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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (11 Viewers)

If I ate one done that way without knowing, I'm sure it would taste fine.

But I have a complicated relationship with mayo for some unknown reason. There are certain food types I don't want mayo anywhere near; just thinking about it makes me feel wrong. Same with cooking it. I have no idea where this came from - I'm usually down with most every normal combo of food/condiment. 
it burns off. just like cooking something in oil. much easier to spread mayo on the bread than butter.

 
I’m not in any way opposed to mayo, but using it instead of butter for grilling seems odd and frightening to me
My mom did this when I was growing up because mayo was cheaper than butter.  It is indeed frightening and odd on many levels.

 
Anyway, y'all need to provide some content.  I"ll be waiting over here, between the hours of 12-4.
 No birds will be buried, no ovens will be naaned and it is quite possible you will be left with the same sense of disappointment as my wife after spending two minutes with me.  With that said I will heed to your plea for some content and at great peril I will interrupt the great Mayo Debate of 2018. 

TLDR:Florida lives up to its reputation

I just spent an awesome, relaxing week on the beach in Florida.  A great time to unwind with a cooler of beer, sun and a fishing pole.  But there were a couple of incidents that occurred within minutes of each other that cracked me up. 

I had been on the beach for most of the day and it was nearing 6:00 and my cooler was about empty.  This may or may not have contributed to my amusement but I will let you be the judge. 

I’m kicked back with the sun at my back and coming up the beach I see a little kid probably 4 years old on one of those harness/dog leash restraints.  The poor kid didn’t have much more than 4-5 feet of rope to work with so virtually everything that would interest a kid at the beach was out of reach.  I will give him credit because the kid had some spunk and despite the odds he fought bravely to achieve freedom and dip a toe in the beckoning Atlantic.  Unfortunately his Momma was not a slight woman and one glance at her red face and the beads of sweat rolling over the faint mustache portrayed a woman with equal determination to keep junior from enjoying an ounce of freedom.  I shook my head at juniors fate as they slowly moved down the beach.

As I was trying to wrap my head around what I just witnessed another boy and his Mom made their way onto the sand and approached the ocean.  The boy was about 12 years olds in cut off shorts and sleeveless t-shirt  Perhaps I would have taken the time to remember the Mom’s attire and possibly rate her on the offdee scale if the young lad didn’t proudly exclaim as he gazed at the ocean “ Look Momma the ocean shrunk.” As Momma gazed at the distant horizon and her son’s brilliance danced thru her mind she smiled and replied “It sure did.”  

I quickly deducted this was at least their second trip to the ocean with their first being at high tide.  No doubt many a scientist was spurred to greatness by observing the world around them.  I would have loved to spend some time contemplating  what scientific breakthrough was in his future but I was interrupted by a commotion on the beach. 

There were muffled shouts down the beach and I strained to see what was happening.  I don’t know if Junior finally broke free from the tyrant’s hands or if in a moment of weakness Momma granted him some freedom.  If it was latter it was apparent she was regretting her decision. 

Junior was barreling down the beach splashing in the tide with a wide smile on his face.  Lumbering behind was Momma desperately trying to narrow the gap so she could grab the trailing leash.  Every time Junior slowed to examine a shell or dodge a fellow beachgoer, Momma would put it in overdrive.  Junior had a sixth-sense or could possibly feel the vibrations in the sand because just as Momma was getting close he would quickly widen the gap and Momma would slow her gait to conserve energy for the next attempt.  Luckily for my entertainment this played out several times as they approached me.

As Junior rambled past I never contemplated ending his freedom nor did I exchange pleasantries with Momma.  In hindsight this was quite rude because her red-face and sweat stained t-shirt suggested someone desperately in need of a beer. 

My fishing pole doubled over shortly after she passed  and by the time I landed a hefty snook they were nowhere to be seen.  I’m sure the reunion was filled with tears, joyful hugs and a death grip on the sandy leash. 

But I rest easy today knowing America is in good hands with future scientists and track stars roaming our shores. 

 
My odd use of a condiment is inspired by this scene from the Sopranos. Ever since then, I've always added Sour Cream to my eggs for scrambled or omelets 

One night was Gyros platter night at the Problem House and there ended up being leftovers. When I went to make omelets the next morning I decided to use the leftovers, Finding that I was out of sour cream, in went the Tzatziki. Worked great! The dill and garlic played perfectly with the eggs. So anytime there's some in the house, it goes into the eggs.
How about that cucumber though.  Tzatziki with a lot of tiny pieces of cuke in it will ruin the taste for me.  

I also poke the cucumber out of my sushi where ever it exists.  

 
Wait. You'll fry mayonnaise but won't eat cukes?
a hidden cucumber will absolutely ruin a meal to shreds for me.  

And you don't really fry it in a vat of mayo, it's just a light covering, I mean a lot less than the amount of butter I would use.

ETA:  I have my own issues with mayo.  I would touch it throughout my childhood and only began to dabble in it during my adult years.  Just too squishy.  I think I first saw the real need for it when it was already on a beautiful club sandwich.  The toast needed some moisture.  The key is a thin coat for me.  Though I use a bit more on a sandwich than I used to I still go pretty light.  I cannot eat a leftover sandwich made by my wife or son - as they both are condiment monsters.  I mean that #### is oozing out when you take a bite ...nfw.  

 
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a hidden cucumber will absolutely ruin a meal to shreds for me.  

And you don't really fry it in a vat of mayo, it's just a light covering, I mean a lot less than the amount of butter I would use.
Man, just the thought of mayo touching my beloved cast iron skillet gives me the willies.

Did this incompatibility ever come of in one of our drunken chats?

Things I'll willingly use mayo as a spread on: 

Tomato sandwiches

Tuna sandwiches

I realize that it's used as a base or enhancer in many things I love. I can whistle past the graveyard on those.

I can't stand the thought of it being cooked or on a sandwich with meat on it. 

As I said earlier to the Backwards-Cap Mod, there's no logic to this. I think it's the only irrational dislike I have of any type of food product I'd consider normal (there's some stuff at Dim Sum that freak me out).

 
Guise?  No offense but I feel like I'm carrying the GMTAN these days.  It says right there in the title "about nothing," and I've been trying my best to contribute nothing.

Btw, I had to call Directv four more times today - not important why except to mention the seven hours or so total I've spent with them and the internet provider in the last two days - and they came up with a new question, "Who's your childhood hero?"

Anyway, y'all need to provide some content.  I"ll be waiting over here, between the hours of 12-4.
"What's your favorite kind of oven?"

 
If I ate one done that way without knowing, I'm sure it would taste fine.

But I have a complicated relationship with mayo for some unknown reason. There are certain food types I don't want mayo anywhere near; just thinking about it makes me feel wrong. Same with cooking it. I have no idea where this came from - I'm usually down with most every normal combo of food/condiment. 
chipotle mayo

 
two pieces thick bread

mayo the outsides

turkey

swiss

avocado

throw them on the griddle until the outsides are brown

stuff your face with delicious hot sandwich

eta: i add mustard to mine, side of kosher dill
no wonder wisconsoners (sp?) are such a trim bunch.  VILE!!!!

 
when my grandmother started losing her mind to dementia, she started putting mayo on grilled cheese sandwiches.  truly vile.  hot mayo is not a good thing.  i soldiered on and ate those nasty things in order to be a good grandson.  i also learned to say i was't hungry.
I would not want mayo INSIDE my grilled cheese - that would be gross for me.  When used on the outside it creates a golden crust with no real hint of mayo.  

 
Man, just the thought of mayo touching my beloved cast iron skillet gives me the willies.

Did this incompatibility ever come of in one of our drunken chats?

Things I'll willingly use mayo as a spread on: 

Tomato sandwiches

Tuna sandwiches

I realize that it's used as a base or enhancer in many things I love. I can whistle past the graveyard on those.

I can't stand the thought of it being cooked or on a sandwich with meat on it. 

As I said earlier to the Backwards-Cap Mod, there's no logic to this. I think it's the only irrational dislike I have of any type of food product I'd consider normal (there's some stuff at Dim Sum that freak me out).
I cut my tuna, chicken, shrimp salads with sour cream - and don't make them nearly as "wet" as many people do.  I rarely order them out - usually too "wet" and filled with celery, of which I am also not a fan (taste is ok, the texture and strings are a non-starter).

 
I cut my tuna, chicken, shrimp salads with sour cream - and don't make them nearly as "wet" as many people do.  I rarely order them out - usually too "wet" and filled with celery, of which I am also not a fan (taste is ok, the texture and strings are a non-starter).
For me, too many people and eateries do this with crab cakes, too. 

 
since we're on sandwiches

recently i went to Great Harvest Bread Co. couldn't pick out anything that looked good so i just went ham & swiss, expecting it to be a hot ham & swiss.

it came out cold

with tomatoes, mayo & cucumber

best ham & cheese i've ever eaten in my life

 
“Mayo spreads better than butter does (crucial when you're using a softer bread like brioche) and has a higher smoke point (meaning it won't burn as easily). Plus, the oil and egg in mayonnaise brown nicely and add a creamy flavor to the crust.”
Good Lord. This is the same kinda crap that causes people to screw up crab cakes.

I ain't using brioche when making a grilled cheese sandwich. I don't give a damn about smoke points - my grilled cheese sandwiches don't burn. Butter works just fine for my bread flavor and I don't care about aesthetics.

 
Me too! I have never heard of this in my 56 years stumbling across this planet until today.

As for spreadability, am I the only person who keeps a stick of buttah a room temp?
butter is only stored in the fridge until you are using it.  then it sits out at room temp.  unless you're somewhere hades hot, and don't have ac.  then it removed and allowed to soften up, then returned to the fridge. 

 
“Mayo spreads better than butter does (crucial when you're using a softer bread like brioche) and has a higher smoke point (meaning it won't burn as easily). Plus, the oil and egg in mayonnaise brown nicely and add a creamy flavor to the crust.”
low and slow are the keys to a good grilled cheese sandwich.  you hot mayo heathens are probably using velveeta as well, aren't you?

 
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low and slow are the keys to a good grilled cheese sandwich.  you hot mayo heathens are probably using velveeta as well, aren't you?
just trying to help you make a better sandwich, dude. not my fault if you want to keep doing it the wrong way.

https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/best-ever-grilled-cheese

"Place bread on a cutting board and spread mayonnaise over top side of each; this is key to a golden, delectable crunch."

 
here's what Serious Eats has to say on the matter:

https://www.seriouseats.com/2015/02/best-grilled-cheese-sandwich-recipe-variations.html

Use butter, and salt your skillet before adding the bread. I like to melt the butter, then sprinkle the skillet or griddle lightly with salt to season the outside of the sandwich. (You can skip the extra salt if you use salted butter.) If you want to go really wild, leave out the butter altogether and instead spread a layer of mayonnaise on every surface of your sandwich before cooking. It'll melt and brown, adding a touch of tangy-sweet flavor.
I recommend you go really wild and then report back.

 
I'm constantly amazed at how many trashy people there are. Took much daughter to the zoo today and saw 2 incidents that drove me nuts.

The first was at the primate house. Thsy have an area where they let some of tthe monkeys/gorillas/lemurs out where they can kind of climb through the trees in an elevated enclosure. There weren't any while we were there, but all of a sudden from an area behind some fencing there came some crazy shrieks from some monkeys fighting, but you couldn't see them. Some trashy family got all excited and ran up next to the fencing area and started hooting and hollering. The trashy dad started barking like a dog trying to get a reaction and yelling "I hear ya buddy!!!" as be banged his hand against the fence. Because harassing an already stressed monkey that lives in a cage is such a great idea.

Later, at the end of the day, my daughter and I stopped for some ice cream near the exit. Their are free roaming peacocks all over the Philly zoo. There was one walking around in the area until a hoard of little brats started chasing it around trying to corner it. The bird was clearly stressed out but the parents just encouraged the rotten fruit of their loins while filming on their phones. Just disgusting. These people seem to think that all of these animals are like toys that they can do whatever they want to simply because they paid their entrance fee.

 
Aaron Rudnicki said:
Only a crazy person puts mayo on the INSIDE of a grilled cheese sandwich. Let’s not get carried away here. 

Just spread it on the outside so your bread doesn’t stick to the pan.
Or they make the Mayo into a delicious Russian dressing and slather it onto some corned beef to insert into the grilled cheese sandwich.

 
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I'm constantly amazed at how many trashy people there are. Took much daughter to the zoo today and saw 2 incidents that drove me nuts.

The first was at the primate house. Thsy have an area where they let some of tthe monkeys/gorillas/lemurs out where they can kind of climb through the trees in an elevated enclosure. There weren't any while we were there, but all of a sudden from an area behind some fencing there came some crazy shrieks from some monkeys fighting, but you couldn't see them. Some trashy family got all excited and ran up next to the fencing area and started hooting and hollering. The trashy dad started barking like a dog trying to get a reaction and yelling "I hear ya buddy!!!" as be banged his hand against the fence. Because harassing an already stressed monkey that lives in a cage is such a great idea.

Later, at the end of the day, my daughter and I stopped for some ice cream near the exit. Their are free roaming peacocks all over the Philly zoo. There was one walking around in the area until a hoard of little brats started chasing it around trying to corner it. The bird was clearly stressed out but the parents just encouraged the rotten fruit of their loins while filming on their phones. Just disgusting. These people seem to think that all of these animals are like toys that they can do whatever they want to simply because they paid their entrance fee.
I think I see the problem

 
I'm constantly amazed at how many trashy people there are. Took much daughter to the zoo today and saw 2 incidents that drove me nuts.

The first was at the primate house. Thsy have an area where they let some of tthe monkeys/gorillas/lemurs out where they can kind of climb through the trees in an elevated enclosure. There weren't any while we were there, but all of a sudden from an area behind some fencing there came some crazy shrieks from some monkeys fighting, but you couldn't see them. Some trashy family got all excited and ran up next to the fencing area and started hooting and hollering. The trashy dad started barking like a dog trying to get a reaction and yelling "I hear ya buddy!!!" as be banged his hand against the fence. Because harassing an already stressed monkey that lives in a cage is such a great idea.

Later, at the end of the day, my daughter and I stopped for some ice cream near the exit. Their are free roaming peacocks all over the Philly zoo. There was one walking around in the area until a hoard of little brats started chasing it around trying to corner it. The bird was clearly stressed out but the parents just encouraged the rotten fruit of their loins while filming on their phones. Just disgusting. These people seem to think that all of these animals are like toys that they can do whatever they want to simply because they paid their entrance fee.
Their grandparents killed Santa in a full stadium setting.  

 
I went to visit my friend that wanted, I am, the executor of her will.  I haven't seen her in almost 6 weeks but not my fault.  The last two times I was supposed to stop by her daughter texted me that she was about to fall asleep or not feeling well.  Anyhow, she's out of the home health place and at home.  When I arrived today my friend was hysterical that I needed to call 911, he daughter wasn't well.  Now my friend can't speak so well, kind of like me after 50 beers.  I look at the daughter and she winks at me.  I'm not sold but can't figure out WTF is going on.  A minute later I can tell the daughter isn't right, having a seizure.  So I call 911 and grab her with my left hand while I have my friend's wheelchair in my right.  My friend keeps trying to move around to see her daughter.  Get them both at least stationary and see the daughter's husband's phone number on the fridge so called him.  He didn't answer. Okay. The daughter is laughing uncontrollably, my friend is crying in the same way and saying "my daughter is going to die".   A cop and paramedics arrived 3-4 minutes later to get the daughter's blood sugar, that was at 35, back to normal, and it got worse from there.  Have some work ahead of me.

The only amazing thing is the cop was a smoking, I mean smoking, hot chick.  Giant diamond on her hand.  Is it bad I kept thinking "you know what would be better Bob" Make this chich arrest you."?

 

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