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This is awesome...wait...this sucks too! (1 Viewer)

Man of Constant Sorrow

Man of Constant Sorrow

Footballguy
In life, few things are black & white. This goes for gadgets and experiences as well. Here is an example of one I recently have found.

As I have gotten older, my bladder has seem to shrunk, and I also have developed a night thirst...drinking lots of water. The result, I now seem to wake every hour or so; go piss; and then drink some more water. This has resulted in some "not fully awake" experiences in the bathroom. One of the most annoying...dropping the lid(s) onto the bowl resulting in a loud WHACK! Very annoying to all.

Well, I found a solution not long ago: Slow Close Toilet Seat.

All I have to do, is gently push the lids towards the bowl, and they then complete the journey...landing softly and quietly. Very nice. THIS IS AWESOME!

However, now that I have become accustomed to this, I unconsciously treat ALL lids as being slow closing. Very often, when I now use a toilet not my own, I simply nudge the lids towards the bowl (expecting the slow close) and walk away....which produces the loud WHACK that I originally sought to eliminate. This is particularly embarrassing when done in the deep of night when staying as a guest with others.The result: family, friends, acquaintances and probably a few states view me as someone too stupid; too lazy; too uncoordinated or too uncaring to properly use a toilet. THIS SUCKS!

I have gotten better at avoiding this, but I still F'IT UP way too often.  :wall:

So, any other paradoxes out there? Doesn't need to be a gadget...experiences can often be this way as well.

 
RokNRole said:
Chamberpot?
Click to expand...
Yep...I keep my pot close...even when I sleep. Awesome!

However, the bowl is so big, I often over-indulge. Sucks!

Good addition to the thread.

RokNRole said:
bedpan?
Click to expand...
Tried this, but my dong is so small, I ended up pissing over the lip onto the sheets and pillow cases. 

No awesome....all suck.

RokNRole said:
colostomy bag
Click to expand...
Tried my friend, but the surgery cost was too high and the ACA did not cover it for me. :(

Plus, does little for my pissing.

Maybe when TrumpCare goes online, I can pursue this route...but I will need a urostomy as well.

Thanks for the input...will answer yours.  :thumbup:

 
Man of Constant Sorrow said:
Tried that too Turtle.

As you noted: saves water...plus, it is very convenient...AWESOME!

However, the sink's u-joint traps some of the piss...very smelly...and drew my cat to follow suit...compounding the problem...SUCKS!

Thanks for the addition...rack'in 'em up here now!  :thumbup:
Click to expand...
I would think that the amount of water used in a typical hand washing would be enough to flush out the u-joint.  Or how about you put the stopper down and fill the sink up enough that a nice torrent of water flows down all at once when you raise the stopper?  That should clear things out, no?

Very curious about the cat.  It actually jumps up on the sink and pees in it?

 
Fear The Turtle said:
I would think that the amount of water used in a typical hand washing would be enough to flush out the u-joint.
Click to expand...
I thought that too, but the piss tended to float on the top and would not flush as well as I hoped. :(

 Or how about you put the stopper down and fill the sink up enough that a nice torrent of water flows down all at once when you raise the stopper?  That should clear things out, no?
Click to expand...
WHOA! I will give this a try! Could be all AWESOME & no SUCK! I'll report back later...thanks Turtle! :)

Very curious about the cat.  It actually jumps up on the sink and pees in it?
Click to expand...
Sometimes yes...other times it would just try to reach it from the floor...F'N little drunken sot!  :rant:

 
Your bladder is a muscle, if you start to pee a lot it will shrink. You need to start holding your pee longer during the day and night even when it feels like you have to go. Fairly quickly, you will expand your bladder and not have to go as much. You also need to get to a doctor and have a finger shoved up your ### to check on your prostrate.

 
Osaurus said:
Manpons
Click to expand...
Trying to wrap my head around this one! :lol:

Baloney Sandwich said:
Your bladder is a muscle, if you start to pee a lot it will shrink. You need to start holding your pee longer during the day and night even when it feels like you have to go. Fairly quickly, you will expand your bladder and not have to go as much. You also need to get to a doctor and have a finger shoved up your ### to check on your prostrate.
Click to expand...
Great post BS. I will work on it. Thanks.

Also, I will re-check your Hot Doc thread for someone close by to finger me.  :thumbup:

 
How about being in reciprocated love with a beautiful woman?

Plusses: Beautiful woman, reciprocated love

Minuses: Other men in the wings, decrease in tolerance for drudgery, your laziness, etc.

 
honestly, it sounds like you have bigger problems than your toilet seat.  waking up every hour to take a piss sounds like torture, and it's certainly not normal.

 
if you are waking up every hour to take a numero uno you should go to a doctor and get it checked out brohan listen the swcer cares and is just saying what is best for you and not trying to reveal your personal medical information so do not take it wrong take that to the bank bromigo 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
SWC said:
if you are waking up every hour to take a numero uno you should go to a doctor and get it checked out brohan listen the swcer cares and is just saying what is best for you and not trying to reveal your personal medical information so do not take it wrong take that to the bank bromigo 
Click to expand...


Gianni Verscotchie said:
Sounds like you have diabetes
Click to expand...
Definitely go to the doc, getting up to piss every hour is not normal. Plus being thirty like that makes me think Diabetes

 
MoCS, brother. Let me echo the doctor sentiment here, too. If you can't afford it, get yourself to a free clinic somehow.  

 
Peyton Marino said:
honestly, it sounds like you have bigger problems than your toilet seat.  waking up every hour to take a piss sounds like torture, and it's certainly not normal.
Click to expand...


SWC said:
if you are waking up every hour to take a numero uno you should go to a doctor and get it checked out brohan listen the swcer cares and is just saying what is best for you and not trying to reveal your personal medical information so do not take it wrong take that to the ban
Click to expand...


Gianni Verscotchie said:
Sounds like you have diabetes
Click to expand...


Hawks64 said:
Definitely go to the doc, getting up to piss every hour is not normal. Plus being thirty like that makes me think Diabetes
Click to expand...


rockaction said:
MoCS, brother. Let me echo the doctor sentiment here, too. If you can't afford it, get yourself to a free clinic somehow.  
Click to expand...
Wow. I am going to reverse my order here:

Potentially having diabetes or another similar condition: SUCKS!

Belonging to a community that is observant and caring enough to point out symptoms and signs that I am too hard headed and stubborn to acknowledge: AWESOME!

Thanks guys...truly appreciated. I am seeing a doctor as soon as they can fit me in. I just changed insurance coverage, so, it is a little chaotic now, but my people are on the case...truly! (EDIT: Should know by tomorrow who my doc will be...will schedule then.)

Later, 

Man with Great Support 

:thumbup:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
good luck GB. I wasn't aware this could be diabetes related. I think it's something that can just happen with your prostate as you age, and they have treatments for that I believe.

no matter what it is, your overall health is likely also being affected by getting poor quality sleep. sleep is very important for overall health.

 
This is awesome:  Having a DVR.   
This sucks too:  Finally getting around to binge watching a show, and seeing campaign commercials and election coverage.

This is awesome:  Years ago set my ring tone to the distinctive one used on the TV show 24 for the phones at CTU.
This sucks too:  Trying to watch 24: Legacy and every time they cut to a scene at CTU, the background noises make me think my cell phone is going off.

 
GregR said:
This is awesome:  Having a DVR.   
This sucks too:  Finally getting around to binge watching a show, and seeing campaign commercials and election coverage.
Click to expand...
Psst...keep this kind of quiet but you can fast forward through the commercials when you DVR

 
GregR said:
This is awesome:  Years ago set my ring tone to the distinctive one used on the TV show 24 for the phones at CTU.
This sucks too:  Trying to watch 24: Legacy and every time they cut to a scene at CTU, the background noises make me think my cell phone is going off.
Click to expand...
:lol:

Love this one!

 
OK, I have an opportunity for a new & improved job on the horizon. This is AWESOME!

But, I had to stop smokin' my medicinal MJ in order to pass the piss test. This SUCKS!

In the process, it reminded me of another good paradox of my past.

In my teens, I was a stoner...go figure eh. Well, one weekend, me and my best bros went camping at local lake. This beach front was sweet with lots of lookers lurkin all about. So, how could we reel the wool in & shape the scene? Good grass!

As I'm sure many others here have discovered, and played, a common head habit was to "match". If you don't know the meaning, no problem, my non-dope-smokin best friend did not either...so, I had to educate him. In short, "matching" means: "Hey babe (preferably) or bro (less preferable, but still good), I got some potent and am lookin to mix and match...wanna roll?" (i.e. I possess some good marijuana and would like to mix it with your marijuana in or to experience something new and socialize in the process.)

Well, my buddy loved it! He was an aspiring salesman (now ULTRA successful...unlike me), so he ran with it as our point man. He racked up so much mixin that night it was ridiculous! Oddly enough, he never smoked any...just drank and got a buzz from the art of the deal. I was so glad I taught him the way. THIS WAS AWESOME!

After much mayhem and madness that evening, I eventually had to hit the sack. We had early plans in the morning and a long week-end left to go. No regrets, we laid a lot of ground work and were set for greater things to come. My dreams were pretty swell than night.

When I woke the next morning, I did the usual, as we all do. After the mundanities were complete, I was ready for a buzz. Where's my stash? I could not find it anywhere. After an hour of searching, I found an EMPTY baggie near the fire-pit! WTF? 

Well, I went into a rage! This was supposed to be our supply for the entire weekend! Who would have stolen it from me?! So, I start my #####in'...loud enough to wake the rest of my friends, who had stayed up much later than I did.

After about an hour more of my moanin', my best friend, the perfect point man - matching salesman from the night before, sheepishly made a confession.

He: "Sorry man...I was just do'in what ya taught me."

Me: "What? What do you mean?"

He: "Well, you taught me to match...so I did."

Me: "You MATCHED?  ALL OF MY WEED? LAST NIGHT? AFTER I WENT TO BED???"

He: "Yeah...."

Me: "So...you started smokin'? You got stoned? Did you at least have fun?"

He: "Nah man, you know I don't smoke...I just matched."

Me: <GLARE> "So who smoked it?"

He: "Well, they did...the guys I matched with."

:wall:

THIS SUCK TOO!

 
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