bakes
I am the Beer God!
Dear Sniffles Mahatma... AGAIN;
Did you grow up in a barn, or maybe a vacuum? Were you raised by wolves? When someone brings in bagels for breakfast, it is polite to look at them, maybe take a napkin and reach in and get the one you want. But no, you're Sniffles Mahatma, so off you go poking and grabbing and pulling each one out of the bag with your dengue-infested fingers. I managed to get to a bag that didn't have your swine flu ridden mitts all over it yet and took the bottom bagel in there. Wouldn't have mattered if it was flavored with road tar, you hadn't gotten to it yet. So then you go to that bag and pick up and put back every bagel in it, looking for a multigrain. Here's a hint, sunshine: Multigrain bagels don't have cheese on top, and picking a cheese one up, saying "What is this?" and flicking at the cheese before putting it back doesn't change that fact.
Even when I ask you, loudly, "Could you please not touch every single bagel? Use a fork or something!" you just look at me with those doleful eyes and keep right on going. Then you take the tub of cream cheese out from in front of whoever is using it, whether they're finished or not, and go to town on yours. No "are you done?" or "May I?" - you just take.
I will guarantee half of our office will be out sick on Friday because of you, you typhoid carrying jackass.
With malice aforethought,
Bakes
Did you grow up in a barn, or maybe a vacuum? Were you raised by wolves? When someone brings in bagels for breakfast, it is polite to look at them, maybe take a napkin and reach in and get the one you want. But no, you're Sniffles Mahatma, so off you go poking and grabbing and pulling each one out of the bag with your dengue-infested fingers. I managed to get to a bag that didn't have your swine flu ridden mitts all over it yet and took the bottom bagel in there. Wouldn't have mattered if it was flavored with road tar, you hadn't gotten to it yet. So then you go to that bag and pick up and put back every bagel in it, looking for a multigrain. Here's a hint, sunshine: Multigrain bagels don't have cheese on top, and picking a cheese one up, saying "What is this?" and flicking at the cheese before putting it back doesn't change that fact.
Even when I ask you, loudly, "Could you please not touch every single bagel? Use a fork or something!" you just look at me with those doleful eyes and keep right on going. Then you take the tub of cream cheese out from in front of whoever is using it, whether they're finished or not, and go to town on yours. No "are you done?" or "May I?" - you just take.
I will guarantee half of our office will be out sick on Friday because of you, you typhoid carrying jackass.
With malice aforethought,
Bakes
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