Anyone that has met me knows that sober I am not a talker, but I am a great listener and usually interested in the person that I am talking with. But being a not talker and not really interested in small talk, what are some unbiased and unleading question that can keep the conversation going when that pause happens when no one has something to say.
I love when people open and let you onto their own little world but when we start talking weather or what not, I just want to stab myself in my eyes or just walk away.
I am only a talker when I am drinking so open people are interesting to me, just like to keep them talking on non bs topics.
I officiate football and basketball and one of the things I've run into is a bunch of car rides with other officials that I usually don't know all that well. As a result, I have had a ton of conversations with people where we are just trying to kill the time together and keep things interesting. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes not so much.
Unfortunately for some of my travel partners, I am a bit of a talker, so I have to consciously make an effort not to talk someone's ear off when I get rolling. One of the ways I do this is to get the other person talking more, which is a similar problem to what you are describing here.
The things I typically get into is stuff from their past or current lives. I'll either ask a question to move deeper into a topic that was covered earlier or just move into a general topic that I could get them going on. Questions like:
"You said your son was in high school, does he play sports or is he involved in any other activities?" "Does he know what he wants to do after High School?"
"So you grew up in town X, what was that place like as a kid?" "Did you enjoy growing up there?" "When was the last time you went back?"
Work, family, hobbies, etc. are all easy and typically safe topics to cover in casual conversations. The key is finding something they are passionate enough about to get them actually talking. Every now and then I hit a few dead ends and just give up and ride in silence but that has only happened maybe 5-10 times in the past 7 years.
