Fixed (and hopefully true!).
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Just trying to figure out what is going to give me the fire to put that much effort back into training properly for a race. And I can't find the answer.
The truth is I just really don't enjoy the training enough to justify the time and commitment. I love race day. I love the benefits that come from running. I just don't love.....the running.
I started this journey in October of 2012. I weighed 172 pounds at the time, and I'm not a tall guy so that was the heaviest I have ever been. I now hover around 155 give or take a pound or two - even with the limited running I'm doing at the moment.
It was a lifestyle change at that time, and it has worked. And it's been sustainable. And to be honest I can pretty much sustain 155 at this point. So in the grand scheme of things, I was able to turn my life around over the last 9 years. Which has been great.
But as I see the years available to me over this next chapter of my life, I'm coming to appreciate the value of TIME.
For a guy like me to continue to race, I need to chew up lots of time. To get faster I have to run. A LOT. And at my lack of speed it's gotta be A LOT to ever see gains that are substantial. And I'm not sure with the time I have left on this earth that I want to spend it running and running and running.
I'm 52 years old and in good health. So in theory I should have (based on family history) about 30 years of time left. Seems like a lot. But the last 52 years went in a blink.
So the time I have left needs to go to other things. My kids. My wife. Other passions. New passions. Personal discovery. Personal healing on issues still left under the surface.
I have brothers spread across the country. Step-mom. Other relatives. And the years are shrinking quickly for opportunities to spend time with them. As my kids grow up and leave the nest I want to follow them and help them and visit them and be there for them.
Now, I know running CAN be a part of this. And it certainly will be there for exercise purposes and such. I'm not suggesting I'm going to quit that type of thing.
But for me I think this is it. One last race to close the book on that chapter of my life.