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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing


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Moo.

HELLO FROM REHAB!!!!   Not sure if anything's been shared but Sunday dinner at my parents' a couple weeks ago was in fact an elaborate ruse to stage an intervention.  Actually it wasn't very

Everybody take a minute tonight (or today) to raise a glass to HeckDad.  My sister just called to tell me that he passed away at home.  Don't have details other than he fell, but he was 94 with a bad

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17 hours ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

Animals are the worst.

We use a big 1 gallon water bowl for our pets https://goo.gl/images/nrnqj9

Everytime it needs to be refilled I make sure I scrub the bowl out really well.  About every other time I make sure I wash out the reservoir part too.

Did all of that earlier today.

5 minutes later I walk by and one of them barfed in it.

 

In some cultures that's considered a compliment.

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1 hour ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

Every year we're supposed to give out a Student the Year award...one kid from each class period per subject.

Every year there are a few teachers that are worried that the same kids will end up with all the awards.  I've never worried about this.  If one kid gets an award in English, Science, and History...good for them.

This morning one of these teachers sent out and email asking all of us who we were giving awards to so she could make sure we weren't giving all of the awards to the same 10-12 kids.

1.  I haven't even begun to decide who I want.

2. I don't care if the awards are spread around.

 

I submitted my names. 

Rock Strongo

Lance Uppercut

Chuck Steak

Horse Renoir

Chex Lemeneu

Oscar Gold

Tilden Katz

Always in contention:

Ben Dover

Doris Closed

Jerry Mander

Robin Droppings

Anne Teak

Warren Pease

Frieda Slaves

Bette Wetter

Tupper Weir

Jenny Side

Jerry Atrick

Jacqueline Hyde

 

Edited by Binky The Doormat
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seent a guy waiting to go up the elevator today to the eye doctor. tall drink of water with a serious hitch in his gait. looked like he was taking his mom up to get her glaucoma checked.

sleeveless shirt, partial arm sleeve tats, pony tail.... and what a gash on his elbow. my god. the thing looked like the eye of Sauron. richly red and untreated :X looked like someone got him with a hand held garden rake and took a 6" swipe out of his arm 30 minutes before. 

as i'm thinking this feller oughta be seeing a physician i notice he has another similar gash on his upper arm, and on his forearm... and hands... and neck......... and his other arm.... and face.... and very few teeth.

i've seen some junkies in my day but none with so many clear, fresh open wounds and several festering untreated sores. the meth got on top of that dude. poor bastard. that's one i'm not gonna be able to forget for a while.

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10 hours ago, kevzilla said:

It's blaze of glory time on Fremont Street. I'm not going to gamble away my entire bankroll, but I'm going to take some swings. 

Hope you're still alive GB

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On 5/13/2018 at 8:04 PM, cosjobs said:

tell them 10. Used to get you morphine, might get you Tramadol now

In the "stupid things I've recently said" department: when I was getting my chipped tooth filled, the dentist asked if I wanted the laughing gas. I said "no."

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6 hours ago, Ignoramus said:

In the "stupid things I've recently said" department: when I was getting my chipped tooth filled, the dentist asked if I wanted the laughing gas. I said "no."

sacre bleu

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8 hours ago, Ignoramus said:

In the "stupid things I've recently said" department: when I was getting my chipped tooth filled, the dentist asked if I wanted the laughing gas. I said "no."

Related: is there anything dumber than a doc or dentist prescribing ibuprofen or acetaminophen?

When I cut my finger open a few weeks ago the nurse came back with two scrips.  One was antibiotics. The other was for ibuprofen.

Me: I don’t need the ibuprofen.

Nurse: You don’t want something for the pain?

Me:  That’s just Advil right?  I’ve got a big bottle at home.

Nurse:  But this is 325mg. (like it’s artisanal)

Me:  Unless it’s got codeine in it or something, I’m good.

Nurse: Are you sure? This way you only have to take one pill instead of 3 or 4.

Me: I’m not a M-Fing toddler, Jessica.  

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Jim Jefferies tonight:

Say we’d known Hitler was going to be born in 1889.  There were 1.7 million kids born in Germany that year.  Would it be morally acceptable to kill all those kids for the greater good? Some people say yes.  

I say no.  Because Hitler was born in Austria. 

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5 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

Jim Jefferies tonight:

Say we’d known Hitler was going to be born in 1889.  There were 1.7 million kids born in Germany that year.  Would it be morally acceptable to kill all those kids for the greater good? Some people say yes.  

I say no.  Because Hitler was born in Austria. 

Speaking of that...

The alternative history novel ”Making History” by Stephen Fry deals with that very same topic.  Pretty fun read.  Not perfect but cool.

If you know how to read, check it out.

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I got a new job, which starts on Monday.  I will be going from working in Big 4 firms and similar types of companies to working for a non-profit.  It's going to be interesting to experience the different corporate culture, but that is one of the reasons I chose this offer over the others, and I'm looking forward to it.  It's also going to be nice to go from making rich people richer to doing some good.  My commute will be much shorter as compared to going to midtown, which is another thing I am really looking forward to.  Rush hour in NYC is not fun.  Keeping it to a minimum has more value than I realized, until I had a commute that took an hour to go about 4 miles.

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20 minutes ago, RC94 said:

I got a new job, which starts on Monday.  I will be going from working in Big 4 firms and similar types of companies to working for a non-profit.  It's going to be interesting to experience the different corporate culture, but that is one of the reasons I chose this offer over the others, and I'm looking forward to it.  It's also going to be nice to go from making rich people richer to doing some good.  My commute will be much shorter as compared to going to midtown, which is another thing I am really looking forward to.  Rush hour in NYC is not fun.  Keeping it to a minimum has more value than I realized, until I had a commute that took an hour to go about 4 miles.

Yesterday's commute from Grand Central looked like a lot of fun

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9 minutes ago, Thorn said:

Yesterday's commute home sucked for everyone in NYC.  My subway train has nothing to do with the delays to Metro-North, but it was delayed too and the subway platform was dangerously crowded.  I'm glad I don't have to go through Grand Central on a daily basis, but when my brother hosts Thanksgiving I have to go through Grand Central to get to his place (and take Metro-North trains).  Yesterday was basically like a typical Thanksgiving day in Grand Central.

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42 minutes ago, badmojo1006 said:

A woman got very mad at a Tim Hortons in Canada.

It's on Deadspin and I won't link to it because it is :X and I probably would get more warning points

from the comments....

 

5/16/18 3:50pm

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

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2 hours ago, Binky The Doormat said:

Mr. Drinks On Me‏ @Mr_DrinksOnMe 1h1 hour ago

My new puppy just bit the neighbor's kid so we had to have it killed.

He was going to tell his parents.

Actually true, When I was about three my dog bit me and then died.

My father called his friend who had a Supermarket and said, "Johnny, the dog just bit my son and he died. Can we keep him in your cold locker over night?"

Johnny replied, "Li'l cos is dead and you want to put him in a meat locker?"

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20 minutes ago, Thorn said:

suddenly want to visit Green Bay

i'm busy that day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

drinking

stop by

Edited by mr. furley
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On 5/15/2018 at 9:56 PM, Officer Pete Malloy said:

Related: is there anything dumber than a doc or dentist prescribing ibuprofen or acetaminophen?

When I cut my finger open a few weeks ago the nurse came back with two scrips.  One was antibiotics. The other was for ibuprofen.

Me: I don’t need the ibuprofen.

Nurse: You don’t want something for the pain?

Me:  That’s just Advil right?  I’ve got a big bottle at home.

Nurse:  But this is 325mg. (like it’s artisanal)

Me:  Unless it’s got codeine in it or something, I’m good.

Nurse: Are you sure? This way you only have to take one pill instead of 3 or 4.

Me: I’m not a M-Fing toddler, Jessica.  

:lol:

"Artisnal"

In the Army for any ailment (toothache, VD, broken clavicle, etc.) they used to give us 800mg ibuprofen. For everything.

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