Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
So I walk out of the supermarket yesterday and put the bags in my car. Just as I'm opening up the driver's side door this Korean guy approaches me holding out some sort of business card. He says "Excuse me, sir." I'm halfway just about in the car but I figure I'll be civil and see what he wants. Maybe he's just going to hand me a card that says 'Jesus Loves You' or something.
He hands me the card and says "I've just opened up a new business down the street...". The card reads something like 'A-1 Relaxing Massage Therapy'. I tell him "Thanks. I'll pass this on to my wife." I figured that would be it.
This is when it gets weird. The guy says "Oh yeah, your wife, you, whatever, I do great massage."
Then he reaches out and starts to massage my shoulder and says something like "Ohh! See, tense!"
Now in case I've never mentioned it I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE TOUCHING ME. The only exceptions are my wife and some sort of medical professional. I mean lap-dances make me uncomfortable and not in a good way.
So Kato's got his meathook all over my clavicle and I'm just stunned. I mean it was so out of the blue I was almost paralyzed. I think I gave him one of these
looks.
After what seemed like 10 seconds, but was probably more like 2, I said 'easy there', closed the car door, and backed out without even looking at Kim Jong Ill-Advised
Of course the first thing I think is "That dude was hitting on me. Is that his MO? Grope strange men in the parking lot under the pretext of promoting his massage business?" But as I drive away I see him talking to some dumpy, middle-aged woman and he reaches out and starts rubbing her arm!
Then I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and took a 2-hour long pumice shower.
He hands me the card and says "I've just opened up a new business down the street...". The card reads something like 'A-1 Relaxing Massage Therapy'. I tell him "Thanks. I'll pass this on to my wife." I figured that would be it.
This is when it gets weird. The guy says "Oh yeah, your wife, you, whatever, I do great massage."
Then he reaches out and starts to massage my shoulder and says something like "Ohh! See, tense!"
Now in case I've never mentioned it I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE TOUCHING ME. The only exceptions are my wife and some sort of medical professional. I mean lap-dances make me uncomfortable and not in a good way.
So Kato's got his meathook all over my clavicle and I'm just stunned. I mean it was so out of the blue I was almost paralyzed. I think I gave him one of these
looks.After what seemed like 10 seconds, but was probably more like 2, I said 'easy there', closed the car door, and backed out without even looking at Kim Jong Ill-Advised
Of course the first thing I think is "That dude was hitting on me. Is that his MO? Grope strange men in the parking lot under the pretext of promoting his massage business?" But as I drive away I see him talking to some dumpy, middle-aged woman and he reaches out and starts rubbing her arm!
Then I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and took a 2-hour long pumice shower.
IH:
looks.
+10 spots in the rankings
