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Phrases/terms that need to be retired immediately


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These pretzels are making me horny

"#### you 2016". People died in 2015 and will continue to die next year. Every time a famous person dies there's about a million tweets saying fu 2016. Stop.

In this vein, the whole "momma bear" thing absolutely infuriates me.  Shut up, mini-van-driving soccer mom.

On a conference call the other day I presented a question that couldn't be answered immediately. The response was almost enough for me to hang up immediately:

"we are gonna have to put that one in the parking lot, until we can validate."

just horrible.

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Referring to a specific line of business as "space".

"We're cautiously optimistic on growth in the auto space right now".

"Tell the story", as in "Can you add more graphics to this deck? The story I want to tell is how optimistic we are with regards to growth in the auto space."

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On a conference call the other day I presented a question that couldn't be answered immediately. The response was almost enough for me to hang up immediately:

"we are gonna have to put that one in the parking lot, until we can validate."

just horrible.

This one just recently made its way to where I work. It sucks.

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Referring to a specific line of business as "space".

"We're cautiously optimistic on growth in the auto space right now".

"Tell the story", as in "Can you add more graphics to this deck? The story I want to tell is how optimistic we are with regards to growth in the auto space."

I'm fine with both. Seem to have been around for a long time.

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On a conference call the other day I presented a question that couldn't be answered immediately. The response was almost enough for me to hang up immediately:

"we are gonna have to put that one in the parking lot, until we can validate."

just horrible.

Yet another phrase created by high dollar consulting firms to politely tell you that your idea sucks and shut the #### up about it.

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"Saved you a click".

Mainly after a snarky Facebook comment to a posted news link.

Example: NFL.com's post regarding Matt Forte not showing up to voluntary workouts. Some comedian posts "It's Matt Forte. Saved you a click."

Consider yourself throat-punched, tool.

Wow. Hadn't heard this one. These people need to die.

Yeah, this ish persists on FB. I've taken it upon myself to call these buttclowns out.

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Back in HS, my buddy and I used to keep tabs on our English teacher's overuse of the phrases "you know" and "cut and dried". She'd literally say each upwards of 10 times every class. My buddy would take one, I'd take the other and we'd tally them up and the winner would get a buck or something.

I feel like doing this at work. I think I hear "I know, right?" at least 8 times a day. I cringe.

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About 4 years ago, I caught myself overusing "basically" a lot. I've stopped myself now, but I can now hear everyone else do it.

I'm probably guilty of this. :(

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About 4 years ago, I caught myself overusing "basically" a lot. I've stopped myself now, but I can now hear everyone else do it.

A guy at work ends 90% of his sentences with "actually". When he gets nervous it is 100%, actually.

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About 4 years ago, I caught myself overusing "basically" a lot. I've stopped myself now, but I can now hear everyone else do it.

I'm probably guilty of this. :(

"Essentially, we're not friends.

Basically, you're a ####head." [/Kicking and Screaming]

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About 4 years ago, I caught myself overusing "basically" a lot. I've stopped myself now, but I can now hear everyone else do it.

A guy at work ends 90% of his sentences with "actually". When he gets nervous it is 100%, actually.

Are you nervous ?

Edited by Phil Elliott
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About 4 years ago, I caught myself overusing "basically" a lot. I've stopped myself now, but I can now hear everyone else do it.

I'm probably guilty of this. :(

About 4 years ago, I caught myself overusing "basically" a lot. I've stopped myself now, but I can now hear everyone else do it.

Not as cool as saying "apparently".

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One kid I teacher refers to Instagram as "the gram" and he says it like 10 times a day trying to sound cool. I hate him.

I love that kid.

and I now know your kryptonite

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One kid I teacher refers to Instagram as "the gram" and he says it like 10 times a day trying to sound cool. I hate him.

I'm going to start using teacher as a verb.

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I couldn't find the trends thread due to the fabulous search function so I'll put this here...

Being asked whether you have any updates in a meeting, saying "No" then giving a long answer.

"Do you have any updates John?"

"No, just ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... [5mins of more talking] ... ... ... .."

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Late this afternoon, I sat through a one hour presentation by a consultant (go figure) who used the expression "deep dive" or "dive deeper" at least half a dozen times.

So how many times did he bring up the levels of granularity that could be achieved?

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Here's one for the older people. I had a boss in the late 90s that was envious of consultant speak and repeated it whenever possible. His favorite ..."send me a soft copy" - meaning attach it in an email.

He was also fond of saying "spot on" after the thieves from Scottish Power Consulting came over to fleece us.

What a ####.

ETA: damn, forgot - he also started pronouncing process with a long "o." Pro - cess. God I still hate that guy today.

Edited by Binky The Doormat
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One kid I teacher refers to Instagram as "the gram" and he says it like 10 times a day trying to sound cool. I hate him.

I'm going to start using teacher as a verb.
Oh no, don't do that.
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One kid I teacher refers to Instagram as "the gram" and he says it like 10 times a day trying to sound cool. I hate him.

I love that kid.

and I now know your kryptonite

You wouldn't if you knew him. It is my weakness though. I'm just glad no matter how many times he says it, nobody else ever uses it.
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"I could tell you but then I would have to kill you."

How about I just kill you now?

People think they're the world's biggest comedian when they say this. I hate them.

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Referring to a specific line of business as "space".

"We're cautiously optimistic on growth in the auto space right now".

"Tell the story", as in "Can you add more graphics to this deck? The story I want to tell is how optimistic we are with regards to growth in the auto space."

Why wouldn't I want to tell a story in my presentation? If you don't have a story, you should just email the numbers to everyone and save them the trouble of another bull#### meeting.

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  • 2 weeks later...

People that make phone calls and talk loudly on the phone in public... Plz die.

I hate those same people that do this while using the speaker phone, yet hold the phone up to their mouth to yell into it.

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People that make phone calls and talk loudly on the phone in public... Plz die.

I hate those same people that do this while using the speaker phone, yet hold the phone up to their mouth to yell into it.

That is the shark move, methinks.

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People that make phone calls and talk loudly on the phone in public... Plz die.

I hate those same people that do this while using the speaker phone, yet hold the phone up to their mouth to yell into it.

And I don't know what it is, but people in Mercedes cars don't know they have bluetooth. They all have their phone in their hand. WTH is up with that?

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Anybody using the term "deez nuts." I work as a math teacher, and that joke made a comeback in high schools, and I had to almost physically hold myself back from throwing things at the students who used it.

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People that make phone calls and talk loudly on the phone in public... Plz die.

I hate those same people that do this while using the speaker phone, yet hold the phone up to their mouth to yell into it.

And I don't know what it is, but people in Mercedes cars don't know they have bluetooth. They all have their phone in their hand. WTH is up with that?

:bag:

I have been meaning to look at the manual...

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