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Cancer: Formerly about my wife Let’s help each other out


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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Positive vibes coming your way gb

You really need to stay positive, for the both of you.

Glad they found it early, now be aggressive a beat this ####er

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Positive vibes coming your way gb

You really need to stay positive, for the both of you.

Glad they found it early, now be aggressive a beat this ####er

Thanks Wrigley (and everyone!)

Mind if I PM you?

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Sorry to hear this GB. Thoughts and prayers to Mrs. Kee.

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Very small cancerous area (they say the size of half a hang-nail on your pinkie - WTF?)... plus some fibrous areas that are benign, but considered suspicious. Only on one side.

Current plan is to do lumpectomy and reduction plastic surgery. She's still debating on the latter.

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Very small cancerous area (they say the size of half a hang-nail on your pinkie - WTF?)... plus some fibrous areas that are benign, but considered suspicious. Only on one side.

Current plan is to do lumpectomy and reduction plastic surgery. She's still debating on the latter.

GL, GB. You guys caught it early. You got this.

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Early detection is the key. I lost my wife to breast cancer over 17yrs ago. I gotta believe advances have been made since then. Hang in there & stay positive!

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Early detection is the key. I lost my wife to breast cancer over 17yrs ago. I gotta believe advances have been made since then. Hang in there & stay positive!

:eek: Ugh... sorry GB :cry:

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

prayers your way keerock

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Early detection is the key. I lost my wife to breast cancer over 17yrs ago. I gotta believe advances have been made since then. Hang in there & stay positive!

:eek: Ugh... sorry GB :cry:

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Positive vibes coming your way gb

You really need to stay positive, for the both of you.

Glad they found it early, now be aggressive a beat this ####er

Thanks Wrigley (and everyone!)

Mind if I PM you?

Not in the least

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Very small cancerous area (they say the size of half a hang-nail on your pinkie - WTF?)... plus some fibrous areas that are benign, but considered suspicious. Only on one side.

Current plan is to do lumpectomy and reduction plastic surgery. She's still debating on the latter.

I highly recommend breastcancer.org. The best info and forum that has helped me tremendously with my stage III plight. Docs don't have all the info nor have time to give you the entire pic. I learned so much from that site. You really need to do your homework well and be your own pt advocate. Feel free to pm me if you like, and best wishes.

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Just re-read this thread to stay positive... inspired by your story Wrigley and your wife's triumph.

My wife was diagnosed... stage 1ish, so hopefully caught early enough. Trying to stay positive with/for her. Really just want this over with. She the last person on earth who deserves this... :angry::cry:

Wish your wife, you and your family the best.

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Very small cancerous area (they say the size of half a hang-nail on your pinkie - WTF?)... plus some fibrous areas that are benign, but considered suspicious. Only on one side.

Current plan is to do lumpectomy and reduction plastic surgery. She's still debating on the latter.

I highly recommend breastcancer.org. The best info and forum that has helped me tremendously with my stage III plight. Docs don't have all the info nor have time to give you the entire pic. I learned so much from that site. You really need to do your homework well and be your own pt advocate. Feel free to pm me if you like, and best wishes.

Thanks Curly... she's been on there, and there's no stronger advocate than my wife. She's been working doctors/nurses up and down while my MIL has been battling cancer for the last 6 years. It's amazing how much she knows and asks all the right questions.

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Very small cancerous area (they say the size of half a hang-nail on your pinkie - WTF?)... plus some fibrous areas that are benign, but considered suspicious. Only on one side.

Current plan is to do lumpectomy and reduction plastic surgery. She's still debating on the latter.

I highly recommend breastcancer.org. The best info and forum that has helped me tremendously with my stage III plight. Docs don't have all the info nor have time to give you the entire pic. I learned so much from that site. You really need to do your homework well and be your own pt advocate. Feel free to pm me if you like, and best wishes.

Thanks Curly... she's been on there, and there's no stronger advocate than my wife. She's been working doctors/nurses up and down while my MIL has been battling cancer for the last 6 years. It's amazing how much she knows and asks all the right questions.

This is my wife

I've heard Doctors ask her what hospital she works at.

She teaches 7th grade science

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Very small cancerous area (they say the size of half a hang-nail on your pinkie - WTF?)... plus some fibrous areas that are benign, but considered suspicious. Only on one side.

Current plan is to do lumpectomy and reduction plastic surgery. She's still debating on the latter.

I highly recommend breastcancer.org. The best info and forum that has helped me tremendously with my stage III plight. Docs don't have all the info nor have time to give you the entire pic. I learned so much from that site. You really need to do your homework well and be your own pt advocate. Feel free to pm me if you like, and best wishes.

Thanks Curly... she's been on there, and there's no stronger advocate than my wife. She's been working doctors/nurses up and down while my MIL has been battling cancer for the last 6 years. It's amazing how much she knows and asks all the right questions.

This is my wife

I've heard Doctors ask her what hospital she works at.

She teaches 7th grade science

:hifive: My wife gets that question all the time as well. She absolutely knows more than many nurses she's dealt with.

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11 hours ago, Keerock said:

Any experience with lumpectomy/reduction recovery in here?

Sorry. Wish I could help with that. Bilat mastectomies with tissue expanders here. Post this question on the surgery forum on bc.org. Lots of nice folks there. :)

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/91

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  • 2 weeks later...
23 minutes ago, Keerock said:

Back home and recovering.  Surgery was a success, but the first 48 hours afterwards were rough.  Pain managed now.  Waiting on toxicology reports so we can take a breath.

Thanks all for your (continued) T&P.

Hoping for good results, Kee.  Let me know if/when you're heading back to Portland so I can buy you a burger and a beer at Tilt.

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55 minutes ago, Keerock said:

Back home and recovering.  Surgery was a success, but the first 48 hours afterwards were rough.  Pain managed now.  Waiting on toxicology reports so we can take a breath.

Thanks all for your (continued) T&P.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

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Good to hear. Try not to look to far ahead, both you and your wife. It'll become overwhelming if you do. Need to take those deep breaths and take it as it comes, and not analyze. I'm finding much of it is a crap shoot as far as prognosis and the most important thing is to have a savvy oncologist who is at the very least certified. Many are not. Mine is and has a PhD on top so it gives me comfort that she is actively involved in research and on top of all the clinical trials/new meds coming out to help me.

Keep positive no matter what. Sense of humour is also good. Not only it'll help your mind but it'll help both of you heal.

Prayers to you both for the best possible outcome. X

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Cancer sucks. It's great that it was caught early. 

About 8 months ago my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with mets to her liver and stomach. She's very debilitated now. Can't even get out of bed. Unable to eat. It really sucks to watch someone you love die before your eyes and there's literally nothing you can do about it. 

Edited by Gachi
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1 hour ago, Gachi said:

Cancer sucks. It's great that it was caught early. 

About 8 months ago my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with mets to her liver and stomach. She's very debilitated now. Can't even get out of bed. Unable to eat. It really sucks to watch someone you love die before your eyes and there's literally nothing you can do about it. 

Oh man. So sorry to hear. Ts & Ps to her, you,and everyone involved. Can't imagine. :(

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8 hours ago, Gachi said:

Cancer sucks. It's great that it was caught early. 

About 8 months ago my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with mets to her liver and stomach. She's very debilitated now. Can't even get out of bed. Unable to eat. It really sucks to watch someone you love die before your eyes and there's literally nothing you can do about it. 

Sorry to hear that.  I went through this about a year ago.  My biggest mistake was being selfish with my grief.  I didn't ask my kids how they were feeling nearly enough.  

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9 hours ago, Gachi said:

Cancer sucks. It's great that it was caught early. 

About 8 months ago my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with mets to her liver and stomach. She's very debilitated now. Can't even get out of bed. Unable to eat. It really sucks to watch someone you love die before your eyes and there's literally nothing you can do about it. 

### ####, Gachi. I'm so sorry.

This is gonna sound weird, but I'd rather HAVE cancer (& I have) than have a loved one have it. When you have it, you come to terms. It's not bravery or anything, just a kind of pragmatism. For the rest of your support network, it's so ####### frustrating because, as you say, you feel helpless.

There are - or, were, before the Great Purge - of mine when I detailed my thoughts on just ####### quitting. Chemo made me SO sick that I swore I'd never do it again. 

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3 hours ago, Uruk-Hai said:

### ####, Gachi. I'm so sorry.

This is gonna sound weird, but I'd rather HAVE cancer (& I have) than have a loved one have it. When you have it, you come to terms. It's not bravery or anything, just a kind of pragmatism. For the rest of your support network, it's so ####### frustrating because, as you say, you feel helpless.

There are - or, were, before the Great Purge - of mine when I detailed my thoughts on just ####### quitting. Chemo made me SO sick that I swore I'd never do it again. 

Yep. Dec 14 I found out my dad has prostate cancer. Didn't know how bad. Made a pact with God saying please let it be ok for him. I'll take the bullet for him. 6 months later, I'm diagnosed and my dads psa levels are very low now. I'll take it!

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Chemotherapy is just awful. 

After seeing what's it's done to my mother, I will never get that stuff. I'd rather die in 1.5 years than be miserable for 3. 

My mom is getting to that point, I can tell. It's so bad now, she can't walk and can barely talk simply because she's too weak. Yet my dad takes her to chemo every 2 weeks thinking it's doing her some good. He's in denial big time. I can tell he's gonna take her death very hard. But I will be there for him. 

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25 minutes ago, Gachi said:

Chemotherapy is just awful. 

After seeing what's it's done to my mother, I will never get that stuff. I'd rather die in 1.5 years than be miserable for 3. 

My mom is getting to that point, I can tell. It's so bad now, she can't walk and can barely talk simply because she's too weak. Yet my dad takes her to chemo every 2 weeks thinking it's doing her some good. He's in denial big time. I can tell he's gonna take her death very hard. But I will be there for him. 

Please don't paint all chemo with that brush.  The effects do depend on the type and stage of the cancer.  Parents of kids who survived thanks to chemo at St Jude's are probably pretty grateful for it.

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10 hours ago, Gachi said:

Chemotherapy is just awful. 

After seeing what's it's done to my mother, I will never get that stuff. I'd rather die in 1.5 years than be miserable for 3. 

My mom is getting to that point, I can tell. It's so bad now, she can't walk and can barely talk simply because she's too weak. Yet my dad takes her to chemo every 2 weeks thinking it's doing her some good. He's in denial big time. I can tell he's gonna take her death very hard. But I will be there for him. 

I agree, chemo is awful and very harsh. It certainly can be doing more harm than good when you are stage IV. Does your mom want to continue chemo? It should be her decision to make, to keep trying different chemos/meds to see if anything helps or to stop and go on hospice care. It really is up to her first and foremost. I know this lady on breastcancer.org, the site I live on, who we thought was a gonner before Xmas. Nothing was working. She wanted to go on as long as possible despite the horrid debilitating side effects because of her small kids. Otherwise she says she would have checked out many months ago. She kept plucking on and now has a med that is making her feel better. Maybe your mom wants to keep plucking away? A talk with her is in order and she shouldn't feel pressured either way. Cancer is horrid and if her wish is to go on hospice now, your dad should understand and be there for her.

Also, maybe you and your dad could benefit from a support group. I go to a grief support group with my friend who lost her sister to cancer 4 months ago. There's one gal in there that her mom is about to pass at any time now who is getting support/info on how to deal. I had to force my friend to just try it and now 2 sessions later, she's finding it could be beneficial, and to give it time to really see. Maybe if your dad found other people in his situation to talk to other than you or other fam members it could help. Hearing from people you don't know sometimes can help you see better and perhaps accept things.

I feel for you guys. I saw 2 of my friends go through losing their sisters to cancer stage IV, while seeing me diagnosed with bc and fighting. The focus is on the cancer pt of course, but sometimes people forget how tough it is for the loved ones just as much.

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Some positive news...  Pathology came back... identified it as stage 1, only a 1/2 cm cancer removed with adequate margins, lymph nodes negative.  No chemo likely required, just radiation once she heals up from the surgery.

:smallsighofrelief:

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25 minutes ago, Keerock said:

Some positive news...  Pathology came back... identified it as stage 1, only a 1/2 cm cancer removed with adequate margins, lymph nodes negative.  No chemo likely required, just radiation once she heals up from the surgery.

:smallsighofrelief:

Good to hear Kee. Continued positive thoughts to you and your family.

Edited by BroncoFreak_2K3
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48 minutes ago, Keerock said:

Some positive news...  Pathology came back... identified it as stage 1, only a 1/2 cm cancer removed with adequate margins, lymph nodes negative.  No chemo likely required, just radiation once she heals up from the surgery.

:smallsighofrelief:

Have they said what the hormone status is? ER/PR, Her2 and grade? This will all help decide whether chemo will actually benefit her or not. My cousin was stage 1 with small tumour but was grade 3 and had a high ER %. She could have opted out of chemo but decided to throw the book at it. It's really an individual decision once you have all the #s (if you don't have it all yet). Chemo is highly recommended for grade 3 bc regardless of the stage. Stage really these days doesn't mean much. Many stage I go on to IV a few years later and many in stage III stay there. It's all a crap shoot but if she doesn't have the full path info yet I'd wait to diss chemo until you really look at folks who are like yourself, which I do on breastcancer.org.

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1 hour ago, CurlyNight said:

Have they said what the hormone status is? ER/PR, Her2 and grade? This will all help decide whether chemo will actually benefit her or not. My cousin was stage 1 with small tumour but was grade 3 and had a high ER %. She could have opted out of chemo but decided to throw the book at it. It's really an individual decision once you have all the #s (if you don't have it all yet). Chemo is highly recommended for grade 3 bc regardless of the stage. Stage really these days doesn't mean much. Many stage I go on to IV a few years later and many in stage III stay there. It's all a crap shoot but if she doesn't have the full path info yet I'd wait to diss chemo until you really look at folks who are like yourself, which I do on breastcancer.org.

Thanks... I don't know all these answers but the doc indicated chemo was likely not necessary.  Pretty sure she said ER+ and positive BRCA is negative.  Will know more when we meet with oncologist. 

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