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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (16 Viewers)

1. The audio in your clip is really really good.

2. Northern Washington looks like East Tennessee but foggy.  I'm listening to Radiohead and drinking red wine on a train.  Because it's all an adventure, or at least it should be.

3. GM's living room has more fencing then my 12 acre ranch/farm/ex-wife's house.

 
Aaron Rudnicki said:
People forget that someone in the original GMTAN claimed to have never eaten ketchup. I think that happened. Right?
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I've never intentionally eaten ketchup. The whole process involves sucking everything that is good and wholesome out of the noble tomato and replacing it with a bunch of sugar and other artificial ####.

 
bentley said:
I've never intentionally eaten ketchup. The whole process involves sucking everything that is good and wholesome out of the noble tomato and replacing it with a bunch of sugar and other artificial ####.
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Real ketchup is just tomatoes sugar vinegar and some seasoning. Boil it, puree it strain it and add water to reach desired consistency. Basically same process as tomato sauce or spaghetti sauce but you liquefy it

 
Sconch said:
Were you cooking it over a Bic lighter?
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I'm a little surprised a man of your refined dietary tastes wouldn't know more about the cooking of the corndog.  Per the box:

Preheat oven to 375.  Place corndog on rack.  If frozen, cook for 22-25 minutes.  Let sit for 2 minutes before enjoying.*


*I probably should have heeded this one.  I went in too soon.  Now I have some sort of burn on my bottom right gums that looks like periodontal disease.

 
Thought this was really funny.

Living Like a Founding Father Left Me Drunk and Covered in Leeches
 

Our nation's 240th birthday bonanza, the Fourth of July, is right around the corner. Because I am blessed with a boundless love for America and the noble dudes who founded it, I decided the best way to honor them was to spend four days living like they would have in 1776.

As delightfully patriotic as that sounded on paper, I didn't consider the fact that John Adams chugged a few mugs of hard cider each morning, that Ben Franklin spent an hour a night waggling his dirty **** out of his window, or that George Washington was so convinced that bloodletting was the key to health that he let his doctor slice him open until his veins ran dry.

By day four of my experiment, my liver was calling for surrender like Cornwallis at Yorktown, my unwashed body emitted a stench so revolting that my roommate refused to sleep in our apartment, and I was covered in piss because chamberpots have a surprisingly steep learning curve. I also had oozing sores on my stomach that refused to heal. My patriotism, though, was at an all-time high. Here's what happened.
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General Malaise said:
I'm a little surprised a man of your refined dietary tastes wouldn't know more about the cooking of the corndog.  Per the box:

Preheat oven to 375.  Place corndog on rack.  If frozen, cook for 22-25 minutes.  Let sit for 2 minutes before enjoying.*


*I probably should have heeded this one.  I went in too soon.  Now I have some sort of burn on my bottom right gums that looks like periodontal disease.
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You seem like you know what you're doing

 
Shoot me now....

- Trying to buy a freaking vehicle with a non-local driver's license is fun.  Related:  Getting a new local driver's license is, apparently, impossible without 14 forms proving your residency even if you've only moved into your current address within the last 7 days.

- Apparently my house in FL has not only a leaking bathroom/laundry drain, it also has mold occurring from said leak.  Tennant is, of course, now freaking out.  Yay!

- 10 days on the ground after leaving NV and not a single lead on steady work yet for me to boot.

- The friends we are staying with currently are hosting some kind of "wine tasting" event at their house tonight, complete with about 15 shrieking yentas(apologies to our resident Tribe members.  I'm sure your moms/wives/sisters are all lovely and would never get drunk and shriek about their mom's grabbing their dad's junk on the sly to make him smile for a family photo, but mistakenly grab their brother's instead.  Mazel tov!).  All I want to do is have a couple dozen drinks and forget today happened.  I'm sure this will work out fantastically.

So, it's been a rocking' July so far.  I'll be cracking the scotch juuuuust about......now.

 
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mr. furley said:
bar down? outside closed?
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I'm married.  No way I'm getting out of it that easy.  

Plus, my bed is sort of inside the domicile where they'll be shrieking until, probably, 3 AM.  I'd have to come back to it eventually.

And "outside' is meaningless to this particular pack of drunken Jews.  You may be able to hear them on the moon.

 
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Seriously.  A week ago they hosted another event where there were twice as many present.  My wife thought her ear drum collapsed at one point.

Pray for Mojo.

 
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Currently sitting at the kitchen table with 3 brother inlaws, only one of which has a job. My FIL, a cousin with a new baby some random old family friend.  There's not enough beer. My kid and nephew are trying to catch #### in the lake. I may join them. 

 
One bil just asked the cousin, whose husband is a cop, just what he thinks about the whole ####### black lives bull#### in Dallas. 

And my nephew just came out of the lake with a leech on his ankle. 

Good times!!

 
5-ish Finkle said:
I'm married.  No way I'm getting out of it that easy.  

Plus, my bed is sort of inside the domicile where they'll be shrieking until, probably, 3 AM.  I'd have to come back to it eventually.

And "outside' is meaningless to this particular pack of drunken Jews.  You may be able to hear them on the moon.
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Pack of Drunken Jews is my Beastie Boys/Tom Waits mashup band.

 
Sitting at a bar outside New Orleans waiting for traffic to die down so I can drive home.  

There are a lot of ugly people here.

 
The bartender looks like a 50-year old California surfer on meth, and he's the best looking dude in the joint.  I bet I could score here.

 
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