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I really enjoy chicks like that. The last couple women I've met online have been rather aggressive as well. One of 'em was perfectly normal. The other was a touch crazy but nothing terribly out of the ordinary. It makes things so much easier for us dudes. Go and meet her. She may be crazy or have issues but you can't tell just from her initiating contact. There is nothing desperate about contacting someone who piques your interest on a dating site.
this
Update from WhatDoIKnow?
def drinks unless you've seen her nekkid on webcam.As far as the three chicks are concerned, you're getting ahead of yourself. Meet/date as many as you feel comfortable with until you find 'the one'. Remember, most of these girls are going out on several dates a week so don't feel bad. You're a man. Your job is to hunt and gather.
Looking to get into the groove her regarding online dating. I'm a statistics guy so the chance to meet and sort out women outside of going to bars/clubs/friends is a good idea. I'm sifting through the pictures I have (tough b/c most of them were with the ex) and I was wondering which one you guys think should go on a profile for a dating site?Since my divorce 2.5 years ago, I've been honing my skills on these websites and done very well, and also been very disappointed - I've documented many of my encounters elsewhere under my former alias for those interested.
This thread is long and I haven't followed along until recently however just wanted to post some of my experiences with match and eharmony since my divorce to anyone who may find it useful. There's a lot of guys here, who know more than me - but I would put the count of women I've gone out with at around 50 in 2.5 years and the women I've "closed the deal" with at around 30% of that which is a decent success rate considering many of those un-pursued flings were of my choice...as a matter of fact, I've actually only gone out with 2 people I met at a bar without the assistance of an online site - so this can be exploited.
Let's begin:
Setting Up Your Profile:
A lot of this depends on what you are looking for. Are you just looking for some strange? Or are you seriously looking for the mother of your children? I'm not looking for the mother of my children so I can't speak to that unfortunately.
~ Photos: You've got to have a lot of them and you need more than just head shots. Make them recent and make them photos in which you are clearly having a good time. The photo taken BY you OF you is a tool move, especially if you're sitting in your car. I don't know why dudes do this. This is a chick thing to do. Get a photo of you standing with 4 of your buddies out at a bar, on a golf course, with a drink in your hand and smiling from ear to ear like you are having the best ####### time of your life. This tells the woman you are a fun guy and projects that you are young and vibrant and can probably last a long time in the sack. Again, no SELF photos - this tells the woman you are vain - ladies like a confident guy, not a stuck up guy.
If you are looking for strange, no photos with you and a dog under 20 pounds please (sorry Woz). You're only going to attract animal lovers who are too picky to find a guy and that's why they're using an online dating site to begin with. Lose the dog photos. These types of photos are cringe worthy for both guys and girls looking to get laid and project the opposite of sex appeal. If you must have a prop with you in the photo, have someone take an action shot of you shooting a basketball, or with an oversized mug of beer in your hand from Dave and Busters. Now you're fun and athletic. Only girls looking for their future husband want a sensitive guy - there's a LOT of women on these sites looking for a tryst, moreso on match than eHarmony FWIW.
Variety in your photos. Put one up of you in some sort of athletic gear or doing something athletic. Make sure there is a full body, if you have blue eyes make sure one accentuates your eyes; if you are a nice dresser, put a full body photo of you wearing your nicest get-up. This is really important...get yourself a photo with a HOT chick. I know a few hot chicks but don't really have any as friends, so when I'm out at a bar and there's a really hot waitress or patron I simply walked up to them and say hello and ask them for a photo since your friends are always busting your balls about never talking to women at the bar. Works every time. Just assure them it's not going on facebook, you're just texting it to your buddy Mike who is always ragging on you for not having enough confidence to talk to a woman. Get this photo up on match or eharmony. I promise you, 75% of women out there will look at the female in the photo and analyze whether or not she's good looking or not and then measure herself up to your companion in the photo. Feel free to put a caption in there: "Me with my friend Jen at the bar". The hotter the women you hang around with, the hotter the women you will attract.
When you do have photos of friends, make sure you don't have 10 photos of you and you're zit-faced, freckled, glasses-wearing, overweight good bud Ralph. Ralph might be the type of guy to drive out to you on I-95 when you run out of gas and help you out, but you need to exude popularity, and being in a photo with a bunch ofs is going to hurt your image. It sounds harsh - but it's true. The objective here is strange, not showing people you are a humanitarian by befriending strange looking humans.
Show your teeth in the photo. Chicks always dig guys with nice teeth. If you have nice teeth, show them when you smile. If you're teeth aren't bright, buy some whitening strips and get a photo up there 30 days later.
Finally, get a photo of you doing something wild and exciting: surfing, parasailing, sky diving. It doesn't even matter if it's you, just find a photo of some dude surfing where you can't see his face. She'll never notice - just tell her you love to surf and every time she invites you to the beach, feign sickness.
It's impossible to read this post without saying "no, no, no, OH GOD NO!".I mean... c'mon really? Thug? Stripper pole? Keg Stand?? Cheerleaders?
Just put a big black square over the exes faceLooking to get into the groove her regarding online dating. I'm a statistics guy so the chance to meet and sort out women outside of going to bars/clubs/friends is a good idea. I'm sifting through the pictures I have (tough b/c most of them were with the ex) and I was wondering which one you guys think should go on a profile for a dating site?Since my divorce 2.5 years ago, I've been honing my skills on these websites and done very well, and also been very disappointed - I've documented many of my encounters elsewhere under my former alias for those interested.
This thread is long and I haven't followed along until recently however just wanted to post some of my experiences with match and eharmony since my divorce to anyone who may find it useful. There's a lot of guys here, who know more than me - but I would put the count of women I've gone out with at around 50 in 2.5 years and the women I've "closed the deal" with at around 30% of that which is a decent success rate considering many of those un-pursued flings were of my choice...as a matter of fact, I've actually only gone out with 2 people I met at a bar without the assistance of an online site - so this can be exploited.
Let's begin:
Setting Up Your Profile:
A lot of this depends on what you are looking for. Are you just looking for some strange? Or are you seriously looking for the mother of your children? I'm not looking for the mother of my children so I can't speak to that unfortunately.
~ Photos: You've got to have a lot of them and you need more than just head shots. Make them recent and make them photos in which you are clearly having a good time. The photo taken BY you OF you is a tool move, especially if you're sitting in your car. I don't know why dudes do this. This is a chick thing to do. Get a photo of you standing with 4 of your buddies out at a bar, on a golf course, with a drink in your hand and smiling from ear to ear like you are having the best ####### time of your life. This tells the woman you are a fun guy and projects that you are young and vibrant and can probably last a long time in the sack. Again, no SELF photos - this tells the woman you are vain - ladies like a confident guy, not a stuck up guy.
If you are looking for strange, no photos with you and a dog under 20 pounds please (sorry Woz). You're only going to attract animal lovers who are too picky to find a guy and that's why they're using an online dating site to begin with. Lose the dog photos. These types of photos are cringe worthy for both guys and girls looking to get laid and project the opposite of sex appeal. If you must have a prop with you in the photo, have someone take an action shot of you shooting a basketball, or with an oversized mug of beer in your hand from Dave and Busters. Now you're fun and athletic. Only girls looking for their future husband want a sensitive guy - there's a LOT of women on these sites looking for a tryst, moreso on match than eHarmony FWIW.
Variety in your photos. Put one up of you in some sort of athletic gear or doing something athletic. Make sure there is a full body, if you have blue eyes make sure one accentuates your eyes; if you are a nice dresser, put a full body photo of you wearing your nicest get-up. This is really important...get yourself a photo with a HOT chick. I know a few hot chicks but don't really have any as friends, so when I'm out at a bar and there's a really hot waitress or patron I simply walked up to them and say hello and ask them for a photo since your friends are always busting your balls about never talking to women at the bar. Works every time. Just assure them it's not going on facebook, you're just texting it to your buddy Mike who is always ragging on you for not having enough confidence to talk to a woman. Get this photo up on match or eharmony. I promise you, 75% of women out there will look at the female in the photo and analyze whether or not she's good looking or not and then measure herself up to your companion in the photo. Feel free to put a caption in there: "Me with my friend Jen at the bar". The hotter the women you hang around with, the hotter the women you will attract.
When you do have photos of friends, make sure you don't have 10 photos of you and you're zit-faced, freckled, glasses-wearing, overweight good bud Ralph. Ralph might be the type of guy to drive out to you on I-95 when you run out of gas and help you out, but you need to exude popularity, and being in a photo with a bunch of
Show your teeth in the photo. Chicks always dig guys with nice teeth. If you have nice teeth, show them when you smile. If you're teeth aren't bright, buy some whitening strips and get a photo up there 30 days later.
Finally, get a photo of you doing something wild and exciting: surfing, parasailing, sky diving. It doesn't even matter if it's you, just find a photo of some dude surfing where you can't see his face. She'll never notice - just tell her you love to surf and every time she invites you to the beach, feign sickness.
- pictures with guys friends:
#1) at a bar - large group
#2) in a wine cellar from a wine tasting trip - larger group posing in front of giant wine barrels
#3) a "mugging/thug" "no smiling" picture in Vegas.
#4) Me and my brother - Me with a drink in hand and big eyes/open mouth like I'm screaming at the camera man
- Candid photos of me with center focus:
#1) Shooting a gun at a gun range
#2) Holding/leaning back while holding the stripper pole on a party bus.
#3) Doing a keg stand
#4) Shooting a free throw on the Warriors court
#5) Dancing on top of a pool table at a house party
#5) Having win poured from the barrel into my glass
- Photos with chicks
#1) Picture with 3 warrior girl cheerleaders
#2) Picture of my brother, me, and 2 girls (actually one is the ex, but she's standing next to my brother) in Tahoe casino.
#3) Me with a girl friend, flanked by two guy friends
Let me know what pictures should go up on my dating profile and if I need anymore of a certain type.
It really depends on what you're looking for... pictures set the tone for how they will read what you have to say in your profile. "Thug? Stripper pole? Keg Stand?? Cheerleaders?" Think about what pics like that would say to a potential mate.When it comes to online dating I feel like it only takes one bad picture to turn someone off and dismiss you (true when I look at profiles). My strategy, I chose a funny and bright attention grabbing profile pic...at least I was being a doofus when I took it and thought t was funny, I'm told it was hot. I then chose pics that showed off who I was and what I liked to do...something with my dog, a scenic/funny/adventurous pic or two on vacation somewhere, one or two athletic ones, something with the brothers, and one on the town with friends that showed I have the ability to get dressed up and have some fun. Everyone chooses what they think are the photo's that make them look the hottest, but then you have to live up to your hottest pictures every first date . Keeping the pics simple, fun, and who you are is easy to live up to. Plus it's always nice to hear their first internal thought when they saw you is "whoah, this guy is way better looking in person!"
Haha so I guess no to those.It's impossible to read this post without saying "no, no, no, OH GOD NO!".I mean... c'mon really? Thug? Stripper pole? Keg Stand?? Cheerleaders?
Definitely no to those. Maybe no to some others as well. Honestly I'd need to see them to say for sure.Haha so I guess no to those.It's impossible to read this post without saying "no, no, no, OH GOD NO!".I mean... c'mon really? Thug? Stripper pole? Keg Stand?? Cheerleaders?
I was sporting half a chub by the end of the first paragraph.'beavers said:Ahh, yes ... rookie mistake in the FFA'beavers said:
Which other ones are a maybe? I just picked a bunch of pictures that showed I like to party and have fun. Not afraid to make a fool of myself, but that probably isn't what I want to portray.Also tough because almost all my pictures have that ####in whore in them.Definitely no to those. Maybe no to some others as well. Honestly I'd need to see them to say for sure.Haha so I guess no to those.It's impossible to read this post without saying "no, no, no, OH GOD NO!".I mean... c'mon really? Thug? Stripper pole? Keg Stand?? Cheerleaders?
The two wine ones sound the most promising. Also maybe the free throw and the one with a girl and two other guys.Which other ones are a maybe? I just picked a bunch of pictures that showed I like to party and have fun. Not afraid to make a fool of myself, but that probably isn't what I want to portray.Also tough because almost all my pictures have that ####in whore in them.Definitely no to those. Maybe no to some others as well. Honestly I'd need to see them to say for sure.Haha so I guess no to those.It's impossible to read this post without saying "no, no, no, OH GOD NO!".I mean... c'mon really? Thug? Stripper pole? Keg Stand?? Cheerleaders?
Gracias.The two wine ones sound the most promising. Also maybe the free throw and the one with a girl and two other guys.Which other ones are a maybe? I just picked a bunch of pictures that showed I like to party and have fun. Not afraid to make a fool of myself, but that probably isn't what I want to portray.Also tough because almost all my pictures have that ####in whore in them.Definitely no to those. Maybe no to some others as well. Honestly I'd need to see them to say for sure.Haha so I guess no to those.It's impossible to read this post without saying "no, no, no, OH GOD NO!".I mean... c'mon really? Thug? Stripper pole? Keg Stand?? Cheerleaders?
'beavers said:
ETA: It looks like this was a Columbus OH exchange since she referenced a 270 parking lot. Must be something in the water here.
at all of it but especially this. Guster - unless you're relying on nothing more than your good looks, your abilities in person will translate well to the online dating. It'll just take a bit of getting used to but you should do fine.
yeah, I'll figure it out. I tweaked my pof profile this weekend and have gotten a lot more activity as a result. Now if the girls messaging me would all lose like 50 lbs each, I'll be in business
I get that it's a joke. One of those self deprecating things, right? You should remove that. It's nothing more than a lame fishing attempt that will draw out the other insecure folk.'beavers said:
Could just anger bang her in support of your friendA tricky issue has come up for me on eHarmony. A women who is in the same general line of work contacted me a few weeks ago (let's call her EH Chick). EH Chick had some good profile photos and I thought it was nice that we had common occupations, so I carried on with the communications. She sent her first e-mail to me yesterday. Based on the e-mail and the information in her profile, I was able to piece together pretty quickly (i.e., a 30-second Google search) exactly who EH Chick was and her work history. It turns out that we are in the exact same field and that one of my friends had worked with EH Chick in the past. Naturally, I reached out to my friend to see what her impression are of EH Chick. My friend surprised me with a vehemently negative response... EH Chick basically stabbed my friend in the back and was instrumental in getting my friend fired from her old job which led to her getting blackballed of sorts in the industry. Obviously, I have no desire to go out with EH Chick now out of loyalty to my friend. But I am concerned that I am going to run into EH Chick in my work life at some point (it's sort of a small professional circle), so I don't want to come off as being rude. (Note: I have not e-mailed her back yet, although she could probably figure out who I am if she was really curious on the web.) So what's the best way to handle this? Blowing her off by not responding to her at all or being honest with her (in re my friend) both seem like bad options. Maybe I put her off for a week or two and then respond with a white lie saying I've met someone else?
edit: Of course, its possible that your friend might be exaggerating what happened. Women tend to do thatFrom Chris Rock....Woman: She's trying to DESTROY ME!!!Man: You wrap packages at JC Penny!! What she doing, tearing up your paper?!?!?
Stupid you for talking to your friend. What was the upside? She tells you it's a great chick when you already had an interest in the chick? I'd say screw the friend and go out with her anyhow. Odds are you two won't be a match. If you are a match, it's worth telling your friend to suck it up and get over it.A tricky issue has come up for me on eHarmony. A women who is in the same general line of work contacted me a few weeks ago (let's call her EH Chick). EH Chick had some good profile photos and I thought it was nice that we had common occupations, so I carried on with the communications. She sent her first e-mail to me yesterday. Based on the e-mail and the information in her profile, I was able to piece together pretty quickly (i.e., a 30-second Google search) exactly who EH Chick was and her work history. It turns out that we are in the exact same field and that one of my friends had worked with EH Chick in the past. Naturally, I reached out to my friend to see what her impression are of EH Chick. My friend surprised me with a vehemently negative response... EH Chick basically stabbed my friend in the back and was instrumental in getting my friend fired from her old job which led to her getting blackballed of sorts in the industry. Obviously, I have no desire to go out with EH Chick now out of loyalty to my friend. But I am concerned that I am going to run into EH Chick in my work life at some point (it's sort of a small professional circle), so I don't want to come off as being rude. (Note: I have not e-mailed her back yet, although she could probably figure out who I am if she was really curious on the web.) So what's the best way to handle this? Blowing her off by not responding to her at all or being honest with her (in re my friend) both seem like bad options. Maybe I put her off for a week or two and then respond with a white lie saying I've met someone else?
Sure, it might be possible that my friend's version of events isn't 100% accurate. But does it really matter? For me, it's not worth ruining a friendship over some chick I've never met.Could just anger bang her in support of your friendA tricky issue has come up for me on eHarmony. A women who is in the same general line of work contacted me a few weeks ago (let's call her EH Chick). EH Chick had some good profile photos and I thought it was nice that we had common occupations, so I carried on with the communications. She sent her first e-mail to me yesterday. Based on the e-mail and the information in her profile, I was able to piece together pretty quickly (i.e., a 30-second Google search) exactly who EH Chick was and her work history. It turns out that we are in the exact same field and that one of my friends had worked with EH Chick in the past. Naturally, I reached out to my friend to see what her impression are of EH Chick. My friend surprised me with a vehemently negative response... EH Chick basically stabbed my friend in the back and was instrumental in getting my friend fired from her old job which led to her getting blackballed of sorts in the industry. Obviously, I have no desire to go out with EH Chick now out of loyalty to my friend. But I am concerned that I am going to run into EH Chick in my work life at some point (it's sort of a small professional circle), so I don't want to come off as being rude. (Note: I have not e-mailed her back yet, although she could probably figure out who I am if she was really curious on the web.) So what's the best way to handle this? Blowing her off by not responding to her at all or being honest with her (in re my friend) both seem like bad options. Maybe I put her off for a week or two and then respond with a white lie saying I've met someone else?
Well, there was some upside from getting a glowing recommendation from my friend because I was lukewarm on EH Chick prior to this knowledge (looks-wise, she isn't really my type).Regardless, I do not want to go out with this chick now out of respect for my friend. A brief backstory here... our group of friends remembered hearing about the EH Chick/friend getting fired story a few years ago when all of this went down, but we never knew who this chick actually was. So if I go out with EH Chick, not only would I be pissing off my friend who got fired, I'd also be pissing off all of our other friends too. On top of all that, my friend that got fired was also one of the few people that was friends with my ex-wife that stuck up for me and took my side in the divorce, which I feel very grateful for. At this point, there is definitely no upside in dating this chick.Stupid you for talking to your friend. What was the upside? She tells you it's a great chick when you already had an interest in the chick? I'd say screw the friend and go out with her anyhow. Odds are you two won't be a match. If you are a match, it's worth telling your friend to suck it up and get over it.A tricky issue has come up for me on eHarmony. A women who is in the same general line of work contacted me a few weeks ago (let's call her EH Chick). EH Chick had some good profile photos and I thought it was nice that we had common occupations, so I carried on with the communications. She sent her first e-mail to me yesterday. Based on the e-mail and the information in her profile, I was able to piece together pretty quickly (i.e., a 30-second Google search) exactly who EH Chick was and her work history. It turns out that we are in the exact same field and that one of my friends had worked with EH Chick in the past. Naturally, I reached out to my friend to see what her impression are of EH Chick. My friend surprised me with a vehemently negative response... EH Chick basically stabbed my friend in the back and was instrumental in getting my friend fired from her old job which led to her getting blackballed of sorts in the industry. Obviously, I have no desire to go out with EH Chick now out of loyalty to my friend. But I am concerned that I am going to run into EH Chick in my work life at some point (it's sort of a small professional circle), so I don't want to come off as being rude. (Note: I have not e-mailed her back yet, although she could probably figure out who I am if she was really curious on the web.) So what's the best way to handle this? Blowing her off by not responding to her at all or being honest with her (in re my friend) both seem like bad options. Maybe I put her off for a week or two and then respond with a white lie saying I've met someone else?
Maybe use this angle. Say you don't want to be romantically linked to someone you may be professionally linked to in the future.A tricky issue has come up for me on eHarmony. A women who is in the same general line of work contacted me a few weeks ago (let's call her EH Chick). EH Chick had some good profile photos and I thought it was nice that we had common occupations, so I carried on with the communications. She sent her first e-mail to me yesterday. Based on the e-mail and the information in her profile, I was able to piece together pretty quickly (i.e., a 30-second Google search) exactly who EH Chick was and her work history.
It turns out that we are in the exact same field and that one of my friends had worked with EH Chick in the past. Naturally, I reached out to my friend to see what her impression are of EH Chick. My friend surprised me with a vehemently negative response... EH Chick basically stabbed my friend in the back and was instrumental in getting my friend fired from her old job which led to her getting blackballed of sorts in the industry.
Obviously, I have no desire to go out with EH Chick now out of loyalty to my friend. But I am concerned that I am going to run into EH Chick in my work life at some point (it's sort of a small professional circle), so I don't want to come off as being rude. (Note: I have not e-mailed her back yet, although she could probably figure out who I am if she was really curious on the web.) So what's the best way to handle this? Blowing her off by not responding to her at all or being honest with her (in re my friend) both seem like bad options. Maybe I put her off for a week or two and then respond with a white lie saying I've met someone else?
Not really. Maybe just do the opposite of what Bucky86 recommends.
In my experience, "Athletic" is the body type that's most misused. Sorry, but playing high school softball 6 years ago or once a week in the summer now doesn't make you athletic. I always include Average in my searches...just never get sucked in by camera angles and head shots.'zed2283 said:
I'm newly single but not much of an i-dater. I getz love whereva i walks so haven't had the need lately
I'm a FBG. I may soon dip my pen in teh internets as it's efficient like Amazon Prime.
Also, athletic sometimes means the girl has thick stocky legs from playing catcher or powerlifting 400 lbs.
athletic is a no go as there's a high probability that means they're not a top model
Don't wink.Ignore out of state.Best site varies by area. Makes sense to start with the free ones though. I liked okcupid best. IMO if you answer enough of the questions, the "percentage match" thing is more accurate than anything I've seen on any other site. YMMV.
Winks from men are really, really weak. "Beta" if you will. Why would a woman respond to such a timid advance?No such thing as a good message template imo.Edit: I thought you were married.
Recently separated.
Oh, I don't know. You don't like my avatar?Thanks, looking forward to it (the freedom part). We'll see how it goes (the dating part). I've never been too successful with this kind of thing, so I'm going to try to take some pointers.Time for an avatar update?
Agreed on all here.I liked OKCupid and Plentyoffish.com the most. After doing online dating on and off for 4 years and probably 30+ first dates, I finally met "the one" on OKCupid and had extremely high match ratings with her based on their hundreds of questions you can answer (if you chose to). Full disclosure though, OKCupid only played a role. My girlfriend's cousin , with whom I play volleyball with, tried to set us up thinking we would be cute together. Nothing ever came of it because she met someone else, but a month later OKCupid delivered her profile to my email suggesting I check her out...I recognized the picture, emailed her, and we are amazing together.
Probably my most favorite part of online dating was getting forwards from girls I was communicating with about the "tardballs" that were emailing them that had no shot....or had a shot based on pics and just completely ruined it by what they had to say. Flat out hilarious to see the different angles guys take and how clueless they are when it comes to not just women, but the communicating in the English language period.
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