A note to my coworker ...

[John 14:6]

Dear co-worker across the room,

Please stop talking on the phone so loudly all the time.

And please stop saying "Soooooooooooooooooooo"!!!!!

[DevilsTrifecta]

Dear Build Engineer,

I know you feel underchallenged in your current position and that your mad skillz are not being fully utilized, but we really need to push the latest build to QA ASAP and I would appreciate it if you would finish your code. I think I understand your desire to move up in the IT world but you tend to contradict yourself and, frankly, you're not the best communicator.

Thanks,

Person who actually works around here

P.S. Your University of Phoenix information packet arrived. It's in the mailroom.

[Anonymous Internet User]

Dear boss,

Go home. You stay here from 9AM until 9PM everyday, including weekends and minor holidays. I know you hate your family and have no hobbies whatsoever, but I don't like feeling pressured to be like you and when you call my cell phone multiple times each day at increasingly ridiculous hours, it starts to drive a man crazy.

--All-work-and-no-play employee

[Sack-Religious]

Dear Build Engineer,I know you feel underchallenged in your current position and that your mad skillz are not being fully utilized, but we really need to push the latest build to QA ASAP and I would appreciate it if you would finish your code. I think I understand your desire to move up in the IT world but you tend to contradict yourself and, frankly, you're not the best communicator.Thanks,Person who actually works around hereP.S. Your University of Phoenix information packet arrived. It's in the mailroom.

good cross-pollination, here.

[GTBilly]

Dear Coworker who Stole my Coke Zero from the fridge,Burn in hell.thanks,Stu

Dear Person Whose Coke Zero I DrankPlease start bringing real Coke, Coke Zero sucks.ThankyouThe Soft Drink Bandit

[eoMMan]

Dear boss,Go home. You stay here from 9AM until 9PM everyday, including weekends and minor holidays. I know you hate your family and have no hobbies whatsoever, but I don't like feeling pressured to be like you and when you call my cell phone multiple times each day at increasingly ridiculous hours, it starts to drive a man crazy.--All-work-and-no-play employee

On that note, I have a work issued Blackberry. I'm an accountant. Why do I need a work phone so you can reach me whenever? Once again, I'm a ####### accountant. I don't want your phone and the responsibility of having to take everywhere in addition to my personal cell phone.

[Kendall]

Email I just sent my friend:

I feel like I'm in No Exit right now....Wednesday, February 24, 2010 8:30 AM

From: "Kendall

To: "Friend

For my last rotation I got moved into this open area where I sit with three (soon to be four) other people. There is is this socially ######ed new intern that comes over here all the time and talks. As I am typing this he has been talking for the last 26 minutes. About his girlfriend. Apparently his entire life is his girlfriend. Once, one of our coworkers, an guy a little younger than our parents and a great person to talk college basketball with, asked this kid if he ever played basketball (a reasonable inference because he does happen to be pretty tall and resonably thin). The kid said no. The guy asked about any other sports. The kid's answer, "well I played T-ball when I was younger." Kendall's head exploded. NO ####!?!?! T-BALL HUH!??1 YOU AND THE REST OF EVERY AMERICAN CHILD!!! HERE'S A HINT FOR THE FUTURE: IF SOMEONE EVER ASKS IF YOU PLAYED SPORTS JUST SAY ####### NO1!!!!!! IF YOU ANSWER T-BALL YOU PRETTY MUCH CONFIRM THAT YES, YOU ARE JUST THE GIANT ######ED BIRD THAT YOU RESEMBLE. AND FOR THE LOVE OF #### HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!!!??? HOW DID I END UP IN THIS FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS VERSION OF HELL????

[HoldSteady]

Ma'am, it's a color scanner. Not a colored scanner.

[Abraham]

For my last rotation I got moved into this open area where I sit with three (soon to be four) other people. There is is this socially ######ed new intern that comes over here all the time and talks. As I am typing this he has been talking for the last 26 minutes. About his girlfriend. Apparently his entire life is his girlfriend. Once, one of our coworkers, an guy a little younger than our parents and a great person to talk college basketball with, asked this kid if he ever played basketball (a reasonable inference because he does happen to be pretty tall and resonably thin). The kid said no. The guy asked about any other sports. The kid's answer, "well I played T-ball when I was younger." Kendall's head exploded. NO ####!?!?! T-BALL HUH!??1 YOU AND THE REST OF EVERY AMERICAN CHILD!!! HERE'S A HINT FOR THE FUTURE: IF SOMEONE EVER ASKS IF YOU PLAYED SPORTS JUST SAY ####### NO1!!!!!! IF YOU ANSWER T-BALL YOU PRETTY MUCH CONFIRM THAT YES, YOU ARE JUST THE GIANT ######ED BIRD THAT YOU RESEMBLE. AND FOR THE LOVE OF #### HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!!!??? HOW DID I END UP IN THIS FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS VERSION OF HELL????

I didn't play T-Ball. Instead of T-ball and machine pitch, my Dad took my brother and i in to the backyard and we worked on actual baseball skills (pitching, hitting, throwing, catching, fielding) while all of our friends were part of the TBall/MachinePitch circus. And when I got to 3rd grade and actually could play baseball, I was a lot better at it then all of them.

[Copeman]

To my hot co-worker: Stop wearing shirts where I can see your cleavage and slacks so tight when you bend a certain way in your chair I can see your crack. I am running out of ideas for work-related questions I can come over and ask you about, all with the intention of sneaking a peek. I'm not getting much work done.

You know what, screw it. Please keep wearing that stuff.

Edited February 24, 2010 by Copeman

[SuperJohn96]

For my last rotation I got moved into this open area where I sit with three (soon to be four) other people. There is is this socially ######ed new intern that comes over here all the time and talks. As I am typing this he has been talking for the last 26 minutes. About his girlfriend. Apparently his entire life is his girlfriend. Once, one of our coworkers, an guy a little younger than our parents and a great person to talk college basketball with, asked this kid if he ever played basketball (a reasonable inference because he does happen to be pretty tall and resonably thin). The kid said no. The guy asked about any other sports. The kid's answer, "well I played T-ball when I was younger." Kendall's head exploded. NO ####!?!?! T-BALL HUH!??1 YOU AND THE REST OF EVERY AMERICAN CHILD!!! HERE'S A HINT FOR THE FUTURE: IF SOMEONE EVER ASKS IF YOU PLAYED SPORTS JUST SAY ####### NO1!!!!!! IF YOU ANSWER T-BALL YOU PRETTY MUCH CONFIRM THAT YES, YOU ARE JUST THE GIANT ######ED BIRD THAT YOU RESEMBLE. AND FOR THE LOVE OF #### HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!!!??? HOW DID I END UP IN THIS FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS VERSION OF HELL????

I didn't play T-Ball. Instead of T-ball and machine pitch, my Dad took my brother and i in to the backyard and we worked on actual baseball skills (pitching, hitting, throwing, catching, fielding) while all of our friends were part of the TBall/MachinePitch circus. And when I got to 3rd grade and actually could play baseball, I was a lot better at it then all of them.

This explains LOTS.

[kupcho1]

Ma'am, it's a color scanner. Not a colored scanner.

And on that note, manufacture is pronounced man you fak chur, not man uh fak chur. If it was just one person here I could take it. But for the love of Vishnu, there must have been a fairly highly placed executive with a speech impediment or an inability to pronounce the word, that caused this bastardized pronunciation to propagate (a word where the middle syllable actually does sound like "uh" btw) throughout the company.

[belljr]

For my last rotation I got moved into this open area where I sit with three (soon to be four) other people. There is is this socially ######ed new intern that comes over here all the time and talks. As I am typing this he has been talking for the last 26 minutes. About his girlfriend. Apparently his entire life is his girlfriend. Once, one of our coworkers, an guy a little younger than our parents and a great person to talk college basketball with, asked this kid if he ever played basketball (a reasonable inference because he does happen to be pretty tall and resonably thin). The kid said no. The guy asked about any other sports. The kid's answer, "well I played T-ball when I was younger." Kendall's head exploded. NO ####!?!?! T-BALL HUH!??1 YOU AND THE REST OF EVERY AMERICAN CHILD!!! HERE'S A HINT FOR THE FUTURE: IF SOMEONE EVER ASKS IF YOU PLAYED SPORTS JUST SAY ####### NO1!!!!!! IF YOU ANSWER T-BALL YOU PRETTY MUCH CONFIRM THAT YES, YOU ARE JUST THE GIANT ######ED BIRD THAT YOU RESEMBLE. AND FOR THE LOVE OF #### HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!!!??? HOW DID I END UP IN THIS FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS VERSION OF HELL????

I didn't play T-Ball. Instead of T-ball and machine pitch, my Dad took my brother and i in to the backyard and we worked on actual baseball skills (pitching, hitting, throwing, catching, fielding) while all of our friends were part of the TBall/MachinePitch circus. And when I got to 3rd grade and actually could play baseball, I was a lot better at it then all of them.

We didn't even have t-ball/machine pitch/coach pitch here until I was out of LL. We couldn't start until you were 7 or 8 Edited February 24, 2010 by belljr

[Kendall]

For my last rotation I got moved into this open area where I sit with three (soon to be four) other people. There is is this socially ######ed new intern that comes over here all the time and talks. As I am typing this he has been talking for the last 26 minutes. About his girlfriend. Apparently his entire life is his girlfriend. Once, one of our coworkers, an guy a little younger than our parents and a great person to talk college basketball with, asked this kid if he ever played basketball (a reasonable inference because he does happen to be pretty tall and resonably thin). The kid said no. The guy asked about any other sports. The kid's answer, "well I played T-ball when I was younger." Kendall's head exploded. NO ####!?!?! T-BALL HUH!??1 YOU AND THE REST OF EVERY AMERICAN CHILD!!! HERE'S A HINT FOR THE FUTURE: IF SOMEONE EVER ASKS IF YOU PLAYED SPORTS JUST SAY ####### NO1!!!!!! IF YOU ANSWER T-BALL YOU PRETTY MUCH CONFIRM THAT YES, YOU ARE JUST THE GIANT ######ED BIRD THAT YOU RESEMBLE. AND FOR THE LOVE OF #### HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!!!??? HOW DID I END UP IN THIS FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS VERSION OF HELL????

I didn't play T-Ball. Instead of T-ball and machine pitch, my Dad took my brother and i in to the backyard and we worked on actual baseball skills (pitching, hitting, throwing, catching, fielding) while all of our friends were part of the TBall/MachinePitch circus. And when I got to 3rd grade and actually could play baseball, I was a lot better at it then all of them.

Point is, T-Ball doesn't count as played a sport.

[St. Louis Bob]

To my hot co-worker: Stop wearing shirts where I can see your cleavage and slacks so tight when you bend a certain way in your chair I can see your crack. I am running out of ideas for work-related questions I can come over and ask you about, all with the intention of sneaking a peek. I'm not getting much work done.You know what, screw it. Please keep wearing that stuff.

pics stat

[eoMMan]

To my hot co-worker: Stop wearing shirts where I can see your cleavage and slacks so tight when you bend a certain way in your chair I can see your crack. I am running out of ideas for work-related questions I can come over and ask you about, all with the intention of sneaking a peek. I'm not getting much work done.You know what, screw it. Please keep wearing that stuff.

pics stat

And try to sneak a thong pic.......better than just bare crack, imo.

[Cawbird]

Dear co-worker in the next row,

It's bad enough that we have to hear you walk to the kitchen area 100 times per day because you walk heavier than a 400 pound gorilla with your high heels, but do you have to always show everyone what you ate for lunch because you continue to let your plate or dish sit right in the sink?????

Um.......this is not your private kitchen, so please turn on the faucet.............use that bottle there called dish soap......wash out your plate.........and take it back to your own desk.

I am getting tired of seeing chicken pieces and rice floating in the top of your bowl in the sink every day!

Sincerely,

The one getting ready to leave you my lunch scraps at your desk so that you have something to look at like we all do.

[Dexter Manley]

Dear anonymous coworker who kept turning the volume up too load on the TV in the breakroom with FOX News blaring,

Thanks to you, other employees near the breakroom complained about the TV being too loud. So now we no longer get regular tv channels, just the company feed with stock updates, weather forecasts, and ethics bulletins.

How do I know FOX News led to the TV ban? Because another anonymous coworker left a message taped to the tv which read:

"Thanks to whoever kept changing the channel to Fox News and blaring the volume. You ruined it for everyone!"

And how come I get the feeling that the primary reason people complained about the TV being too load is because someone kept changing the channel to Fox News? No one ever complained about the TV volume the prior 5 years when CNN or MSNBC were always on. Yet some guy started changing the channel to FOX about 6 months ago, and now the tv is a big distraction.

[John 14:6]

Dear boss,

Please stop laughing at things that aren't funny. Especially when they're not even jokes!

And when you want to come talk to me in my cube, please just say something. Don't sneak in behind me until I can see your stomach out of the corner of my eye. Pretty soon I'm just going to let you stand there until you actually speak.

[Demian]

"to balance the playing fold"

[shuke]

For my last rotation I got moved into this open area where I sit with three (soon to be four) other people. There is is this socially ######ed new intern that comes over here all the time and talks. As I am typing this he has been talking for the last 26 minutes. About his girlfriend. Apparently his entire life is his girlfriend. Once, one of our coworkers, an guy a little younger than our parents and a great person to talk college basketball with, asked this kid if he ever played basketball (a reasonable inference because he does happen to be pretty tall and resonably thin). The kid said no. The guy asked about any other sports. The kid's answer, "well I played T-ball when I was younger." Kendall's head exploded. NO ####!?!?! T-BALL HUH!??1 YOU AND THE REST OF EVERY AMERICAN CHILD!!! HERE'S A HINT FOR THE FUTURE: IF SOMEONE EVER ASKS IF YOU PLAYED SPORTS JUST SAY ####### NO1!!!!!! IF YOU ANSWER T-BALL YOU PRETTY MUCH CONFIRM THAT YES, YOU ARE JUST THE GIANT ######ED BIRD THAT YOU RESEMBLE. AND FOR THE LOVE OF #### HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!!!??? HOW DID I END UP IN THIS FRENCH PLAYWRIGHTS VERSION OF HELL????

I didn't play T-Ball. Instead of T-ball and machine pitch, my Dad took my brother and i in to the backyard and we worked on actual baseball skills (pitching, hitting, throwing, catching, fielding) while all of our friends were part of the TBall/MachinePitch circus. And when I got to 3rd grade and actually could play baseball, I was a lot better at it then all of them.

Yes, look at you.

[Teumessian Fox]

I didn't play T-Ball. Instead of T-ball and machine pitch, my Dad took my brother and i in to the backyard and we worked on actual baseball skills (pitching, hitting, throwing, catching, fielding) while all of our friends were part of the TBall/MachinePitch circus. And when I got to 3rd grade and actually could play baseball, I was a lot better at it then all of them.

Yes, look at you.

[bakes]

Dear Generous One:

Thank you kindly for putting several boxes of Royal brand Strawberry Gelatin and a box of JellO brand pistachio pudding in the kitchen area on top of a sign saying "FREE FREE FREE." Given that the expiration date on the pistachio pudding is October 1998, I assume that the food poisoning is also complimentary.

Thanks,

I.L. Pass.

[GreatLakesMike]

Dear Generous One:Thank you kindly for putting several boxes of Royal brand Strawberry Gelatin and a box of JellO brand pistachio pudding in the kitchen area on top of a sign saying "FREE FREE FREE." Given that the expiration date on the pistachio pudding is October 1998, I assume that the food poisoning is also complimentary.Thanks,I.L. Pass.

I'll take the Spuds MacKenzie 12 pack. Thanks

[arrow1]

Jello is like Twinkies-no expiration date...

[joffer]

Dear sniffling, sneezing, weezing, phlem-hocking, germ-spreading, lung-hacking, used tissue maker two cubes down.

go home.

TIA

[John 14:6]

Dear boss,Please stop laughing at things that aren't funny. Especially when they're not even jokes!

If you wouldn't laugh in the first place, you wouldn't have to keep saying, "Sorry I'm laughing." Hearing that phrase several times in every meeting gets to be a bit much...

[GloryDaze]

I don't know what I did to make you think I would care to hear about what your kids are doing in preschool, but I'd like to undo it. Enjoy talking to the back of my head.

[Dexter Manley]

Not me, but my buddy who's a pharmaceutical rep.

He's standing in a doctor's office talking to someone and here's what he overheard some lady around the corner yelling at his work:

"You better be nice to me today!!!"

Slight pause.

"Dammit!!!1! I told you to be nice to me!!!!!1!!!"

Curiosity gets the best of him and he peeks around the corner only to see a 500 lb lady standing on a scale. Followed by....

"I gained all the weight back!!!! How did this happen??!!!>!>"

[dino259]

Dear Boss,

You are really, really, really annoying and I just don't like you. Get to the point already, think things through and give me at least a hint of what you are talking about and maybe make a little noise when you walk. Now go away and let me work.

Yours Truly,

Dino

[Sack-Religious]

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady

Well princess, you're at it again, aren't you?

I heard from a very reliable source that you left very early yesterday afternoon. Did you have an appointment? Was one of your dogs family members sick?

No, your manager was in a meeting and upon returning to her desk, she found a note from you saying "Gone Home - Frustrated"

I didn't know our electronic leave system had a code for "leave caused by frustration"

I'm glad you're sending these nonsensical emails and leaving these notes explaining your otherwise unexplainable absences, they're giving your new manager a whole lot of necessary documentation that should ultimately let you spend more time with your family dogs.

The countdown is on...

[St. Louis Bob]

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady

Well princess, you're at it again, aren't you?

I heard from a very reliable source that you left very early yesterday afternoon. Did you have an appointment? Was one of your dogs family members sick?

No, your manager was in a meeting and upon returning to her desk, she found a note from you saying "Gone Home - Frustrated"

I didn't know our electronic leave system had a code for "leave caused by frustration"

I'm glad you're sending these nonsensical emails and leaving these notes explaining your otherwise unexplainable absences, they're giving your new manager a whole lot of necessary documentation that should ultimately let you spend more time with your family dogs.

The countdown is on...

:lmao:

[Johnny Rock]

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady

Well princess, you're at it again, aren't you?

I heard from a very reliable source that you left very early yesterday afternoon. Did you have an appointment? Was one of your dogs family members sick?

No, your manager was in a meeting and upon returning to her desk, she found a note from you saying "Gone Home - Frustrated"

I didn't know our electronic leave system had a code for "leave caused by frustration"

I'm glad you're sending these nonsensical emails and leaving these notes explaining your otherwise unexplainable absences, they're giving your new manager a whole lot of necessary documentation that should ultimately let you spend more time with your family dogs.

The countdown is on...

Please tell us she was fired for this.

[kupcho1]

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady

Well princess, you're at it again, aren't you?

I heard from a very reliable source that you left very early yesterday afternoon. Did you have an appointment? Was one of your dogs family members sick?

No, your manager was in a meeting and upon returning to her desk, she found a note from you saying "Gone Home - Frustrated"

I didn't know our electronic leave system had a code for "leave caused by frustration"

I'm glad you're sending these nonsensical emails and leaving these notes explaining your otherwise unexplainable absences, they're giving your new manager a whole lot of necessary documentation that should ultimately let you spend more time with your family dogs.

The countdown is on...

She'd come back in the next day to a note from me:

Fired - Frustrated

[Sack-Religious]

Please tell us she was fired for this.

I wish it were that easy. By my understanding it's hard to fire gov't employees, but all this stuff is being documented and filed away for future use. Hopefully to remove her from the public service.

[Dexter Manley]

Dear former co-worker, hypochondriac, crazy lady

Well princess, you're at it again, aren't you?

I heard from a very reliable source that you left very early yesterday afternoon. Did you have an appointment? Was one of your dogs family members sick?

No, your manager was in a meeting and upon returning to her desk, she found a note from you saying "Gone Home - Frustrated"

I didn't know our electronic leave system had a code for "leave caused by frustration"

I'm glad you're sending these nonsensical emails and leaving these notes explaining your otherwise unexplainable absences, they're giving your new manager a whole lot of necessary documentation that should ultimately let you spend more time with your family dogs.

The countdown is on...

And I thought the guy at my work was bad who would leave work in a huff whenever his pc did it's monthly backup reboot after lunch (which only takes 15 - 20 minutes).

[bosoxs45]

dear cbs,

That rendition of one shining moment with Jennifer Hudson was terrible.I will send you to get luther vandross' version back.

thanks,

bosoxs

[GloryDaze]

dear cbs,That rendition of one shining moment with Jennifer Hudson was terrible.I will send you to get luther vandross' version back.thanks,bosoxs

Jennifer Hudson is your coworker?

[kupcho1]

dear cbs,That rendition of one shining moment with Jennifer Hudson was terrible.I will send you to get luther vandross' version back.thanks,bosoxs

You're not doing it right.

[GTBilly]

Dear In Deep ####e Installer Who Is In A Timeout Due To Poor Craftsmanship

Please note that you are doing Make Work duties in the warehouse. You cannot impress the boss while working in the warehouse, in fact the less you make your presence known the better. Please don't explain to me what you are doing and why you are doing it because I don't give a flying @#@@. If you really knew wth you were doing YOU WOULDN'T BE TILING UNDERNEATH THE RACKING IN THE WAREHOUSE.

Thankyou For Listening

[kupcho1]

Dear guy that greets me with "There he is!":

Stop. Stop now and please don't ever do this again.

Are we participating in some team-building game of hide-and-seek I wasn't aware of? Or are you hunting me at someone else's behest? Because I can't figure out why you seem so surprised to see me in the bathroom (which is somewhat disconcerting) each time.

TIA

[Wooderson]

Man - Do you what to see some pictures of kittens?

Women - Sure

Man - They are premature

Women - Why?

Man - Cause they came early..

[gmbacm]

dear cbs,That rendition of one shining moment with Jennifer Hudson was terrible.I will send you to get luther vandross' version back.thanks,bosoxs

Jennifer Hudson is your coworker?

no - cbs is his coworker.

[Disco Stu]

Dear crazy guy with huge hairs sprouting from his face mole,

Please never change your ringtone. It shakes up an otherwise monotonous weekly meeting everytime it rings.

With much respect & admiration,

Stu

ps. Please also never adjust your ringtone volume. The current setting of 11 seems to be ideal.

[HoldSteady]

Dear crazy guy with huge hairs sprouting from his face mole,

Please never change your ringtone. It shakes up an otherwise monotonous weekly meeting everytime it rings.

With much respect & admiration,

Stu

ps. Please also never adjust your ringtone volume. The current setting of 11 seems to be ideal.

:lmao:

Unreal.

[SuperJohn96]

Dear guy that greets me with "There he is!":Stop. Stop now and please don't ever do this again. Are we participating in some team-building game of hide-and-seek I wasn't aware of? Or are you hunting me at someone else's behest? Because I can't figure out why you seem so surprised to see me in the bathroom (which is somewhat disconcerting) each time. TIA

You need to make fun of him by copying him or even better, beating him to it.Just make sure you let someone else in on the joke and you can have a good laugh over this fool.CW: There he is!kupcho1: No no...there YOU are!

[Jobber]

Dear crazy guy with huge hairs sprouting from his face mole,

Please never change your ringtone. It shakes up an otherwise monotonous weekly meeting everytime it rings.

With much respect & admiration,

Stu

ps. Please also never adjust your ringtone volume. The current setting of 11 seems to be ideal.

Class C Doosh: You go out and get a ringtone like this, or any song for that matter, and put it on your phone.

Class B Doosh: You purposely allow your phone to ring longer than it has to so others can "enjoy" your tone and think you're super cool and/or witty.

Class A Doosh: Fulfilling the C and B requirements and on top of that jacking up your volume.

[wadegarrett]

Dear guy that greets me with "There he is!":

Stop. Stop now and please don't ever do this again.

Are we participating in some team-building game of hide-and-seek I wasn't aware of? Or are you hunting me at someone else's behest? Because I can't figure out why you seem so surprised to see me in the bathroom (which is somewhat disconcerting) each time.

TIA

[SuperJohn96]

Dear crazy guy with huge hairs sprouting from his face mole,

Please never change your ringtone. It shakes up an otherwise monotonous weekly meeting everytime it rings.

With much respect & admiration,

Stu

ps. Please also never adjust your ringtone volume. The current setting of 11 seems to be ideal.

Class C Doosh: You go out and get a ringtone like this, or any song for that matter, and put it on your phone.

Class B Doosh: You purposely allow your phone to ring longer than it has to so others can "enjoy" your tone and think you're super cool and/or witty.

Class A Doosh: Fulfilling the C and B requirements and on top of that jacking up your volume.

DiscoStu (DS): So let's move on to our next topic of discussion....

Phone: "Never made it as a wise man."

DS:

Class A Doosh (CAD): [Grins, and ever so slighty bobs his head to the music/]

Phone: "I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing"

DS: Um...

Phone: "Tired of living like a blind man"

DS: Is that really necessary?

Phone: "I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling"

CAD: Wait, this is the best part.

DS: We really don't have-

Phone/CAD: "And this is how you remind me"

DS: -time for this

Phone/CAD: "This is how you remind me"

DS: Please just turn off your phone.

Phone: "Of what I really am"

CAD: Nickelback is the BEST!

DS: Listen, you need to turn that off.

Phone: "This is how you remind me"

CAD: It was this or BEP's "Boom Boom Pow"

DS: I really don't c-

Phone: "Of what I really am"

CAD: BEP stands for Black Eyed Peas. That Fergie is so hot.

DS: Remind me to beat your ### after this meeting.

[belljr]

Dear cube neighbor in the other row,

Pick up the ### #### handset, I don't need to hear every metting and your phone messages.

If that is difficult then buy a headset!!

Sincerely,

Cube buddy