"I wish I were dead.'' — Jerry Sandusky in May 1998.
Two detectives from local police agencies overheard former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky admit to the mother of an 11-year-old boy that Sandusky gave her son a naked bear hug while taking a shower in a campus locker room.
"I was wrong," Sandusky said, according to a Pennsylvania grand jury document released Saturday. "I wish I could get forgiveness. I wish I were dead."
That cry for help came 13 years ago. Nobody heard it.
For reasons that remain inexplicable, no charges were filed after that investigation and nothing changed, so Sandusky was free to allegedly prey on more innocent boys.
For reasons Joe Paterno will have to live with forever, Sandusky kept his job and JoePa kept wearing his trademark, thick-rimmed glasses that apparently allowed him to see only what he wanted.
Sandusky, 67, was released on $100,000 bail after being arraigned on 40 criminal counts related to charges he sexually abused eight boys. Penn State athletic director Tim Curley and university administrator Gary Schultz face counts of perjury and failure to report child abuse. Significant by his absence in the indictment is Paterno, the most powerful man on campus who might have stopped the accused serial pedophile on his staff by working more aggressively with police.
Neither Paterno nor anybody else in authority did. As a result, Happy Valley has become Creepy Valley.
Paterno's head-in-the-sand approach permitted Sandusky to take along a teenager identified as Victim 4 on bowl trips the two football seasons following the '98 investigation, including to San Antonio for the 1999 Alamo Bowl in plain view of university personnel. It was in a hotel room there, according to the attorney general's disturbing 23-page "finding of fact," that Sandusky threatened to send the boy home if he didn't succumb to his sexual advances. Sick.
Undeterred, Sandusky continued the pattern after retiring when, in 2000, a janitor reported to a superior seeing the coach alone in the showers of the football facility with a young boy — Victim 8. No charges resulted and Sandusky still enjoyed his all-access privileges on campus.
In a town fueled by college football, nobody dared disgrace an acolyte of Paterno, especially a man who opened a home for troubled boys in 1977 under the ruse he wanted to help them.
Excuse me while I puke.
All the prior knowledge of Sandusky's predatory tendencies only makes a March 2002 incident, the one with facts damning enough to end the Paterno Era, the hardest to fathom. Around 9:30 on a Friday night, a Penn State graduate assistant walked into the football locker room where he observed a boy he guessed was 10 being sexually assulted by Sandusky.
The shocked grad assistant quickly left, called his dad and went to Paterno's house the next morning. Paterno waited 24 hours to meet with Curley. The grand jury narrative doesn't mention Paterno urgently calling law enforcement or trying to learn who the boy was so he could inform his parents. It describes Paterno, then 75, following protocol. Not until a week and a half later was the graduate assistant summoned to retell the horrific tale to Curley and Schultz.
Paterno dodged legal jeopardy by reporting the allegation to his superior. Ethically, Paterno stained a Hall of Fame career by not getting police involved after hearing a friend and ex-colleague with a history of allegations accused of raping a boy no older than one of JoePa's grandsons.