A note to my coworker ...

[CBusAlex]

No, I would not like "sweets from India" - they taste like #### and I'm pretty sure they will make me shoot liquid out my ###.

But thanks for thinking of me.

OMFG... I get AT LEAST one email a week re: sweets from India.

If I ever feel the need to induce liqui####s, there's a greasy Mexican joint down the road that has failed their last several health inspections. I'd prefer to go out that way...

"Sweets from India"? What century is this, again?

[Bourbon Cowboy]

Dear former colleague who is approximately half my age and who would be consistently rude by hollering across the office to any one of numerous other co-workers, rather than walking over to speak with them in an indoor voice, and who would also be consistently rude by taking up far to much of the hallway when I was trying to pass in the opposite direction, so that I would have to perform acrobatic maneuvers so that *I* would not be rude by bumping into you: I'm sorry that you got arrested for selling computers you stole from work, but now we all know how you were able to afford the big RV on your meager salary. Sincerely hope you enjoy your stay at the state correctional facility.

All The Best,

--BC

Do you work in Albequerque? Does this former co-worker have a last name of White, Heisenberg, or Pinkman? If so then you should preface any post with a *spoiler* tags,

No spoiler alert. I live in Vermont.

But I should add a p.s. Dear former colleague - thanks for all the extra work now that all computers that get swapped out go through serial number checks by three separate individuals with assorted checks & balances via multiple paperwork documentation and database entries to account for everything just because you are a thieving #####. Well done.

Sincerely,

--BC

[Davej626]

I should have found this thread four years ago. This is some funny *hit.....

Dear Mr Magoo next cube over:

1. When you are done with your nap, please stop calling HR and asking them when your retirement day is. Take the figure from yesterday and remove one. Done.

2. Next, please stop calling the various banks and asking them for your balances. I'm sure they will blacklist at any moment.

3. Finally, please try to remember important dates. Calling the city hall where you were married and not being able to remember the year that is was must have frustrated the person on the other end immensely.

4. Stop with the Frackin personal phone calls that make the rest of us in here have to listen to! We don't care about your personal doctor's appts, your third nephew's birthday party, your fiddle class show that you want to attend, your acting classes or your recent appearance, your social security issues or your trip to europe. Just #### and DIE ALREADY!!!

whew...yea, I'm fine. That's been building since, ah Monday?

[Gawain]

Dear former colleague who is approximately half my age and who would be consistently rude by hollering across the office to any one of numerous other co-workers, rather than walking over to speak with them in an indoor voice, and who would also be consistently rude by taking up far to much of the hallway when I was trying to pass in the opposite direction, so that I would have to perform acrobatic maneuvers so that *I* would not be rude by bumping into you: I'm sorry that you got arrested for selling computers you stole from work, but now we all know how you were able to afford the big RV on your meager salary. Sincerely hope you enjoy your stay at the state correctional facility.

All The Best,

--BC

Do you work in Albequerque? Does this former co-worker have a last name of White, Heisenberg, or Pinkman? If so then you should preface any post with a *spoiler* tags,

No spoiler alert. I live in Vermont.

But I should add a p.s. Dear former colleague - thanks for all the extra work now that all computers that get swapped out go through serial number checks by three separate individuals with assorted checks & balances via multiple paperwork documentation and database entries to account for everything just because you are a thieving #####. Well done.

Sincerely,

--BC

So you're saying your company has an opening for a Loss Prevention Specialist? Next time one of those clowns tries to check my receipt at Home Depot, I'll send em your way.

[kentric]

When comparing various things please make sure there is relevance in you comparison. You indicate that you experience more pain from a broken leg than child birth (as a mother of two who gave birth naturally). When you were asked when you broke your leg you said never. In fact, you've never broken a bone. Please understand why we're all rolling on the ground laughing at your statement.

[SeaDogStat]

Dear AP,

When I ask for a copy of a 6 month old invoice three times please don't staple it to the back of a newer invoice for the same company and just put it in the stack so you can try and cover your butt and lie say I gave it to you the first time you asked for it.

1. Why would you staple it to another invoice?

2. Why wouldn't you reply prior to this that it was in my stack?

3. Why do all of your emails have to be in all caps?

I'm convinced people with the mental capacity of a pre-schooler feel most comfortable writing with crayons.

What would you think about a coworker who capitalizes the first letter every word in an email? That's gotta be a little on the crazy scale...but not so crazy as the one who would capitalize a random letter in each word...

[Apes with Guns]

I'm glad you are chewing sugarless gum to help your breath. But do you have to pop it every 30 seconds? Is that a technique for killing dragon breath? Mostly, it just makes you a jerk.

And to the "directors" and above...thanks for putting a team of analysts, who's job is to analyze, next to a team of people who talk on the phone. I think it really helps their concentration. I know it helps me, because i have to listen to music all day to drown them out.

[McGarnicle]

Actual instant message conversation. I have no idea how someone advances in the business world being barely literate like this. Just painful.

Idiot(11:16:54 AM): guidance the Cameri Italy circuit is flapping and they are referring this back to Other Idiot the OM we have a targeted retest for Monday 5/5 is there a technical resources can assist with the flapping BGP is there ckt just unstable, love your logo

McGarnicle(11:17:26 AM): hi Idiot

McGarnicle(11:17:33 AM): so was there a scheduled test & turn up?

Idiot(11:18:19 AM): according to the ITMC and Other Idiot for E3 no scheduleed TTU allowed only Int'l Ethernet

Idiot(11:18:38 AM): Sending you the email from Other Idiot cc Smart Boss just as FYI

McGarnicle(11:20:02 AM): hmm

McGarnicle(11:20:10 AM): I thought we still did TTU for high speed

Idiot(11:20:22 AM): I thought that was fishy

McGarnicle(11:20:34 AM): if that is the case, customer should call DTAC as per the TID letter

McGarnicle(11:20:45 AM): DTAC will help them test, then refer to CTS if necessary

Idiot(11:22:58 AM):
Test and Turn Up Center is available from 6 AM EST to 10 PM EST during working days (MO-FR). If you need any assistance during off hours, please schedule 5 business days in advance with your Order Manager.
• US or Canada: 1-800-EAT-####

Idiot(11:23:23 AM): off the TTU sent by Other Idiot on 4/28

McGarnicle(11:23:35 AM): yes

Idiot(11:24:20 AM): we ask to corrdinate ie schedule advise not allow on E3

McGarnicle(11:24:48 AM): ?

Idiot(11:25:00 AM): per Other Idiot

Idiot(11:26:21 AM): I did not talk to him the SDM did and ITMC referred us back to OM again so looking for guidance LM is chopping at the bit to get this circuit but it must be stable ie no flapping.. that is the rub now

McGarnicle(11:26:36 AM): okay I see there is already a CTS ticket on this. I will reply to your mail

[kupcho1]

No Im not gonna change the format of the template to 3 decimal places to save you time. It took you longer to write out that whole email asking me to do so then it did to change a # from 2 to 3 decimal places in Excel.

This has to be a joke, right?

Probably not. I had a customer call and ask me if I could give her the same spreadsheet but sorted on Name rather than Social. I told her she could just sort it herself, tried to walk her though it. In the end, I sorted the spreadsheet by name and sent it to her again. It was just that much less painful than talking to her anymore.

I get the same types of requests. I had a client email me asking to remove 5 rows in a spreadsheet because it didn't go with her presentation. I offered the same advice of walking her through how to manage a spreadsheet, but she wasn't getting it.

I think the correct approach would be to tell the person asking for the simple change that it is impossible. That, or just send everything as a pdf since they don't seem mentally capable of changing anything on their own.

[ghostguy123]

My explanation of this event won't do it justice, but here goes........

I am in an 8 hour computer class for a new program at work (in a hospital, lady next to me is like 60 years old, Registered Nurse). About 2-3 hours into the class she raises her hand and asks a question. She asks the guy leading the class "how did you get to that screen" or some ####. They guy goes back and does it again. She still has no idea.

Finally he comes over to her and realizes she is on some screen that only God knows how she got there. After a minute he recognizes where she is, and tells her to "scroll down".........................apparently "scroll down" must have been the most complicated thing ever for her. She starts moving the mouse around all over the desk in a manner that can only be described at "chaotic flustered". After about 15 second of this the guy says "just scroll down"...................she then looks at him, looks back at the monitor and I #### you not she takes the mouse in her hand and puts the ### #### mouse ON THE ACTUAL MONITOR and starts moving the mouse up and down, somehow expecting this to magically make the screen move.

I just got up out of my seat and took a self appointed break out in the hallway.

A couple questions immediately came to my mind.

1- How in the hell did she get like 2-3 hours into the class and finally decided to ask a question, even though it was clear at this point she had not followed one thing so far.

2- How in the hell can this person take care of actual sick people.

then after I got back into the class a few minutes later she says to me, "you would think I would have learned that the first time I took this class. I just felt like I needed to retake it"........................................oh.............my..................god............................................this lady had already sat through an 8 hour class. So it took her about 10-11 hours worth of sitting through this class and she still didn't even realize what "scroll down" meant.

Dear lady......................####### retire, please. Before you kill people.

[mr roboto]

^

[Psychopav]

And to the "directors" and above...thanks for putting a team of analysts, who's job is to analyze, next to a team of people who talk on the phone. I think it really helps their concentration. I know it helps me, because i have to listen to music all day to drown them out.

Crank this up and give it 5 minutes to get used to it. Works like a charm imo. You won't even notice people hovering waiting for you to take off your headphones lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KaOrSuWZeM

[fantasycurse42]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

[Henry Ford]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My explanation of this event won't do it justice, but here goes........

I am in an 8 hour computer class for a new program at work (in a hospital, lady next to me is like 60 years old, Registered Nurse). About 2-3 hours into the class she raises her hand and asks a question. She asks the guy leading the class "how did you get to that screen" or some ####. They guy goes back and does it again. She still has no idea.

Finally he comes over to her and realizes she is on some screen that only God knows how she got there. After a minute he recognizes where she is, and tells her to "scroll down".........................apparently "scroll down" must have been the most complicated thing ever for her. She starts moving the mouse around all over the desk in a manner that can only be described at "chaotic flustered". After about 15 second of this the guy says "just scroll down"...................she then looks at him, looks back at the monitor and I #### you not she takes the mouse in her hand and puts the ### #### mouse ON THE ACTUAL MONITOR and starts moving the mouse up and down, somehow expecting this to magically make the screen move.

I just got up out of my seat and took a self appointed break out in the hallway.

A couple questions immediately came to my mind.

1- How in the hell did she get like 2-3 hours into the class and finally decided to ask a question, even though it was clear at this point she had not followed one thing so far.

2- How in the hell can this person take care of actual sick people.

then after I got back into the class a few minutes later she says to me, "you would think I would have learned that the first time I took this class. I just felt like I needed to retake it"........................................oh.............my..................god............................................this lady had already sat through an 8 hour class. So it took her about 10-11 hours worth of sitting through this class and she still didn't even realize what "scroll down" meant.

Dear lady......................####### retire, please. Before you kill people.

JFC

[roadkill1292]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

[fantasycurse42]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

To be fair, the team I work on will do well into 8 figures of revenue this quarter... The other accounts with booked revenue for this particular item are yielding at a higher percentage. This still doesn't make losing this revenue acceptable, just because the margin is slightly lower, it is still highly profitable... They have just decided not to put resources here. The fact that I have to solicit this information instead of it being brought to me is beyond ridiculous.

[Gr00vus]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

[TheIronSheik]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

If I've said it once, I've said it most likely a couple of times: The world would be better off without math.

[Henry Ford]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

They're booked at $400K. Collected revenue will be $35K. What is 400-35?

[fantasycurse42]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

A client has issued a purchase order for $400k. We will only deliver (if it stays how it is going) $35k (give or take)... So $365k (over $350k) might be left on the table bc resources will be focused elsewhere.

Bottom line - Lazy & stupid ####### my #### up.

[fantasycurse42]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

They're booked at $400K. Collected revenue will be $35K. What is 400-35?

Exactly

Edited May 13, 2014 by fantasycurse42

[Gr00vus]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

They're booked at $400K. Collected revenue will be $35K. What is 400-35?

It's 365, but they don't say collected - they say "worth" which implies to me they don't think they'll get more than $35K out of the client total, regardless of what they're booked for. So it looks like they've decided it's not worth the effort.

[fantasycurse42]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

They're booked at $400K. Collected revenue will be $35K. What is 400-35?

It's 365, but they don't say collected - they say "worth" which implies to me they don't think they'll get more than $35K out of the client total, regardless of what they're booked for. So it looks like they've decided it's not worth the effort.

No, the order is issued and we can legally recognize the $400k... They are leaving it as is which will make its worth a total of $35k. If they put some effort here, we could recognize most if not all of it.

ETA: They also suggest that I recommend shifting this purchase into other items. This just shows the disconnect between our operations/client services and sales directors. They really have no idea what we are doing. I've had to escalate this & now have to have a 1-1 with our VP tomorrow. FML

Edited May 13, 2014 by fantasycurse42

[Gr00vus]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

They're booked at $400K. Collected revenue will be $35K. What is 400-35?

It's 365, but they don't say collected - they say "worth" which implies to me they don't think they'll get more than $35K out of the client total, regardless of what they're booked for. So it looks like they've decided it's not worth the effort.

No, the order is issued and we can legally recognize the $400k... They are leaving it as is which will make its worth a total of $35k. If they put some effort here, we could recognize most if not all of it.

ETA: They also suggest that I recommend shifting this purchase into other items. This just shows the disconnect between our operations/client services and sales directors. They really have no idea what we are doing. I've had to escalate this & now have to have a 1-1 with our VP tomorrow. FML

Now that you've explained if further it does indeed sound like a major communication failure. They didn't give you any justification for writing it off?

[fantasycurse42]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

They're booked at $400K. Collected revenue will be $35K. What is 400-35?

It's 365, but they don't say collected - they say "worth" which implies to me they don't think they'll get more than $35K out of the client total, regardless of what they're booked for. So it looks like they've decided it's not worth the effort.

No, the order is issued and we can legally recognize the $400k... They are leaving it as is which will make its worth a total of $35k. If they put some effort here, we could recognize most if not all of it.

ETA: They also suggest that I recommend shifting this purchase into other items. This just shows the disconnect between our operations/client services and sales directors. They really have no idea what we are doing. I've had to escalate this & now have to have a 1-1 with our VP tomorrow. FML

Now that you've explained if further it does indeed sound like a major communication failure. They didn't give you any justification for writing it off?

Lower priority due to slightly lower margin... However, if they would actually sit down, think, & spend a few minutes, they can prob figure out a way to recognize revenue from all of these clients. Now it gets funneled up the ladder and turns into a #### storm.

[shadyridr]

Need to vent...

FC: Hey checking in on how xyz client is doing?

Team of Idiots: Oh, not good... They are performing below 6 other partners and are low on the priority list... They will only be worth $35k of $400k booked revenue.

FC:

Team of Idiots: We were going to discuss this at our mid-month meeting

FC: so leaving over $350k of revenue on the table, no big deal? Not worth mentioning earlier? I need to approach you all for this information

Team of Idiots:

FC:

Now I have to deal with my client who will first then followed by and leave me

I'm trying to decipher this - your business has $365,000 in booked revenue that they won't be collecting because... they're not a priority to your business?

The way it's written, it seems the "idiots" are saying this client is only worth $35K. Then FC says $350K. Then you throw $365K out there.

hey fantasycurse, is thIs one of the idiots you work with?

[fantasycurse42]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

[Henry Ford]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

[Tabasco Red]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

I have a client that does a screen shot of the application, prints it out, scans it in as a pdf, then attaches the pdf to an email and sends it to me. He's done it twice...

[Socrates11]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

I have a client that does a screen shot of the application, prints it out, scans it in as a pdf, then attaches the pdf to an email and sends it to me. He's done it twice...

[Henry Ford]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

I have a client that does a screen shot of the application, prints it out, scans it in as a pdf, then attaches the pdf to an email and sends it to me. He's done it twice...

That's a special client. Hold onto that one.

[mr roboto]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

I have a client that does a screen shot of the application, prints it out, scans it in as a pdf, then attaches the pdf to an email and sends it to me. He's done it twice...

So he has a printer but can't print a document?

[Bob Loblaw]

Sorry if honda:

Hey, how's it going?

Oh, it's Friday...

[fantasycurse42]

pics of the nice boobs?

[arrow1]

[TheAristocrat]

pics of the nice boobs?

If I asked, she would probably show me. I am starting to learn my lesson about the trouble nice boobs can get me into.

Well...we're waiting.

[Henry Ford]

pics of the nice boobs?

If I asked, she would probably show me. I am starting to learn my lesson about the trouble nice boobs can get me into.

Well...we're waiting.

Sorry, she just left to take her kids to get their shots. When she asked why men are so hard to get along with and complained that her husband couldn't take her kids for their shots is when I decided to post.

Translation: I'm a failure at the internet.

"I know, right? You'd think a guy who gets a good look at those sweater puppies every day would take your kids to get their shots. I would."

Then just wait for her response.

*Obviously, I will not be representing you in any resulting sexual harassment suit.

Edited July 9, 2014 by Henry Ford

[TheIronSheik]

pics of the nice boobs?

If I asked, she would probably show me. I am starting to learn my lesson about the trouble nice boobs can get me into.

I bet you regret getting them now, don't you?

[Gianni Verscotchie]

pics of the nice boobs?

If I asked, she would probably show me. I am starting to learn my lesson about the trouble nice boobs can get me into.

What do YOU know?

[Johnny Rock]

Dear coworker, I'm very sorry you have to answer the phone, but I'm pretty sure that is part of your receptionist duties. I know you are trying to make a statement by not making coffee in the morning. Doesn't really matter to me. I get to the office 30 minutes before you, and can start the coffee myself if I want some. Just don't complain if I don't make the coffee the way you like it.

I'm proud of you for quitting smoking, and I'm sorry you have gained weight because of it. It might help if you didn't scarf down the majority of "treats" that get brought into the office. There are 12 other people in this office, so I believe you eating 3/4 of an item might be taking a little more than your share.

It is tough that the 3 different baby-daddies of your kids don't support them, but please don't complain to me about your husband that took in you and the 3 kids. I'm sure you don't make his life easy. I just found out you receive government assistance which is understandable with your 3 kids. What I don't understand is why you feel the need to have 7 large dogs, 4 horses, and a $2500 bird. I know you live on the farm and have the space, but they can't be cheap to feed. Oh, you're having another $2500 dog flown in? Sounds marvelous. You can't convince your husband to buy a boat? What is his problem?

I do share some of the blame. I should have never pretended to listen to you when you first started working here. Nice boobs have the affect on me.

I was right on board with despising this co-worker through the whole diatribe, example after example. I had your back. Then with the 'nice boobs' comment I had to reconsider whether she's a problem at all.

[The Big Guy]

Dear new guy in my office. Please GTFO of my office and stop asking me every single thing without the least bit of effort in looking things up yourself. Believe it or not I have my own work to do and I guess my turning away from you and typing on the computer is not subtle enough

[joffer]

Dear dog,

Isn't working at home awesome?

[Keerock]

Please learn the correct pronunciation of the word CONSOLE.

It's NOT pronounced COUNSEL

[Johnny Rock]

Dear coworker, I'm very sorry you have to answer the phone, but I'm pretty sure that is part of your receptionist duties. I know you are trying to make a statement by not making coffee in the morning. Doesn't really matter to me. I get to the office 30 minutes before you, and can start the coffee myself if I want some. Just don't complain if I don't make the coffee the way you like it.

I'm proud of you for quitting smoking, and I'm sorry you have gained weight because of it. It might help if you didn't scarf down the majority of "treats" that get brought into the office. There are 12 other people in this office, so I believe you eating 3/4 of an item might be taking a little more than your share.

It is tough that the 3 different baby-daddies of your kids don't support them, but please don't complain to me about your husband that took in you and the 3 kids. I'm sure you don't make his life easy. I just found out you receive government assistance which is understandable with your 3 kids. What I don't understand is why you feel the need to have 7 large dogs, 4 horses, and a $2500 bird. I know you live on the farm and have the space, but they can't be cheap to feed. Oh, you're having another $2500 dog flown in? Sounds marvelous. You can't convince your husband to buy a boat? What is his problem?

I do share some of the blame. I should have never pretended to listen to you when you first started working here. Nice boobs have the affect on me.

I was right on board with despising this co-worker through the whole diatribe, example after example. I had your back. Then with the 'nice boobs' comment I had to reconsider whether she's a problem at all.

Can you unpack that? Although she does have nice boobs, it was a joke.

I was joking too. I was unsympathetic to the crap she was pulling but then you mentioned nice boobs at the end and it threw me off. Edited July 22, 2014 by johnnyrock62000

[fantasycurse42]

To the person using our very fine restroom facilities and not flushing the toilet:

I will catch you one day, I will shove your face in that toilet bowl, I will make you drown in your own #### which you so graciously refuse to flush... I will then report you to HR who will refer this to the police bc you are dirty disgusting POS (pun intended), and they will make up a new charge just for you, you filthy ####### animal!

[rodg12]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

I have a client that does a screen shot of the application, prints it out, scans it in as a pdf, then attaches the pdf to an email and sends it to me. He's done it twice...

Had a user late last year take a picture of his computer screen with his cell phone, emailed the pic to himself, then attached the pic to an email to me.

[TxBuckeye]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

I have a client that does a screen shot of the application, prints it out, scans it in as a pdf, then attaches the pdf to an email and sends it to me. He's done it twice...

Had a user late last year take a picture of his computer screen with his cell phone, emailed the pic to himself, then attached the pic to an email to me.

I think I'm going to need a Venn Diagram of that one.

[fantasycurse42]

To the person using our very fine restroom facilities and not flushing the toilet:

I will catch you one day, I will shove your face in that toilet bowl, I will make you drown in your own #### which you so graciously refuse to flush... I will then report you to HR who will refer this to the police bc you are dirty disgusting POS (pun intended), and they will make up a new charge just for you, you filthy ####### animal!

####### animals!!!

http://i.imgur.com/jBaRj9j.jpg

and these toilets have a strong flush, THEY DON'T CLOG!!!

4 stalls, only 15 dudes to this bathroom, I'll find out who is responsible for this

[Osaurus]

A note to some of my clients:

You ####### idiots!!!

I believe we may have some clients in common.

I have a client that does a screen shot of the application, prints it out, scans it in as a pdf, then attaches the pdf to an email and sends it to me. He's done it twice...

Had a user late last year take a picture of his computer screen with his cell phone, emailed the pic to himself, then attached the pic to an email to me.

Was it xzibit?