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31 minutes ago, Binky The Doormat said:

Genghis Khan loved a good bawdy joke.  

But being a Mongolian standup was no picnic. Temujin was a vicious bawdy-shamer

Edited by wikkidpissah
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Orville and Wilbur Wright originally invented the toaster as an early attempt to send things flying through the air.  After burning the first aircraft, they decided to recalibrate the device and use it as a means to toast slices of bread.  

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On the East Coast, Best Foods brand mayo is sold as Hellman's. Same jar, same color scheme and design to the label, even the same jingle in commercials. Except on the East Coast, the jingle makes no sense. "Bring out your Best Foods, and bring out your best." Makes sense. "Bring out your Hellman's, and bring out your best"? Spring for a new jingle, you cheap mayo purveyoys.

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2 hours ago, Walking Boot said:

When he was still just a lawyer in Illinois, Abraham Lincoln formed the first Pee Club outside the original 13 colonies in a log cabin. 

He did this to be a cover for his vampire hunting activities.

 

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6 hours ago, Standing Hampton said:

For example, the Beatles song, “Norwegian Wood”, is about the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I’s wife Theodora.

 

 

Theodora’s father was a bear trainer. She was also a prostitute before she met Justy.

 

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3 hours ago, Patrick Bateman said:

Anne Boleyn, and her daughter Elizabeth I were both struck by lightening. They started covering their faces with powder to hide their freckles. That's why they look like ghosts in every painting throughout history. 

Wait.  You mean you didn't misspell "lightning" on purpose?

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7 hours ago, ProstheticRGK said:

On the East Coast, Best Foods brand mayo is sold as Hellman's. Same jar, same color scheme and design to the label, even the same jingle in commercials. Except on the East Coast, the jingle makes no sense. "Bring out your Best Foods, and bring out your best." Makes sense. "Bring out your Hellman's, and bring out your best"? Spring for a new jingle, you cheap mayo purveyoys.

Big Mayo would never allow it.

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At Grant’s second inaugural ball, hundreds of cages with canaries were hung in the rafters to merrily sing in Grant’s inauguration. However, there was no heat in the building and the temperature dropped to single digits. Many dancers made a quick exit when dead, frozen canaries began raining down on their heads.

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