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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Not sure why that question made me laugh, but it did.

I wasnt implying anything illegal. If he grows tomatos he probably at least grows basil too but I wanted to confirm

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

Tell us more about these herbs

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

Tell us more about these herbs

Basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, and mint.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

gll

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

Tell us more about these herbs

Basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, and mint.

I knew eat. Good choice on the mint. A lot of people overlook it. I could chee that stuff all day

Sounds like you live in a warm climate to be able to grow all that stuff. Everyones gardens in NY are the same quick growing stuff

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

gll

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

gll

Peas are difficult to grow?

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

gll

This was perfect!!!!!

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

gll

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

I have no idea what this means.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

gll

:lmao::lmao::lmao:
I have no idea what this means.

THAT NOT WHY WERE HERE

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Herbs, peas, strawberries, zucchini, grapefruit, and avocados.

gll

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

I have no idea what this means.

Famous old Rocko thread...

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

Agreed. I was the same way. I just pulled back. I was unable to find joy in anything. Oddly, my closest friends just let me go. Not sure if they thought it was best for me to figure it out on my own, or if they just didn't want to deal with me.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

Agreed. I was the same way. I just pulled back. I was unable to find joy in anything. Oddly, my closest friends just let me go. Not sure if they thought it was best for me to figure it out on my own, or if they just didn't want to deal with me.

Or they didn't understand the problem.

Depression is still the red headed step child...well Mental illness in general.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

Agreed. I was the same way. I just pulled back. I was unable to find joy in anything. Oddly, my closest friends just let me go. Not sure if they thought it was best for me to figure it out on my own, or if they just didn't want to deal with me.

Or they didn't understand the problem.

Depression is still the red headed step child...well Mental illness in general.

As a red headed step child, I really appreciate that.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

Agreed. I was the same way. I just pulled back. I was unable to find joy in anything. Oddly, my closest friends just let me go. Not sure if they thought it was best for me to figure it out on my own, or if they just didn't want to deal with me.

Or they didn't understand the problem.

Depression is still the red headed step child...well Mental illness in general.

Yes. And I don't fault them for that. But what my takeaway from it was that help won't always come from your close friends or family. For me, help came from people who I felt less of a tie to. That's why I always tell people on this site that if they ever need to talk, please IM me. Sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you. You can open up more.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

Agreed. I was the same way. I just pulled back. I was unable to find joy in anything. Oddly, my closest friends just let me go. Not sure if they thought it was best for me to figure it out on my own, or if they just didn't want to deal with me.

Or they didn't understand the problem.

Depression is still the red headed step child...well Mental illness in general.

As a red headed step child, I really appreciate that.

:doh:

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

Agreed. I was the same way. I just pulled back. I was unable to find joy in anything. Oddly, my closest friends just let me go. Not sure if they thought it was best for me to figure it out on my own, or if they just didn't want to deal with me.

Same thing happened to my wife. They just stopped calling. I think they just have no clue how to deal.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Do you grow anything else?

Not sure why that question made me laugh, but it did.

I wasnt implying anything illegal. If he grows tomatos he probably at least grows basil too but I wanted to confirm

I didn't think you were implying anything at all... I just had an mental image of Henry going through all the things he grows like Bubba listing all the ways of preparing shrimp.

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

Care to peel a tomato?

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Mine is actually growing tomatoes. Other stuff, too, but the tomatoes are the big one. They take an excruciatingly long time to develop - months from flowering to having an actual tomato sometimes. I start the vines from heirloom seeds I had shipped from overseas. It's amazing to remember that you can't really tell the difference from day to day, but then one day you actually have a big ol' tomato you can eat, or several.

I started collecting baseball cards. Made me look forward to the release dates of new sets. And the time I spent organizing them and collecting them seemed to relieve a lot of stress.

I know they aren't really going to be worth anything and I'm not doing it to become rich. But figuring out a hobby for myself was a big positive for me.

The key is NOT losing interest in the things you do love to do. In my deepest points, I could barely get out of bed. Didn't want to do anything! Didn't golf, didn't o anything I loved to do, and my wife dragged me along until I could start to climb out of it.

If you start to lose interest in these things, start to sleep all the time, have no appetite, are irritable, these things, you need to talk about it, because it really doesn't just "go away"

Music was always a big part in my getting better

Agreed. I was the same way. I just pulled back. I was unable to find joy in anything. Oddly, my closest friends just let me go. Not sure if they thought it was best for me to figure it out on my own, or if they just didn't want to deal with me.

Or they didn't understand the problem.

Depression is still the red headed step child...well Mental illness in general.

Yes. And I don't fault them for that. But what my takeaway from it was that help won't always come from your close friends or family. For me, help came from people who I felt less of a tie to. That's why I always tell people on this site that if they ever need to talk, please IM me. Sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you. You can open up more.

I agree with this. There is some kind of hidden pressure to get better 'now' because they don't understand if they haven't gone through the same thing. Pressure, expectations, etc are off with a stranger who has been there. Kudos to you for offering your 'ear.'

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Sometimes there is no getting better

Unfortunately this seems to be true.

They know now that emotional trauma can damage the brain just as physical trauma can. Some suffering may have theit brain altered in a way that can never be fixed or manage. Some get no relief from medications or treatment.

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Sometimes there is no getting better

Unfortunately this seems to be true.

I hope your wife is getting social security disability or ssi if she never worked. My cousin just came off state disability and is going for social security disability. She sounds much like your wife with her issues. I'm helping her with it and I can't believe how tough and how long it takes to go through each step. I've read it's harder to get ss disability for mental issues such as my cousin and your wife's vs physical ones where there are definitive xrays and such that absolutely proves the disability.

I feel for you. She is glued to me too only we don't live together. If I don't show up, she goes down worse. Family has cast her off as lazy or the old I've had bad depression/anxiety, what's wrong with you. I'm it.

God bless you for standing by her and for so long. I know it's hard but when you love someone you can't just let them go even if there may be no hope of it getting better. That's just wrong in my book.

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Sometimes there is no getting better

Unfortunately this seems to be true.

I hope your wife is getting social security disability or ssi if she never worked. My cousin just came off state disability and is going for social security disability. She sounds much like your wife with her issues. I'm helping her with it and I can't believe how tough and how long it takes to go through each step. I've read it's harder to get ss disability for mental issues such as my cousin and your wife's vs physical ones where there are definitive xrays and such that absolutely proves the disability.

I feel for you. She is glued to me too only we don't live together. If I don't show up, she goes down worse. Family has cast her off as lazy or the old I've had bad depression/anxiety, what's wrong with you. I'm it.

God bless you for standing by her and for so long. I know it's hard but when you love someone you can't just let them go even if there may be no hope of it getting better. That's just wrong in my book.

Thanks for the kind words. Right now she is not getting any disability. It is so hard to do with mental illness that we have already been told to expect to be rejected and then we'll need a lawyer. So for right now we are muddling through without it. I think it's great what you are doing for your cousin. The SSI stuff is intense. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get it first time.

On the staying thing. It's a little old fashioned but I took a vow. Better or worse, in sickness and in health. I don't make many promises but when I do I keep them. And while it hasn't always been easy I intend to keep that one.

My sincerest best wishes to your cousin.

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Sometimes there is no getting better

Unfortunately this seems to be true.

I hope your wife is getting social security disability or ssi if she never worked. My cousin just came off state disability and is going for social security disability. She sounds much like your wife with her issues. I'm helping her with it and I can't believe how tough and how long it takes to go through each step. I've read it's harder to get ss disability for mental issues such as my cousin and your wife's vs physical ones where there are definitive xrays and such that absolutely proves the disability.

I feel for you. She is glued to me too only we don't live together. If I don't show up, she goes down worse. Family has cast her off as lazy or the old I've had bad depression/anxiety, what's wrong with you. I'm it.

God bless you for standing by her and for so long. I know it's hard but when you love someone you can't just let them go even if there may be no hope of it getting better. That's just wrong in my book.

Thanks for the kind words. Right now she is not getting any disability. It is so hard to do with mental illness that we have already been told to expect to be rejected and then we'll need a lawyer. So for right now we are muddling through without it. I think it's great what you are doing for your cousin. The SSI stuff is intense. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get it first time.

On the staying thing. It's a little old fashioned but I took a vow. Better or worse, in sickness and in health. I don't make many promises but when I do I keep them. And while it hasn't always been easy I intend to keep that one.

My sincerest best wishes to your cousin.

Don't let them scare you. SS wants people not to apply and then they want to reject you. If you have recent medical records from her doctor, like going back a year or two, definitely apply. Even if you don't, apply. They'll have one of their docs check her out. It can take 2 years for the whole final decision. Most are rejected, but you keep at it. There are lawyers/firms that don't get paid (except for like office stuff like faxing, copying etc) unless they win your case, in which then there is back pay that they take out of. There are some injury lawyers that do ss stuff on the side.

We applied in Jan of this year. We got the self questionnaire paperwork to fill out in mid-April. Got notification that their doc needs to check her out in June and so we have an appt on Wed for her mental exam. I anticipate her getting denied, but she can use the money and is disabled so we will roll on.

I was given this website and it REALLY helped me through the process. You can write her story on here and the mod are the ones who went through the nightmare and give excellent advice. Also, there are examples of how to do things at the different stages. I've seen some mental illness cases but I had to do a search for it.

It's painstaking but I think it's worth it. I just can't believe how obvious it is that someone can't do a simple job when their head is a mess and they get denied. Unbelievable, but I highly recommend at least trying.

Here's the website that I spoke about

http://www.ssdfacts.com/forum/index.php?action=forum#1

Edited by CurlyNight
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I think about it almost everyday but I feel it would be a selfish choice, which would cause irreversible damage to my family.

Sorry to hear. Hopefully you've read this thread as there are some good advice in here as well as some folks who have been there.

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I think about it almost everyday but I feel it would be a selfish choice, which would cause irreversible damage to my family.

This is me exactly. I've thought about it more or less constantly since my early 20's, but I know I'll never do it.

Louis CK sums it up perfectly:http://youtu.be/gv3YF4XM6wE

That doesnt sum up anything

It sums up my own feelings on the matter.
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I've suffered from major depression for my entire life but didn't know it until I was 30 or so (42 now). Before that I just thought I was introverted and socially anxious. I am both of those things, but depression is so much more. Medication, counseling, and a lot of hard work have helped quite a bit. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been a godsend.

Still, it's a constant struggle, and, at least for me, the bad thoughts never totally go away. I am constantly fighting off sadness, a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of ability to find "fun" in anything, and a desire to totally shut off from everyone including my wife and kids.

So I'm very appreciative of this thread both for me and for everyone else actively struggling right now, maybe in the beginning of realizing what they have or in the deepest depression spiral, who need to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing and find ways every day to get by.

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I think about it almost everyday but I feel it would be a selfish choice, which would cause irreversible damage to my family.

This is me exactly. I've thought about it more or less constantly since my early 20's, but I know I'll never do it.

Louis CK sums it up perfectly:http://youtu.be/gv3YF4XM6wE

That doesnt sum up anything
It sums up my own feelings on the matter.

Killling yourself just for fun?

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I've suffered from major depression for my entire life but didn't know it until I was 30 or so (42 now). Before that I just thought I was introverted and socially anxious. I am both of those things, but depression is so much more. Medication, counseling, and a lot of hard work have helped quite a bit. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been a godsend.

Still, it's a constant struggle, and, at least for me, the bad thoughts never totally go away. I am constantly fighting off sadness, a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of ability to find "fun" in anything, and a desire to totally shut off from everyone including my wife and kids.

So I'm very appreciative of this thread both for me and for everyone else actively struggling right now, maybe in the beginning of realizing what they have or in the deepest depression spiral, who need to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing and find ways every day to get by.

My therapist has been reccomending cognitive behavioral therapy for a while. I think I pretty much did it pn my own regarding the social anxiety, I no longer get panic attacks in social situations but I do get them when im alone.

How would cognitive therapy help with general depression?

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Part of this thread made me think of an "essay" I read in a book called Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh, which is a hilarious book but also included two very perceptive commentaries on depression. This one, called Depression, Part 2, does a great job of explaining the deadness of parts of depression and an even better job of capturing just how difficult it is to talk about depression with loved ones who don't have it.

EDIT: Figured I should add Depression, Part 1. I don't relate to it as much but maybe others do

Edited by randall146
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Thanks for the kind words. Right now she is not getting any disability. It is so hard to do with mental illness that we have already been told to expect to be rejected and then we'll need a lawyer. So for right now we are muddling through without it. I think it's great what you are doing for your cousin. The SSI stuff is intense. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get it first time.

70% of applicants are denied the first time. You then appeal it, and if denied again you request an Administrative Law Judge (ALJ) hearing, and that usually takes around 10 to 12 months. My SIL is bipolar plus physically disabled, and she was denied twice, but was granted disability by the ALJ. She had an attorney to help in the process. Having doctor support is a key factor in getting disability.

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I've suffered from major depression for my entire life but didn't know it until I was 30 or so (42 now). Before that I just thought I was introverted and socially anxious. I am both of those things, but depression is so much more. Medication, counseling, and a lot of hard work have helped quite a bit. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been a godsend.

Still, it's a constant struggle, and, at least for me, the bad thoughts never totally go away. I am constantly fighting off sadness, a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of ability to find "fun" in anything, and a desire to totally shut off from everyone including my wife and kids.

So I'm very appreciative of this thread both for me and for everyone else actively struggling right now, maybe in the beginning of realizing what they have or in the deepest depression spiral, who need to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing and find ways every day to get by.

My therapist has been reccomending cognitive behavioral therapy for a while. I think I pretty much did it pn my own regarding the social anxiety, I no longer get panic attacks in social situations but I do get them when im alone.

How would cognitive therapy help with general depression?

There are two main parts of it that made a huge difference for me. My experience involved a good psychologist who taught me some of the principles and helped me get started, but also reading and homework to try to apply the concepts to my own life.

1) Part of the theory behind CBT is that you have thoughts, emotions, and physical responses that constantly interact with each other. So your thoughts trigger emotions and physical responses, emotions trigger physical responses and thoughts, etc. For example, I think of a lion. If I have a vivid thought, or see one near me on the plains, I experience the emotion of fear and the physical response of panic. A certain musical interlude could make me sad, which might make me tear up and think of a death in my family or my childhood sled.

One exercise in CBT is to try to journal when you are feeling depressed and identify the physical or thought triggers that got it started. This is useful in the second part of it:

2) Another part of the therapy is to try to identify the "thinking errors" that you automatically return to in a given situation. These could be errors like "catastrophizing" - assuming the worst possible outcome for a given event; or minimizing your own value, or assuming people think you did something wrong, or are judging you, or whatever.

An exercise dealing with this is to try to deconstruct your thinking errors, by identifying the error as you are making it, recognizing the how strongly you believed this and how it made you feel, and then rationally examining the reality of it and recognizing that things weren't as you perceived them.

So an example from my own life today is that my checking account balance is lower than I expected due to having to put some money in my wife's car. In my mind, this is a disaster. My mind instantly goes to all the other things I have to pay for, I don't make enough money, we can't afford our lifestyle, my kids are going to suffer, and on and on. In reality, I'm making a thinking error. It's really not that bad. I still have enough money in my account to cover all my bills until next pay period. I have money I can move over from other accounts temporarily. I can pay people late if necessary. Worst case scenario is I have to charge something or I accidentally bounce a check. None of these things are disasters when I break it down, but without going through the exercises to try to identify thinking errors I'd never get there. Instead my heart would race and my chest would feel heavy and I'd drive along thinking about smashing into a tree because I'm not good enough and never will be.

Then, by combining these two elements, you can try to "reprogram" your connections between your automatic thoughts, your emotions, and your physical responses to try to recognize the depression before it even really starts. For me a big thing was catastrophizing. i now recognize what I'm doing more often and can ask myself to think through what the actually worst case outcome is. Usually it's not nearly as bad as where my mind and emotions were going.

I will say this worked for me because I was willing to give it a shot and I'm a pretty rational thinker. I could see people saying it's a bunch of nonsense, or thinking it was cultlike or something. For me it worked a lot better than laying on a couch and talking about how my mom wronged me when I was 7.

Also, I don't want to make it seem perfect or anything. I'm definitely a work in progress and my mind still takes me all sorts of dark places. But CBT has helped give me tools to deal with my depression if I remember to use them.

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I've suffered from major depression for my entire life but didn't know it until I was 30 or so (42 now). Before that I just thought I was introverted and socially anxious. I am both of those things, but depression is so much more. Medication, counseling, and a lot of hard work have helped quite a bit. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been a godsend.

Still, it's a constant struggle, and, at least for me, the bad thoughts never totally go away. I am constantly fighting off sadness, a lack of enthusiasm, a lack of ability to find "fun" in anything, and a desire to totally shut off from everyone including my wife and kids.

So I'm very appreciative of this thread both for me and for everyone else actively struggling right now, maybe in the beginning of realizing what they have or in the deepest depression spiral, who need to know that there are other people out there that go through the same thing and find ways every day to get by.

My therapist has been reccomending cognitive behavioral therapy for a while. I think I pretty much did it pn my own regarding the social anxiety, I no longer get panic attacks in social situations but I do get them when im alone.

How would cognitive therapy help with general depression?

There are two main parts of it that made a huge difference for me. My experience involved a good psychologist who taught me some of the principles and helped me get started, but also reading and homework to try to apply the concepts to my own life.

1) Part of the theory behind CBT is that you have thoughts, emotions, and physical responses that constantly interact with each other. So your thoughts trigger emotions and physical responses, emotions trigger physical responses and thoughts, etc. For example, I think of a lion. If I have a vivid thought, or see one near me on the plains, I experience the emotion of fear and the physical response of panic. A certain musical interlude could make me sad, which might make me tear up and think of a death in my family or my childhood sled.

One exercise in CBT is to try to journal when you are feeling depressed and identify the physical or thought triggers that got it started. This is useful in the second part of it:

2) Another part of the therapy is to try to identify the "thinking errors" that you automatically return to in a given situation. These could be errors like "catastrophizing" - assuming the worst possible outcome for a given event; or minimizing your own value, or assuming people think you did something wrong, or are judging you, or whatever.

An exercise dealing with this is to try to deconstruct your thinking errors, by identifying the error as you are making it, recognizing the how strongly you believed this and how it made you feel, and then rationally examining the reality of it and recognizing that things weren't as you perceived them.

So an example from my own life today is that my checking account balance is lower than I expected due to having to put some money in my wife's car. In my mind, this is a disaster. My mind instantly goes to all the other things I have to pay for, I don't make enough money, we can't afford our lifestyle, my kids are going to suffer, and on and on. In reality, I'm making a thinking error. It's really not that bad. I still have enough money in my account to cover all my bills until next pay period. I have money I can move over from other accounts temporarily. I can pay people late if necessary. Worst case scenario is I have to charge something or I accidentally bounce a check. None of these things are disasters when I break it down, but without going through the exercises to try to identify thinking errors I'd never get there. Instead my heart would race and my chest would feel heavy and I'd drive along thinking about smashing into a tree because I'm not good enough and never will be.

Then, by combining these two elements, you can try to "reprogram" your connections between your automatic thoughts, your emotions, and your physical responses to try to recognize the depression before it even really starts. For me a big thing was catastrophizing. i now recognize what I'm doing more often and can ask myself to think through what the actually worst case outcome is. Usually it's not nearly as bad as where my mind and emotions were going.

I will say this worked for me because I was willing to give it a shot and I'm a pretty rational thinker. I could see people saying it's a bunch of nonsense, or thinking it was cultlike or something. For me it worked a lot better than laying on a couch and talking about how my mom wronged me when I was 7.

Also, I don't want to make it seem perfect or anything. I'm definitely a work in progress and my mind still takes me all sorts of dark places. But CBT has helped give me tools to deal with my depression if I remember to use them.

Thanks. I may do some more research in to this. Its been twenty years with little progress and im sick of a new medication every year that does nothing.

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I think about this alot too. Dont know why. I have a great life. Always been kind of depressed, never truly happy. Id never do it though. Well maybe if spmething happened to my son.

I think being unhappy is generally normal because life is a struggle. Being unfilfilled drives you tp accomplish things. It becomes depression when it dominates your life and prevents you from functioning normally

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Ive been thinking about trying iodine therapy. Supposedly most people are deficient in iodine and iodized salt only has enpugh to prevent goiter.

You put a few drops of it in water every day and drink it and it can vastly improve physical and mental well being. Anyone have experience with this?

If not I think ill pick up some this week and in the future report my experience.

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I think about this alot too. Dont know why. I have a great life. Always been kind of depressed, never truly happy. Id never do it though. Well maybe if spmething happened to my son.

I think being unhappy is generally normal because life is a struggle. Being unfilfilled drives you tp accomplish things. It becomes depression when it dominates your life and prevents you from functioning normally

Medication alone doesn't do it. You need therapy as well. CBT is great. It changes the way you think which is key with depression and anxiety issues. The key is finding a good therapist that you feel comfortable with and trust. That's the challenging part. You can just keep your psychiatrist for prescribing meds and a therapist for therapy, which I think is cheaper than doing both with a psych, but you could check it out if you have to worry about insurance.

It's a daily struggle even when you feel better. It's like being an alcoholic, you have to take it a day at a time and keep those thoughts and such at bay in addition to hopefully finding a med that works. But again, meds alone won't do it. It gets you to where you can get out of the house to seek help, stabilize you. But then you have to build yourself back up.

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