And from "The Sandlot"
Ham Porter: Hey, Smalls, you wanna s'more?
Smalls: I haven't had anything.
Ham Porter: No, do you wanna s'more!
Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Ham Porter: You're killing me Smalls!
****
[the Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face]
Phillips: It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!
Ham Porter: What'd you say, crap face?
Phillips: You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Ham Porter: Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Ham Porter: Watch it, jerk!
Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
Ham Porter: Moron!
Phillips: Scab eater!
Ham Porter: Butt sniffer!
Phillips: Pus licker!
Ham Porter: Fart smeller!
Bertram: [sniffs] Ahh.
Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
Ham Porter: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
Ham Porter: You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!
[entire group stands in shocked silence]
Phillips: What did you say?
Ham Porter: You heard me.
Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Ham Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
****
Ham Porter: PLAY BALL! Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch.
[Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing]
Ham Porter: Haha, that's one.
[cuts to new pitch]
Ham Porter: [to the batter] You know, if my dog was as ugly as you. I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.
[cuts to new pitch]
Ham Porter: Here it comes, it's coming, I tell ya. STRIKE THREE
[Porter puts the batter off, he swings and misses]
Ham Porter: YOU'RE OUT!
[cuts to new pitch]
Ham Porter: Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked?
Little League Punk #2: [swings and misses again] SHUT UP PORTER!
Ham Porter: Hey, hey, hey, I'm just trying to start a friendly conversation, come on.
Ham Porter: [two seconds later] Think she'll go out with me?
All that, plus
WENDY PEFFERCORN!