apparently that's where I'm at right now.Actually, what the #### am I #####ing about?Nevermind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 mmmmmm...beer and a couple of sleeping pills...zzzzzzz...drool.... If my next post consists of a forehead-sized mashing of letters, don't be alarmed. Something like this hghfjghieruhgisjcglxjhilurhkjhbcluhglirthlkrjhlirsuhtilruuuhliurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr is totally ok. G'night. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 OK, so I got up at 12:30 and was drinking at 1:30. Golfing at 3. Just stopped drinking a little bit ago. WHEEEEE! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
YSR 955 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 OK, so I got up at 12:30 and was drinking at 1:30. Golfing at 3. Just stopped drinking a little bit ago.WHEEEEE! GB You, Homer. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wrigley 3,446 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 1/2 price margarita night at the local Mexican place WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Quote Link to post Share on other sites
strykerpks 3,980 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Still 0 for May I'm in trouble because I should have been packing tonight...and last night...and Monday...etc PS Homer, we would both die of alcohol piosining and ###### if we cornholed Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Still 0 for May :bag:I'm in trouble because I should have been packing tonight...and last night...and Monday...etc :excited:PS Homer, we would both die of alcohol piosining and ###### if we cornholed :homer: :suds: :pickle: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer J Simpson 8,446 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Worked again. Boozed again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shining path 14 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 mmmmmm...beer and a couple of sleeping pills...zzzzzzz...drool....The last time I did this I wet myself (not kidding). Booze and Ambien don't mix. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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