I’ve stated recently I’ve made some good friends that I care about a lot since moving to Texas. There are 4 of us of various personalities and ages. I’m the slight oldest. I’ll be 34 in May. The others are 33, 29 and 24. There has been a recent incident that I’ll try to explain without going in to detail.
The way I view these guys are like brothers, pretty sure we all sort of feel somewhat the same way, some of them have said as much and we all interact in that way. Tough on eachother but caring and friendly.
I’m closest in personality with the youngest. It’s always a constant sarcastic battle which I like but lately he’s been in a very bad mood and I felt like he’s been getting a little mean and not being himself. Our interactions are always humorous but competitive. We recently had a couple of verbal spats going both ways but it was forgotten and we moved on and continued as normal for a while, at least I felt I did.
Recently things kind of overwhelmed me mentally, mostly because I care about him and I was kind of dissapointed in the way he was acting lately and I started to get a little concerned he wasn’t who I thought he was. I expressed my feelings with him and only him a couple days ago. In a way I’m sure was hurtful but I only said what I said because I cared about him. It kind of just built up a while and came out in the most constructive way possible.
I find out today he told one of the other mutual friends ( presumably the fourth and probably other people that we mutually know). The friend he told contacted me today , at first very angry, but I calmed him down basically by telling him “ what I said to him was between him and I. I had no intention of getting anyone else involved and frankly it’s nobody else’s business but me and him. You have no reason to be angry at me when it doesn’t concern you. What he told you was a little inaccurate . It’s entirely possible I’m wrong but it’s between us, not you”.
We had plans to meet that night which he wanted to cancel because he was upset about what I said. He relented and said “ let’s get together and talk about what happened”
i replied. “ I’d rather not. Anything between us and my feelings are not something I feel like sharing with you guys. It’s between us”
He understood and we are still getting together tomorrow night. My main concern is that me and the friend he told had recently been discussing a collaborative effort ( the children’s book illustrations) and I have been concerned about the youngest guys reaction. Prior to the beef he knew me and the guy he complained to were helping eachother.
” If he had a problem with what I said why tell a mutual friend, likely everyone, and possibly tell him not to collaborate with me ( I don’t know if he attempted this or not). Why say nothing to me “?
im also concerned because the young friend is a hot head that might just fly off the handle. That worries me because if he’s that angry and won’t talk to me we might not get past this tiff. He is also the type that may want to go beyond words, which i can understand because I’m the only friend that stands up to him. I wouldn’t entertain that kind of resolution and he is a smart guy that wouldn’t push a stupid issue.
I have very little social experience and skills. Is this kind of problem normal among guy friends or is this teenage girl stuff?
The way I view these guys are like brothers, pretty sure we all sort of feel somewhat the same way, some of them have said as much and we all interact in that way. Tough on eachother but caring and friendly.
I’m closest in personality with the youngest. It’s always a constant sarcastic battle which I like but lately he’s been in a very bad mood and I felt like he’s been getting a little mean and not being himself. Our interactions are always humorous but competitive. We recently had a couple of verbal spats going both ways but it was forgotten and we moved on and continued as normal for a while, at least I felt I did.
Recently things kind of overwhelmed me mentally, mostly because I care about him and I was kind of dissapointed in the way he was acting lately and I started to get a little concerned he wasn’t who I thought he was. I expressed my feelings with him and only him a couple days ago. In a way I’m sure was hurtful but I only said what I said because I cared about him. It kind of just built up a while and came out in the most constructive way possible.
I find out today he told one of the other mutual friends ( presumably the fourth and probably other people that we mutually know). The friend he told contacted me today , at first very angry, but I calmed him down basically by telling him “ what I said to him was between him and I. I had no intention of getting anyone else involved and frankly it’s nobody else’s business but me and him. You have no reason to be angry at me when it doesn’t concern you. What he told you was a little inaccurate . It’s entirely possible I’m wrong but it’s between us, not you”.
We had plans to meet that night which he wanted to cancel because he was upset about what I said. He relented and said “ let’s get together and talk about what happened”
i replied. “ I’d rather not. Anything between us and my feelings are not something I feel like sharing with you guys. It’s between us”
He understood and we are still getting together tomorrow night. My main concern is that me and the friend he told had recently been discussing a collaborative effort ( the children’s book illustrations) and I have been concerned about the youngest guys reaction. Prior to the beef he knew me and the guy he complained to were helping eachother.
” If he had a problem with what I said why tell a mutual friend, likely everyone, and possibly tell him not to collaborate with me ( I don’t know if he attempted this or not). Why say nothing to me “?
im also concerned because the young friend is a hot head that might just fly off the handle. That worries me because if he’s that angry and won’t talk to me we might not get past this tiff. He is also the type that may want to go beyond words, which i can understand because I’m the only friend that stands up to him. I wouldn’t entertain that kind of resolution and he is a smart guy that wouldn’t push a stupid issue.
I have very little social experience and skills. Is this kind of problem normal among guy friends or is this teenage girl stuff?
