Jump to content
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Help with my dilemma....


Mrs DaVinci

Recommended Posts

Sorry if this is too long….

Background:

I have known my friend for over 10 years. She is probably my best friend. I met her when her children we’re my kid’s ages and now two of her three kids are in college. There is a 10 year age gap between us but this has never been an issue. We seem to balance each other out. I am the happy go lucky type and she tends to look at the world through sarcastic glasses.

Dilemma:

For many years now my friend and I have met up every day (during the school year) to exercise. Our exercising has included walking, jogging / running, step aerobics, tennis…pretty much anything you can think of we have done together. Within the past two years my friend has had two major back surgeries. One was a complete failure and they had to re-do the surgery (which was a success). During this time my friend put on about 15 - 20 lbs. She used to be about my size and is now probably a size 6 or 8. So she is not big, but she is not small (at least compared to what she used to be). Anyway she is very unhappy with her weight and determined to get it off.

During the summer my kids were on swim team. Every day after swim team my kids would get on their scooters and they would scoot around the greenway near the pool and I would run to keep up. I guess over the last 90 days my mile time has decreased. Well over the summer my friend was getting back on her feet from surgery and walking with a couple of women from the neighborhood. I’m guessing they averaged a 15 minute mile (even when my girlfriend and I would walk we walked MUCH faster than this). So all summer long I heard, “I can’t wait to get back to running with you as “so and so” doesn’t move all that fast.”

So here we are one week into school and my friend is still walking (around 4 miles) with a couple of women from the neighborhood from 6:45am – 7:45 am and then meeting me around 8:15am to run / walk. When we meet up my friend is already tired from walking and I don’t feel that I am getting her best. Now I wouldn’t have such an issue with this, but I am getting nothing “physical” out of our run (plus she is just getting back into running so we have to stop and walk so she can “catch her breath”). By the end of our exercise time together, I have not broken a sweat nor am I tired or winded and I really do not feel that this is benefiting me in any way.

Today my friend had to cut out early as she was taking her kids back to school and I felt so grateful. I was ashamed to feel that way, but I finally got to run at my pace and it felt great! I want to tell my friend that our “exercise time” in the morning is not working, but I do not want to hurt her feelings. She uses me as a support system (to get her moving) and we use each other to talk during this time, but honestly I would rather just plug in my ears and run and then meet up with her later in the day for our girl chats. I just am afraid of hurting her feelings and if I can’t figure out a way to make this right. Any suggestions on how to tell her how I’m feeling without hurting her would greatly be appreciated. Thx!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guy version of exact same story:What should I say to a jogging buddy who can't keep up with me anymore? The end.

:rolleyes:That's exactly what I was thinking...
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can't you just tell her you want to push yourself a little harder, and run ahead? You can still meet up for a cool down, post-run stretch.edied to add: If you run around a track, you will always be in eye / earshot of one another for the run.

or if you joined a gym of some sort together and used treadmills... Then you could both go at completely different paces and still be right next to eachother like you were at the same pace...
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you have enough time to do both? Go with her at her speed and then at a different time do your own thing. Hopefully with time and you pushing her she will get back to a speed that will be in line with you.

This would be my suggestion. Ideally, you can use your time with your friend as either your warm up or cool down period. Of course, if you have younger kids, you may not have the time, but this would be where I would start.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guy version of exact same story:What should I say to a jogging buddy who can't keep up with me anymore? The end.

:rolleyes:That's exactly what I was thinking...
Except for the fact that the guy buddy would have figured out that he was a drag and would have told you to just go on ahead by now.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is no choice here Mrs. DaVinci only the illusion of choice. You must kick her in front of a bus and re-injure her back. This is the only way to save yourself.

You should probably also mention that if she ate less cake, she wouldn't be such a whale and she would be able to keep up with you.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

First off, most runners are "cool" (or should be) with folks that can't keep up. So, why not split time between what you need to do and use your "recovery days" to walk with her? Bust it 3 days a week with out her and walk 3 or 4 with. If you follow a good schedule, you should get better yourself.

My wife & I run 1/2 marathons together. She is rehabbing a bum knee so we haven't run together since a 1/2 in May. She HATES that we can't run together and its motivating her to get better, faster after rehab with a PT. In the end, I'll bet you can motivate your friend & improve yourself at the same time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the helpful suggestions. At this point I am on my way out to get ankle weights. I am going to try our our normal routine today at her stride using ankle weights. Hopefully this solves the issue. If not, I've decided that I can walk with her at her stride three days a week and then run on my own the other two days of the week and after our walks. I think this will work.

Thx y'all!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the helpful suggestions. At this point I am on my way out to get ankle weights. I am going to try our our normal routine today at her stride using ankle weights. Hopefully this solves the issue. If not, I've decided that I can walk with her at her stride three days a week and then run on my own the other two days of the week and after our walks. I think this will work.Thx y'all!!

:shrug: Definitely the shark move to avoid talking about the issue with your friend. Honesty is overrated in relationships.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the helpful suggestions. At this point I am on my way out to get ankle weights. I am going to try our our normal routine today at her stride using ankle weights. Hopefully this solves the issue. If not, I've decided that I can walk with her at her stride three days a week and then run on my own the other two days of the week and after our walks. I think this will work.

Thx y'all!!

You shouldn't run with ankle weights.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you have enough time to do both? Go with her at her speed and then at a different time do your own thing. Hopefully with time and you pushing her she will get back to a speed that will be in line with you.

:confused: This is the right answer. She needs you to be there for her.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the helpful suggestions. At this point I am on my way out to get ankle weights. I am going to try our our normal routine today at her stride using ankle weights. Hopefully this solves the issue. If not, I've decided that I can walk with her at her stride three days a week and then run on my own the other two days of the week and after our walks. I think this will work.

Thx y'all!!

You shouldn't run with ankle weights.
That was clearly stated on the box and now I understand why. It seemed to mess with the weight distribution on the legs, plus I imagine the added stress to the knee joints isn't very good. I only bought 5 lbs. (2.5 lbs for each leg) and I think I am going to take away 1 lb for each leg and see if that works better.

One way or another this will all work out. :lmao:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe she feels she needs to workout more to get her extra weight off.

Stories like these is why I always work out by myself. I hate waiting for anyone, I want to work out hard at my own pace for as long or short as I want.

If I were you I would start 30 minutes before and get a hard workout in, then take whatever comes with her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guy version of exact same story:What should I say to a jogging buddy who can't keep up with me anymore? The end.

:bag:Guy response: tell him you're going to run at your own pace.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

DaVinci,

This boils down to one question: do you enjoy being with her? If you do, you'll continue to walk with her. If you don't, you should tell her that you can't do both the workouts. Now, perhaps you enjoy her but don't have the time to do both workouts. But no matter what, you are going to hurt her feelings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

UPDATE

Today I finally "pulled the trigger" with my friend

I had decided to "suck it up" and:

1. run/walk (at her rate) instead of running at my normal speed when I was with her;

2. walk her distance (even though I wasn't getting 100% from her as she was walking prior to us meeting) and then I would run afterwords.

I had made the above decision because I felt sorry for my friend and wanted to support her during this rough time.

So....she has been the same since my initial post and I was okay with this as I had come up with my other solution (to run after my time with her). Now.....about two weeks ago she adopted a new puppy and has decided without asking me to bring him along in the mornings. Well, we can't run anymore because the dog has to stop and sniff everything. I thought that she would decide that this wasn't working and not bring the dog...that hasn't been the case. Furthermore, the dog does not like loud noises and goes into a panic mode if a school bus/garbage truck goes by or if the yard crew is in the neighborhood. Today happened to be garbage day and yard day in the neighborhood. The damn dog went ballistic. We walked about a mile (which took 30+ minutes as the dog had to stop and smell all the garbage cans and then bark and act tough for the garbage trucks) and I suggested that we go ahead and end the walk. I had enough. About an hour later I was working in the bush and flower beds and she came walking down the street with another neighbor (and the new dog). I was shocked, I have bent over backwards to meet her needs and it just never ends. I ignored her completely and thought about what I was going to do. After I finished working in the landscape (which was about 2.5 hours (and I noticed that she walked for over an hour)), I went in and called her and told her that from here on out I have decided that I will be running in the mornings and the she is free to run with me at my pace. You could hear she was a little hurt and I did feel bad, but I've bent over backwards to the point where I have broken. I hope this turns out well....

The End!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

UPDATEToday I finally "pulled the trigger" with my friendI had decided to "suck it up" and:1. run/walk (at her rate) instead of running at my normal speed when I was with her;2. walk her distance (even though I wasn't getting 100% from her as she was walking prior to us meeting) and then I would run afterwords.I had made the above decision because I felt sorry for my friend and wanted to support her during this rough time. So....she has been the same since my initial post and I was okay with this as I had come up with my other solution (to run after my time with her). Now.....about two weeks ago she adopted a new puppy and has decided without asking me to bring him along in the mornings. Well, we can't run anymore because the dog has to stop and sniff everything. I thought that she would decide that this wasn't working and not bring the dog...that hasn't been the case. Furthermore, the dog does not like loud noises and goes into a panic mode if a school bus/garbage truck goes by or if the yard crew is in the neighborhood. Today happened to be garbage day and yard day in the neighborhood. The damn dog went ballistic. We walked about a mile (which took 30+ minutes as the dog had to stop and smell all the garbage cans and then bark and act tough for the garbage trucks) and I suggested that we go ahead and end the walk. I had enough. About an hour later I was working in the bush and flower beds and she came walking down the street with another neighbor (and the new dog). I was shocked, I have bent over backwards to meet her needs and it just never ends. I ignored her completely and thought about what I was going to do. After I finished working in the landscape (which was about 2.5 hours (and I noticed that she walked for over an hour)), I went in and called her and told her that from here on out I have decided that I will be running in the mornings and the she is free to run with me at my pace. You could hear she was a little hurt and I did feel bad, but I've bent over backwards to the point where I have broken. I hope this turns out well....The End!!

Much like your story, you waited to long to get to the point.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Mrs Davinci

I read your fascinating article about fat people and would like to Although astronomy is as ancient as recorded history itself, it was long separated from the study of physics. In the Aristotelian worldview, the celestial world tended towards perfection—bodies in the sky seemed to be perfect spheres moving in perfectly circular orbits—while the earthly world seemed destined to imperfection; these two realms were not seen as related.

Aristarchus of Samos (c. 310–250 BC) first put forward the notion that the motions of the celestial bodies could be explained by assuming that the Earth and all the other planets in the Solar System orbited the Sun. Unfortunately, in the geocentric world of the time, Aristarchus' heliocentric theory was deemed outlandish and heretical, and for centuries, the apparently common-sense view that the Sun and other planets went round the Earth nearly went unquestioned until the development of Copernican heliocentrism in the 16th century AD. This was due to the dominance of the geocentric model developed by Ptolemy (c. 83-161 AD), an Hellenized astronomer from Roman Egypt, in his Almagest treatise.

The only known supporter of Aristarchus was Seleucus of Seleucia, a Babylonian astronomer who is said to have proved heliocentrism through reasoning in the 2nd century BC. This may have involved the phenomenon of tides,[1] which he correctly theorized to be caused by attraction to the Moon and notes that the height of the tides depends on the Moon's position relative to the Sun.[2] Alternatively, he may have determined the constants of a geometric model for the heliocentric theory and developed methods to compute planetary positions using this model, possibly using early trigonometric methods that were available in his time, much like Copernicus.[3] Some have also interpreted the planetary models developed by Aryabhata (476-550), an Indian astronomer,[4][5][6] and Albumasar (787-886), a Persian astronomer, to be heliocentric models.[7]

In the 9th century AD, the Persian physicist and astronomer, Ja'far Muhammad ibn Mūsā ibn Shākir, hypothesized that the heavenly bodies and celestial spheres are subject to the same laws of physics as Earth, unlike the ancients who believed that the celestial spheres followed their own set of physical laws different from that of Earth.[8] He also proposed that there is a force of attraction between "heavenly bodies",[9] vaguely foreshadowing the law of gravity.[10]

In the early 11th century, Ibn al-Haytham (Alhazen) wrote the Maqala fi daw al-qamar (On the Light of the Moon) some time before 1021. This was the first successful attempt at combining mathematical astronomy with physics, and the earliest attempt at applying the experimental method to astronomy and astrophysics. He disproved the universally held opinion that the moon reflects sunlight like a mirror and correctly concluded that it "emits light from those portions of its surface which the sun's light strikes." In order to prove that "light is emitted from every point of the moon's illuminated surface," he built an "ingenious experimental device." Ibn al-Haytham had "formulated a clear conception of the relationship between an ideal mathematical model and the complex of observable phenomena; in particular, he was the first to make a systematic use of the method of varying the experimental conditions in a constant and uniform manner, in an experiment showing that the intensity of the light-spot formed by the projection of the moonlight through two small apertures onto a screen diminishes constantly as one of the apertures is gradually blocked up."[11]

In the 14th century, Ibn al-Shatir produced the first model of lunar motion which matched physical observations, and which was later used by Copernicus.[12] In the 13th to 15th centuries, Tusi and Ali Kuşçu provided the earliest empirical evidence for the Earth's rotation, using the phenomena of comets to refute Ptolemy's claim that a stationery Earth can be determined through observation. Kuşçu further rejected Aristotelian physics and natural philosophy, allowing astronomy and physics to become empirical and mathematical instead of philosophical. In the early 16th century, the debate on the Earth's motion was continued by Al-Birjandi (d. 1528), who in his analysis of what might occur if the Earth were rotating, develops a hypothesis similar to Galileo Galilei's notion of "circular inertia", which he described in the following observational test:[13][14]

"The small or large rock will fall to the Earth along the path of a line that is perpendicular to the plane (sath) of the horizon; this is witnessed by experience (tajriba). And this perpendicular is away from the tangent point of the Earth’s sphere and the plane of the perceived (hissi) horizon. This point moves with the motion of the Earth and thus there will be no difference in place of fall of the two rocks."

After heliocentrism was revived by Nicolaus Copernicus in the 16th century, Galileo Galilei discovered the four brightest moons of Jupiter in 1609, and documented their orbits about that planet, which contradicted the geocentric dogma of the Catholic Church of his time, and escaped serious punishment only by maintaining that his astronomy was a work of mathematics, not of natural philosophy (physics), and therefore purely abstract.

The availability of accurate observational data (mainly from the observatory of Tycho Brahe) led to research into theoretical explanations for the observed behavior. At first, only empirical rules were discovered, such as Kepler's laws of planetary motion, discovered at the start of the 17th century. Later that century, Isaac Newton bridged the gap between Kepler's laws and Galileo's dynamics, discovering that the same laws that rule the dynamics of objects on Earth rule the motion of planets and the moon. Celestial mechanics, the application of Newtonian gravity and Newton's laws to explain Kepler's laws of planetary motion, was the first unification of astronomy and physics.

After Isaac Newton published his book, Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, maritime navigation was transformed. Starting around 1670, the entire world was measured using essentially modern latitude instruments and the best available clocks. The needs of navigation provided a drive for progressively more accurate astronomical observations and instruments, providing a background for ever more available data for scientists.

At the end of the 19th century, it was discovered that, when decomposing the light from the Sun, a multitude of spectral lines were observed (regions where there was less or no light). Experiments with hot gases showed that the same lines could be observed in the spectra of gases, specific lines corresponding to unique chemical elements. In this way it was proved that the chemical elements found in the Sun (chiefly hydrogen) were also found on Earth. Indeed, the element helium was first discovered in the spectrum of the Sun and only later on Earth, hence its name. During the 20th century, spectroscopy (the study of these spectral lines) advanced, particularly as a result of the advent of quantum physics that was necessary to understand the astronomical and experimental observations.[15] hear more

about your thoughts on the matter

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
  • Create New...