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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (13 Viewers)

Thorn said:
So I just learned that my paralegal had a miscarriage.  She had not announced the pregnancy.  I knew something was up medically, but was only just informed by the office manager about it.  What, if anything, do I say when she returns to work? :(  
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"At least you won't have to deal with twins."

:bag:

I am going straight to hell.

 
I swear, I have no idea how Krista and Mr. Krista move so often.

We had our RE broker here today to tell us what we need to do to get the house ship shape for listing.

Holy ####. What a nightmare.

On the plus side, I just learned how to get stubborn hard water stains off a shower door via Google.  :mellow:

 
krista4 said:
What the hell is with all the hugging around here lately?  
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I know, right? One of the last lucid memories of the day you came to coshole was YSR telling us "Well? Go hug her!". Although..... I'm certain I hugged St Louis Bob more that weekend than anyone else - so maybe the hug thing started then.

 
General Malaise said:
Listen, I'd eat a rhino scrotum if it caused hallucinogenic effects.  So if it's a mushroom I have to eat to enjoy the band Phish, then mushrooms I will have.  I just don't want them as a delicacy.
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Pretty sure you would eat the cow patty where they grow if need be. 

Let me know if it works.

 
General Malaise said:
Must say I didn't really expect our two resident cat ladies to be so anti-hugging.
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Reg Lllama of Brixton


Posted February 4, 2009 · Report post
So I walk out of the supermarket yesterday and put the bags in my car. Just as I'm opening up the driver's side door this Korean guy approaches me holding out some sort of business card. He says "Excuse me, sir." I'm halfway just about in the car but I figure I'll be civil and see what he wants. Maybe he's just going to hand me a card that says 'Jesus Loves You' or something.

He hands me the card and says "I've just opened up a new business down the street...". The card reads something like 'A-1 Relaxing Massage Therapy'. I tell him "Thanks. I'll pass this on to my wife." I figured that would be it.

This is when it gets weird. The guy says "Oh yeah, your wife, you, whatever, I do great massage."

Then he reaches out and starts to massage my shoulder and says something like "Ohh! See, tense!"

Now in case I've never mentioned it I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE TOUCHING ME. The only exceptions are my wife and some sort of medical professional. I mean lap-dances make me uncomfortable and not in a good way.

So Kato's got his meathook all over my clavicle and I'm just stunned. I mean it was so out of the blue I was almost paralyzed. I think I gave him one of these :shock: looks.

After what seemed like 10 seconds, but was probably more like 2, I said 'easy there', closed the car door, and backed out without even looking at Kim Jong Ill-Advised

Of course the first thing I think is "That dude was hitting on me. Is that his MO? Grope strange men in the parking lot under the pretext of promoting his massage business?" But as I drive away I see him talking to some dumpy, middle-aged woman and he reaches out and starts rubbing her arm!

Then I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and took a 2-hour long pumice shower.
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Thorn said:
Um, no offense cause I know your hearts are in the right place, but there is no ####### way I am hugging her.  For one, she is a work subordinate.  For two, and more importantly, she never told me she was pregnant, so I can't imagine she would be cool with me presuming that I have that kind of, I don't know what, personal cache with her, to do that.

I really just want to know if I say anything.  I don't want her to think I don't care, but I also want to respect her privacy/need to keep it together.
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you're a heathen

and a sinner

and probably touch yourself in public places

 
Wait, the guy squatting under the overpass has a "work subordinate"?  And she's a "paralegal"?  Is that some kind of transient slang for "meth'd out stadium trash?"  I think just going to go with that, regardless.

General Malaise said:
I moved last summer.  Two doors down.  I had almost 5 full months to move.  It sucked rocks and I'm never moving again the rest of my life.  You nomads, I don't understand you at all.  Moving is worse than mushrooms.
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Oh, make no mistake....I am not doing this by choice.  Not even remotely close to that.  I honestly think I'd prefer being shot.   If my industry wasn't so gaddam flaky, and didn't require flitting around chasing money unless you want to live in a place that I think is the armpit of the world, I'd happily drop anchor somewhere interesting and never budge until I died.

I also will not be surprised if we are doing it AGAIN within a calendar year(unless I follow through with my new "dream" of driving a garbage route in rural Florida for the next 30 years).  Which I can't wait for, since my wife is the most awesome cross-country traveler that ever walked the surface of the Earth(which by that I mean "Any future moves will be paved with stress and tears for about a month before/during/after said move".)  

 
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TPW for the trials and tribulations of others, but I'm having a pretty good day down here. Made my final car payment this morning, there was no work-related insanity, just printed my boarding pass for my flight to Vegas tomorrow. When the season premiere of South Park starts this evening, I'll have three fingers of Balvenie DoubleWood and one large ice cube in my glass. Good little day for Milos.

 
RedmondLonghorn said:
I swear, I have no idea how Krista and Mr. Krista move so often.

We had our RE broker here today to tell us what we need to do to get the house ship shape for listing.

Holy ####. What a nightmare.

On the plus side, I just learned how to get stubborn hard water stains off a shower door via Google.  :mellow:
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Link?

 
proninja said:
I have a lawyer question:

I interviewed a guy who is looking to get a job in advance of going to jail for 4-6 months for a DUI. If he gets a job, he can be on work release for it. If not, full time jail. That seems like a pretty stiff sentence for a one time thing. Is that sentence usually reserved for people who have done it a few times, or can a first timer get hit for that too? 

I want to hire him because I believe people deserve a second chance, but I don't want to buy myself a problem, because he's not *that* overqualified. 
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Seems excessive but I forget what full punishment allowed is.  I know we had a crazy judge in one nearby city that was notorious for giving the full sentence allowed by law 

 
proninja said:
I have a lawyer question:

I interviewed a guy who is looking to get a job in advance of going to jail for 4-6 months for a DUI. If he gets a job, he can be on work release for it. If not, full time jail. That seems like a pretty stiff sentence for a one time thing. Is that sentence usually reserved for people who have done it a few times, or can a first timer get hit for that too? 

I want to hire him because I believe people deserve a second chance, but I don't want to buy myself a problem, because he's not *that* overqualified. 
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Washington has pretty harsh DUI laws but also allows a 1 time deferred prosecution.  The fact that he's going to jail either means it isn't his first or he refuses to quit drinking

 
Limp Ditka said:
And to be fair, its not really the touching that bothers me. Its being around a bunch of horny men, while I'm being touched by a woman, that bothers me and I'm not about to drop dime for the champagne room
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If you're not going to the champagne room, it's not worth doing. Might as well set money on fire.

 
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