What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

My wife is really smart (1 Viewer)

bostonfred

Footballguy
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question".

Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.

 
I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

 
My wife comes into my office today and says "I (She) lost the sewing kit after i (she) rearranged the closet last month. Do you know where it is?"

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question".

Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
ooof. I remember someone posted a site that was a live showing of what people were searching on a particular search engine, and there were a bunch of examples like this. We were all wondering who these people were that would do this. I guess the answer was our your wives.
 
Today the wife and I were in the supermarket and the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' came over the Muzak. I started doing everything in slo-mo...pushing the cart, grabbing stuff off the shelves etc. When we came to the end of an aisle I threw my hands up in the air like I was crossing the finish line.

She didn't think I was funny.

 
Playing Taboo with another couple. My wife gives the clue "She's a famous volleyball player". Her best friend just stares at her, and says, you know a famous volleyball player? Wait... Mia Hamm.

How am I supposed to compete with that?

 
I've met up with a few FBGs over the years, but I hate telling my wife about it. She refers to them as "boy dates". I don't have the slightest interest in telling her what we call them.

 
I've met up with a few FBGs over the years, but I hate telling my wife about it. She refers to them as "boy dates". I don't have the slightest interest in telling her what we call them.
what do you call it when she goes out with her friends? tell her at least you're not going to the mall to run up huge bills.
 
Playing Taboo with another couple. My wife gives the clue "She's a famous volleyball player". Her best friend just stares at her, and says, you know a famous volleyball player? Wait... Mia Hamm. How am I supposed to compete with that?
So Mia Hamm was the right answer?
 
We were at the Met in NYC, and grabbed a paper map from the info desk. We walked about 50 feet as she opened it up. She looked at me, confused, then asked...

"Where's the 'You Are Here' dot?"

:wall:

 
I will never use the term "fantasy football" again. From now on, it is "magic football".

 
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question".

Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
I just said this to my better half and she deadpans and says, "I've done that." :bow:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Today the wife and I were in the supermarket and the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' came over the Muzak. I started doing everything in slo-mo...pushing the cart, grabbing stuff off the shelves etc. When we came to the end of an aisle I threw my hands up in the air like I was crossing the finish line. She didn't think I was funny.
See, and this is why I married so well. My wife busted out laughing at this when I read it to her. She'd think that was hilarious!
 
Today the wife and I were in the supermarket and the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' came over the Muzak. I started doing everything in slo-mo...pushing the cart, grabbing stuff off the shelves etc. When we came to the end of an aisle I threw my hands up in the air like I was crossing the finish line. She didn't think I was funny.
:lmao:
 
3 years ago when my wife and I started dating I took her to a Texas Longhorns game. It was one of Colt McCoy's first games as a starter and he tried to run on a play but failed miserably. My wife throws her arms up in frustration and yells "Who does he think he is, Vince Vaughan?!?"

 
My wife is like that. She graduated 3rd in her HS class, went on to get her BSN, and now does configuration on healthcare software. Incredibly intelligent. But occasionally when we talk I feel like I'm having a conversation with someone who is living on another planet.

 
While watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire a few years back, in response to some question about Joan of Arc, my ex-wife ponders the name and says, "Joan of arc... Joan of Arc... Noah's wife?" Then, in response to my deadpan stare, she said, "Tarzan's wife?"

 
My wife is like that. She graduated 3rd in her HS class, went on to get her BSN, and now does configuration on healthcare software. Incredibly intelligent. But occasionally when we talk I feel like I'm having a conversation with someone who is living on another planet.
How do you think SHE feels?
 
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question".

Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
I just said this to my better half and she deadpans and says, "I've done that." :lmao:
I just showed this to my wife and asked her what is stupid about that. She told me. I still don't think it's that stupid.
 
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question". Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
is she being paid by google to click on ads?
 
I'm watchin' the news and the weatherperson says that we are gonna' get quite a bit of snow.

I tell my wife that there will probably be 6 to 8 inches of snow tonight.

Her response, "Yea right. I'll be lucky to see 4 inches".

 
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question".

Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
I just said this to my better half and she deadpans and says, "I've done that." :P
There was a few women at my last job who would do this. One would always ask me to look up stuff online for her because she could never find stuff online. I tried to show her something on amazon once. As I was walking over to her desk I told her to go to amazon.com. Sure enough she opened up IE, typed in google.com, then entered "amazon.com" as her search.She would also do searches by typing her search phrase into the address bar, no wonder she could never find anything.

 
Today the wife and I were in the supermarket and the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' came over the Muzak. I started doing everything in slo-mo...pushing the cart, grabbing stuff off the shelves etc. When we came to the end of an aisle I threw my hands up in the air like I was crossing the finish line. She didn't think I was funny.
marry me?
 
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question".

Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
I just said this to my better half and she deadpans and says, "I've done that." :blackdot:
There was a few women at my last job who would do this. One would always ask me to look up stuff online for her because she could never find stuff online. I tried to show her something on amazon once. As I was walking over to her desk I told her to go to amazon.com. Sure enough she opened up IE, typed in google.com, then entered "amazon.com" as her search.She would also do searches by typing her search phrase into the address bar, no wonder she could never find anything.
I hear you - my gf's mother will search for arts and crafts stuff or recipes for her class on Google. But rather than put in "paper mache snowman" she will enter "I want to know how to make paper mache snowmen" or "How can I make chocolate chip cookie recipes for my students tomorrow." She doesn't get the concept of key words, but she is one hell of a cook/baker, so I don't question the methods or the madness.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I hear you - my gf's mother will search for arts and crafts stuff or recipes for her class on Google. But rather than put in "paper machete snowman" she will enter "I want to know how to make paper machete snowmen" or "How can I make chocolate chip cookie recipes for my students tomorrow." She doesn't get the concept of key words, but she is one hell of a cook/baker, so I don't question the methods or the madness.
It may be time to end it with the girl. If you get married, and your mother in law commonly googles machetes, it's too late.
 
Today the wife and I were in the supermarket and the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' came over the Muzak. I started doing everything in slo-mo...pushing the cart, grabbing stuff off the shelves etc. When we came to the end of an aisle I threw my hands up in the air like I was crossing the finish line. She didn't think I was funny.
lol She's lucky as BSR would have sung to you while you were doing that, making up words to Chariots of Fire. Yeah, I'm proud.
 
I hear you - my gf's mother will search for arts and crafts stuff or recipes for her class on Google. But rather than put in "paper machete snowman" she will enter "I want to know how to make paper machete snowmen" or "How can I make chocolate chip cookie recipes for my students tomorrow." She doesn't get the concept of key words, but she is one hell of a cook/baker, so I don't question the methods or the madness.
No kidding. If she can make a snowman out of a paper knife then there's no end to her abilities!
 
I hear you - my gf's mother will search for arts and crafts stuff or recipes for her class on Google. But rather than put in "paper mache snowman" she will enter "I want to know how to make paper mache snowmen" or "How can I make chocolate chip cookie recipes for my students tomorrow." She doesn't get the concept of key words, but she is one hell of a cook/baker, so I don't question the methods or the madness.
It may be time to end it with the girl. If you get married, and your mother in law commonly googles machetes, it's too late.
Haha, agreed. I hit spell check and in went the knife.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
While watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire a few years back, in response to some question about Joan of Arc, my ex-wife ponders the name and says, "Joan of arc... Joan of Arc... Noah's wife?" Then, in response to my deadpan stare, she said, "Tarzan's wife?"
:thumbdown:
 
I'm watchin' the news and the weatherperson says that we are gonna' get quite a bit of snow.I tell my wife that there will probably be 6 to 8 inches of snow tonight.Her response, "Yea right. I'll be lucky to see 4 inches".
ouch.
 
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question". Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
I do that too because that what my browser comes up when i open it. I find it faster and easier to type in amazon and not have to worry about typing www or .com. Of course browsers are now more forgiving than they use to be and act like a search engine. Before if you did not type it exactly correct, you were SOL. But out of habit, i sometimes still use google to get the link even though I know the website.
 
Watching the game the other day, she asks me, "Why is that guy holding up a D and a fence? Never mind. I answered my own question". Tonight, I walk in on her using her computer. She's searching for amazon.com on Google.
:excited:
 
This thread has me cracking up, literally. The funniest part is that the experiences are mostly recent.

 
My ex-wife once asked me how many days in a year there were. No talk of leap-year or anything beforehand. Pretty brutal.

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top