Jump to content
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing


Recommended Posts

2 minutes ago, kevzilla said:

Yeah, I don't know if it would be the raccoon or me, but one of us is leaving in a bag. The Marquis of Queensberry is just a rumor at this point, I'll drop the couch on his ###.

Ed isn't what I'd exactly call a 'manly man'.  One time he was going for a jog off campus and a bunch of HS kids rolled by in a car and called him a bunch of derogatory names for a gay man.  He was pretty upset by it so we asked him to jog for us so we could see what the problem was.  He looked like Richard Simmons being chased by a bee. :lmao:

 

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If he hadn't treated the raccoon like a one night stand the morning after a bender, they could have tested it for rabies instead of defaulting to giving him shots for it.  Bonus: I think they have to slice open its brain to know for sure.  And I believe he has to go back for more painful shots.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Bob Sacamano said:

If he hadn't treated the raccoon like a one night stand the morning after a bender, they could have tested it for rabies instead of defaulting to giving him shots for it.  Bonus: I think they have to slice open its brain to know for sure.  And I believe he has to go back for more painful shots.  

Oh yeah, he's got more shots coming.  And a roof to repair.  And a flooded bedroom to deal with.  

But at least he didn't get remarried 15 minutes after divorcing his cheating ex....

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, General Malaise said:

Speaking of antibiotics....

Got a good buddy/fraternity brother who lives in Lafayette, Louisiana and is the kind of guy who - if he didn't have bad luck - wouldn't have any luck at all.  House was flooded and destroyed in Katrina, flight attendant wife cheated on him, he gave her a 2nd chance, she said "nahhhh" and left him, numerous incidents in college that were just.....things that happened to Ed.  

He lives alone now and I guess it was raining pretty hard over the weekend.  Sunday morning, he is jolted awake by a huge *CRASH*.  An enormous raccoon, living in his attic, fell through his ceiling, landed on Ed and proceeded to attack him.  Ripped off part of his ear lobe, bit his hands, ripped up his neck.  I can't imagine worse ways to wake up that don't involve a prison gang or snakes.  He ran around the house shutting all the doors, tried to triage his wounds, then grabbed leather work gloves and a broom and engaged in mortal combat with this wild garbage panda.  He was finally able to coax him out of the open front door, then raced off to the ER where he got stitched up and received rabies shots, which, he said, hurt worse than any of the wounds.

Poor Ed....

 

 

When I was three, the family dog bot me in the face and then died.

My dad worked the DA's office and called his best buddy Johnny, who owned the local grocery store.

Dad, "Johnny! The dog bit Damon and then he died. Can we keep him overnight in your walk-in refrigerators?"

After an awkward pause, Johnny said. "Maybe it would be better for you to call the funeral home."

Anyway they kept the dog chilled and the next day they cut off its head and sent it to Austin to test for rabies.. In the meantime, I began a series of shots into my stomach for a week. Mom said I was a little #####, but I was three and do not remember.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sort of Ed like.   

This morning, I head to the master closet to get my clothes for the day.  Three hour drive to Pendleton,  Oregon, to play in some tournaments Monday and Tuesday is on the agenda for the morning and I'm running a little late, when wham, I step on the crawl space cover and in 0.00002 seconds, I'm in the crawl space. 

Still not sure what exactly happened, but right leg is all the way down and touching the tarp about 4 feet below.    My left knee is in my chin and my foot is wedged into the top of crawl space.  On the way down, my left arm destroyed the wooden wicker basket hamper my wife uses.  Little woven wood spurs are stuck in my armpit.  Except for some arm pit scrapes, not much damage.  

Killed it at the live table tonight.  Lol. 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Getzlaf15 said:

Sort of Ed like.   

This morning, I head to the master closet to get my clothes for the day.  Three hour drive to Pendleton,  Oregon, to play in some tournaments Monday and Tuesday is on the agenda for the morning and I'm running a little late, when wham, I step on the crawl space cover and in 0.00002 seconds, I'm in the crawl space. 

Still not sure what exactly happened, but right leg is all the way down and touching the tarp about 4 feet below.    My left knee is in my chin and my foot is wedged into the top of crawl space.  On the way down, my left arm destroyed the wooden wicker basket hamper my wife uses.  Little woven wood spurs are stuck in my armpit.  Except for some arm pit scrapes, not much damage.  

Killed it at the live table tonight.  Lol. 

The present-tense here made me really hope you were posting this while still wedged in the floor.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, heckmanm said:

The present-tense here made me really hope you were posting this while still wedged in the floor.

Until we hear otherwise I'm assuming he's still stranded with a wicker hamper in his armpit, similar to how I assume Huell is still sitting on the couch in that safehouse in Albuquerque waiting for Uncle Hank/Gomey to come back to tell him it's okay for him to leave.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just shampooed the carpets for a party this weekend.  You’re all invited of course.  Concert tomorrow night and  Friday night.  Freakin too busy for some naan tonight.  

Edited by Osaurus
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, krista4 said:
5 hours ago, heckmanm said:

Happy Diwali, GMTAN! I'm currently enjoying some pakoras and samosas from our IT contractors (with a killer cilantro chutney)

Which flavor of naan?

I don't know how to break this to you GBK4, but it was naan-existent.

They did have those little syrup-soaked dough-balls but I was :porked: enough with the deep fried goods.

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent, at least. And I have worked in the field of healthcare reimbursement, on both sides of the fence, since 1989.

And yet, I cannot determine which of the two health plans offered by my employer is better for me. Different deductibles, copays, and even what's eligible to be applied to a deductible varies between them.

As many of you know, I work for a Catholic healthcare organization, so you could be forgiven for thinking my choices are between platinum-plated and diamond-encrusted plans. I assure you this is not the case; our benefits erode and our premiums rise every year, just like anyone else.

No politics, but I'm quite ready to be on Medicare, though it is many years away.

Probably unrelated: Today is bowel prep day. :oldunsure:

TLDR Kev is getting hosed, in more ways than one.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

32 minutes ago, DA RAIDERS said:

@kevzilla i'm up for the camera scope for the first time as well.  please regale us with your tales of being hosed.  i know there's a thread out there on it, but i'm lazy.

Oh, it's not my first time. They put me on a three-year schedule when they found precancerous polyps three years ago. I am told that if I'm clean this time, I can go back to five years.

I had no issues the first time. Because of my apnea, they bring in the anesthesiologist and knock me all the way out. The night before is worse than the day of. :lmao:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, kevzilla said:

I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent, at least. And I have worked in the field of healthcare reimbursement, on both sides of the fence, since 1989.

And yet, I cannot determine which of the two health plans offered by my employer is better for me. Different deductibles, copays, and even what's eligible to be applied to a deductible varies between them.

As many of you know, I work for a Catholic healthcare organization, so you could be forgiven for thinking my choices are between platinum-plated and diamond-encrusted plans. I assure you this is not the case; our benefits erode and our premiums rise every year, just like anyone else.

No politics, but I'm quite ready to be on Medicare, though it is many years away.

Probably unrelated: Today is bowel prep day. :oldunsure:

TLDR Kev is getting hosed, in more ways than one.

Funny timing for me because I was just filling out my selections since this week is open enrollment.  I had a hard time figuring out which plan is the best for me, so I wound up just guessing.  I don't feel confident that it's the best plan for me, but nobody I asked was able to explain anything.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/6/2018 at 7:43 PM, heckmanm said:

I don't know how to break this to you GBK4, but it was naan-existent.

They did have those little syrup-soaked dough-balls but I was :porked: enough with the deep fried goods.

ccrappy dough balls in sugar water is the worst dessert ever. wtf eats/likes that ####?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, kevzilla said:

Update:  Just finished two hours of drinking goop. Nary a rumble yet.

Interesting: Goop is a company owned by actress Gwyneth Paltrow. It was launched as a "lifestyle brand" by Paltrow in September 2008, beginning as a weekly e-mail newsletter providing new age advice, such as "police your thoughts" and "eliminate white foods", and the slogan "Nourish the Inner Aspect". Wikipedia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, turns out now I have a former co-worker talking to my wife about how "I hear there's going to be massive layoffs at 5's studio soon.   That gonna effect him?" 

Some people really need to think for, like, two nanoseconds before they fire off some rando text about something they haven't been directly involved with in around 9 months to a person who is just about the biggest fraidy cat/worrier in the western hemisphere.  Don't do me any more favors, huh?  ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, kevzilla said:

Update:  Oof. Didn't get much sleep. Forgot to take the Dulcolax, so I didn't get anything clear until about half an hour ago. Gonna give it a whirl anyway.

Update: Operation Hershey Highway is completed. I have eaten, and now ima adjust my attitude and take a nap. :bowtie: 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   1 member

×
  • Create New...