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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)

Apologies for not being a regular in this thread, but may I?

For the past four years, my manager (ostensibly), was the target of my disdain. Obviously stupid and lazy, yet he escaped the requisite reprimand of our boss. To paint a picture, dude has a vocabulary that qualifies him to be POTUS, and it's backed up with an online degree from Liberty U.

Anyway, I got giddy with winds of developments on Tuesday that he was getting the can. I figured HR/SeniorMgt FINALLY figured things out.  Now I'm not so giddy because I cannot imagine a worse fate than this guys fate. The following is gossip, except for the parts that involve the police, aka PoPo.

  • Dude was having an affair (with the cashier at the corner gas station)
  • Dude had a problem with abusing Rx (True story, I thought the guy was stupid and lazy, nothing more). I'm very bad when it comes to identifying people who abuse drugs.
  • Cheated on his wife ... wife found out
  • Just over-extended on building a new home
  • Was hours late returning from lunch.  Turns out he drove his car over several mailboxes on his lunch break
  • Got into brief, heated, public f-bombing exchange with his wife
  • Got into a domestic dispute in front of family

    Battery charge - hands around throat (unconfirmed gossip)
  • Assaulted his own father.  I assume he was trying to protect his daughter-in-law
  • ATTACKED POPO

    Two broken jaws
  • Missing teeth
  • Broken Nose
  • One eye swollen shut; may not recover




I'm feeling really rotten. I'd pray for this guy, if I could.

 
Ok so here's the plan.  They're going to break into morpheus's head. He's in a building loaded with military people who can all turn into agents at any time.  So we're going to break in and kill the people.  

Are they agents? 

No, but they could become agents so we should kill them. 

Aren't those real humans?  The people we're trying to save? 

Yes but we have to get into that building.  

Ok, so let's bring lots of weapons.  How about a tank? 

No, no tank.  We can have infinity guns though. 

Nice. What kinds of body armor should we wear? 

I'll wear a trench coat, and you should wear a leather halter top. 

Not even a helmet?  

It would only slow us down. Nothing that hides our faces or your cleavage 

But they'll be shooting at us. 

Yeah i have a plan for that too. I'll do a cartwheel.  

Sounds like the perfect plan.  Then what? 

Well, we need to get to the roof. 

Why?  Is morpheus there? 

No he's on some high up floor but not too high up.  

Let's go to that floor then.  

No, we can't go right to it.  We need to go to the roof. And if there's a helicopter there, ir will be a welcome surprise. 

A helicopter?  I don't know how to fly one but ok i can learn. Will it have guns? 

I don't even know if there will be a helicopter.   

Seems like a plan.  What if we run into an agent up there?  Seems likely.  

Yeah I'll shoot all my bullets at him from a distance.  

You should bring more guns when you go ti the roof then.  

Nah, I'll leave them on the floor and bring one pistol with one clip.  

Well they're pretty good at dodging bullets.  You should be careful.  

I'll distract him, then you shoot him in the head from point blank.  

That doesn't sound very sporting.  I'll warn him by saying dodge this first.  

Perfect.  Then we'll take the helicopter. 

If there is one. 

Right.  If there is one.  I'll take the helicopter with the big machine gun and we'll fly up to the room where they have morpheus. 

Wait we know where he is?   Why didn't we just go there on the elevator? 

Because we needed the helicopter. Trust me. He'll be in a giant room that's nothing but glass windows.  

It really seems like you know where he is.  

A little. But we need the helicopter.  That might not be there.  So we kill all the guards and then go ti the roof, get the helicopter and use the machine gun to shoot the agents that are holding morpheus.  

And then we'll get morpheus?

No, he'll jump onto the helicopter while you're shooting.

Won't thousands of people see this? And any of them can become agents instantly? 

Yeah but we'll drop morpheus somewhere if that happens. 

We should work on this escape.  

Don't worry we can have tank look for an exit. 

Good idea, he can find all the nearby phones and be ready in an instant. 

I doubt it.  He'll want to watch. 

Well, you've never done anything like this before, so i trust your judgment. Let's do this.  

 
Mister CIA said:
Apologies for not being a regular in this thread, but may I?

For the past four years, my manager (ostensibly), was the target of my disdain. Obviously stupid and lazy, yet he escaped the requisite reprimand of our boss. To paint a picture, dude has a vocabulary that qualifies him to be POTUS, and it's backed up with an online degree from Liberty U.

Anyway, I got giddy with winds of developments on Tuesday that he was getting the can. I figured HR/SeniorMgt FINALLY figured things out.  Now I'm not so giddy because I cannot imagine a worse fate than this guys fate. The following is gossip, except for the parts that involve the police, aka PoPo.

  • Dude was having an affair (with the cashier at the corner gas station)
  • Dude had a problem with abusing Rx (True story, I thought the guy was stupid and lazy, nothing more). I'm very bad when it comes to identifying people who abuse drugs.
  • Cheated on his wife ... wife found out
  • Just over-extended on building a new home
  • Was hours late returning from lunch.  Turns out he drove his car over several mailboxes on his lunch break
  • Got into brief, heated, public f-bombing exchange with his wife
  • Got into a domestic dispute in front of family

    Battery charge - hands around throat (unconfirmed gossip)
  • Assaulted his own father.  I assume he was trying to protect his daughter-in-law
  • ATTACKED POPO

    Two broken jaws
  • Missing teeth
  • Broken Nose
  • One eye swollen shut; may not recover




I'm feeling really rotten. I'd pray for this guy, if I could.
Click to expand...
Sounds like dude made his bed and then ####ed it up. Royally. Not your problem. Best of luck to him. 

 
Forgot..  drinks. 

My HI in-laws are flying in for 24 hours tomorrow. On their way to Greece. On a private jet. To a 185’ private yacht. Worst part?  They’re weird Mormon NTTAWT sister and 2 kids are weaseling their wa,y into my house tomorrow. 

Provate jet. To Greece. Giant f’ing Yahtzee’s. 

Drinks.   They’ll be here in 4 hours. 

Night

 
Lots of crazy stuff going on in my life. Mostly I will not go into for brevity’s sake.

Not looking for T&Ps. Just funny stuff.

But my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago.  She’s 84.  She went in for back surgery and the spots showed up on the pre-op chest X-ray. Further tests show that it spread to ribs and femur.  It’s not curable. But radiation treatments would help with pain and breathing etc.

Fast forward to this week and she was miserable.  Nausea, pain, no appetite etc etc. 

She was looking for anything to help.  Eventually she asked for us to get her some weed.

My sister contacts the daughter of one of her friends, Julie, that is a huge pothead for the hook up.  Shockingly, Julie flakes somewhere between home and buying papers/wrappers.

My wife finally says “JFC, amateurs” and texts my son and his GF. GF’s dad grows at home and harvests for other people.  25 minutes later, son and GF show up with all kinds of jazz cabbage and paraphernalia.

My contribution was singing to my son...

To the tune of Smoke on the Water...

“Dun dun dun...duh dun duh dah..Smoke-out your grandma...get her really high...smooooooke out your grandma...like it’s ‘65”

Epilogue:  Turns Out she was dehydrated as F.  Last 2 days she’s been getting IV hydration and has made a big improvement.  She’s still technically terminal but in much better shape.  

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Jeez, Tanner. Here's to hoping for the best possible outcome and easiest ride home.

Did your mom ever smoke (cigs or whatever)? I'm just imagining an 84 year old who's never inhaled before smoking her first joint.

 
I'm glad your Mom is doing better.  Sorry to hear she's going through that.  

Don't you guys have pot shops?  There's one on every corner here.

 
Mister CIA said:
Apologies for not being a regular in this thread, but may I?

For the past four years, my manager (ostensibly), was the target of my disdain. Obviously stupid and lazy, yet he escaped the requisite reprimand of our boss. To paint a picture, dude has a vocabulary that qualifies him to be POTUS, and it's backed up with an online degree from Liberty U.

Anyway, I got giddy with winds of developments on Tuesday that he was getting the can. I figured HR/SeniorMgt FINALLY figured things out.  Now I'm not so giddy because I cannot imagine a worse fate than this guys fate. The following is gossip, except for the parts that involve the police, aka PoPo.

  • Dude was having an affair (with the cashier at the corner gas station)
  • Dude had a problem with abusing Rx (True story, I thought the guy was stupid and lazy, nothing more). I'm very bad when it comes to identifying people who abuse drugs.
  • Cheated on his wife ... wife found out
  • Just over-extended on building a new home
  • Was hours late returning from lunch.  Turns out he drove his car over several mailboxes on his lunch break
  • Got into brief, heated, public f-bombing exchange with his wife
  • Got into a domestic dispute in front of family

    Battery charge - hands around throat (unconfirmed gossip)
  • Assaulted his own father.  I assume he was trying to protect his daughter-in-law
  • ATTACKED POPO

    Two broken jaws
  • Missing teeth
  • Broken Nose
  • One eye swollen shut; may not recover




I'm feeling really rotten. I'd pray for this guy, if I could.
Click to expand...
I'd be concerned with the fact that he apparently also has two jaws.

 
Thank you for all the good thoughts etc.

Mom is doing much better after 3 straight days of IV rehydration.  She also had a blood transfusion yesterday because her hobgoblin level or something dropped.  

As far as pot shops go...I have no what’s going on anymore.  We still have the medicinal shops but the county AND city banned the recreational ones.  I think there are some shops in a town about 30 minutes from here.

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
Thank you for all the good thoughts etc.

Mom is doing much better after 3 straight days of IV rehydration.  She also had a blood transfusion yesterday because her hobgoblin level or something dropped.  

As far as pot shops go...I have no what’s going on anymore.  We still have the medicinal shops but the county AND city banned the recreational ones.  I think there are some shops in a town about 30 minutes from here.
Click to expand...
I am booked to play in Oildale next week - I will bring da Bomb for ya Mom.

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
Thank you for all the good thoughts etc.

Mom is doing much better after 3 straight days of IV rehydration.  She also had a blood transfusion yesterday because her hobgoblin level or something dropped.  

As far as pot shops go...I have no what’s going on anymore.  We still have the medicinal shops but the county AND city banned the recreational ones.  I think there are some shops in a town about 30 minutes from here.
Click to expand...
it's Haboglabotribin, btw

 
Last edited by a moderator:
krista4 said:
I just thought that it would be the most likely song that a guy would have heard who thinks he's never heard a Zappa song.  Ubiquitous for a time, but I'm Tanner-old.
Click to expand...
I like "Valley Girl", it just doesn't represent his work that well.  It's like people thinking of "Bang On The Drum" for Todd.  

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
Had to call my mom today to get the last 4 of her SSN in order to fix some mortgage BS.

Her: 0462

Me: ok. Is that in Roman numerals?

Her: F uuuuuuuuu ccccc kkkk you 
Click to expand...
Talking about being old, it's hard to believe that when I was a kid, we had a phone attached to a wall in the kitchen.  When it rang, I would pick it up without knowing who was calling.  It’s amazing I’m still alive.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
RC94 said:
Talking about being old, it's hard to believe that when I was a kid, we had a phone attached to a wall in the kitchen.  When it rang, I would pick it up without knowing who was calling.  It’s amazing I’m still alive.
Click to expand...
The first phone company I worked at had 2 and 4-party lines.   :bag:

 
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