I think I'll know how best to proceed after we find out how my son (junior) does on his PSAT. He's very pragmatic and has stated he wants to go to the school that offers him the most money. But I don't want him to feel like he can't reach for stretch goals because of costs. However, with five kids, a job that's hanging by a thread, one income, a divorce that financially set me back much further than I had hoped, it terrifies me on how we're going to help him achieve his next academic chapter. He's done everything right - terrific grades, 5s on his AP tests, tends to do extremely well on standardized tests (thought we'll soon see), takes parts in plays, leadership council, track, etc. - so I'm hopeful the financial burden isn't as massive as I'm anticipating, but it's what keeps me up at night.
My ex-wife and I have agreed that she'll fill out the FAFSA for him and he will be claimed by her as a dependent on her 2019 taxes. The hope here is that her lack of any college coupled with a lower income might help him qualify for more aid. I don't know if that's the right move or not, but it's how we're leaning. I checked out a book called "Complete Idiot's Guide to Paying for College" and it helped some; I've at least got a better handle on all the terms, deadlines etc, but it is daunting. There is A LOT to navigate through.
But man, when I see figures tossed around like $70K a year, I just want to stick my head in the oven and remain there. Because right behind my son who is a junior is a son who is a sophomore, only he's not exactly a real go-getter in school and views it more as social event than a chance to earn an education. He's a LOT more like his dad (though way better looking and more successful with the ladies) and I treated college like a 4 year party that had nuisances like tests and papers. We're banking on there being some sort of Type 1 Diabetes scholarships available, which is sort of like banking on the Hail Mary as an offensive system in football.
And then college for a kid who is 7 followed by twin boys who are 4. Can't wait to see what college costs then, assuming I make it that long and with the stress load I carry around, that ain't a bet I'd make.