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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (1 Viewer)

Subtle difference, but I prefer "my ex". The ex makes him/her sound more notorious or something. And makes you sound like Woz. :lol:

You'll be able to switch to his name (your ex, not Woz) eventually but not on a third date. Maybe third month. Preferably later.

 
Subtle difference, but I prefer "my ex". The ex makes him/her sound more notorious or something. And makes you sound like Woz. :lol:

You'll be able to switch to his name (your ex, not Woz) eventually but not on a third date. Maybe third month. Preferably later.
Yeah, I got the ex's name 2 or 3 times on a first date last week. :thumbdown:
 
'Disco Stu said:
Subtle difference, but I prefer "my ex". The ex makes him/her sound more notorious or something. And makes you sound like Woz. :lol:

You'll be able to switch to his name (your ex, not Woz) eventually but not on a third date. Maybe third month. Preferably later.
Point taken. Guess I'm still getting use to calling him "my ex" myself.
 
'Reginald Cornsilks said:
Question for the experienced relationshippers and namely divorcees.

I'm on a third date, we're talking about travel and vacations, places we've been. I've been all across Canada, enjoyed Vancouver, we rented a boat but only ex was allowed to drive it because the cc we used was in his name, wish I'd driven it, fun day, etc.

Date tells me later he was uncomfortable with me calling my ex by name and bringing him up at all. Is this standard? I get being uncomfortable if I was bad mouthing him or whining about it all night but really? Should any ex be taboo entirely? So I shouldn't talk about the last 21 years of my life without tip toeing over names?
I agree with Uruk. Don't use his actual name. Just say "the ex". I had a girl I was dating actually use her ex husbands name all the time.

Unfortunately, for us divorced folks, being married is a big part of our life and I think it's a true sign you're over your ex when you can talk about them nonchalantly when relating it to stories or anecdotes.

Just call him "the ex" and I do think the guy you're seeing might be a bit insecure or possibly controlling if that makes him uncomfortable. Be aware for any other signs and be careful. Most of all - good luck to you :)
Me too, not interested in any whining or blame placing. It was casual and in passing.
 
I am trying to reel in a 25 year old on eharmony right now. I am 35 so I guess you could say I am trying to pull a Disco Stu here. Never tried to date someone who is that much younger than me (5 years younger has been the max) but she's good looking, is a professional (works as an aocountant) and has a lot in common with me so I figured what the heck. If it doesn't go anwywhere on to the next one. I've had lots of great options to pick from on eharmony and as Woz said many of them initiate the contact before I even have the chance to. Can't be more pleased with my experience so far - although there have certainly been some crazies - that goes with the territory when you're idating though.

 
I can't think of a single good reason to talk about your ex('s) with the person you're dating. If you're over an ex, you're not thinking about them, therefore you're not talking about them.

This is an especially huge red flag if someone brings up any ex during the first few dates.

 
I can't think of a single good reason to talk about your ex('s) with the person you're dating. If you're over an ex, you're not thinking about them, therefore you're not talking about them.This is an especially huge red flag if someone brings up any ex during the first few dates.
Ex-wife, ie the mother of my child. She's going to come up from time to time.Maybe you're thinking ex gf/bf, but the discussion here was about ex spouses.
 
I can't think of a single good reason to talk about your ex('s) with the person you're dating. If you're over an ex, you're not thinking about them, therefore you're not talking about them.This is an especially huge red flag if someone brings up any ex during the first few dates.
Ex-wife, ie the mother of my child. She's going to come up from time to time.Maybe you're thinking ex gf/bf, but the discussion here was about ex spouses.
Ok, I didn't think of that. If you have kids, it's understandable that the ex is going to come up sometimes.
 
Question for the experienced relationshippers and namely divorcees.

I'm on a third date, we're talking about travel and vacations, places we've been. I've been all across Canada, enjoyed Vancouver, we rented a boat but only ex was allowed to drive it because the cc we used was in his name, wish I'd driven it, fun day, etc.

Date tells me later he was uncomfortable with me calling my ex by name and bringing him up at all. Is this standard? I get being uncomfortable if I was bad mouthing him or whining about it all night but really? Should any ex be taboo entirely? So I shouldn't talk about the last 21 years of my life without tip toeing over names?
Run away..fast! The guy is clearly very insecure. Unless you are babbling on and on about your ex then he has a valid reason to tell you to lay off the ex talk but to never ever bring up an ex in any situation? Dude has serious insecurity issues.
 
I am trying to reel in a 25 year old on eharmony right now. I am 35 so I guess you could say I am trying to pull a Disco Stu here. Never tried to date someone who is that much younger than me (5 years younger has been the max) but she's good looking, is a professional (works as an aocountant) and has a lot in common with me so I figured what the heck. If it doesn't go anwywhere on to the next one. I've had lots of great options to pick from on eharmony and as Woz said many of them initiate the contact before I even have the chance to. Can't be more pleased with my experience so far - although there have certainly been some crazies - that goes with the territory when you're idating though.
So there seems to be confusion here regarding eharmony. If you are 40 are you not going to get linked up with women in their 20's. Can I put something to indicate that I don't want to meet up with anyone over 30 or a particular age? I don't want to take the time and pay then end up with a bunch of women in their late 30s and older.
 
I will add though that if you are referring to your ex by their name that's a little strange. I would think this person isn't over them and act accordingly. Then again I am not looking to get serious so as long as she doesn't find reasons to bring him up / chat about him I wouldn't care.

 
I must be weird. I'd find someone saying "the ex" to be about 10X as weird as just calling the dude by his name. I mean, I presume she would know him well enough to know his name.

 
Advice needed:

I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.

Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.

TIA

 
Advice needed:I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.TIA
Wait it out at least a week. If nothing then you can respond with a "Hmm, I think you should give me a chance." or something along those lines. But mostly wait it out. Pretend you're busy living your life and not eagerly awaiting for her response.
 
Advice needed:I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.TIA
Wait it out at least a week. If nothing then you can respond with a "Hmm, I think you should give me a chance." or something along those lines. But mostly wait it out. Pretend you're busy living your life and not eagerly awaiting for her response.
Solid logic...thanks for the opinion.
 
I would e-mail her back and say something like "Hope your week is going well and hope you received my e-mail the other day, if not let me know and looking forward to your reply". If you want to e-mail her today or next week that's up to you but I typically don't wait that long or if I do I then say something like "I can't remember if I replied back to your last e-mail or not, sorry I've been swamped with work and friends, write me back".

 
Advice needed:I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.TIA
I sort of agree with Dr. Awesome however I'd be considerably more witty about it to try and catch her attention.Say something like "Wow you're a shy one! Did my last email scare you away?" or "Is the background check on me taking that long? That's odd, the only thing I've ever done wrong in life is steal a candy bar from the supermarket when I was 10".I don't know - that's personally just me. She might get creeper out by the latter one I suppose but at this point, what have you got to lose?
 
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Advice needed:I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.TIA
I sort of agree with Dr. Awesome however I'd be considerably more witty about it to try and catch her attention.Say something like "Wow you're a shy one! Did my last email scare you away?" or "Is the background check on me taking that long? That's odd, the only thing I've ever done wrong in life is steal a candy bar from the supermarket when I was 10".I don't know - that's personally just me. She might get creeper out by the latter one I suppose but at this point, what have you got to lose?
I've encountered MANY girls online where their attention span is seriously worse than my 6 year old daughter. Seems like the hot ones never had to think about anything and in many cases they forget that you've e-mailed them.If you want her to reply back to you say something like this (which I sometimes use as a first e-mail or one where it stalls and she doesn't reply back)"Showed your profile to my buddy and he's convinced this has to be a fake profile written by a man since it's so short and you seem to good to be true. I don't believe him but since I haven't heard back am I going to lose $20?"When she replies you can follow it up by saying "So, since I'm now rich I think it's only fair that I buy you a few drinks since you are partially responsible for my winnings."
 
Advice needed:I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.TIA
I sort of agree with Dr. Awesome however I'd be considerably more witty about it to try and catch her attention.Say something like "Wow you're a shy one! Did my last email scare you away?" or "Is the background check on me taking that long? That's odd, the only thing I've ever done wrong in life is steal a candy bar from the supermarket when I was 10".I don't know - that's personally just me. She might get creeper out by the latter one I suppose but at this point, what have you got to lose?
Thanks, that's more my tact...just trying to weigh the risks between missing my window and coming across as desperate or pushy.
 
I've encountered MANY girls online where their attention span is seriously worse than my 6 year old daughter. Seems like the hot ones never had to think about anything and in many cases they forget that you've e-mailed them.
Tried to say it better in my OP but failed...spot on. There are so many shiny options online it can be easy to forget you forgot to respond to someone...I can only imagine how hard it is for even a semi-attractive female.Thanks for the opening idea...
 
I've encountered MANY girls online where their attention span is seriously worse than my 6 year old daughter. Seems like the hot ones never had to think about anything and in many cases they forget that you've e-mailed them.
Tried to say it better in my OP but failed...spot on. There are so many shiny options online it can be easy to forget you forgot to respond to someone...I can only imagine how hard it is for even a semi-attractive female.Thanks for the opening idea...
No problem. If you are interested in someone I can't a reason why you shouldn't follow up with her. Worst thing is she won't reply again or tell you she's not interested.
 
I've encountered MANY girls online where their attention span is seriously worse than my 6 year old daughter. Seems like the hot ones never had to think about anything and in many cases they forget that you've e-mailed them.
Tried to say it better in my OP but failed...spot on. There are so many shiny options online it can be easy to forget you forgot to respond to someone...I can only imagine how hard it is for even a semi-attractive female.Thanks for the opening idea...
It really depends what you're looking for. I used to be the type who would crack some jokes like Goggins and Reginald mentioned above. It can be very effective. I've changed over the years and that's not longer my style but there's no "one" way to approach someone. As long as you present yourself as a catch and come across as a person who loves life you will never have a shortage of interested parties. Women will constantly want to join the fun. Everybody likes to smile and have a good time. :thumbup: As far as there being shiny toys, don't let that ever stop you. It works both ways. If you present yourself as a catch they'll think the same thing. I once exchanged emails with a girl. We didn't end up getting together. Several months down the road she sent me an email saying something like "No luck yet?". She met some guy and split with him. Before we could meet she ended up bailing as she felt things were getting serious with yet another guy. A few weeks later she finally contacted me again and we met up. Think about it - most relationships/dates don't end happily ever after. So you'll get your shot at some point. Don't resign yourself to thinking this is the only chick to focus on. Start lining up loads of others. Even if it's just filler.
 
I've encountered MANY girls online where their attention span is seriously worse than my 6 year old daughter. Seems like the hot ones never had to think about anything and in many cases they forget that you've e-mailed them.
Tried to say it better in my OP but failed...spot on. There are so many shiny options online it can be easy to forget you forgot to respond to someone...I can only imagine how hard it is for even a semi-attractive female.Thanks for the opening idea...
It really depends what you're looking for. I used to be the type who would crack some jokes like Goggins and Reginald mentioned above. It can be very effective. I've changed over the years and that's not longer my style but there's no "one" way to approach someone. As long as you present yourself as a catch and come across as a person who loves life you will never have a shortage of interested parties. Women will constantly want to join the fun. Everybody likes to smile and have a good time. :thumbup: As far as there being shiny toys, don't let that ever stop you. It works both ways. If you present yourself as a catch they'll think the same thing. I once exchanged emails with a girl. We didn't end up getting together. Several months down the road she sent me an email saying something like "No luck yet?". She met some guy and split with him. Before we could meet she ended up bailing as she felt things were getting serious with yet another guy. A few weeks later she finally contacted me again and we met up. Think about it - most relationships/dates don't end happily ever after. So you'll get your shot at some point. Don't resign yourself to thinking this is the only chick to focus on. Start lining up loads of others. Even if it's just filler.
Agree completely here. Also you just need to go by what your style is because if she's attracted to it but it's not really you, you won't be able to pull it off if you guys go out. I usually go by how I feel and the type of girl it is. Read her profile and you can generally get a idea of what she's like and what she's looking for. I don't ever burn bridges if someone stops e-mailing me and like Dr. Awesome I've gotten e-mails down the road where we end up going out.Just be yourself. Be confident and it's key to show that you are busy and have a life.
 
I've encountered MANY girls online where their attention span is seriously worse than my 6 year old daughter. Seems like the hot ones never had to think about anything and in many cases they forget that you've e-mailed them.
Tried to say it better in my OP but failed...spot on. There are so many shiny options online it can be easy to forget you forgot to respond to someone...I can only imagine how hard it is for even a semi-attractive female.Thanks for the opening idea...
It really depends what you're looking for. I used to be the type who would crack some jokes like Goggins and Reginald mentioned above. It can be very effective. I've changed over the years and that's not longer my style but there's no "one" way to approach someone. As long as you present yourself as a catch and come across as a person who loves life you will never have a shortage of interested parties. Women will constantly want to join the fun. Everybody likes to smile and have a good time. :thumbup: As far as there being shiny toys, don't let that ever stop you. It works both ways. If you present yourself as a catch they'll think the same thing. I once exchanged emails with a girl. We didn't end up getting together. Several months down the road she sent me an email saying something like "No luck yet?". She met some guy and split with him. Before we could meet she ended up bailing as she felt things were getting serious with yet another guy. A few weeks later she finally contacted me again and we met up. Think about it - most relationships/dates don't end happily ever after. So you'll get your shot at some point. Don't resign yourself to thinking this is the only chick to focus on. Start lining up loads of others. Even if it's just filler.
Agree completely here. Also you just need to go by what your style is because if she's attracted to it but it's not really you, you won't be able to pull it off if you guys go out. I usually go by how I feel and the type of girl it is. Read her profile and you can generally get a idea of what she's like and what she's looking for. I don't ever burn bridges if someone stops e-mailing me and like Dr. Awesome I've gotten e-mails down the road where we end up going out.Just be yourself. Be confident and it's key to show that you are busy and have a life.
Dated a girl for 6 months under strange circumstances. I emailed her and she didn't respond.A YEAR later she found tracked me down on another dating website and sent me an email letting her know that she had been seeing someone when I emailed her and was now single and interested. turned out to be the coolest chick I've met off of one of these websites and my longest relationship since my divorce. Then she turned crazy as they all do eventually.
 
I must be weird. I'd find someone saying "the ex" to be about 10X as weird as just calling the dude by his name. I mean, I presume she would know him well enough to know his name.
This is what I thought too. I thought we were both mature adults. :shrug:Anyway, that was the end of that.
 
'Dr. Awesome said:
'jason12vb said:
Advice needed:

I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.

Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.

TIA
Wait it out at least a week. If nothing then you can respond with a "Hmm, I think you should give me a chance." or something along those lines. But mostly wait it out. Pretend you're busy living your life and not eagerly awaiting for her response.
Wow, that sounds really needy to me.Also not a fan of the "hope you received my email" or "hope I didn't scare you away" things mentioned. Of course she received it. And again needy/weak.

I'd recommend ignoring the fact that it's her "turn". Who cares? Especially if your last message didn't necessarily require a response.

As discussed at some point in this thread, I've also had success with a one word message in this type of situation...

:crickets:
 
'Dr. Awesome said:
'jason12vb said:
Advice needed:

I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.

Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.

TIA
Wait it out at least a week. If nothing then you can respond with a "Hmm, I think you should give me a chance." or something along those lines. But mostly wait it out. Pretend you're busy living your life and not eagerly awaiting for her response.
Wow, that sounds really needy to me.Also not a fan of the "hope you received my email" or "hope I didn't scare you away" things mentioned. Of course she received it. And again needy/weak.

I'd recommend ignoring the fact that it's her "turn". Who cares? Especially if your last message didn't necessarily require a response.

As discussed at some point in this thread, I've also had success with a one word message in this type of situation...

:crickets:
I see your point but I disagree. When I say it (and I have said it), I mean it in the most confident and matter of fact manner. I said exactly that. "Hmmm, I think you should give me a chance." about a week after not hearing anything. She ended up responding and we eventually went out. If she's interested you can say just about anything and she'll respond. If she's not interested it doesn't matter what you say. Guys are too clever for their own good.

I agree the "Hope you received my email..." line is terrible. There's no possible way I can think where you could say that and not make it sound needy. :shrug:

 
'Dr. Awesome said:
'jason12vb said:
Advice needed:

I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.

Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.

TIA
Wait it out at least a week. If nothing then you can respond with a "Hmm, I think you should give me a chance." or something along those lines. But mostly wait it out. Pretend you're busy living your life and not eagerly awaiting for her response.
Wow, that sounds really needy to me.Also not a fan of the "hope you received my email" or "hope I didn't scare you away" things mentioned. Of course she received it. And again needy/weak.

I'd recommend ignoring the fact that it's her "turn". Who cares? Especially if your last message didn't necessarily require a response.

As discussed at some point in this thread, I've also had success with a one word message in this type of situation...

:crickets:
I see your point but I disagree. When I say it (and I have said it), I mean it in the most confident and matter of fact manner. I said exactly that. "Hmmm, I think you should give me a chance." about a week after not hearing anything. She ended up responding and we eventually went out. If she's interested you can say just about anything and she'll respond. If she's not interested it doesn't matter what you say. Guys are too clever for their own good.

I agree the "Hope you received my email..." line is terrible. There's no possible way I can think where you could say that and not make it sound needy. :shrug:
I think if you just say that then yes you do sound needy but put into a sentence saying other things perhaps not.Something like "I've had a hectic week how was yours? Hope you received my e-mail the other day looking forward to your reply"

I've never tried :crickets: and in the cases where I have followed up I've never mentioned my prior e-mail.

In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.

ETA: Nothing needy in prior e-mails so they don't have a reason to think that you are going forward.

 
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She could simply be inundated with emails. Forget the last one, send her a new one. Start fresh and unrelated.."Hows your week going?"

 
In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.
This
What's wrong with chasing after someone who piques your interest? Don't stop emailing other women but pushing hard after a chick until there's a clear no is half the fun!
For you maybe. My goal is yes.
Good point. I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response. Looking to get laid - throw as many lines in the water as you can manage and move on if they don't immediately bite. Looking for something more - throw fewer lines and really pursue the ones you do say hi to.
 
In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.
This
What's wrong with chasing after someone who piques your interest? Don't stop emailing other women but pushing hard after a chick until there's a clear no is half the fun!
For you maybe. My goal is yes.
Good point. I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response. Looking to get laid - throw as many lines in the water as you can manage and move on if they don't immediately bite. Looking for something more - throw fewer lines and really pursue the ones you do say hi to.
I thought most guys were doing a hybrid approach.
 
In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.
This
What's wrong with chasing after someone who piques your interest? Don't stop emailing other women but pushing hard after a chick until there's a clear no is half the fun!
For you maybe. My goal is yes.
Good point. I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
I'm supposed to memorize all of your responses in the thread now?
 
In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.
This
What's wrong with chasing after someone who piques your interest? Don't stop emailing other women but pushing hard after a chick until there's a clear no is half the fun!
For you maybe. My goal is yes.
Good point. I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
I'm supposed to memorize all of your responses in the thread now?
Where did I say that?
 
'jason12vb said:
Advice needed:I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.TIA
See this is my problem with OK Cupid and the rest of the free sites. When its free, you have lots of people that create profiles, and really dont check back often. You have the fake profiles. you have the girls get ridiculous amounts of messages which can be overwhelming. I think this is one of the things you will have to deal with when using OK Cupid. Id recommend upgrading to a pay service.
 
In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.
This
What's wrong with chasing after someone who piques your interest? Don't stop emailing other women but pushing hard after a chick until there's a clear no is half the fun!
For you maybe. My goal is yes.
Good point. I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
I'm supposed to memorize all of your responses in the thread now?
Where did I say imply that?
Here:
I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
 
In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.
This
What's wrong with chasing after someone who piques your interest? Don't stop emailing other women but pushing hard after a chick until there's a clear no is half the fun!
For you maybe. My goal is yes.
Good point. I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
I'm supposed to memorize all of your responses in the thread now?
Where did I say imply that?
Here:
I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
No. I made a statement that was just that. A statement. Your lawyering Christo shtick kicked in and you inferred what you wanted.
 
In most cases I don't do a follow up since there's generally a lot of girls to pick from.
This
What's wrong with chasing after someone who piques your interest? Don't stop emailing other women but pushing hard after a chick until there's a clear no is half the fun!
For you maybe. My goal is yes.
Good point. I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
I'm supposed to memorize all of your responses in the thread now?
Where did I say imply that?
Here:
I should have been more clear when I wrote "It depends what you're looking for." in my previous response.
No. I made a statement that was just that. A statement. Your lawyering Christo shtick kicked in and you inferred what you wanted.
No. You made a statement that implied I didn't understand a prior statement of yours. I refer you specifically to the opening clause "I should have been more clear . . ." This converted your simple statement to an accusation.
 
No. You made a statement that implied I didn't understand a prior statement of yours. I refer you specifically to the opening clause "I should have been more clear . . ." This converted your simple statement to an accusation.
What I actually said was "I should have been more clear..." What I actually meant was "I should have been more clear...". No more and no less. Nothing was implied but you felt the need to assume I was noting your inability to read what it was we were discussing.It is abundantly clear you struggle to read a statement as it is written without inferring whatever it is you'd like to see. I understand you're always looking to argue so we'll simply have to agree to disagree and stop hijacking this thread to discuss your difficulties with the English language.
 
No. You made a statement that implied I didn't understand a prior statement of yours. I refer you specifically to the opening clause "I should have been more clear . . ." This converted your simple statement to an accusation.
What I actually said was "I should have been more clear..." What I actually meant was "I should have been more clear...". No more and no less. Nothing was implied but you felt the need to assume I was noting your inability to read what it was we were discussing.It is abundantly clear you struggle to read a statement as it is written without inferring whatever it is you'd like to see. I understand you're always looking to argue so we'll simply have to agree to disagree and stop hijacking this thread to discuss your difficulties with the English language.
You're not fooling anyone. You made a snide comment. Own it.
 
No. You made a statement that implied I didn't understand a prior statement of yours. I refer you specifically to the opening clause "I should have been more clear . . ." This converted your simple statement to an accusation.
What I actually said was "I should have been more clear..." What I actually meant was "I should have been more clear...". No more and no less. Nothing was implied but you felt the need to assume I was noting your inability to read what it was we were discussing.It is abundantly clear you struggle to read a statement as it is written without inferring whatever it is you'd like to see. I understand you're always looking to argue so we'll simply have to agree to disagree and stop hijacking this thread to discuss your difficulties with the English language.
You're not fooling anyone. You made a snide comment. Own it.
I have no issue making snide comments or standing by them. My last response had plenty of it. The initial comment is exactly what I claimed. You have a tendency to look for arguments. You surely must know that about yourself. Your desire to nitpick caused you to overreact to a simple statement. I understand where you're coming from and we all make mistakes. If you choose not to take me at my word that is on you. I've given you no reason to doubt me.
 
No. You made a statement that implied I didn't understand a prior statement of yours. I refer you specifically to the opening clause "I should have been more clear . . ." This converted your simple statement to an accusation.
What I actually said was "I should have been more clear..." What I actually meant was "I should have been more clear...". No more and no less. Nothing was implied but you felt the need to assume I was noting your inability to read what it was we were discussing.It is abundantly clear you struggle to read a statement as it is written without inferring whatever it is you'd like to see. I understand you're always looking to argue so we'll simply have to agree to disagree and stop hijacking this thread to discuss your difficulties with the English language.
You're not fooling anyone. You made a snide comment. Own it.
I have no issue making snide comments or standing by them. My last response had plenty of it. The initial comment is exactly what I claimed. You have a tendency to look for arguments. You surely must know that about yourself. Your desire to nitpick caused you to overreact to a simple statement. I understand where you're coming from and we all make mistakes. If you choose not to take me at my word that is on you. I've given you no reason to doubt me.
Other than the statement that started all of this.
 
I must be weird. I'd find someone saying "the ex" to be about 10X as weird as just calling the dude by his name. I mean, I presume she would know him well enough to know his name.
This is what I thought too. I thought we were both mature adults. :shrug: Anyway, that was the end of that.
He bailed, or you did?eta: I don't disagree with either you or scooby. People should be together enough to not let stuff like that bother them. But it does get to a lot of people. I guess "my ex" or "the ex" makes them seem like less of a real person and therefore less threatening.

 
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Wow, thanks for all the input guys...some great advice in here and even with the advice I don't think I'll use it's still great discussion.

Gonna ignore the "it's her turn" line of thinking and start fresh. I am looking for "something more" and this profile really piques my interest, plus I just don't have the time to pursue the hoards of women others do...it's exhausting and time consuming!

 
'jason12vb said:
Advice needed:I found someone on OKCupid who's profile I really like, emailed her, got a response enjoying my opener saying "tell me more about yourself", responded but have yet to hear back in 3 or 4 days. For anyone who's done OKC you'll know that they have hundreds of questions people answer that you can see to gauge how like-minded you are, and we're pretty spot on in everything I consider important.Is there a play to be made, or do I just be patient? She's a very attractive woman (28) so I can see her just being completely overwhelmed. I can see she's been on the site, but has not viewed my profile since I sent the last email...makes me think she's trying to hold off while she sees if something materializes with another fella. I've done that myself...let a little time lapse with a secondary interest while trying to set something up with a primary.TIA
See this is my problem with OK Cupid and the rest of the free sites. When its free, you have lots of people that create profiles, and really dont check back often. You have the fake profiles. you have the girls get ridiculous amounts of messages which can be overwhelming. I think this is one of the things you will have to deal with when using OK Cupid. Id recommend upgrading to a pay service.
Completely agree...these free sites (OKC and POF) are completely different then Match and eHarmony and you've gotta take it into account. There are a myriad of reasons for a girl on a free site to not respond that could have nothing at all to do with me. I personally hate Match...think it's over-run with fake profiles...but just created an eHarmony profile the other day. Would like to set something up or rule out OKC-girl before dropping $150 on eHarmony first though.
 

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