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FBGs track their wives’ cars and check their oil (1 Viewer)

Otis said:
Are you married?
Click to expand...
Yes. Albeit with no kids. 

The point is, why is it so difficult to check under the hood? Even catch a glimpse? Hell, it doesn't even have to be day of - that type of care is noticable for 2-3 days after.

You'll know if she made some "unnecessary effort".

 
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Soulfly3 said:
Not reading thru 6 pages, but the absolute FIRST thing you shouldve done was check her cooter before she left.

If it was perfectly manicured, trimmed, waxed, etc.... Start dividing things in half.
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Actually, yes, this was brought up about five pages ago.

 
You guys are way too paranoid!! 

I came across some messages between my wife and multiple random men. Good thing we can communicate so well, if not, we’d prob have some issues right now.

When she was out until 3am last night, if our communication was that of a weaker couple, no way I would’ve believed her explanation of where she was, the condoms in her purse, or even the gangbang videos shot on her phone. 

Glad I can actually talk to my wife, unlike you suckers!

 
fantasycurse42 said:
You guys are way too paranoid!! 

I came across some messages between my wife and multiple random men. Good thing we can communicate so well, if not, we’d prob have some issues right now.

When she was out until 3am last night, if our communication was that of a weaker couple, no way I would’ve believed her explanation of where she was, the condoms in her purse, or even the gangbang videos shot on her phone. 

Glad I can actually talk to my wife, unlike you suckers!
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I saw those videos. What was weird was that she made every one of those dudes put on a Swatch, before starting. Never seen that fetish before.

 
Otis said:
By the way, not sure if it’s a coincidence, but for the first time in eons my wife went out by herself tonight to “a friend’s house” to have drinks. 
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Invite him over for a 3 way, see who the bigger man is. 

 
Find a picture of an overweight chick flashing her beaver on the internet. Make sure it's close enough to your wife's weight to be at least somewhat believable, but the less attractive body, the better. Make sure it has out-of-control pubic hair. Now, photoshop your wife's face onto it from another picture. Swipe the wife's cellphone, put the picture on it, then text it to the guy.  Wait for response.

1) "Ummm, why are you sending me this?" - You're in the clear. Not only that, you've damn near guaranteed the guy will never make a play for your wife going forward. Answer back - "OMG, I can't believe I did that. Please delete that photo and don't ever mention I did this, to me or anyone else. Let's pretend it never happened." Then delete the whole conversation. He'll start acting weird towards your wife and she'll never know why. Slowly, whatever relationship they have will deteriorate as he acts oddly and shows no interest in invading her panties.

2) "Damn, you let that get out of hand. Get the pruningshears ready." - They've had sex, but not for a while. Text back, "Come by and take care of it for me." Then, when he does, stab him in the throat with pruning shears. Hopefully, he'll appreciate the irony as his throat fills with blood.

3) "What? That isn't you...." - he is actively banging your wife. Just drive to his house and set it on fire.

4) "Sweet !! I love 70s bush ! That is too funny.... I'm going to go fap to this now." He's not banging your wife, but is clearly cooler than you are. You should just bow out gracefully.

 
Nowhere else to put this, feels like this is a perfect spot:

Took my wife & kids to see my grandpa today at an assisted living facility, he’s super old and all of those around are too (side note, approaching 90, barely there, but he was a great man and deserves the plug). 

Sitting in a common room with him and there were about a dozen or so other 80+ (mostly senile) individuals sitting there. This woman had this pretty real looking fake cat on her walker in front of her (one of those walkers that can also be used as a seat) and my 5 year old is standing about 4 feet from her, staring at this fake cat... he turns around and yells, “DAD!! Look at this cat!!” 

This woman, who has to be 85 responds in some old crazy granny voice, “Do you want to pet my #####cat, come pet the #####!”

On the ride home the kids fell asleep, wife & I laughed about this for like 15 straight minutes.

 
fantasycurse42 said:
Nowhere else to put this, feels like this is a perfect spot:

Took my wife & kids to see my grandpa today at an assisted living facility, he’s super old and all of those around are too (side note, approaching 90, barely there, but he was a great man and deserves the plug). 

Sitting in a common room with him and there were about a dozen or so other 80+ (mostly senile) individuals sitting there. This woman had this pretty real looking fake cat on her walker in front of her (one of those walkers that can also be used as a seat) and my 5 year old is standing about 4 feet from her, staring at this fake cat... he turns around and yells, “DAD!! Look at this cat!!” 

This woman, who has to be 85 responds in some old crazy granny voice, “Do you want to pet my #####cat, come pet the #####!”

On the ride home the kids fell asleep, wife & I laughed about this for like 15 straight minutes.
Click to expand...
Seems gross.

 
SayWhat? said:
Was just down on all fours on the bathroom floor looking up at my wife as she exited the shower.

#statusquomeansnobodyelsegettingablow
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This man learned something very important this evening. 

Hopefully positive news. 

 
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I need a life—it is 3:15, I am sicker than a dog and I am up responding to a Otis thread  :no:

The solution is wait for her to take a shower, get her phone and then turn her location services on. (no that isn’t code for something else you sick nerds).  If it is an iPhone—use find my iPhone when she is gone and you will know what is up

Report back to us your findings. 

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Find a picture of an overweight chick flashing her beaver on the internet. Make sure it's close enough to your wife's weight to be at least somewhat believable, but the less attractive body, the better. Make sure it has out-of-control pubic hair. Now, photoshop your wife's face onto it from another picture. Swipe the wife's cellphone, put the picture on it, then text it to the guy.  Wait for response.

1) "Ummm, why are you sending me this?" - You're in the clear. Not only that, you've damn near guaranteed the guy will never make a play for your wife going forward. Answer back - "OMG, I can't believe I did that. Please delete that photo and don't ever mention I did this, to me or anyone else. Let's pretend it never happened." Then delete the whole conversation. He'll start acting weird towards your wife and she'll never know why. Slowly, whatever relationship they have will deteriorate as he acts oddly and shows no interest in invading her panties.

2) "Damn, you let that get out of hand. Get the pruningshears ready." - They've had sex, but not for a while. Text back, "Come by and take care of it for me." Then, when he does, stab him in the throat with pruning shears. Hopefully, he'll appreciate the irony as his throat fills with blood.

3) "What? That isn't you...." - he is actively banging your wife. Just drive to his house and set it on fire.

4) "Sweet !! I love 70s bush ! That is too funny.... I'm going to go fap to this now." He's not banging your wife, but is clearly cooler than you are. You should just bow out gracefully.
Click to expand...
And there it is! The @Evilgrin 72 mike drop for the thread!! :lmao:  

 
Otis said:
You guys checking your wives’ oil before they head to the supermarket too?  Can’t leave things to chance these days. 
Click to expand...
Must be turrible having a smokeshow wife that you only get to see fully clothed. :(

Sorry, bud.

 
Courtjester said:
I need a life—it is 3:15, I am sicker than a dog and I am up responding to a Otis thread  :no:

The solution is wait for her to take a shower, get her phone and then turn her location services on. (no that isn’t code for something else you sick nerds).  If it is an iPhone—use find my iPhone when she is gone and you will know what is up

Report back to us your findings. 
Click to expand...
yeah, so a guy i work with did this when his wife started "going to the gym" a lot... then started "going out with the girls" and coming home blind hammered at 3 AM.

turns out she was driving a couple blocks away and banging one of her exes.

capper:  he called her out on it. she responded by telling this guy that he never ####ed her like this guy did and she had no regrets about cheating.

twist: they're still together

dumb *******

 
mr. furley said:
yeah, so a guy i work with did this when his wife started "going to the gym" a lot... then started "going out with the girls" and coming home blind hammered at 3 AM.

turns out she was driving a couple blocks away and banging one of her exes.

capper:  he called her out on it. she responded by telling this guy that he never ####ed her like this guy did and she had no regrets about cheating.

twist: they're still together

dumb *******
Click to expand...
Can’t recover from that. 

 
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