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Jose Canseco is probably the 2nd most pathetic twitter user (1 Viewer)

T

Tiger Fan

Footballguy
Worth a follow for the comedy (just sad) link alone. I don't think it's schitck

Sorry for the formatting:

Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

2013 is going to be our haters!! the best is yet to come.

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

if anyone wants to make my new years resolutions true or can help me with any of these deals contact my manager joemelendez@msn.com.

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

10. Use position as A List entertainer doing reality, TV, movies, blogs, columns, appearances to be able to do more charity

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

9. Do at least 100 promotional deals for good companies and products like Animal Rights, Human health, Environmental, and Beer companies

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

8. Write a third book and do a move deal for Juiced!

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

7. Become a world class entreprenur and found at least two great companies that make peoples lives better and funner

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

6. Get elected to a important political office in the U.S. or canada to help all people and governments with there problems

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

5. develop and launch Ponce de CAnseco a real anti aging drink

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

5. Fight Shaq in MMA cage match

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

4. return to pro baseball as player or manager and have dinners with McGwire, La Russa, Bonds, and Selig.

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

3. help people who are getting screwed wherever i can

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

2. get stronger and fitter

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

1. spend more time with my daughter

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1 Jan Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

Here are my new years resolutions top ten what are yours

 
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This event easily fills an MLB stadium:

Canseco stands in deep center wearing his old A's uniform, arms tied to his sides. Some retired pitcher stands on the mound, say John Rocker or Mitch Williams. Then you have a bunch of retired sluggers come to bat, home-run derby style, except they're trying to hit the ball off Canseco's head. Whenever it happens, a new graphic comes on the screen, like Speedy Gonzalez saying "Aye Dios mio" or maybe a Cheech & Chong clip. If the ball caroms off his head and over the fence, fireworks go off, the batter takes a slow lap around the bases, and everyone in the crowd loses their minds. After 2 hours or when Jose loses consciousness, an 80's hair band comes out and plays a set, say Cinderella or Warrant.

Let's say this tours the country for 20 or 30 dates, how does it not make a billion dollars?

 
Hey "played" a couple months here in Worcester, MA in the Can-Am professional baseball league this past summer. Only hit one home run and kind of decided not to play anymore. Everyone was excited in Worcester to see the big star come and play! What a disappointment. He was actually booted from playing in Mexico due to steroid testing before going to MA.

His stats playing against probably the lowest level of professional baseball:

20 games, 5 runs, 14 hits, 1 homerun, a .194 batting average

Nice.

 
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this gotta be an effin' joke/shtick account, no?

I know the guy is a grade-A numb nutz, but that drivel is one mofo of a :tfp:

Considers himself an A list celeb? :lmao:

"do promotions for good companies like animal rights, human health, environmental and BEER" :lmao: :lmao:

... and running for political office ... Canada is an option :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Just ... wow.

 
'otb_lifer said:
this gotta be an effin' joke/shtick account, no?I know the guy is a grade-A numb nutz, but that drivel is one mofo of a :tfp: Considers himself an A list celeb? :lmao: "do promotions for good companies like animal rights, human health, environmental and BEER" :lmao: :lmao: ... and running for political office ... Canada is an option :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Just ... wow.
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I really don't think so :shrug:
 
He said he was going to run for mayor of Toronto. He's neither a Canadian citizen or Toronto resident but he said he'd work out the "citizenship issues". He's finally realized he can't but I'm sure a cat will walk by or something and he'll forget all about it

 
No shtick, that's Jose. Best follow on twitter, told everyone on my feed when was posting all that crap they were missing something special. He's a hoot to follow, big fan :thumbup:

THIS IS WHAT THE INNERNETS WAS INVENTED FOR PEOPLE!

 
No shtick, that's Jose. Best follow on twitter, told everyone on my feed when was posting all that crap they were missing something special. He's a hoot to follow, big fan :thumbup:

THIS IS WHAT THE INNERNETS WAS INVENTED FOR PEOPLE!

 
'Tiger Fan said:
'otb_lifer said:
this gotta be an effin' joke/shtick account, no?

I know the guy is a grade-A numb nutz, but that drivel is one mofo of a :tfp:

Considers himself an A list celeb? :lmao:

"do promotions for good companies like animal rights, human health, environmental and BEER" :lmao: :lmao:

... and running for political office ... Canada is an option :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Just ... wow.
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I really don't think so :shrug:
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:goodposting: He's very serious about all this. I find him somewhat interesting as far as these Kardashian types go, he says some unintentionally hilarious things like you already posted. He does have credibility though, everyone doubted this guy and most of what he's claimed has come out as true. I think that's why people will listen to him.

ETA: My link :lmao:

ETA 2: ‏@JoseCanseco 5 Dec

"Time is of hour glass so is our days of the lives"

 
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... still contend that the high volume FB/Twitter posters gotta be somewhat blow fueled ... I know that if those mediums existed back in the days I was "running", it would have been a massive effin' FAIL on my part. :coffee:

 
'beer 302 said:
No shtick, that's Jose. Best follow on twitter, told everyone on my feed when was posting all that crap they were missing something special. He's a hoot to follow, big fan :thumbup: THIS IS WHAT THE INNERNETS WAS INVENTED FOR PEOPLE!
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Thank you for the sanity. It's ###### hilarious.
 
Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCanseco

Hey @DaneCook thanks for the follow you are the 1988 Jose Canseco of comedy and i was you now then

 
'Tiger Fan said:
9. Do at least 100 promotional deals for good companies and products like Animal Rights, Human health, Environmental, and Beer companies
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
'Encyclopedia Brown said:
'Please See Mine said:
Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoHey @DaneCook thanks for the follow you are the 1988 Jose Canseco of comedy and i was you now then
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I would love to have heard any conversation between Canseco and Rickey Henderson, regardless of topic.That has got to be comedy gold.
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There has to be a transcript somewhere, they played together for five or so years. Maybe Jaime Quirk has one, let's find him on the innerwebs and ask!
 
'Doctor Detroit said:
'Encyclopedia Brown said:
'Please See Mine said:
Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoHey @DaneCook thanks for the follow you are the 1988 Jose Canseco of comedy and i was you now then
Click to expand...
I would love to have heard any conversation between Canseco and Rickey Henderson, regardless of topic.That has got to be comedy gold.
Click to expand...
There has to be a transcript somewhere, they played together for five or so years. Maybe Jaime Quirk has one, let's find him on the innerwebs and ask!
Click to expand...
There must be innumerable stories about those Oakland teams of the late 80's-early 90's.Not just Canseco and Rickey. Dave Stewart and Eckersely had numerous off-the-field transgressions. LaRussa had his issues. I'm guessing even Carney Lansford has stories to tell.
 
'Doctor Detroit said:
'Encyclopedia Brown said:
'Please See Mine said:
Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoHey @DaneCook thanks for the follow you are the 1988 Jose Canseco of comedy and i was you now then
Click to expand...
I would love to have heard any conversation between Canseco and Rickey Henderson, regardless of topic.That has got to be comedy gold.
Click to expand...
There has to be a transcript somewhere, they played together for five or so years. Maybe Jaime Quirk has one, let's find him on the innerwebs and ask!
Click to expand...
Is "transcript" really even the right word? Do they call whale sounds "transcripts"?
 
Tanenbaum I am willing to suit up for the Leafs opening night if u let kids in free. cant skate 2 good but hit the puck really hard. hugs

 
Just noticed some older gems that I had re-tweeted.

Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoHow is tommorow going to stack up to today. When will then be now and how soon.
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Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoAccidentally squirted on a few girls tonight sorry girls @jamaymac
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Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoHow do u turn back time 2 hours before the lucky lotto numbers are drawn. Figure out lucky numbers and turn back time 2 hours
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Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoIf Colombus had landed on the west coast things in Mass would be hundreds of years newer cmon govt spend money on the people not yourself
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Jose Canseco ‏@JoseCansecoA curse for you liars and haters ,transtu beanu slomo manitude diablo foustious thaed carious pirion.
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This isn't actually from Canseco, but I love it anyway, so what the hell.
Alec Sulkin ‏@thesulkStarting an Eco-friendly air conditioner company and I promise, at AC Green, you'll never get ####ed.
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His twin brother, Ozzie, has an account as well. It is fake, but he makes fun of Jose when he tweets. I love when he makes fun of Jose!

 
If you follow him, you have to follow the Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) too. Or just look up all Iron Sheik's posts that reference him. Not sure what the beef is, but it yields gems like these:even if the @JoseCanseco was 100% Puerto Rican he still big time piece of s##t no good motherf###erThe @JoseCanseco win golden globes for being biggest piece of s##t mexican you are not the @JoseCanseco he live in the dog s##t and so broke he drink the gasoline like a dumb mexican motherf###er for the Valentine's Day the @JoseCanseco deserve to eat dog s##t Those are just from over the weekend. Sheik is on this guy without fail. He also drops some other bombs like :The @Mark_Sanchez I see you in the New York city I beat the f##k out of you suplex you put you in camel clutch on the street f##k yourself Tim Tebow bubba you pray to the Jesus i dont see the Mexican Mark Sanchez that i dont beat the f##k out of him put in camel clutch on street Mark Sanchez win the Oscar for he smell like dog s##t because all he do is lose for greatest city in the world New york The Lance Armstrong tell people he do the drugs I respect he tell truth but stil he have raisin balls and he can go f##k himself Peyton Manning inteligent jew i respect him and the Denver The Denver Broncos Peyton Manning play with the class still he have sex with white women like the RG3Hulk Hogan win golden globes for having smallest raisin balls F##k the Colin Powell he worse than the Joe Webb The constant sports references and bizarre non-sequiturs make him a must-follow even if he does talk WAY too much about f###ing oneself and breaking backs and making people humble.

 
I love how his agent has an msn.com email address All advertisers that meet my standards, email my agent joemelendez@msn.com and I will help you

 
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