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General Malaise

By General Malaise,
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tommyboy

tommyboy 4,621

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, General Malaise said:

Need to drop 50-80

Granted it's been 13 yrs since I met you fur coffee but if I recall you were about 5-11, 200-210.  Either you ballooned up to 1/4 ton or you want to get back to your 5th grade weight

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Henry Ford

Moo.

Homer J Simpson

HELLO FROM REHAB!!!!   Not sure if anything's been shared but Sunday dinner at my parents' a couple weeks ago was in fact an elaborate ruse to stage an intervention.  Actually it wasn't very

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5-ish Finkle

5-ish Finkle 3,358

Posted
Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

I leave my house at 6:50am and the office at 2:15pm.  I'm back home by 4:08.  I am always "on call".  I also speed walk like a weirdo.

Envisioning this happening after you've switched over to your "walking gear" (i.e. the corndog-eating pants and accompanying accoutrements).

Edited by 5-ish Finkle
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Bob Sacamano

Bob Sacamano 9,985

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, eoMMan said:

Any tips/suggestions on how to talk a wife out buying house that is waaaaaaay bigger than we need?

We have no (nada) kids and two (dos) dogs. Currently live in 3 bed/2 bath house. Gonna move...possibly build...a new house in 3 to 5 years. She wants something like a 4 bed/2.5 or 3 bath plus pool for when family visits. I'm all for the pool but I think that's too much house for two people the majority of the year.

Right? Amirite? Wwyd?

Get a 4 bedroom house that's the exact same size as the 3 bedroom house.  Half a bath won't cost you that much.  Then put piranhas in the pool when she goes for her first swim.

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OrtonToOlsen

OrtonToOlsen 17,820

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, krista4 said:

Think it was in the Anonymous Confessions thread here.

I tried searching for it and there are a lot of references to it but can't find the original post.  That could support your theory since the original "anonymous confession" thread was deleted.

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OrtonToOlsen

OrtonToOlsen 17,820

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, kevzilla said:

I'm cool with anybody transitioning to whatever they need to be. :shrug:

Oh, you meant the presentation. Stuck knitting needles through my eyes half an hour ago. 

I use PPT with my summer school kids basically because I have to.  We're doing an entire year of world history in 26 school days. Pre-canned PPT are the only way I can make sure I cover everything that's going to be on the quizzes and the final.

The presentations were created by the textbook publisher probably 10 years ago obviously for a much older version.  It's pretty hilarious to watch the text fly in and then the background/text boxes.  Sometimes the text will appear in fragments just for fun.

Kar

l

Marx bel

ived 

that the work

 

ers o

f the 

w

or

ld...

Edited by OrtonToOlsen
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El Floppo

El Floppo 28,990

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, OrtonToOlsen said:

I tried searching for it and there are a lot of references to it but can't find the original post.  That could support your theory since the original "anonymous confession" thread was deleted.

Definitely the Anon confessions thread.

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5-ish Finkle

5-ish Finkle 3,358

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9 minutes ago, proninja said:

They say that when a mother is breastfeeding as the only source of food for their newborn, that it acts as birth control that is 99% effective until the child is six months old.

They and their collective families are a ####### dick 

"Twins!!"?

 

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OrtonToOlsen

OrtonToOlsen 17,820

Posted
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8 minutes ago, proninja said:

They say that when a mother is breastfeeding as the only source of food for their newborn, that it acts as birth control that is 99% effective until the child is six months old.

They and their collective families are a ####### dick 

"They" can't be trusted.

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Bob Sacamano

Bob Sacamano 9,985

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, proninja said:

They say that when a mother is breastfeeding as the only source of food for their newborn, that it acts as birth control that is 99% effective until the child is six months old.

They and their collective families are a ####### dick 

Congratulations?

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tommyboy

tommyboy 4,621

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, proninja said:

They say that when a mother is breastfeeding as the only source of food for their newborn, that it acts as birth control that is 99% effective until the child is six months old.

They and their collective families are a ####### dick 

Congrats

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General Malaise

General Malaise 27,539

Posted
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Posted
19 minutes ago, proninja said:

They say that when a mother is breastfeeding as the only source of food for their newborn, that it acts as birth control that is 99% effective until the child is six months old.

They and their collective families are a ####### dick 

Dude, just take your #### off before you mess around and have twins.  

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General Malaise

General Malaise 27,539

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Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, proninja said:

I have actually come to terms with this and am pretty excited. This post was saved from two nights ago when I found out for the first time. 

Facebook friends, we are not out with this yet

How are you not violently angry at sex???  I am furious with it and its family.  I'd rather put my wang in 6 pound bowling ball hole from a seedy alley in Gary Indiana and I've been fixed.  What are you doing????  

Or congrats I guess.  

Edited by General Malaise
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krista4

krista4 25,737

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, proninja said:

They say that when a mother is breastfeeding as the only source of food for their newborn, that it acts as birth control that is 99% effective until the child is six months old.

They and their collective families are a ####### dick 

Yeah, I thought about dispelling that notion for you when you mentioned it, but...ehhhh, seemed like you wanted another kid.  Congrats, GB!

Edited by krista4
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El Floppo

El Floppo 28,990

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, proninja said:

They say that when a mother is breastfeeding as the only source of food for their newborn, that it acts as birth control that is 99% effective until the child is six months old.

They and their collective families are a ####### dick 

Irish twins!

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Sabertooth

Sabertooth 5,975

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I love walking out to let the dogs out the morning after I cut the lawn.  Looks like a golf course.  I used to love golf.  Then I had kids.  Now I golf maybe twice a year.  But I still love how a freshly manicured lawn looks.  

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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,402

Posted
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1 hour ago, Sabertooth said:

I love walking out to let the dogs out the morning after I cut the lawn.  Looks like a golf course.  I used to love golf.  Then I had kids.  Now I golf maybe twice a year.  But I still love how a freshly manicured lawn looks.  

my dog is allergic to grass

grass

 

except, per the vet, fresh cut grass is ok

i love fresh cut grass but perhaps not as much as my dog who just freaks out when the lawn is freshly cut

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Dan Lambskin

Dan Lambskin 13,615

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

It's come to this, huh?  Damn.

It was a run

Maybe we need a good food argument? 

I like my tuna with mayo, salt, pepper and a little dill.  Every other way sucks 

Edited by Dan Lambskin
####### autocorrect
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5-ish Finkle

5-ish Finkle 3,358

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Dan Lambskin said:

It was a run

Maybe we need a good for argument? 

I like my tuna with mayo, salt, pepper and a little dill.  Every other way sucks 

Can we make it a grammar/spelling fight instead?  I already know most of you Philistines have the palate of a Gerber baby.

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Limp Ditka

Limp Ditka 8,962

Posted
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3 minutes ago, Dan Lambskin said:

It was a run

Maybe we need a good for argument? 

I like my tuna with mayo, salt, pepper and a little dill.  Every other way sucks 

Making tuna salad without celery should be a felony

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Dan Lambskin

Dan Lambskin 13,615

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Just now, Limp Ditka said:

Making tuna salad without celery should be a felony

Yeah let's take a delicious soft velvety meaty mayo concoction and throw in some vile crunchy stuff.  Might as well just toss in some onions and relish and sub in miracle whip

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