I post my least favorite commercials here

[Tom Servo 7,055]

6 hours ago, fruity pebbles said:

Here’s Trumpy bear if anyone hasn’t seen it. There’s no way any commercial or product is worse.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i9qv8RSreIM

That’s gotta be shtick. Gotta be.  

[Encyclopedia Brown 2,638]

The old guy out jogging who keeps making abrupt starts and stops, and then it turns out he was tracking his coordinates, and prints out a heart-shaped picture for his wife. First, it looks like he was cutting way too sharply for the picture to be heart shaped. The route looks triangular.

Second, did anyone notice how rundown and shabby his house and neighborhood are? You get the sense he has been doing stunts like this all during the marriage, and not working on being a provider, and that's why they live on twelve hundred dollars a month Social Security, instead of a decent pension because dude could never keep a job long enough to build up a pension.

[Yankee23Fan 9,376]

What's a computer?

It's what I'm going to beat you to death with.  

[The General 24,548]

It boggles my mind the amount of money, planning, people, approvals, that companies go through to come up with a giant turd like these MasterPass commercials that are playing with Joe Montana throwing the vase into the wall. 

It's like they made it up in a few minutes. It's not even remotely clever, funny or informative.

[Plorfu 3,754]

All of the Untuckit shirt commercials are stupid.  The recent one where a guy goes home for the holidays and reconciles with his father over shirts is even more awful than the others.  These things are marketed like they solved an actual problem. 

OMG THIS SHIRT BRIDGES GENERATIONS!!@#

[heckmanm 4,393]

The Verizon d-bag is pretty awful across the board, but the Asian kid in the gift-wrapping spot saves it with his Larry David face at the end.

[Hov34 4,820]

On 12/5/2017 at 0:15 AM, Encyclopedia Brown said:

The old guy out jogging who keeps making abrupt starts and stops, and then it turns out he was tracking his coordinates, and prints out a heart-shaped picture for his wife. First, it looks like he was cutting way too sharply for the picture to be heart shaped. The route looks triangular.

Second, did anyone notice how rundown and shabby his house and neighborhood are? You get the sense he has been doing stunts like this all during the marriage, and not working on being a provider, and that's why they live on twelve hundred dollars a month Social Security, instead of a decent pension because dude could never keep a job long enough to build up a pension.

 

JFC dude.

 

[The General 24,548]

4 hours ago, Plorfu said:

All of the Untuckit shirt commercials are stupid.  The recent one where a guy goes home for the holidays and reconciles with his father over shirts is even more awful than the others.  These things are marketed like they solved an actual problem. 

OMG THIS SHIRT BRIDGES GENERATIONS!!@#

The one with the guy who started the company walking in slow mo in NYC talking about how making a shirt that you can untuck being his life passion is so bad.

Dude you made a shirt that is cut short

 

[heckmanm 4,393]

4 minutes ago, The General said:

The one with the guy who started the company walking in slow mo in NYC talking about how making a shirt that you can untuck being his life passion is so bad.

Dude you made a shirt that is cut short

 

And you're charghing 90 ####### dollars for it!!

[Vanilla Guerrilla 935]

5 hours ago, Plorfu said:

All of the Untuckit shirt commercials are stupid.  The recent one where a guy goes home for the holidays and reconciles with his father over shirts is even more awful than the others.  These things are marketed like they solved an actual problem. 

OMG THIS SHIRT BRIDGES GENERATIONS!!@#

Can't you just buy a shirt that fits right?  Or buy one that is off and spend 10-20 getting it tailored?

[McGarnicle 11,111]

1 hour ago, The General said:

The one with the guy who started the company walking in slow mo in NYC talking about how making a shirt that you can untuck being his life passion is so bad.

Dude you made a shirt that is cut short

 

You can invent just about anything, make a slick commercial and idiots will buy it.

[Chemical X 5,751]

Car commercial with the maybe Asian dad and his 1/2 & 1/2 daughter who may be 16, may be 26, may be Asian and seemingly has no idea how to drive, as she is distracted by star wars stuff she is hallucinating about.  The car stops on its own and Asian dad says it stopped for you!  If my daughter was distracted and couldn't figure out how to stop at a red light with cars in front of her, I would take her license right there and make her walk home.

[Walking Boot 8,296]

On 12/4/2017 at 0:20 PM, Tom Servo said:

On 12/4/2017 at 5:39 AM, fruity pebbles said:

Here’s Trumpy bear if anyone hasn’t seen it. There’s no way any commercial or product is worse.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i9qv8RSreIM

That’s gotta be shtick. Gotta be.  

 

Probably the same company that made the Obama commemorative plates.

[shuke 22,612]

On 12/5/2017 at 1:15 AM, Encyclopedia Brown said:

First, it looks like he was cutting way too sharply for the picture to be heart shaped. The route looks triangular.

 

What?

[shuke 22,612]

18 hours ago, Plorfu said:

All of the Untuckit shirt commercials are stupid.  The recent one where a guy goes home for the holidays and reconciles with his father over shirts is even more awful than the others.  These things are marketed like they solved an actual problem. 

OMG THIS SHIRT BRIDGES GENERATIONS!!@#

Holy #### that is horrible.

[Chemical X 5,751]

I have been making up my own words to holiday road;

if I hear this thing just one more time, whoaaaaaa

the next thing I do is commit a crime, whoaaaaaaa

gonna behead someone somewhere, whoaaaaaaaaaaa

locked up in prison, well I don't care, whoaaaaaaaaa

[NorvilleBarnes 3,853]

On 12/15/2017 at 7:32 AM, heckmanm said:

The Verizon d-bag is pretty awful across the board, but the Asian kid in the gift-wrapping spot saves it with his Larry David face at the end.

This one really baffles me. Normally companies try to present their competition as incompetent morons. Verizon is saying this idiot - the guy who can't even work tape - this is us. 

[Jayrok 3,667]

The perfume commercial with Natalie Portman.  

 I Love yo-- PROVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! 

"And you.. what would you do for love?"

 

I would find someone who wouldn't stab me in my sleep, you pretentious #####.  

 

[NorvilleBarnes 3,853]

On 11/27/2017 at 1:57 PM, Tackling Dummies said:

Samsung wants sooooo badly to be Apple in latest commercial

I actually like that one. Good music and several brief scenes that highlight the difference between your product and your competition. I don't need to see it 50 times, but overall that's how it should be done.

[NorvilleBarnes 3,853]

On 10/25/2017 at 11:49 AM, Chemical X said:

Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch Apple Strawberry TV Commercial, 'Fishing'

On a father-daughter fishing trip, the duo pokes fun at each other. The girl tells her dad, who's eating a bowl of Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch, that his crunching is scaring away all the fish. Despite his noisy chewing she ends up catching one, but it's so small her dad jokes that they'll be eating cereal for dinner.

Playing Warren Zevon's Werewolves on London on loop in the background makes this interaction even more dopey.  What does the song have to do with this dopey ad?

It’s about a really well-dressed, ladies’ man, a werewolf preying on little old ladies. In a way it’s the Victorian nightmare, the gigolo thing. The idea behind all those references is the idea of the ne’er do-well who devotes his life to pleasure: the debauched Victorian gentleman in gambling clubs, consorting with prostitutes, the aristocrat who squanders the family fortune. All of that is secreted in that one line: “I’d like to meet his tailor.” ~Jackson Browne

Holy crap now I LOVE that commercial.

[Bull Dozier 3,585]

On 12/14/2017 at 9:32 PM, The General said:

It boggles my mind the amount of money, planning, people, approvals, that companies go through to come up with a giant turd like these MasterPass commercials that are playing with Joe Montana throwing the vase into the wall. 

It's like they made it up in a few minutes. It's not even remotely clever, funny or informative.

What I have decided is the worst thing about this commercial is that get one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history and he looks like he has never thrown a ball in his life with that follow through.

[mr. furley 12,291]

this stupid commercial where the girl starts doing ballet in the middle of a snowy sidewalk, then bumps in to a guy who joins her in interpretive dance

gtfo with this ####

[Yankee23Fan 9,376]

Every cologne and perfume commercial. Every single one of them.

[Josie Maran 2,311]

Every jewelry store commercial. Every single one of them.

[Jayrok 3,667]

3 minutes ago, Josie Maran said:

Every jewelry store commercial. Every single one of them.

Oh yes.  From November through February 14 they just bombard us with these ridiculous diamond commercials.  "You need to buy your gf/wife a diamond or you're a monster!"  

Hey, buy two.. one for your lover and one for your best friend...  a two diamond set for when your best friend is your true love.  BARF BARF BARF FART BARF

And that Wang woman tells us "love is a diamond."     

[Osaurus 9,066]

11 minutes ago, Josie Maran said:

Every jewelry store commercial. Every single one of them.

Chocolate diamond anything.  Just junk.

[Bull Dozier 3,585]

1 hour ago, Yankee23Fan said:

Every cologne and perfume commercial. Every single one of them.

I could watch the one with Julia Roberts where she's in that white dress on a constant loop indefinitely. 

[mr. furley 12,291]

are we just going to pretend like this woman isn't Manute Bol's daughter?

or it just a strange camera perspective?

[Keerock 5,059]

5 minutes ago, mr. furley said:

are we just going to pretend like this woman isn't Manute Bol's daughter?

or it just a strange camera perspective?

You know Manute is black, right?  I mean REALLY black.

[mr. furley 12,291]

12 minutes ago, Keerock said:

You know Manute is black, right?  I mean REALLY black.

i don't know what you're suggesting here

[Keerock 5,059]

5 minutes ago, mr. furley said:

17 minutes ago, Keerock said:

You know Manute is black, right?  I mean REALLY black.

i don't know what you're suggesting here

I think you do.

[Dan Lambskin 13,615]

2 hours ago, Josie Maran said:

Every jewelry store commercial. Every single one of them.

HONEY I LOVE MY JEWELRY YOU SO MUCH IM GONNA TRY TO BLOW YOU RIGHT ON THE COUCH WHILE KAYDUHN OPENS HIS PRESENTS

[mr. furley 12,291]

5 minutes ago, Keerock said:

I think you do.

counselor, i object to the leading nature of the question.

[Bull Dozier 3,585]

1 minute ago, mr. furley said:

counselor, i object to the leading nature of the question.

Take it to the lawyer thread, pal.

[kneeshooter 166]

Excited neighbor: Hey man, check out these cool Xmas decorations I got for our yard!

GMC-buying DB: So what? Mine lights up too *hits remote, truck beeps*

EN: Wow, that's awesome, thanks for reminding me how little disposable income I have. You know I had to work extra shifts to pay for these decorations? Just to spread a little Xmas cheer to the neighborhood and my wife and 5 kids. And WTF does your truck have to do with my decorations anyway? See, this is why no one invites you to summer BBQs Jerry, you insufferable jackass. Enjoy your new truck - don't be surprised to find a metal reindeer through the windshield tomorrow morning.

[Andy Dufresne 12,061]

The whole concept of jewelry is absurd...

"Woman! I am so proficient at providing food, shelter, and protection that I have excess time and ability to collect scarce rocks and metals with which to adorn you. LAY WITH ME!"

[Bull Dozier 3,585]

34 minutes ago, kneeshooter said:

Excited neighbor: Hey man, check out these cool Xmas decorations I got for our yard!

GMC-buying DB: So what? Mine lights up too *hits remote, truck beeps*

EN: Wow, that's awesome, thanks for reminding me how little disposable income I have. You know I had to work extra shifts to pay for these decorations? Just to spread a little Xmas cheer to the neighborhood and my wife and 5 kids. And WTF does your truck have to do with my decorations anyway? See, this is why no one invites you to summer BBQs Jerry, you insufferable jackass. Enjoy your new truck - don't be surprised to find a metal reindeer through the windshield tomorrow morning.

Everytime I see that I think of how dumb the truck buyer is. 

Ornament neighbor: Look at this, I spent several hundred dollars on cheap crap and saved a few hundred dollars because they were on sale.

Truck neighbor:  Ha, that's nothing. I spent $50,000 plus on a brand new vehicle, saved a couple thousand dollars while doing so, and it is now worth $10,000 less than what I paid for it just because I drove it off the lot!

[offdee 1,472]

1 hour ago, mr. furley said:

i don't know what you're suggesting here

Something to do with Chocolate diamonds IMO

[mr. furley 12,291]

1 hour ago, kneeshooter said:

Excited neighbor: Hey man, check out these cool Xmas decorations I got for our yard!

GMC-buying DB: So what? Mine lights up too *hits remote, truck beeps*

EN: Wow, that's awesome, thanks for reminding me how little disposable income I have. You know I had to work extra shifts to pay for these decorations? Just to spread a little Xmas cheer to the neighborhood and my wife and 5 kids. And WTF does your truck have to do with my decorations anyway? See, this is why no one invites you to summer BBQs Jerry, you insufferable jackass. Enjoy your new truck - don't be surprised to find a metal reindeer through the windshield tomorrow morning.

username checks out

[Jayrok 3,667]

58 minutes ago, Bull Dozier said:

Everytime I see that I think of how dumb the truck buyer is. 

Ornament neighbor: Look at this, I spent several hundred dollars on cheap crap and saved a few hundred dollars because they were on sale.

Truck neighbor:  Ha, that's nothing. I spent $50,000 plus on a brand new vehicle, saved a couple thousand dollars while doing so, and it is now worth $10,000 less than what I paid for it just because I drove it off the lot!

Plus, I got a brand new $550 per month payment... so HA, jokes on you, peasant! 

[Josie Maran 2,311]

3 hours ago, mr. furley said:

are we just going to pretend like this woman isn't Manute Bol's daughter?

or it just a strange camera perspective?

Maybe Shawn Bradley?

[Hov34 4,820]

2 hours ago, Andy Dufresne said:

The whole concept of jewelry is absurd...

"Woman! I am so proficient at providing food, shelter, and protection that I have excess time and ability to collect scarce rocks and metals with which to adorn you. LAY WITH ME!"

 

Everyone probably knew this but:

Diamonds are a Scam.

 

[mr. furley 12,291]

2 hours ago, Josie Maran said:

Maybe Shawn Bradley?

seems improbable

[Vanilla Guerrilla 935]

6 hours ago, mr. furley said:

are we just going to pretend like this woman isn't Manute Bol's daughter?

or it just a strange camera perspective?

Maybe one of those cloners from Kamino in the Star Wars prequels?

[Keerock 5,059]

41 minutes ago, mr. furley said:

3 hours ago, Josie Maran said:

Maybe Shawn Bradley?

seems improbable

i don't know what you're suggesting here

[Buckna 1,465]

8 hours ago, Bull Dozier said:

I could watch the one with Julia Roberts where she's in that white dress on a constant loop indefinitely. 

That one is horrible, she looks fake as #### with her giant chompers fake smile.

Now at least Charlize Theron is in skimpy clothing and rolling around in water in her commercial.

[Buckna 1,465]

8 hours ago, Josie Maran said:

Every jewelry store commercial. Every single one of them.

This new Pandora jewelry one is particularly obnoxious. starts out with chicks leaving notes in their dudes pockets and stuff with pictures of rings and other crap. Ends with:

Guy: Here is the red cooking pot I bought you for Christmas

Girl: disappointed shrug and angry look

Guy: open it

Girl: puts expensive ### jewelry on and twirls it around her face while leaning back on the couch.

Instead it should end with...

Guy: "go cook me something with your new red pot you spoiled #####!"

Edited December 19, 2017 by Buckna

[Al Czervik 330]

6 hours ago, mr. furley said:

are we just going to pretend like this woman isn't Manute Bol's daughter?

or it just a strange camera perspective?

That one bothers me.  #### you you little Veruca Salt wannabe.

[mr. furley 12,291]

34 minutes ago, Buckna said:

 she looks fake as #### with her giant chompers fake smile.

if i ever hear you talking bad about Julia Roberts again it's gonna be you with fake chompers, fella   

[[scooter] 14,072]

8 hours ago, mr. furley said:

are we just going to pretend like this woman isn't Manute Bol's daughter?

or it just a strange camera perspective?

She has Mickey Mouse arms.