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Favorite baseball movie quotes (1 Viewer)

Verbal Kint

Footballguy
Pop: You know, my mother told me I should be a farmer.

Hobbs: My dad wanted me to be a baseball player.

Hobbs: Go pick me out a winner Bobby.

 
Baseball is better than life, because it's fair. You hit a sacrifice fly and it doesn't count against your average.

--Gil Renard, The Fan

 
Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.
 
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Baseball movie list

Mine is from Cobb:

Louis Prima: With all the great players playing ball right now, how well do you think you would do against today's pitchers?

Ty Cobb: Well, I figure against today's pitchers I'd only probably hit about .290

Louis Prima: .290? Well that's amazing, because you batted over .400 a... a whole bunch of times. Now tell us all, we'd all like to know, why do you think you'd only hit .290?

Ty Cobb: Well, I'm 72 ####### years old you ignorant son of a #####.

 
Larry: Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?

Crash Davis: Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster?

[Jose nods]

Crash Davis: . We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present.

[to the players]

Crash Davis: Is that about right?

[the players nod]

Crash Davis: We're dealing with a lot of ####.

Larry: Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em

 
The rose goes in the front, big guy.

Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!

Larry: Lollygaggers!

Skip: Lollygaggers.

Larry: Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?

Crash Davis: Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster?

[Jose nods]

Crash Davis: . We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present.

[to the players]

Crash Davis: Is that about right?

[the players nod]

Crash Davis: We're dealing with a lot of ####.

Larry: Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em.

Crash Davis: Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: [to himself] What's this guy know about pitching? If he's so good how come he's been in the minors for the last ten years? If he's so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?

Crash Davis: Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don't know ####, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you'll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let's have some fun out here! This game's fun, OK? Fun #######it. And don't hold the ball so hard, OK? It's an egg. Hold it like an egg.

 
(old school, queue the violins)

Gehrig: Is it three strikes, Doc?

Doc: You want it straight?

Gehrig: Yeah.

Doc: It's three strikes.

 
"The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and what could be again." - James Earl Jones in Field of Dreams (1989)
Ray Kinsella: Don't we need a catcher?

Shoeless Joe Jackson: Not if you get it near the plate we don't.
Archie Graham: Hey ump, how 'bout a warning?

Clean-shaven Umpire: Sure, kid. Watch out you don't get killed.
Ray Kinsella: I'm pitching to Shoeless Joe Jackson...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ray Kinsella: See if you can hit my curve.

[shoeless Joe lines the next pitch back through the box, knocking Ray off the mound]

Ray Kinsella: Yeah. Yeah, you can hit the curve ball.
"Do you know what we get to do today Brooks? We get to play baseball." - Jim Morris (Dennis Quaid) in The Rookie (2002)
Yeah...I kind of like "Field of Dreams".
 
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Bat boy: Get a hit, Crash!

Crash Davis:Shut up!... :fishing:

There's even good ones in A League of Their Own:

Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?

Evelyn Gardner: Well, I'm a Peach.

Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ###.

[Evelyn starts to cry]

Jimmy Dugan: Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

Doris Murphy: Why don't you give her a break, Jimmy...

Jimmy Dugan: Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pig####. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry?

Evelyn Gardner: No, no, no.

Jimmy Dugan: NO. NO. And do you know why?

Evelyn Gardner: No...

Jimmy Dugan: Because there's no crying in baseball. THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!

Umpire: Is there a problem?

Jimmy Dugan: She's crying sir!

Umpire: Perhaps you chastised her too vehemently. Good rule of thumb: treat each of these girls as you would treat your mother.

Jimmy Dugan: Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with that little hat on?

****

Kid: What's your rush, dollbody? What do you say we slip in the back seat, and make a man out of me?

Dottie Hinson: What do you say I smack you around for a while?

Kid: Can't we do both?

****

Jimmy Dugan: All right, everyone, let's listen up now, listen up. Hey! I don't know what that kid is doing, but get him away from the tape! Stilwell Something important has just happened. I was in the toilet reading my contract, and it turns out, I get a bonus when we get to the World Series. So, let's play hard, let's play smart, use your heads.

Doris Murphy: [quoting him] That's that lump three feet above our ###, right, Jimmy?

[laughter]

Jimmy Dugan: Some more prominent than others, there, Doris.

****

[Jimmy has just signed a baseball for a little boy]

Little Boy: [reading] Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan.

Jimmy Dugan: Hey, that's good advice!

But the one that gets me most is...

Hey, um, Dad? Have a catch?

 
Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.
I don't think you can do any better than that. And, James Earl Jones was the perfect actor to say it.Now, for the line I use most often, "There's no crying in baseball!" (I've coached 5-8 year olds for the past 4 years.)

 
A couple from "Moonlight" Graham:

"You know we just don't recognize the most significant moments of our lives while they're happening. Back then I thought, well, there'll be other days. I didn't realize that that was the only day."

"Son, if I'd only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes... now that would have been a tragedy."

And of course the whole James Earl Jones speech. "For it's money they have -- and peace they lack." Solid.

 
And from "The Sandlot"

Ham Porter: Hey, Smalls, you wanna s'more?

Smalls: I haven't had anything.

Ham Porter: No, do you wanna s'more!

Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?

Ham Porter: You're killing me Smalls!

****

[the Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face]

Phillips: It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.

Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!

Ham Porter: What'd you say, crap face?

Phillips: You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.

Ham Porter: Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!

Sandlot Kids: Yeah!

Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.

Ham Porter: Watch it, jerk!

Phillips: Shut up, idiot!

Ham Porter: Moron!

Phillips: Scab eater!

Ham Porter: Butt sniffer!

Phillips: Pus licker!

Ham Porter: Fart smeller!

Bertram: [sniffs] Ahh.

Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!

Ham Porter: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!

Sandlot Kids: Yeah!

Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!

Ham Porter: You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!

[entire group stands in shocked silence]

Phillips: What did you say?

Ham Porter: You heard me.

Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.

Ham Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!

****

Ham Porter: PLAY BALL! Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch.

[Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing]

Ham Porter: Haha, that's one.

[cuts to new pitch]

Ham Porter: [to the batter] You know, if my dog was as ugly as you. I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.

[cuts to new pitch]

Ham Porter: Here it comes, it's coming, I tell ya. STRIKE THREE

[Porter puts the batter off, he swings and misses]

Ham Porter: YOU'RE OUT!

[cuts to new pitch]

Ham Porter: Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked?

Little League Punk #2: [swings and misses again] SHUT UP PORTER!

Ham Porter: Hey, hey, hey, I'm just trying to start a friendly conversation, come on.

Ham Porter: [two seconds later] Think she'll go out with me?

All that, plus WENDY PEFFERCORN! :rant:

 
Cobb:

Willie: Shoot, Cool Poppa Bell was so fast, one time he hit a line drive up the middle that hit himself in the head.

 
Man, this guy hits a ton. Why hasn't anyone else picked him up?

Ok Eddie, that's enough fastballs.

Nice velocity.

Sounded like it.

 
"Juuuuuuuust a bit outside"

This guy leads the league in HR, RBI and nose hairs. When he sneezes it looks like a party favor.

 
One hit! That's all we got was one ####### hit?

You can't say ####### on the radio.

I don't matter, no one is listening anyway.

 
And from "The Sandlot"
Underrated movie - I always like watching it.
Very underrated movie. My 7 (almost 8) year old son is almost a dead ringer for Squints, minus the glasses. During the summer, I kid with him about the female lifeguards at the pool, asking if one of them is Wendy Peffercorn.
Nice.Plus, you have a James Earl Jones crossover from Field Of Dreams. And Denis Leary is pretty good as the dickish father-in-law.

 
Nice.

Plus, you have a James Earl Jones crossover from Field Of Dreams. And Denis Leary is pretty good as the dickish father-in-law.
I dunno about Denis Leary as the stepdad. He's gotta be 5-10 years younger than Karen Allen, who played his mother, and it wasn't much of a part, except for the scene where she pressures him to stop working so he can teach Smalls how to play catch.Also, there's a kid in my son's boy's club that's such a fan of the movie his dad calls him 'Smalls'. When my son's team faces his this year, I'm going to get all the kids on our team to yell "You're killin' me Smalls!" whenever he gets a hit or makes a good play against us.

 
Cecil "Stud" Cantrell: Kid... let me tell you one of lifes great truths. All girls ####.

Jamie Weeks: Yeah, but this one's real religious...

Cecil "Stud" Cantrell: When I said all girls, I meant *all girls*.

---------------------

Cecil "Stud" Cantrell: Boys, let me show you how to be a hero.

 
Chick Gandil: You go back to Boston and turn seventy grand at the drop of a hat? I find that hard to believe.

Sport Sullivan: You say you can find seven men on the best club that ever took the field willin' to throw the World Series? I find *that* hard to believe.

Chick Gandil: You never played for Charlie Comiskey.

 
Durham Manager Mac: Jimmy, I just got off the phone with the big club. They're calling up Brooks.

Jimmy: That's great. He won't be back.

Durham Manager Mac: He respects you, and I think you ought to be the one to tell him. Being that you're going, too...

 
Crash "Man, that sucker got outta here in a hurry. I mean, that ball traveled so far it ought to have a stewardess on it."

Nuke "It looked like he knew what was coming"

Crash "He did..I told him"

That's probably not exact but that was the funniest exchange in the move IMO

 
"God, I just love baseball." - Robert Redford in The Natural

"A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while." - Bull Durham

 
Lots of League Of Their Own haters here, but I don't mind it, and like this scene:

Jimmy Dugan: ####, Dottie, if you want to go back to Oregon and make a hundred babies, great, I'm in no position to tell anyone how to live. But sneaking out like this, quitting, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Baseball is what gets inside you. It's what lights you up, you can't deny that.

Dottie Hinson: It just got too hard.

Jimmy Dugan: It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great

 
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This guy here is dead...

Cross him off then!!

*****

I thought we didn't have any high priced talent on this team.

Forget about Dorn, cuz he's just high priced

*****

Uh oh Rexy, I dont think this one's got the distance

 
Engelberg: You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.

Coach: So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.

 
Engelberg: You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.

Coach: So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.
"That's superb, thank you very much." I often use that line when someone hands me a drink. Most don't get the reference though. :mellow:

 
"Is that you Tolbert....jeezus...I'm hungover...if you were going to call and pull this #### at least you could have said you were from the Yankees."

"How would you like to manage the Indians?"

"I don't know, I'll have to call you back. I've got a guy about some white walls on the other line."

(deleted from the VHS/DVD version, after Clew Haywood's homer off of Ricky)

"Name one park that would have held that ball in?"

"Yellowstone."

 
I play for the Bears. Baseball. I'm hitting .720. I've got a Harley-Davidson. Does that turn you on? Harley-Davidson?
 

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