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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing


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Moo.

HELLO FROM REHAB!!!!   Not sure if anything's been shared but Sunday dinner at my parents' a couple weeks ago was in fact an elaborate ruse to stage an intervention.  Actually it wasn't very

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6 minutes ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

ew

Don't pretend you don't want to see a schlong that's the size of an entire horse.  A large one at that, by thoroughbred standards at least.

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3 hours ago, chet said:

*Points at my Secretariat sized schlong and says there's nothing you could do to hurt me, son.*

:lol: 

This is a weird analogy.  If you had a big schlong it would be easier to hurt you.  

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24 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

This is a weird analogy.  If you had a big schlong it would be easier to hurt you.  

No way. The nuts are the pain center. If you've got a horsepenis, that's like having Shaq as your goalie in lacrosse. 

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Just now, Evilgrin 72 said:

No way. The nuts are the pain center. If you've got a horsepenis, that's like having Shaq as your goalie in lacrosse. 

That's ridiculous.  Nuts are pain center, but there are others.  You take a hockey puck to the glans, you'll drop like a ton of bricks.

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On 5/22/2018 at 10:12 PM, -fish- said:

Second row floor for Taylor Swift.  Buying my 13 year old girl’s love.  Don’t judge.  She’s happy.

Had 5th row for the Backstreet Boys when my daughter was that age

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1 hour ago, Henry Ford said:

I mean, maybe if chet has a giant penis with a tiny, tiny head on it this might be worth a discussion.

 

Chet, does it look like this?

Chet to the white courtesy phone, please. Chet. 

We're going to need you to go ahead and give us a thorough description of your schvantz. Omit no detail, no matter how insignificant it might seem. 

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I forgot to mention this the other day but if you recall the fiasco where my wife broke the faucet and they accidentally shipped us 5 sprayer attachments instead of the correct part, well it’s a good thing I kept some extras because she somehow let one fall into the garbage disposal destroying it

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On 7/26/2017 at 10:27 AM, shuke said:

This is a little long.  Looking for advise.

I can't remember if I discussed this here in the spring.  My son has been doing very well in school for past couple years and my wife and I are sometimes concerned if he is being challenged enough.  He just finished 6th grade and will be entering a 7th/8th junior high this year.  

We did not know this until maybe midway through last year, but his previous school did the initial split between regular college prep and advanced/honors prior to 5th grade.  He was not placed in any advanced classes.  Not a big deal, but he has always been an avid reader and likes to write, so we looked into whether he could be put into advanced language arts for 7th grade.  I talked to his teacher, she said he would do well, etc., so I filled out the form for the request and mailed it in in May. 

School starts Aug 16, but schedules are not viewable online until Aug 10.  I figured we would just wait and see where he was placed.

Well, my son talked to a buddy that has been in the advanced classes for a few years, and I guess the kids received a letter at beginning of summer about summer reading requirements.  

I called the school this week to see if my son was placed in the advanced class and they confirmed.  I asked about this assignment and was told "it was online".  

They have to read some 300+ page book, write a number of pages of notes along the way about different literary devices and interpretation blah blah blah.  

I ordered the book and we should be getting it today.  But I have some concerns.  My son can be prone to some anxiety when being overwhelmed, and his overall disposition is rather crappy because he just got braces last week and he is rather uncomfortable.  

So he has exactly 3 weeks to do this assignment.  I see my options as :

1. Push him to get through this and basically have him lose his last couple weeks of summer to get it done.  

2. Have him do some, but don't worry about getting it done before school starts.  See what happens once school starts.  Maybe call the teacher and see if he can get an extension.  

3. Forget it and put him back in the "regular" class.  Looking at the assignment, I think some of this may be beyond his capabilities.  

 

I want him to be challenged but don't want him to be overwhelmed.  He's already starting two years "behind" the rest of the kids in this class.  

 

Just an update on this.  My son got straight A's all 4 quarters this year and I still don't feel like he was challenged enough.  He has been asked to move up into the advanced Social Studies class for next year and will continue in the advanced English.

Unfortunately we missed the boat on math/science.  

Thanks to everyone for the sound advice to go forward with this and push him a little.  

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7 minutes ago, shuke said:

 

Just an update on this.  My son got straight A's all 4 quarters this year and I still don't feel like he was challenged enough.  He has been asked to move up into the advanced Social Studies class for next year and will continue in the advanced English.

Unfortunately we missed the boat on math/science.  

Thanks to everyone for the sound advice to go forward with this and push him a little.  

If he's crushing it academically, maybe encourage him to get more involved in sports, hobbies, volunteering, learning how to eat a whole cheeseburger in one bite, etc. 

This will help his resume quite a bit when applying for colleges. 

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2 minutes ago, Exit 1 said:

If he's crushing it academically, maybe encourage him to get more involved in sports, hobbies, volunteering, learning how to eat a whole cheeseburger in one bite, etc. 

This will help his resume quite a bit when applying for colleges. 

He's active in scouts and is learning to play drums.  

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3 hours ago, IMAX 3D said:

I forgot to mention this the other day but if you recall the fiasco where my wife broke the faucet and they accidentally shipped us 5 sprayer attachments instead of the correct part, well it’s a good thing I kept some extras because she somehow let one fall into the garbage disposal destroying it

:lmao: JFC

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My neighborhood is weird.  I used to think everyone around me worked from home.   I know of 6 or 7 of the surrounding houses where everyone is home all of the time.  Now...the more I observe I'm not even sure anyone actually works at all.  :unsure:

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@krista4 I'm having a Nicaragua flashback. Someone down the road from my house is shooting off fireworks. 

I think it's one of the houses that uses confederate flags for curtains (there are many here), so Granada wins again!

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29 minutes ago, Uruk-Hai said:

@krista4 I'm having a Nicaragua flashback. Someone down the road from my house is shooting off fireworks. 

I think it's one of the houses that uses confederate flags for curtains (there are many here), so Granada wins again!

Sliding glass front door?  Lots of vehicles parked in the yard?  

Howling, barking dog?  Swing set now an engine hoist?

Unusual car body shop repairs?

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3 hours ago, Uruk-Hai said:

@krista4 I'm having a Nicaragua flashback. Someone down the road from my house is shooting off fireworks. 

I think it's one of the houses that uses confederate flags for curtains (there are many here), so Granada wins again!

On the stairs I smoke a cigarette alone.

 

Mexican kids are shootin’ fireworks below.

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Oh.  The Andrew kid I posted about earlier in the week...the one who went to six flags even though he didn’t qualify...had his graduation appeal “hearing” today.

 

basically if a kid doesn’t qualify to walk across the stage (they still go on to HS) they can appeal and plead their case to a panel of teachers and admins.

I had to be there.  Andrew cried big crocodile tears. I ignored him and busied myself reading his 4 page long “rap sheet”.

Needless to say...it was a unanimous “no” from the panel.

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2 minutes ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

Oh.  The Andrew kid I posted about earlier in the week...the one who went to six flags even though he didn’t qualify...had his graduation appeal “hearing” today.

 

basically if a kid doesn’t qualify to walk across the stage (they still go on to HS) they can appeal and plead their case to a panel of teachers and admins.

I had to be there.  Andrew cried big crocodile tears. I ignored him and busied myself reading his 4 page long “rap sheet”.

Needless to say...it was a unanimous “no” from the panel.

bye andrew.

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7 year old just came down the steps. nobody home in those eyes. mumbled something unintelligible, eyes wide open, sat down on the couch with her blanket and asleep inside of 2 seconds.

guess it's time to bolt the doors and seal the windows shut before she takes a walk around the neighborhood.

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3 hours ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

Oh.  The Andrew kid I posted about earlier in the week...the one who went to six flags even though he didn’t qualify...had his graduation appeal “hearing” today.

 

basically if a kid doesn’t qualify to walk across the stage (they still go on to HS) they can appeal and plead their case to a panel of teachers and admins.

I had to be there.  Andrew cried big crocodile tears. I ignored him and busied myself reading his 4 page long “rap sheet”.

Needless to say...it was a unanimous “no” from the panel.

My money is on Andrew. Dude will "walk".  The age of entitlement and litigation. 

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8 hours ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

On the stairs I smoke a cigarette alone.

 

Mexican kids are shootin’ fireworks below.

Sounds like Dickens. Tastes like chicken

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21 hours ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

Some jerkatron at the bar played 3 Sublime songs I’m a row.  Be ready to contribute to my gofundme bail drive.

GB that jerkatron. He has impeccable taste. 

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22 hours ago, Officer Pete Malloy said:

On the stairs I smoke a cigarette alone.

 

Mexican kids are shootin’ fireworks below.

In Oakley Kansas again tonight

Wishin' there were Mexican kids with fireworks

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22 hours ago, mr. furley said:

7 year old just came down the steps. nobody home in those eyes. mumbled something unintelligible, eyes wide open, sat down on the couch with her blanket and asleep inside of 2 seconds.

guess it's time to bolt the doors and seal the windows shut before she takes a walk around the neighborhood.

you suck at haiku

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9 minutes ago, cosjobs said:

I think he meant perp walk

Oh.  Totally forgot this part.  After Andrew and his mom left (and after we voted) the andmin from the district says “I guess I’ll wait a couple of days before I shake down those parents for the money they owe the cafeteria.”

Between Andrew and his younger brother the bill is over $300.  

 

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In case anyone cares anymore, here's the story of what happened, where I've been, and where I am now...

In October 2015 I was 12 years married with two kids in a largely loveless marriage.  Most of my social interaction, as sad as it seems in hindsight was here in this thread. I traveled twice a month for work and every time I came home, my wife showed no interest in my journeys. Would you like to come along? No.  Over time we got more and more distant to the point where by summer of 16 she told me I was a "disruption to our lives" when I came home.  I was gone for 3 or 4 days at a time travelling to LA for work and she had zero interest in any of it.  I had an entire different network of friends and colleagues and she wasn't interested in that part of my life at all. I ran a 70 million dollar sales org and she didn't even know (or care to know) what I did for a living. Literally had no idea what I did to provide for our family.  We were strangers. Our then-5 year old was still sleeping in our bed.  Our 1.5 year old was in a bed in the master.  My wife and I hadn't had a date in years.  We hadn't been intimate once since our youngest was conceived. Our social circle was her family, full stop. I spent my time at our ranch out in my barn/office chainsmoking and getting drunk.  I would wake up early on Saturday and Sunday before anyone else woke up so I could drive into town and sit in the parking lot at Home Depot smoking and drinking tall boys until lunch when I would begrugingly go back to my from-the-outside-perfect life. 

In the entirety of our marriage she made my relationship with my parents and only sibling more and more divisive. So much so that our time with my nearby family was only a couple hours a year while our time with her family was measured in days and even weeks. I was culpable in this, admittedly.  I allowed it to happen because I was scared to stand up to her. I allowed a lot to happen.  A little at a time, brick by brick, your life becomes out of your control.  At least it did for me.

I wasn't perfect either, I messed up a lot of our financial future in the business I had during our 30's. I owed the IRS 70k and my former business partners another 30. But I NEVER ever cheated on her. 

In October 15 I went on a business trip to Las Vegas and met a young lady from a far off land.  We didn't hook up but we did spend the evening/night running around LV and having fun.  Las Vegas is my favorite place on earth and for 6 hours on a Thursday night I was happy again. (tanner: "gay") She gave me her number.  I texted her the next morning and she replied.  I went home to Texas.  A few days later I texted her again. ANd she texted me back.

In the coming weeks she and I texted a lot. All day every day.  But she lived 3,000 miles away so whatever. No chance anything will happen, right? But I was hooked.  I talked to GB Bentley, GB cosjobs and GB GM about the flirting/talking.

Cos: have some fun, no harm

GM: you are ####ed, and you will know it soon in a hail of fire and brimstone. ####ed to the hilt, Abe. ####ed.

Bentley: wtf, I don;'t even understand the life you lead.

5 weeks later the young lady had a layover in Houston while on vacation. I drove over from Austin and we had lunch. The texting continued.  Unlike many relationships we actually got to know each other through conversation instead of physical presence. We weren't dating, we were chatting and getting to know each other. Three weeks after that I invited her to meet me when I went to NYC for business.  She agreed to join me.

From there, we met every two weeks when I was on my business trips.  I would fly her to meet me in LA, NYC, San Diego, etc..  Very quickly I was madly in love with her, and she with me.

In January her ex-boyfriend came back to woe her.  In February she tried to "break up" with me."I am your mistress and I am breaking up a family and this is wrong. I don't want to see you ever again."  I persisted.

In March I told my wife I was unhappy in our marriage.  Without discussion or interest in "working on things" she threw me out of the house. We wouldn't speak again until about 6 weeks ago. (yes, we didn't correspond from that night in March 16 until just recently). In the interim I will just say "lawyers are expensive."

I persisted with the young lady from far away. I was patient as her ####### ex showed his true colors. I moved into a hotel in Austin. I slept on the couches of friends.  I drank a lot more than normal, more than even the people in this thread would deem excessive.  I posted a little, but never about the details.

In May 16 me and the wife decided to get divorced.  That took until August 17.

I had a meltdown on the boards on election night 16 and have largely been absent since then.  It was due. Sorry about that.  No promise that I'll be around more often but "back then" some of you seemed to wonder what happened to me. So here we are.

My ex and I are getting along better.  Her fiance is a calming influence on her and that has helped. She's engaged to remarry, which will save me about 5k a month in alimony. My relationship with my children, now 7 and 4, is a work in progress but positive and getting better.  I've been officially with the Other Woman since May of 16.  We have a house together.  I'll ask her to marry me in the next couple of months. If we are friends on FB/IG you've seen her I suppose although I would appreciate not posting any of that here. So if you ever wonder if anyone falls in love in Las Vegas and stays together, now you have at least one example.

I changed jobs last July from running a 70 million dollar sales org to a 110 million dollar sales org.  I got fired 3 months ago, partly my fault and partly theirs.  But I used my severance to start two new businesses and I've already replaced my income from my previous employer. Outside of health insurance costs for me and my kids I don't have complaints about being back in the business-owner space.  I'm a lot smarter now and know what I'm doing.  

My life has never been better.  Breaking out of the place I was to get to where I am now, as I told my mother, is the difference between a world in black and white and a world in 4k color.  I've never ever been happier, more fulfilled, more with purpose.  I have a relationship with my family after so many lost years. I have a partner with whom I can be honest. I am unencumbered with guilt, shame, and self-disappointment.  I can't get back 12 years of being married to the wrong woman, but I can be grateful to have moved on and make the most of each day.

Cos was right. Nothing wrong with having a little fun, especially when it leads to the best part of life I could imagine. I love her more each day and (tanner "gay") it keeps getting better.

GM was right. It has been hell and my relationship with my kids has been hard, but we are getting there.

Bentley was Bentley.  And for that I am grateful for his friendship

And shuke and I have played Chess the whole time, which has been my sole thread back to this place.

So that's all the news that's fit to print. This thread is my peeps, so all the best to each of you.

[/spoiler}

Hmph.

HERD

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