smotherhook
Footballguy
lol, would the kid be known as a posquitobakes said:
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A note to my coworker ... (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Nigel Tufnel
- Start date
BoltThrower
Footballguy
How in the frack do you fail at box numbering????
Box 9 of 1
Box 9 of 2
Box 9 of 3...
at least you got box 9 right.
Box 9 of 1
Box 9 of 2
Box 9 of 3...
at least you got box 9 right.
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
Dear Woman who answers the phone in our other office,
The faxes that come in are supposed to be treated like incoming mail, not sit there for 3 weeks untouched.
You are also not being paid to read the bible when you are supposed to be answering phones and working on files.
Mrs. BSR
The faxes that come in are supposed to be treated like incoming mail, not sit there for 3 weeks untouched.
You are also not being paid to read the bible when you are supposed to be answering phones and working on files.
Mrs. BSR
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Overheard at work: "Oh, my God, Oprah's puppy died."
Socrates11
Footballguy
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
Let's just blame this Monday afternoon gaffe on Phyllis' "advanced" age...Overheard at work:
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SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
:sonovaLet's just blame this Monday afternoon gaffe on Phyllis' "advanced" age...Overheard at work:
ear Annoying Me,You forgot to pick up the binder on Monday. Way to go moron.
Regards,
Yourself
Moe Green
Footballguy
How in the frack do you fail at box numbering????Box 9 of 1Box 9 of 2Box 9 of 3...at least you got box 9 right.
sad
Walton Goggins
Footballguy
Even in an advanced age how can someone not be able to tell if a male or female calls?Let's just blame this Monday afternoon gaffe on Phyllis' "advanced" age...Overheard at work:
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
Apes with Guns
Footballguy
dear person with sprinkler ###,
not sure how you get little pockets of #### on the back and sides of the toilet bowl, but you need to see a doctor. seriously.
not sure how you get little pockets of #### on the back and sides of the toilet bowl, but you need to see a doctor. seriously.
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
LOL...no, she could tell, it was a slip of the tongue. She clearly meant to say my Mom, but for some reason said my Dad. Also, Carmella is like a 70 year old woman who can barely speak english, and my 57 year old but young sounding Mom, born in Greece and coming to Canada in 1972, speaks so well, some people don't hear her slight accent. So that was even more weird.Even in an advanced age how can someone not be able to tell if a male or female calls?Let's just blame this Monday afternoon gaffe on Phyllis' "advanced" age...Overheard at work:
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Ugly,
I shouldn't have to close my ####### door to hear my radio which is right ####### behind me because of your loud annoying mouth that won't SHUT THE #### UP!!! I can't believe you haven't broken all the windows in the office with your high pitched screeching that seems to go on and on and on and on and on....
Love,
wg
I shouldn't have to close my ####### door to hear my radio which is right ####### behind me because of your loud annoying mouth that won't SHUT THE #### UP!!! I can't believe you haven't broken all the windows in the office with your high pitched screeching that seems to go on and on and on and on and on....
Love,
wg
BoltThrower
Footballguy
www.flushyourpoo.com
CBusAlex
Footballguy
FIXED
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Dear Godzillette,
I assume you're a fortysomething virgin by the way you look, but applying enough cheap perfume that it can be smelled before the freaking elevator doors even open does not make you more attractive, and some might even say it makes the 17 floor elevator ride somewhat eye-scorchingly painful.
Never breed,
Scissors
I assume you're a fortysomething virgin by the way you look, but applying enough cheap perfume that it can be smelled before the freaking elevator doors even open does not make you more attractive, and some might even say it makes the 17 floor elevator ride somewhat eye-scorchingly painful.
Never breed,
Scissors
Wild Young Billy
A Crazy Cat
Dear loud mouthed idiot,
Move your fat ### out of my doorway and please take your loud voice and stupid conversation with the guy in the next office somewhere else. Do you have no concept of the term "inside voice"??
Quietly Yours,
WYB
Move your fat ### out of my doorway and please take your loud voice and stupid conversation with the guy in the next office somewhere else. Do you have no concept of the term "inside voice"??
Quietly Yours,
WYB
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
Top 30 Most Annoying Places to Work on FBGs*:
##. Posts / Poster01. 127 = Nigel Tufnel02. 74 = Shooter McGavin03. 73 = mr. furley04. 52 = Sack-Religious05. 40 = SuperJohn9606. 36 = Print Is Dead07. 33 = Mrs. BSR08. 32 = bakes09. 27 = General Malaise10. 24 = Keys Myaths11. 24 = Cunk12. 23 = TommyGilmore13. 23 = Running with scissors14. 23 = belljr15. 21 = Captain Quinoa16. 20 = wadegarrett17. 19 = St. Louis Bob18. 18 = perry14719. 18 = fo shizzle20. 17 = JEB21. 16 = Thorn22. 16 = TheAristocrat23. 16 = Wild Young Billy24. 14 = shuke25. 14 = eoMMan26. 13 = GroveDiesel27. 13 = SKribbles28. 12 = SeveredHorseHeads29. 12 = joffer30. 12 = McJose* Without combining scores from posters and their aliases.
##. Posts / Poster01. 127 = Nigel Tufnel02. 74 = Shooter McGavin03. 73 = mr. furley04. 52 = Sack-Religious05. 40 = SuperJohn9606. 36 = Print Is Dead07. 33 = Mrs. BSR08. 32 = bakes09. 27 = General Malaise10. 24 = Keys Myaths11. 24 = Cunk12. 23 = TommyGilmore13. 23 = Running with scissors14. 23 = belljr15. 21 = Captain Quinoa16. 20 = wadegarrett17. 19 = St. Louis Bob18. 18 = perry14719. 18 = fo shizzle20. 17 = JEB21. 16 = Thorn22. 16 = TheAristocrat23. 16 = Wild Young Billy24. 14 = shuke25. 14 = eoMMan26. 13 = GroveDiesel27. 13 = SKribbles28. 12 = SeveredHorseHeads29. 12 = joffer30. 12 = McJose* Without combining scores from posters and their aliases.
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mr. furley
Footballguy
was just about to add something here but SJ's post derailed me
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
You're just trying to pull ahead of me, guy. Nice attempt.
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
Poor Nigel Tufnel. His workplace is as annoying as #2 and #4 combined!
Apollo
Smeagol alias
I wonder how many in the Top 30 really work at home, alone.
mr. furley
Footballguy
You're just trying to pull ahead of me, guy. Nice attempt.
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
I assure you, my workplace is exactly as described. At the moment, two idiots are doing a conference call at extremely high volume at one lady's desk, and earlier today, I was treated to some highlights of the four topics that the crazy(est) lady in my room talks about -- Weight watchers, and her grandkids. Apparently there was no time to discuss the price of jicama at local stores or the fact that she's from California. Kill me.
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
The insane part for me is that I love my job, but most of my coworkers are nuts.And as much as I complain, it's like have courtside seats to a reality show based on The Office.
Cunk
Footballguy
Hey coworker next door. Why don't you just mind your own business and stop staring at my monitors when you walk by. And Joan, I can't believe you went to Harvard. You seem like such an idiot. A nice idiot though. Sandy, please stop running down the hall to see your buddy, my neighbor. I dread that thumping coming up and down the hall.
Also Jeremy, the IT guy. Um, the small plug in your ear lobe and the earring in the mid-part of your ear just ain't workin'.
Also Jeremy, the IT guy. Um, the small plug in your ear lobe and the earring in the mid-part of your ear just ain't workin'.
Alias
Footballguy
This reminds me when I was a co-op student working for IBM. They had just hired this Indian guy that had his PhD in CS (might have been EE-CS at the time). His manager asked him to put this card into the PC, he takes the card like so:___DownsideThis reminds me of a time when I first started at my current company, some dude was there forever and I was new.Anyway I built something in one of our clients (real basic cbl program :X ) that we took part of the code and put into another program for it run. Worked great, everyone happy. A week later Manager and guy have a meeting with me, can I send the code to the guy, he wants to put it in a client that he works on ( it was requested).
Me: Sure no problem, all you have to do is take this snippet of code and put it in program X. You don't have to do anything special but compile the program.
Him: Great thanks.
About 1-2 weeks go by and my manager comes to me. Can you look at "guys" code, he said it's not working.
me: sure, no problem.
I look at the code and I have no idea WTF he did. He said I tried to do A, B, C to make it do this, that and the other thing.
me: Oh, they wanted it changed?
guy: No, I just wanted to code it in there.
me: All you had to do was copy and paste my email.
guy: It didn't work
me: Takes code, copies it program, compile, runs fine.
guy:
Me: Should be good to go.
guy: Thanks...
Manager took me out to lunch
Left[...............]Right
___Upside
and tries to put it into the PC with the pins sticking UP. His boss tells him, no. You want to put it in the other way, so then he tries to put the card in like this:
___Downside
Right[...............]Left
___Upside
STILL upside down
bakes
I am the Beer God!
Dear Ms. Incompetentpoliticalhackleftoverfromthepreviousadministration:Thank you for sending us this email:
I have three comments:1. Might I suggest you trade in your petticoat and sporty Locomobile roadster and enter the 21st century, where these documents are generally sent via email? 2. Did you notice the dates in the above email, and consider that a good portion of the people who work here will be out of the office during Easter school break and possibly away from their homes, unable to receive let alone submit this form?3. Did you notice that we are in a fiscal crisis? Because if you did, you maybe would have reconsidered spending countless thousands of dollars that we don't have in postage (see point #1).Hoping your name appears at the top of the layoff list,Me.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Hey Water Buffalo, No really, I was serious.YIC, Scissors
HERBERT THE HIPPO
REAL Ultimate Power
Dear ugly fat disgusting woman (i think),
If I walk by your desk one more time and see you picking your enormous Fred Flintstone feet and then smelling your fingers I am going to stick my foot so far up your ###, your colon is going to come out of your ######......
If I walk by your desk one more time and see you picking your enormous Fred Flintstone feet and then smelling your fingers I am going to stick my foot so far up your ###, your colon is going to come out of your ######......
Capn Crunch
Footballguy
Checking for Cheetos?what the mother f..........
HERBERT THE HIPPO
REAL Ultimate Power
Good afternoon annoying *******,
I know you're a fan of the Rays, but if you put one more effin' bobblehead on your desk I'm gonna take that foam finger you
have on top of your cabinet shove it down your throat and make you choke to death on your own vomit.
I know you're a fan of the Rays, but if you put one more effin' bobblehead on your desk I'm gonna take that foam finger you
have on top of your cabinet shove it down your throat and make you choke to death on your own vomit.
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HERBERT THE HIPPO
REAL Ultimate Power
Hey there #######,
I know it was a bit chilly this morning but that puffy ski jacket you wore makes you look like a real effin chooch. It's now 75 degrees this afternoon, did you forget that you live in Florida you big doooooosh......
I know it was a bit chilly this morning but that puffy ski jacket you wore makes you look like a real effin chooch. It's now 75 degrees this afternoon, did you forget that you live in Florida you big doooooosh......
HERBERT THE HIPPO
REAL Ultimate Power
Have a great evening Ms. You probably looked pretty decent 30 years ago but now you look like a frying pan head,
Stop wearing low cut blouses, as much as I love breasts I don't want to see those spongy saggy blobs of fat peeking out at me.
Stop wearing low cut blouses, as much as I love breasts I don't want to see those spongy saggy blobs of fat peeking out at me.
HERBERT THE HIPPO
REAL Ultimate Power
Good morning Ms. "I lost some weight so now I think I look hot",
First off, major props on losing a nice chunk of weight. The problem here is that going from the size of a Sumatran elephant to the size of a Tibetan yak is good but it doesn't give you the right to wear tight fitting clothes. All of that excess loose hanging fat stuffed into a tight skirt makes you look like the Michelin man. Oh and one more thing sweetie, losing weight doesn't hide the ugly.
Sincerely,
HTH
First off, major props on losing a nice chunk of weight. The problem here is that going from the size of a Sumatran elephant to the size of a Tibetan yak is good but it doesn't give you the right to wear tight fitting clothes. All of that excess loose hanging fat stuffed into a tight skirt makes you look like the Michelin man. Oh and one more thing sweetie, losing weight doesn't hide the ugly.
Sincerely,
HTH
HoldSteady
Footballguy
You're killing me, moron.
Secretary: ...so then we wouldn't want them to be rewriting the wheel.
HS: Reinventing
Secretary: Reinventing what?
HS: The wheel.
Secretary: What are you talking about?
HS: I think you meant 'reinventing the wheel.'
Secretary: No, I said what I meant. Weren't you listening?
HS: Carry on.
Secretary: ...so then we wouldn't want them to be rewriting the wheel.
HS: Reinventing
Secretary: Reinventing what?
HS: The wheel.
Secretary: What are you talking about?
HS: I think you meant 'reinventing the wheel.'
Secretary: No, I said what I meant. Weren't you listening?
HS: Carry on.
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Winning IS Everything
Footballguy
This is a post from my co-workers sitting around me addressed to me:
Hey dumb###, stop laughing so ####### loud at all of Herbert the Hippos posts from today and yesterday. We are trying to either sleep or get work done...........
Hey dumb###, stop laughing so ####### loud at all of Herbert the Hippos posts from today and yesterday. We are trying to either sleep or get work done...........
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HERBERT THE HIPPO
REAL Ultimate Power
BoltThrower
Footballguy
In fairness, I (Captain Q) don't work at the place that spawned most of my posts anymore. And it wasn't as bad after the most annoying guy was found dead in his house.
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
Note: I work 10 minutes outside Toronto...
Bendy (on the phone): Hey John, are we on the West Coast or the East Coast?
SJ96:
Bendy:
SJ96: OMG, you're serious?
Bendy: Yes, c'mon, I'm on the phone...
SJ96: Oh, sorry, well, some people think Arizona is on the West Coast, but it's not. It's in the Western US, but not actually on the coast.
Bendy: You're not helping.
SJ96: We're on the West Coast.
Bendy (to the person on the phone): "We're on the West Coast."
SJ96: :teehee:
Bendy (on the phone): Hey John, are we on the West Coast or the East Coast?
SJ96:
Bendy:
SJ96: OMG, you're serious?
Bendy: Yes, c'mon, I'm on the phone...
SJ96: Oh, sorry, well, some people think Arizona is on the West Coast, but it's not. It's in the Western US, but not actually on the coast.
Bendy: You're not helping.
SJ96: We're on the West Coast.
Bendy (to the person on the phone): "We're on the West Coast."
SJ96: :teehee:
pyite76
Footballguy
Dear Old Bitty Teacher-lady from the class next door:
Why the frick do you stand over my computer and watch me send emails? Have you no sense?
Also, to my extra fat kid: SHOWER.
And to my Amazon-lady teacher next door on the other side... Can you please clean your amateur spackle job from the toilet after you go? thanks.
Why the frick do you stand over my computer and watch me send emails? Have you no sense?
Also, to my extra fat kid: SHOWER.
And to my Amazon-lady teacher next door on the other side... Can you please clean your amateur spackle job from the toilet after you go? thanks.
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
Dearest nutjob,
Most people, if someone was holding meetings and conference calls at their desk and it was becoming a distraction, would privately take the person aside and politely ask them to try to find a conference room, or somewhere a bit more appropriate for such activities. But I think your approach of a 5-minute tirade for all to hear about how, "I can't take this #### anymore," and, "It's driving me nuts", is much more appropriate in a business environment. Never mind that the rest of the people in the room deal with far more interruptions and distractions from your loud conversations about your grandkids, Weight Watchers, and the occasional screaming matches you have on the phone with your mother and siblings.
Now the poor socially awkward woman you screamed at will probably off herself tonight. But hey, no more disturbances, right?
Sorry if our snickering over here interrupted your flow,
SM
Most people, if someone was holding meetings and conference calls at their desk and it was becoming a distraction, would privately take the person aside and politely ask them to try to find a conference room, or somewhere a bit more appropriate for such activities. But I think your approach of a 5-minute tirade for all to hear about how, "I can't take this #### anymore," and, "It's driving me nuts", is much more appropriate in a business environment. Never mind that the rest of the people in the room deal with far more interruptions and distractions from your loud conversations about your grandkids, Weight Watchers, and the occasional screaming matches you have on the phone with your mother and siblings.
Now the poor socially awkward woman you screamed at will probably off herself tonight. But hey, no more disturbances, right?
Sorry if our snickering over here interrupted your flow,
SM
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