What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

A note to my coworker ... (5 Viewers)

SuperJohn96 said:
I'm gonna be a killjoy here.A woman who works in one of our offices in another city is going through chemo, and everyone in the store had their head shaved to match her look.Her desk is near the front counter, so she can see everyone, and a wife of one of the salespeople is a hair stylist, so she came in the back and everyone secretly took turns going and getting their head shaved.About 4 or 5 people in, she finally looks up, and is completely :shuked: and then :hot:Good for them.
Click to expand...
why not get shaved too? just tell her you decided to show your support by grooming your junk:lol:
 
I just went in the bathroom and the smell about knocked me down but i have had 3 cups of coffee and a big project due soon so I didn't want to come back. You and I flushed at the same time and while i was getting myself all situated you flew out the door. I don't care that you had to #### at work, it happens to everyone sometimes. Wash your fing hands. It won't be awkward...I won't even make eye contact. The one time i didn't look at the shoes too.

SuperJohn, that story choked me up a bit. So sweet.

 
Dear coworker:

1. Obama is not the antichrist.

2. Drudge report is not the best way to get your news.

3. Evolution is not a disguised attack on Christianity.

4. Global warming is happening and is not a conspiracy to institute a larger leftist socialist government in the US.

5. The above listed ideas do not sound anymore rational if they are repeated every morning.

Perry

 
perry147 said:
Dear coworker: 1. Obama is not the antichrist. 2. Drudge report is not the best way to get your news. 3. Evolution is not a disguised attack on Christianity. 4. Global warming is happening and is not a conspiracy to institute a larger leftist socialist government in the US. 5. The above listed ideas do not sound anymore rational if they are repeated every morning.Perry
Click to expand...
you work with Jim11?
 
chet said:
SuperJohn96 said:
I'm gonna be a killjoy here.

A woman who works in one of our offices in another city is going through chemo, and everyone in the store had their head shaved to match her look.

Her desk is near the front counter, so she can see everyone, and a wife of one of the salespeople is a hair stylist, so she came in the back and everyone secretly took turns going and getting their head shaved.

About 4 or 5 people in, she finally looks up, and is completely :shuked: and then :hifive:

Good for them.
Click to expand...
why not get shaved too? just tell her you decided to show your support by grooming your junk :own3d:
Click to expand...
TMI AlertMrs. SJ96 already took care of my holiday trim* a few weeks ago.

I suppose I could this lady I did it in advance, but that'd be weird.

* FYI...a Holiday Trim does not = bald.

 
jamyp said:
I just went in the bathroom and the smell about knocked me down but i have had 3 cups of coffee and a big project due soon so I didn't want to come back. You and I flushed at the same time and while i was getting myself all situated you flew out the door. I don't care that you had to #### at work, it happens to everyone sometimes. Wash your fing hands. It won't be awkward...I won't even make eye contact. The one time i didn't look at the shoes too.

SuperJohn, that story choked me up a bit. So sweet.
Click to expand...
Not me. I have never shat in any public restroom in my entire life. The only thing close would be the bathrooms at the dorms in college.
 
jamyp said:
I just went in the bathroom and the smell about knocked me down but i have had 3 cups of coffee and a big project due soon so I didn't want to come back. You and I flushed at the same time and while i was getting myself all situated you flew out the door. I don't care that you had to #### at work, it happens to everyone sometimes. Wash your fing hands. It won't be awkward...I won't even make eye contact. The one time i didn't look at the shoes too.SuperJohn, that story choked me up a bit. So sweet.
Click to expand...
I never feel awkward dropping a deuce at work. Not even when I stop up the toilet, which is often. :thumbup:
 
flapgreen said:
jamyp said:
I just went in the bathroom and the smell about knocked me down but i have had 3 cups of coffee and a big project due soon so I didn't want to come back. You and I flushed at the same time and while i was getting myself all situated you flew out the door. I don't care that you had to #### at work, it happens to everyone sometimes. Wash your fing hands. It won't be awkward...I won't even make eye contact. The one time i didn't look at the shoes too.SuperJohn, that story choked me up a bit. So sweet.
Click to expand...
I never feel awkward dropping a deuce at work. Not even when I stop up the toilet, which is often. :thumbup:
Click to expand...
I'm always kind of freaked out by the guys who make it a part of their day to fire one out at work. When I was in my early 20s, I was working a job that paid hourly. One of my coworkers made it his routine to pretty much drop everything right around 9:30 (we started at 9:00), print out a couple articles from the internet to read, and head off to the bathroom. No shame whatsoever. I think part of the thrill for him was knowing that he was getting paid to honk one out.
 
Dear Middle-Management Heifer,

The fact you have somehow ascended to a position of authority in this organization despite your abrasive personality doesn't make you some sort of fashionista.

I would have thought this was obvious given you are incapable of wearing anything other than a muumuu due to your weight. Just because I wear a pair of dark sneakers with my suit doesn't mean I am breaching a dress code of 'smart casual', despite the fact these breach our 'HR guidelines'. These guidelines are obviously put in place for morons like you who would otherwise show up to work looking even more slovenly, not for those of us who know how to dress ourselves.

BTW, may be an idea to change your management style now you're no longer in charge of 12 year olds. HTH.

 
Truman said:
Dear Middle-Management Heifer,

The fact you have somehow ascended to a position of authority in this organization despite your abrasive personality doesn't make you some sort of fashionista.

I would have thought this was obvious given you are incapable of wearing anything other than a muumuu due to your weight. Just because I wear a pair of dark sneakers with my suit doesn't mean I am breaching a dress code of 'smart casual', despite the fact these breach our 'HR guidelines'. These guidelines are obviously put in place for morons like you who would otherwise show up to work looking even more slovenly, not for those of us who know how to dress ourselves.

BTW, may be an idea to change your management style now you're no longer in charge of 12 year olds. HTH.
Click to expand...
:unsure:
 
arrow1 said:
Truman said:
Dear Middle-Management Heifer,

The fact you have somehow ascended to a position of authority in this organization despite your abrasive personality doesn't make you some sort of fashionista.

I would have thought this was obvious given you are incapable of wearing anything other than a muumuu due to your weight. Just because I wear a pair of dark sneakers with my suit doesn't mean I am breaching a dress code of 'smart casual', despite the fact these breach our 'HR guidelines'. These guidelines are obviously put in place for morons like you who would otherwise show up to work looking even more slovenly, not for those of us who know how to dress ourselves.

BTW, may be an idea to change your management style now you're no longer in charge of 12 year olds. HTH.
Click to expand...
:thumbup:
Click to expand...
:ph34r:
 
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
Wow, who would do that?Where the hell have you been, by the way?
 
Dear Oblivious Teacher Woman,

There is a problem with your nomination for one of the 8th grade awards. The Kappa Alpha (or whatever) award is to go to this year's outstanding student of African-American heritage. I know you were really hoping it would go to Sascha Tate but she's not black. Sorry.

Mr. Lllama

 
Reg Lllama of Brixton said:
Dear Oblivious Teacher Woman,

There is a problem with your nomination for one of the 8th grade awards. The Kappa Alpha (or whatever) award is to go to this year's outstanding student of African-American heritage. I know you were really hoping it would go to Sascha Tate but she's not black. Sorry.

Mr. Lllama
Click to expand...
this?
 
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
Wow, who would do that?Where the hell have you been, by the way?
Click to expand...
Question 1 answer: A ##### bag would do that. I still don't know who, but I'm gonna find out...Question 2 answer: I've been around, here and there. Real life has distracted me somewhat, but I appreciate that someone remembers me.
 
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
A reasonable company should let employees leave early every once in a while as long as it's cleared in advance and doesn't cause undue hardship. You left early without getting this cleared? If one of my employees did this their job would be in jeopardy. Rightly so, IMO.
 
Juxtatarot said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
A reasonable company should let employees leave early every once in a while as long as it's cleared in advance and doesn't cause undue hardship. You left early without getting this cleared? If one of my employees did this their job would be in jeopardy. Rightly so, IMO.
Click to expand...
I left early twice, once to take my 2 older boys to the dentist, and the other to take my daughter to kindergarten screening. Both times, I told my direct report that I was leaving early. My direct report is not my manager.I also worked through lunch every day that week to more than make up for it. The ##### bag who reported me is just that, a ##### bag. Anonymously reporting a coworker when you don't know the facts is bull####.
 
Teumessian Fox said:
Juxtatarot said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
A reasonable company should let employees leave early every once in a while as long as it's cleared in advance and doesn't cause undue hardship. You left early without getting this cleared? If one of my employees did this their job would be in jeopardy. Rightly so, IMO.
Click to expand...
I left early twice, once to take my 2 older boys to the dentist, and the other to take my daughter to kindergarten screening. Both times, I told my direct report that I was leaving early. My direct report is not my manager.I also worked through lunch every day that week to more than make up for it. The ##### bag who reported me is just that, a ##### bag. Anonymously reporting a coworker when you don't know the facts is bull####.
Click to expand...
Agreed!
 
Teumessian Fox said:
Juxtatarot said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
A reasonable company should let employees leave early every once in a while as long as it's cleared in advance and doesn't cause undue hardship. You left early without getting this cleared? If one of my employees did this their job would be in jeopardy. Rightly so, IMO.
Click to expand...
I left early twice, once to take my 2 older boys to the dentist, and the other to take my daughter to kindergarten screening. Both times, I told my direct report that I was leaving early. My direct report is not my manager.I also worked through lunch every day that week to more than make up for it. The ##### bag who reported me is just that, a ##### bag. Anonymously reporting a coworker when you don't know the facts is bull####.
Click to expand...
Wouldn't the coworker get in trouble when the manager discovered that you were authorized to leave early?
 
This isn't really venting, but an apology.

I didn't know you were standing behind me early yesterday morning when I was filling up my water bottle, felt a little tummy rumbling, and decided to let one slide.

It didn't smell, but it certainly was a little akward when I turned around and you were standing right behind me. I'm not used to people here as early as I am.

I apologize.

 
Kendall said:
This isn't really venting, but an apology.I didn't know you were standing behind me early yesterday morning when I was filling up my water bottle, felt a little tummy rumbling, and decided to let one slide. It didn't smell, but it certainly was a little akward when I turned around and you were standing right behind me. I'm not used to people here as early as I am.I apologize.
Click to expand...
Oops, fart.
 
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
Do you use IM at your office? Any chance the boss caught you red handed? If you told your direct report, when your boss said something, didn't you tell him/her that you cleared it with so-and-so?
 
Dear New Guy:

I understand that English is your second language and are trying your best to communicate, and appreciate that. But what's with the random clicking? You're halfway through a sentence and if you can't think of the work you make this damnable clicking noise. At least once every sentence. It's like being in a meeting with an old 8-track player that's on the fritz. Stop it. Please.

Yer Capn.

 
Juxtatarot said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
A reasonable company should let employees leave early every once in a while as long as it's cleared in advance and doesn't cause undue hardship. You left early without getting this cleared? If one of my employees did this their job would be in jeopardy. Rightly so, IMO.
Click to expand...
Are your employees salary or hourly? If they are salary, having to clear it with anyone is garbage as long as they get their job done. But I guess it depends largely on the industry as well.
 
Hey new secretary,

No, I haven't done something about your e-mail that you sent yesterday afternoon. It's 9:21 in the morning, and looking at my task list, I have 6 things to do before noon already that are a much higher priority than taking someone off an e-mail list. And now, I'm so pissed I have to rant here instead of getting my other stuff done. Please don't come by my office and try to strike up a 30 minute conversation. E-mail me if you'd like to follow up. Or call, so I can push the button that makes you go away.

Look, I'm grateful that you helped take this project from me. But, it's a very, very simple administrative thing now that I've set it up--and you've asked 67 questions about it (yes, I counted!). Think for yourself, please. I've spent more time on this than I ever have--and I'm not even doing it anymore.

 
Hey coworker,

You might want to turn down the volume on your computer when you open your emails. Although the entire office did get a great giggle when all the sudden we hear your computer screaming, "Hey guys! I am looking at gay porn!!" On second thought, turn it up. Turn it up loud.

Thank you,

jamyp

 
Dear budget officer,

So when I recently sent you a spreadsheet to develop and submit your operating budget for next year, that information I put in the email about the Board keeping operating budgets flat next year was pretty clear. "Flat" means "no increase." So if you're going to return your budget to me with a 25% increase, you at least might want to either (a) acknowledge that you totally ignored my message and the Board's mandate, and/or (b) apologize for the hassle you've now dumped on me.

Controller-man

 
Teumessian Fox said:
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
Wow, who would do that?Where the hell have you been, by the way?
Click to expand...
Question 1 answer: A ##### bag would do that. I still don't know who, but I'm gonna find out...Question 2 answer: I've been around, here and there. Real life has distracted me somewhat, but I appreciate that someone remembers me.
Click to expand...
Really? There's a 4-page thread titled "Where's T-Fox?" over at the three-digiter board.
 
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
Wow, who would do that?Where the hell have you been, by the way?
Click to expand...
Question 1 answer: A ##### bag would do that. I still don't know who, but I'm gonna find out...Question 2 answer: I've been around, here and there. Real life has distracted me somewhat, but I appreciate that someone remembers me.
Click to expand...
Really? There's a 4-page thread titled "Where's T-Fox?" over at the three-digiter board.
Click to expand...
Thanks. I'll check it out next time I'm there.
 
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
Wow, who would do that?Where the hell have you been, by the way?
Click to expand...
Question 1 answer: A ##### bag would do that. I still don't know who, but I'm gonna find out...Question 2 answer: I've been around, here and there. Real life has distracted me somewhat, but I appreciate that someone remembers me.
Click to expand...
Really? There's a 4-page thread titled "Where's T-Fox?" over at the three-digiter board.
Click to expand...
Mother ####er! :thumbup:
 
To the nurses I work with. I am married I know girls #### stinks. It is not necessary to dump a gallon of chlorine into the toilet to try and disguise your stink.

 
Reg Lllama of Brixton said:
Dear Oblivious Teacher Woman,There is a problem with your nomination for one of the 8th grade awards. The Kappa Alpha (or whatever) award is to go to this year's outstanding student of African-American heritage. I know you were really hoping it would go to Sascha Tate but she's not black. Sorry.Mr. Lllama
Click to expand...
Okay that's funny.
 
To the creepy guy my office-mates all believe will one day kill and cannibalize us all.

Even though it often smells like all the port-a-potties at Ozzfest on a hot summers day, I can understand that you brush your teeth in the office bathroom. What I don't get, is that after you brush your teeth, you use your toothbrush with whatever residual toothpaste is left on it to clean your travelmug that held this morning's coffee.

Thanks for that

 
Sack-Religious said:
To the creepy guy my office-mates all believe will one day kill and cannibalize us all.Even though it often smells like all the port-a-potties at Ozzfest on a hot summers day, I can understand that you brush your teeth in the office bathroom. What I don't get, is that after you brush your teeth, you use your toothbrush with whatever residual toothpaste is left on it to clean your travelmug that held this morning's coffee. Thanks for that
Click to expand...
Ewww
 
Dear Outside Salesguy

I understand you're over 70, so I'm not surprised that working the VCR that YOU brought for your presentation might be difficult for you.

But after I fixed it, I have to confess to being a bit :shuked: at your response of,

"Thanks, but me and these electronics...it's...it's....

...it's like computers to me."

Regards,

SJ96

 
To the co-worker who says "Dude, you gotta come check this out" 15x a day.

No I don't. All I "gotta" do is sit here and surf the net and do a little work when I feel like it. Leave me the **** alone, dude.

 
It should be obvious from the fact that I rolled into work at 10, walked directly into my office and shut my door that I'm painfully hungover. Leave me the hell alone.

 
Nigel Tufnel said:
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
shuke said:
Teumessian Fox said:
A note to the ##### bag who told my manager that I left work early two days last week: Go #### yourself.
Click to expand...
Wow, who would do that?Where the hell have you been, by the way?
Click to expand...
Question 1 answer: A ##### bag would do that. I still don't know who, but I'm gonna find out...Question 2 answer: I've been around, here and there. Real life has distracted me somewhat, but I appreciate that someone remembers me.
Click to expand...
Really? There's a 4-page thread titled "Where's T-Fox?" over at the three-digiter board.
Click to expand...
Mother ####er! :shrug:
Click to expand...
I have a spare 3 digit alias that I've been saving for a rainy day. You're welcome to it.
 
Sack-Religious said:
To the creepy guy my office-mates all believe will one day kill and cannibalize us all.Even though it often smells like all the port-a-potties at Ozzfest on a hot summers day, I can understand that you brush your teeth in the office bathroom. What I don't get, is that after you brush your teeth, you use your toothbrush with whatever residual toothpaste is left on it to clean your travelmug that held this morning's coffee. Thanks for that
Click to expand...
S&!# and mint smell is worse than S&!# smell alone, I've been a longtime advocate for work bathrooms dedicated to those that want to brush their teeth.
 
How come everyone is part of a "Solutions" team? I've been in this meeting for 45 minutes and i haven't heard any solutions.

I want to be on the "Problems" team. that sounds like fun.

 
Dear Loud Talker Next Door,

Since our office doors are directly next to each other in the corner, when having a meeting in your office, PLEASE CLOSE THE ####### DOOR. I have to close mine instead so as to not hear the 100db drivel escaping the office.

WYB

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
Photos (and some videos) to share from a Yosemite trip
Replies
5
Views
314
El Floppo
El Floppo
GordonGekko
What Is The Worst Part Of Your Main Job/Career That No One Ever Told You About? (2/30)
Replies
23
Views
741
MTskibum
MTskibum
GordonGekko
HYPOTHETICAL: Would You Pay An Annual Fee To Access A "Private" Subsection Of The FFA? (25/30)
Replies
0
Views
275
GordonGekko
GordonGekko

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 6 (members: 0, guests: 6)
Top