the rover
Footballguy
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Official Drunk Thread (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter Jeromen
- Start date
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Good advice here. So I give her the answers to the test. Then I gave them to my three closest friends.They were also teaching sex ed at the same time so they had us segregated. Because of this they had the girls take the test first. Guess what? They got busted.
strykerpks
Footballguy
Roughly 15-20% of my posts on this board are in this thread so....yah
For expert advice, I'd go by sitting..have some of one per sitting 
ETA - Start with the Gentleman
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Homer J Simpson
I don't push
Bit##es, man. :shakeshead:
the rover
Footballguy
This seems to be the way to go, but if they're all going to be gone in a few days, shouldn't I enjoy the variety?Normally, I just buy the same brand with an occasional departure to the more expensive Blanton's, so the opportunity for taste testing doesn't really present itself.Drinking Fat Tire while I sort this out.Roughly 15-20% of my posts on this board are in this thread so....yah
strykerpks
Footballguy
You're thinking too much. THis is the drunk thread. We really dont care how you get/got thereThis seems to be the way to go, but if they're all going to be gone in a few days, shouldn't I enjoy the variety?Normally, I just buy the same brand with an occasional departure to the more expensive Blanton's, so the opportunity for taste testing doesn't really present itself.Drinking Fat Tire while I sort this out.Roughly 15-20% of my posts on this board are in this thread so....yah
Go with your gut...but be careful...yhour gut may rebel against you
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Yeah, it really woke me up.So we are walking back to the classroom and all of these chicks are crying. A guy leans into me asking WTF was going on. None of my friends passed it on. Which is why they re friends today. Excepct fot Marcus of course. He's dead.
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
Oh Yes!
Footballguy
you wanted to go to my pregnant sisters birthday dinner?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
So guess who it all came down on. Yeah. Plus I had buddies pissed off I didn't give them the answers.
strykerpks
Footballguy
Thats it? Payoff of NFZ and PatsWillWin proportions
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
How old? And how pregnant?you wanted to go to my pregnant sisters birthday dinner?
Oh Yes!
Footballguy
had an 11oz filet and some mashed potatoes. #### man i was in heaven.How old? And how pregnant?you wanted to go to my pregnant sisters birthday dinner?
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Know what happened next? They were so mad they literally threw me out of the school.
I was pissed.
I paced,mad as hell, on what I was going to do.
I came up with"I'm 11". I rubbed dirt in my eyes to cry. I said I was sorry. I said my dad would kill me (that's true).
I skated with a 1 hour detention and they didn't tell my parents.
I've told my dad a long time ago about this. He laughed.
I was pissed.
I paced,mad as hell, on what I was going to do.
I came up with"I'm 11". I rubbed dirt in my eyes to cry. I said I was sorry. I said my dad would kill me (that's true).
I skated with a 1 hour detention and they didn't tell my parents.
I've told my dad a long time ago about this. He laughed.
strykerpks
Footballguy
I'll give your pregnant sister some mashed potatoes.....wait
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Know what happened next? They were so mad they literally threw me out of the school.
I was pissed.
I paced,mad as hell, on what I was going to do.
I came up with"I'm 11". I rubbed dirt in my eyes to cry. I said I was sorry. I said my dad would kill me (that's true).
I skated with a 1 hour detention and they didn't tell my parents.
I've told my dad a long time ago about this. He laughed.
I was pissed.
I paced,mad as hell, on what I was going to do.
I came up with"I'm 11". I rubbed dirt in my eyes to cry. I said I was sorry. I said my dad would kill me (that's true).
I skated with a 1 hour detention and they didn't tell my parents.
I've told my dad a long time ago about this. He laughed.
strykerpks
Footballguy
I dont care what anyone says....SL Bob is top notch. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was locked inside my own bathroom and ended up beating the eff out of this kid in 8th grade?ETA strange story...go with me
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strykerpks
Footballguy
Could this dumb limey on CC right now be any worse?Works for me GB.
I'm going to hobble over to the bar and make another.
I'm swapping between standup on Comedy Central and Coming To America.
You?
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St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Thanks GB,
I've held back on so many good stories.
You gotta be smart ya know?
I've held back on so many good stories.
You gotta be smart ya know?
the rover
Footballguy
I'm pissed at myself for watching this because i remember watching it before and being pissed that I wasted my timeCould this dumb limey on CC right now be any worse?Works for me GB.
I'm going to hobble over to the bar and make another.
I'm swapping between standup on Comedy Central and Coming To America.
You?
strykerpks
Footballguy
So my parents decided to redo the carpet in our upstairs hallway and in the upstairs bathroom. At the time my mom and I were the last ones to leave the house. She would leave at about 7:30 and I would leave around 7:50. She would normally open the door while I was showering and say "Hey Matt, I'm leaving for work. Have a good day at school""Thanks mom..bye"
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
The guy berfore the mick was funny.
Jerks.
Jerks.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
OOOOOOOH! A SERIAL!!!
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I'm drunk typing from a BB.Easy on me GB.
strykerpks
Footballguy
So..what I didn't tell you ####ers before...was that the bathroom door didn't close all the way after they installed the carpet. So my dad, being the guy who graduated HS a year early so he could join the Navy...who was an engineer for MaBell/AT&T/Ameritech/SBC etc...decides to take the door off and sand down the bottom so it would shut.Great idea. Most people would probably do that, rather than cut up the carpet etc...So anyways, he puts the door back on....but somehow...someway...the lock ends up on the outside. To this day we give him #### about it. His explanation is that he had to take the doorknob off for some reason. There is no reason in my book...but anyways, thats the backstory.....OOOOOOOH! A SERIAL!!!
strykerpks
Footballguy
Sorry Bob...just read for a bitSo...my mom would open the bathroom door while I'm in the shower and say "Hey Matt, I'm leaving for work...get to school ok""OK mom...bye".......That day I get out of the shower, dry off...shave the 8 whiskers I have on my face, brush my teeth and go to exit the bathroom.....locked.Did I mention that our 4 month "graduation" project was due that day? Did I mention this was during the Milwaaukee Cryptosporidium scare?Long story short, I whacked off......cleaned the sink, shower, toilet....stacked up towels and took a nap....Finally around 11 my sister came home from college for lunch. I pound on the door screaming "HELP HELP"She hits the floor (apparently) and is ready to call the cops. I'm screaming "SARA, SARA LET ME OUT"She unlocks the door and lets me out and I go to school right at lunch time.....
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Can we please stop with the Girls Gone Wild commercials.
I would rather have a giant steak on a trebel hook come cruising through my family room.
I would rather have a giant steak on a trebel hook come cruising through my family room.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
strykerpks
Footballguy
I get to school, embarassed to tell my story. But I do to my 8th grade teacher. He actually belives me, calls my mom and lets me go to lunch (I lived right across the street from school/church...this was a Catholic grade school)
Wow, I let this go way too long
Anyway, Sean Dean and Larry Wendorf came up to me during recess and were giving me ####. Both of them pushed me. They forgot I was left handed. I landed 2 punches in 1 swing. Clocked Sean and followed to Larry at the same time.
I've gotten my ### beat many times and could never repeat that kind of punch.
Sorry...really bad/terrible/lame payoff
It was a better idea when I started typing
Wow, I let this go way too long
Anyway, Sean Dean and Larry Wendorf came up to me during recess and were giving me ####. Both of them pushed me. They forgot I was left handed. I landed 2 punches in 1 swing. Clocked Sean and followed to Larry at the same time.
I've gotten my ### beat many times and could never repeat that kind of punch.
Sorry...really bad/terrible/lame payoff
It was a better idea when I started typing
strykerpks
Footballguy
Going to my 5th JacknCoke if that helps
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
It doesn't.Going to my 5th JacknCoke if that helps
strykerpks
Footballguy
:(Oof....I'm bad a telling stories by typing...really, I get lots of laughs when I tell it IRLIt doesn't.
I"m never posting here again
strykerpks
Footballguy
#### you Homer, we've had like 3 pages with me around tonight....you cant carry that
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Homer J Simpson
I don't push
You had me at "#### you".#### you Homer, we've had like 3 pages with me around tonight....you cant carry that
the rover
Footballguy
still better than the nonsense story ham is trying to sell.:(Oof....I'm bad a telling stories by typing...really, I get lots of laughs when I tell it IRLIt doesn't.
strykerpks
Footballguy
OK, the mick is doing pretty wellI'm pissed at myself for watching this because i remember watching it before and being pissed that I wasted my timeCould this dumb limey on CC right now be any worse?Works for me GB.
I'm going to hobble over to the bar and make another.
I'm swapping between standup on Comedy Central and Coming To America.
You?
"How many beers are you going to have tonight?""I can't put a number on that...ok...a small childs worth"
strykerpks
Footballguy
Yeah babySmoke breakYou had me at "#### you".#### you Homer, we've had like 3 pages with me around tonight....you cant carry that
strykerpks
Footballguy
IYeah babySmoke breakYou had me at "#### you".#### you Homer, we've had like 3 pages with me around tonight....you cant carry that
you Homer#### the eat off...how about a drink off?
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
IYeah babySmoke breakYou had me at "#### you".#### you Homer, we've had like 3 pages with me around tonight....you cant carry that
you Homer#### the eat off...how about a drink off?
Reply forthcoming...
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
My desk right now...IYeah babySmoke breakYou had me at "#### you".#### you Homer, we've had like 3 pages with me around tonight....you cant carry that
the rover
Footballguy
were you just eating sour cream straight out of the container with that spoon?
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
strykerpks
Footballguy
It's on #####
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
I wish. Remains from a recent Taco Bell binge. I'm a fatguy.
And I just realized that right behind the ashtray is my wackin' lube.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
By the F'ing way...I absolutely LOVE the drink-off idea.
How can we make this work?
How can we make this work?
the rover
Footballguy
webcams and a fresh bottle.
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