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Weird People in your office/work bathroom and Office nicknames!


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Tell you what - worst thing I ever saw in my life - some dude had an explosion in one of the stalls.  #### splatter in the toliet, on the toilet, and on the wall behind the toilet going up as high as 3 feet above the toilet.  It was unbelievable - almost defied logic.  The only thing I can think of is that he exploded right when he pulled his his pants down and was bent over.  Must have been a horrendous day for the poor bastard who had to clean it up. :yucky:

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1 hour ago, SWC said:

we had a guy named roy that used to take the toilet paper roll off of the holder and then roll it out in front of him as he walked down the hall like he was walking on a red carpet and he would shout here comes little lord fontel roy he lasted about a week until bill from the tool room made a complaint to hr and that was that take that to the bank bromigos 

Awesome

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6 minutes ago, Higgs said:

Tell you what - worst thing I ever saw in my life - some dude had an explosion in one of the stalls.  #### splatter in the toliet, on the toilet, and on the wall behind the toilet going up as high as 3 feet above the toilet.  It was unbelievable - almost defied logic.  The only thing I can think of is that he exploded right when he pulled his his pants down and was bent over.  Must have been a horrendous day for the poor bastard who had to clean it up. :yucky:

I've done exactly this and posted a few years ago about it.  And it happened right at the end of an interview.

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7 hours ago, Fat Nick said:

The only one that had me perplexed was a guy who came in, sat down in the stall next to me and clearly dropped a #2 - wiped, THEN stood up and took a piss.  I have no clue how or why he did it.  My buddy had one guess...My buddy hypothesized the guy was hung like a horse and if he took a piss sitting, he'd dunk his dong in poo water, so he'd learned to lay it over the side until he was done.

He's a lumberjack. A lumberjack's  gotta cut that log before sending it down river.

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8 hours ago, Chaka said:

He's a lumberjack. A lumberjack's  gotta cut that log before sending it down river.

Is that a thing or did you just make that up on the spot?  If you just made that up, that's impressive.  :thumbup:

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here is this thread in a nutshell gottabesweet and higgs apparently hide out and spy obama toaster style on other brohans taking a whiz and the rest of us our screwing around posting dumb stuff and denist is all seriously posting in response and then bam chaka with the lumberjack which is awesome take that to the bank bromigos 

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Just now, Apple Jack said:

I swear every dude in  my office has IBS. Sometimes have to go not one, but two or more floors down to find a vacant ####ter.

I refer to the lesser known or off the beaten path bathroom as the Bat Cave.  True privacy is hard to come by these days.

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15 hours ago, AAABatteries said:

:lmao:

His kid didn't get drafted, he writes letters to the NFL GM's trying to get his kid a tryout.  He was an above average D-3 player.   He literally throws the ball over a really tall fence, then sprints to the other side and gets it.

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1 hour ago, Moe. said:

2 stalls for 70 guys sounds terrible. 

They said they are knocking down a wall in our business park which has another bathroom by 3/31/17 - They said this in December.  It hasn't been started.

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11 hours ago, Higgs said:

Had a guy at work who used to pee at the urinal with both hands on the wall above the urinal - like he was being frisked by a cop.  So weird.

Must be the same guy that works with me.

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13 hours ago, elguapo07 said:

This moron I work with takes a half hour dump every morning after stuffing his face with a huge breakfast, sometimes he takes two 1/2hr dumps a day.

250 work days a year = 125hrs of dumps.

125 dumping hrs / 7.5hrs work day = 16.667 work days a year at minimum that this kid is in the ####ter.  What a ####### gross slob.  

We have that drinks two 64 ounce Pepsi' in the morning and also microwave's those French fry packs where you get 8 fries inside. He microwaves 3 of them and then loads them with hot sauce. 

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14 hours ago, Beef Ravioli said:

How do you even know this? 

Co-Worker came over, said the OG-Wiper was in there this morning wiping for over a minute non stop.  Wasn't getting more TP. Just non-stop sand-paper noise.  Hopefully the dude isn't rubbing one out.

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2 minutes ago, Gottabesweet said:

Haven't notice anyone eating in the bathroom.  Not sure how I'd react to that one.  I'd assume I'd post it here.

I've seen it.  I have seen someone leave a half eaten sandwich next to the sink and go in to ####.  How gross is that

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1 minute ago, need2know said:

Went in the other day.  4 stalls. All occupied.  All with pants all the way down to the ankels. I so wanted to turn the lights off

Jealous of 4 stalls.  So very jealous.  At some-point it might come to the point where I'll have to leave to use the bathroom with these goobers hanging out in there all day.

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1 minute ago, need2know said:

I've seen it.  I have seen someone leave a half eaten sandwich next to the sink and go in to ####.  How gross is that

Beats the coffee mug in our bathroom collecting feces.

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Just now, Gottabesweet said:

Jealous of 4 stalls.  So very jealous.  At some-point it might come to the point where I'll have to leave to use the bathroom with these goobers hanging out in there all day.

It could be 10.  They would always be filled.  We got like a million people in one building

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13 minutes ago, need2know said:

It could be 10.  They would always be filled.  We got like a million people in one building

I blame cell phones.   We do have a guy who brings in a USA Today and leaves it on the back corner floor in the Cadillac of stalls.

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15 minutes ago, Gottabesweet said:

I blame cell phones.   We do have a guy who brings in a USA Today and leaves it on the back corner floor in the Cadillac of stalls.

Is he reserving the stall with it?

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5 minutes ago, RokNRole said:

You have tried?

yeah, one time I set out to see how many times I could rub one out in a 24 hour period... this was probably 10 years ago.

By the 5th time I shot nothing, and by the 6th my dong just wouldn't work.

Should've tried when i was 20

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I've got 3-4 coworkers who pretty much blow both bathrooms out. (One dude has been known to make turkey calls while on the throne.) The stink is so bad the company put in those auto air fresheners that spritz out every 15 minutes. 

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2 minutes ago, Don't Noonan said:

We have this one guy in our office who is constantly blowing out on the toilet.   We are talking violent farting and spraying of the toilet with no shame.  His last name is Troth.  Now, the office joke among colleagues is that one of us has to go drop a "Troth".

:lmao:

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46 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

Why's he so angry?

I dunno... I've been tilting my feet at weird angles and making scrubbing sounds on my arms for 60 seconds at a time to mess with him though.

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1 minute ago, Kanil said:

I dunno... I've been tilting my feet at weird angles and making scrubbing sounds on my arms for 60 seconds at a time to mess with him though.

I recommend that every 15 seconds you grunt once and then go "aaaahhhhh" like someone in a Coca Cola ad from the 80s.  Like you just took a refreshing drink.  Report back.

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20 hours ago, Higgs said:

Tell you what - worst thing I ever saw in my life - some dude had an explosion in one of the stalls.  #### splatter in the toliet, on the toilet, and on the wall behind the toilet going up as high as 3 feet above the toilet.  It was unbelievable - almost defied logic.  The only thing I can think of is that he exploded right when he pulled his his pants down and was bent over.  Must have been a horrendous day for the poor bastard who had to clean it up. :yucky:

@Dentist likes this.

:lmao::lmao: 

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About 10 years ago I worked for a company where there were like 60 of us in the office, roughly half men. A few of us starting noticing that one of the stalls was getting blown up on almost daily basis, just clogged with a ton of toilet paper. We used to hear the guy in the stall just pulling on TP and using up almost the entire roll. A co-worker and I made it our mission to discover who it was but we could never just hang out in the toilet to wait for him to open the stall as he would take forever. We put up a sign in the bathroom pleading for him to stop but he kept going, felt like he was taunting us. Finally my co-worker figured it out and it was this strange salesman in another division of our company. We put up a sign in the bathroom that said "We know who you are and if you keep it up soon everyone else will know". The dude still didn't stop so we created an anonymous Gmail account and emailed him at work telling him to stop. We then told his boss and insisted that he confront the guy. He finally started to go two floors down and blown out another floor's bathroom. Dude always reeked of baby powder, my pop analysis was something bad happened to him when he was younger and he never felt clean. That is why he used so much TP and blasted himself with powder.

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we had this really reaaally fat dude. super fat that use to poop almost every hour. you would know it was him because when he was done it would smell like sour cheese or burnt Cheetos. very odd aroma..

 

he was so fat one day he leaned on the wall and it went right through the drywall

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13 hours ago, Baloney Sandwich said:

About 10 years ago I worked for a company where there were like 60 of us in the office, roughly half men. A few of us starting noticing that one of the stalls was getting blown up on almost daily basis, just clogged with a ton of toilet paper. We used to hear the guy in the stall just pulling on TP and using up almost the entire roll. A co-worker and I made it our mission to discover who it was but we could never just hang out in the toilet to wait for him to open the stall as he would take forever. We put up a sign in the bathroom pleading for him to stop but he kept going, felt like he was taunting us. Finally my co-worker figured it out and it was this strange salesman in another division of our company. We put up a sign in the bathroom that said "We know who you are and if you keep it up soon everyone else will know". The dude still didn't stop so we created an anonymous Gmail account and emailed him at work telling him to stop. We then told his boss and insisted that he confront the guy. He finally started to go two floors down and blown out another floor's bathroom. Dude always reeked of baby powder, my pop analysis was something bad happened to him when he was younger and he never felt clean. That is why he used so much TP and blasted himself with powder.

that's weird. so he would walk around with baby powder? maybe he kept it in a ziplock to hide it and put the ziplock right up to his balloon knot and smashed it in there

probably hard to keep that baby powder off your clothing too. I bet he mastered his technique. this guy sounds like a hero

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14 hours ago, Baloney Sandwich said:

About 10 years ago I worked for a company where there were like 60 of us in the office, roughly half men. A few of us starting noticing that one of the stalls was getting blown up on almost daily basis, just clogged with a ton of toilet paper. We used to hear the guy in the stall just pulling on TP and using up almost the entire roll. A co-worker and I made it our mission to discover who it was but we could never just hang out in the toilet to wait for him to open the stall as he would take forever. We put up a sign in the bathroom pleading for him to stop but he kept going, felt like he was taunting us. Finally my co-worker figured it out and it was this strange salesman in another division of our company. We put up a sign in the bathroom that said "We know who you are and if you keep it up soon everyone else will know". The dude still didn't stop so we created an anonymous Gmail account and emailed him at work telling him to stop. We then told his boss and insisted that he confront the guy. He finally started to go two floors down and blown out another floor's bathroom. Dude always reeked of baby powder, my pop analysis was something bad happened to him when he was younger and he never felt clean. That is why he used so much TP and blasted himself with powder.

I'm guessing there's a lot of OCD wipers out-there.

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