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General Malaise

By General Malaise,
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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,400

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, Bob Sacamano said:

WHAT IF SOMEBODY ACTUALLY GOT KIDNAPPED?  CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!??!?

yeah, so, he did come over with some crazy scenario yesterday..  mid-rant my phone rang so i got out of that one. 

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Henry Ford

Moo.

Homer J Simpson

HELLO FROM REHAB!!!!   Not sure if anything's been shared but Sunday dinner at my parents' a couple weeks ago was in fact an elaborate ruse to stage an intervention.  Actually it wasn't very

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Leroy Hoard

Leroy Hoard 14,006

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, mr. furley said:

:lmao:

boy for sale?

" A concerned parent called Forest Glen Elementary School around 11:30 Monday to let them know about a Craigslist ad. It was titled “Children For Sale- Forest Glen Elementary” and went on to say “Hundreds of kids to choose from. Pick and Run. Male or Female ages 5-9.”

 

son of a guy at my office goes to this school. he got a text alert and notification that the school was on lockdown. all recesses and outdoor activities cancelled. no walking/riding home alone, all kids must be picked up or on a bus.

 

 

I hate sales that don't mention the actual prices.

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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,400

Posted
Posted (edited)
28 minutes ago, Frostillicus said:

Boo.  You need to document this stuff here for our amusement.

i imagine that my brain turns off a little to deal with it. like when they ask POW's how they survived.. they answer that they learned how to turn off the pain, to go somewhere else in their brain, to imagine better times.

when, every day, before your computer boots up you can count on someone trying to "scare" you by jumping in to your cube, waving their hands, pounding on your desk or rattling their keys... then excitedly pointing their fingers in your face and flailing their arms while "talking" at you as they lean in so their face is within 1 foot of yours... you either snap and do something drastic... or you learn to tune out until its over.

i'm not fully awake right away at the office. it's not until his 3rd stop at my office (usually between 8:05 - 8:10) until i'm aware and engaged and able to effectively fend him off.

 

trick here that i haven't figured out:  if'n i stare blankly and listen.. the antics and volume only amp up.   if'n i engage, even by trying to shut it down, then i'm feeding the beast and it only continues longer.

i think he sniffs coke before stepping in and takes it out on me to break the awkwardness of how obvious it is

 

eta: Glen. he's Glen from Raising Arizona. only with a lot more hand waving and over the top guffawing. plus crotch grabbing.

Edited by mr. furley
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cstu

cstu 6,086

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, RedmondLonghorn said:

Most terrifying words in the world: when my wife says "I have an idea..."

I thought it was "Can I ask you a question?"

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cstu

cstu 6,086

Posted
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4 hours ago, mr. furley said:

 

trick here that i haven't figured out:  if'n i stare blankly and listen.. the antics and volume only amp up.   if'n i engage, even by trying to shut it down, then i'm feeding the beast and it only continues longer.

 

I use the same behavioral techniques on my wife that I do on my daughter.  When she's talking I pretend listen thoughtfully, tilting my head to the side, nodding, and telling her "I understand".  I then tell her what I need to say very calmly, repeating it over and over without raising my voice until she finally calms down and does what I suggested.

Women, like children, like to argue because it means they won - whether or not they get their way in the end.  Harder to do with what you believe to be a full grown adult so I often respond in the ways you described.

 

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mr. furley

mr. furley 12,400

Posted
Posted
49 minutes ago, cstu said:

I use the same behavioral techniques on my wife that I do on my daughter.  When she's talking I pretend listen thoughtfully, tilting my head to the side, nodding, and telling her "I understand".  I then tell her what I need to say very calmly, repeating it over and over without raising my voice until she finally calms down and does what I suggested.

Women, like children, like to argue because it means they won - whether or not they get their way in the end.  Harder to do with what you believe to be a full grown adult so I often respond in the ways you described.

 

he's definitely not a full grown adult. i dunno. 

short of relentlessly mocking and belittling him in front of others ( not my deal ) there doesn't seem to be any stopping this guy from being an obnoxious jester.

 

did i also mention that he LOVES LOVES LOVES diminutives?

"hey bud! what's happening, champ??? HUH? HUH?? did you look outside yet, CHIEF???! whoa ho ho ho! look at that weather, guy!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF JIM LEFT HIS SUNROOF OPEN THIS AFTERNOON, BUDDY!!!!! HOLY JEEPERS, JIM, YOU BOZO!" (ROARS with laughter while shucking and jiving)

 

 

 

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cosjobs

cosjobs 15,364

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, mr. furley said:

:lmao:

boy for sale?

" A concerned parent called Forest Glen Elementary School around 11:30 Monday to let them know about a Craigslist ad. It was titled “Children For Sale- Forest Glen Elementary” and went on to say “Hundreds of kids to choose from. Pick and Run. Male or Female ages 5-9.”

 

son of a guy at my office goes to this school. he got a text alert and notification that the school was on lockdown. all recesses and outdoor activities cancelled. no walking/riding home alone, all kids must be picked up or on a bus.

 

 

Just the school ensuring they get their commission

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Homer J Simpson

Homer J Simpson 8,446

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, mr. furley said:

:lmao:

boy for sale?

" A concerned parent called Forest Glen Elementary School around 11:30 Monday to let them know about a Craigslist ad. It was titled “Children For Sale- Forest Glen Elementary” and went on to say “Hundreds of kids to choose from. Pick and Run. Male or Female ages 5-9.”

 

son of a guy at my office goes to this school. he got a text alert and notification that the school was on lockdown. all recesses and outdoor activities cancelled. no walking/riding home alone, all kids must be picked up or on a bus.

 

 

Not. Funny. :angry:

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cstu

cstu 6,086

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, cosjobs said:

Tried to get Louis c k ticketss for one of his 4 January shows and they are all already sold out. Sheesh

I tried two hours after they were on sale and the only ones available were nosebleeds.  No watching comedians from a mile away for me.

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St. Louis Bob

St. Louis Bob 6,290

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Getzlaf15 said:
Ronald Silks
2016 · 
K0srxReVLKP.png
 · 
 
 

I an gona bartender here part time now

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Ronald Silks
 
Ronald Silks Wow I quit this place. The band turns out is not real people and is just robots dressed as doggers. Wow
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:lmao:

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Frostillicus

Frostillicus 14,401

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, mr. furley said:

he's definitely not a full grown adult. i dunno. 

short of relentlessly mocking and belittling him in front of others ( not my deal ) there doesn't seem to be any stopping this guy from being an obnoxious jester.

 

did i also mention that he LOVES LOVES LOVES diminutives?

"hey bud! what's happening, champ??? HUH? HUH?? did you look outside yet, CHIEF???! whoa ho ho ho! look at that weather, guy!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF JIM LEFT HIS SUNROOF OPEN THIS AFTERNOON, BUDDY!!!!! HOLY JEEPERS, JIM, YOU BOZO!" (ROARS with laughter while shucking and jiving)

 

 

 

I'm starting to love this guy.

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5-ish Finkle

5-ish Finkle 3,358

Posted
Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, tommyboy said:

that guy sounds like a barrel of fun, go get him drunk.   

[closetalking]COULD YOU IMAGINE THAT GUY DRUNK!?!?!!?  I MEAN, COULD YOU?!?!?  I'LL BET HE'D DO EVEN MORE FINGER POINTING!!!!!![/closetalking] *does stupid discount double check wrestling move*

Edited by 5-ish Finkle
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tommyboy

tommyboy 4,621

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, 5-ish Finkle said:

[closetalking]COULD YOU IMAGINE THAT GUY DRUNK!?!?!!?  I MEAN, COULD YOU?!?!?  I'LL BET HE'D DO EVEN MORE FINGER POINTING!!!!!![/closetalking] *does stupid discount double check wrestling move*

Exactly 

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