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Commish after 15 years, and I might be quitting my league (1 Viewer)

Archiebonker

Archiebonker

Footballguy
Morning guys, so we are in week 1 of year 16 of our league.  I've been commish for 15 years now. I was close to quitting the last two seasons, but the thrill of building , running, and just making sure everyone was happy is great. Love the game too. But the in-fighting, bickering, accusations, and so on and so on has really stressed me out these past few seasons. 

  I finally got to my breaking yesterday and had to say something about leaving. I always hatted guys who left during the season, but I think if I leave them the tools. They can manage. 

I'm so not a #######. I spend a lot of my own money into the league each year. I spend so much time on the site and league each year that it was a second job for me. 

Anyways, I'm really going to miss it. But I think it's time for me.  

 
Would anyone else be willing to step into the commish role for you, or are you just done with the league period?

 
As a fellow long time commish, don’t quit. Play the season out, and if you still want to move on, announce it right after the season so your league has time to replace you. It’s a thankless job most of the time, but it’s a job you took on willingly, and you owe it to the league to do your job. 

I was in a long time baseball league (not the commish) and I moved on from that league before this season for the reasons you state above. I’m in my other league still (where I am the commish) and I’m enjoying baseball again for the first time in a while. 

 
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Sorry man, I don't want to take over, but wanted to chime in with feeling your pain.  I've been there too.  And although leaving was tough, I had zero regrets and was glad I moved on.  It's just fantasy football.  Don't let it affect your real life.  

Good luck bro.

Edit: I did play out the final season and did my best to ignore the noise.  

 
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Don't listen to the dark side - hang in there and run the league this year. Maybe you can try some discussions to improve the problems in your league and if not give your leaguemates enough time to let someone step up or just end the league altogether. (and I have been a commish in my league for over thirty years - some of which were tough)

 
And this is why I'm an ironclad believer in "good commishes" should get a small percentage of $$$ for running a league.

 Just suppose its 5% of the league prize pool.

In all my years of being in leagues, this is easily worth it. As mentioned, its a thankless job, and a fair guy running the show is worth its weight in gold.

A bad one can cause hard feelings and cause leagues to break up in season.

 You only get one shot at this every year, paying a tad extra to get someone to do things right is worth its weight in gold.

EDIT - Not saying the OP is a bad guy, but perhaps if he was paid something, he'd be more inclined to stick it out.

 TZM

 
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Archiebonker said:
I'm so not a #######. I spend a lot of my own money into the league each year. I spend so much time on the site and league each year that it was a second job for me. 
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You're probably like a lot of guys who are commish and care too much when no one else does. So technically u stressed urself out.

Imo finish out the season but try to be the commish as an admin, not as an arbitrator or on the other extreme dictator. Let conflicts work themselves out and defer any and all league decisions to the league or add two co commish to be a three way vote. Ull be surprised how often things really don't need ur intervention. 

If u can make this transition I'd bet ull go back for next year. I did all of this about a decade ago and the game is fun again. Take urself out of being the commish best u can for the season. There's absolutely a part of us that love the control and too often convince ourselves we helped somebody. I sympathize but nobody in ur league really cares that much. 

 
Brother I feel you pain. I ran 18 leagues for 15 or more years (I lost count) and was so tired of the double standard placed on commishes vs owners, the countless unpaid hours which were rarely thanked or appreciated, it just isn't worth it. Now I'm just an owner in the leagues and its literally 10000x better. What a stupid sap I was for running so many leagues for so long. NEVER again lol

 
Archiebonker said:
Morning guys, so we are in week 1 of year 16 of our league.  I've been commish for 15 years now. I was close to quitting the last two seasons, but the thrill of building , running, and just making sure everyone was happy is great. Love the game too. But the in-fighting, bickering, accusations, and so on and so on has really stressed me out these past few seasons. 

  I finally got to my breaking yesterday and had to say something about leaving. I always hatted guys who left during the season, but I think if I leave them the tools. They can manage. 

I'm so not a #######. I spend a lot of my own money into the league each year. I spend so much time on the site and league each year that it was a second job for me. 

Anyways, I'm really going to miss it. But I think it's time for me.  
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Deal with this issue. What are the fighting over and screaming about? Do they have a valid complaint, or not? If not, then tell them to grew up, shut up, or get out (or throw them out). Don't make yourself sick and have your enjoyment of the game ruined by a few fools.

 
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If it's making you that miserable quit now. If they want to figure it out, they'll figure it out. If not, I'm sure theyll appreciate what u did a bit more.

 
What is all the whining and complaining about?   I’ve been the commissioner of my league since 1994 and we don’t bicker about anything.   We have clear-cut rules and there is little room for that.   Is it an issue that can be fixed with clarified and defined rules?

 
Ashem said:
Deal with this issue. What are the fighting over and screaming about? Do they have a valid complaint, or not? If not, then tell them to grew up, shut up, or get out (or throw them out). Don't make yourself sick and have your enjoyment of the game ruined by a few fools.
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Just guessing, but in the baseball league I talked about, there were like 4 or 5 owners who would complain about every trade, no matter what. There was a belief in the league that there were 2 “factions” or groups of teams within the league that only traded with each other. And when a team was out of it, they would make a sketchy trade with another team within the “faction” that was a contender. A few of these trades did happen, but since it’s a keeper league, most trades weren’t as unfair as they appeared. The #####ing and complaining was never ending and it ruined any fun that was left, so I quit. I couldn’t even imagine being the commish of that league. Oof. 

 
Archiebonker said:
Morning guys, so we are in week 1 of year 16 of our league.  I've been commish for 15 years now. I was close to quitting the last two seasons, but the thrill of building , running, and just making sure everyone was happy is great. Love the game too. But the in-fighting, bickering, accusations, and so on and so on has really stressed me out these past few seasons. 

  I finally got to my breaking yesterday and had to say something about leaving. I always hatted guys who left during the season, but I think if I leave them the tools. They can manage. 

I'm so not a #######. I spend a lot of my own money into the league each year. I spend so much time on the site and league each year that it was a second job for me. 

Anyways, I'm really going to miss it. But I think it's time for me.  
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How much money we talkin' to enter? Most of the time this is the root cause of the bolded sentence.

 
flapgreen said:
What is there to fight about in fantasy football? 
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Not coming at you @flapgreen, just my thoughts on your question.

I commish three leagues and some people are never happy. Ironically, the same dorks that make the most noise are generally the last people to come correct on fees :shrug:

Then, when you ask said crybabies if they want to handle the money, you get that mealy-mouthed garbage about how they can't step up for one reason or another. Frustrating :rant:

:banned:  

 
I always hatted guys who left during the season, but I think if I leave them the tools. They can manage. 
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As long as the haberdashery is functional, they should all be good with their hats.  :unsure:  

 
What kind of person can't handle a fantasy football league. If it's so bad you gotta come to a message board just get out. Take a walk and hug your dog. Maybe take the other half to a bar and have a drink and some chips and salsa.

 
Slider said:
What kind of person can't handle a fantasy football league. If it's so bad you gotta come to a message board just get out. Take a walk and hug your dog. Maybe take the other half to a bar and have a drink and some chips and salsa.
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Are you a commissioner? 

There are lots of people that can't handle being in a magic football league. Not understanding your reply

:banned:

 
flapgreen said:
What is there to fight about in fantasy football? 
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Oh man, Flap--being a commish sucks!! This is my 26th year in FF and I was a commish for many, many years. I have vowed to never do it again, no matter what.

I have always believed in having an iron-clad rule book so there are no problems, but every year something would happen--someone would be mad about some little thing. Money brings out the worst in people.  

That being said, the OP needs to finish out the season and then leave at the end. 

 
I commished my league for 16 years. Finally got fed up with all of the BS at the end of the 2017 season, having been accused of cheating by the biggest whiner in the league. I'd had enough and walked away. Only 2 folks thanked me for my years of service to this league. Always ran smoothly, never an issue paying out winnings.

Prior to last season, 2018, they still hadn't found anyone to take over my team so, out of a love for the league I created, I offered to re-join if it got too close to the draft and they still hadn't found anyone. I was immediately voted back in semi-unanimously (except for the whiner.) My only condition was that I wanted nothing to do with running the league. They were going to have to figure it out and I'd be willing to offer advice when asked, as I was the most knowledgeable. 

Currently, there is a 3-member commissioners board trying to handle everything I did solo for 16 years. They're getting there. I offer advice when asked. The best part is that I'm much more focused on my own team and am enjoying myself so much more than I ever had before. When an issue arises I don't have to mediate anything or deal with it. When decisions are made, I accept them and play on, even if I disagree.

Being a commissioner takes a certain type of individual. I did it because I loved doing it. It was never a dictatorship. Every year, any rule change requests were voted on by the league as a whole. Every team had an equal vote and being commissioner granted me no extra privileges. I was never paid a cent and never wanted to be, nor asked to be. In truth, 95% of fantasy players are unaware or clueless of the time and energy devoted to the tasks a commissioner absolutely must handle and deal with. It truly is a thankless position. I got tremendous satisfaction regardless because the league generally ran smoothly year-in and year-out with few exceptions. I liked that the guys could always, always count on me. I took pride in it.

My advice to the OP......make the league aware now of your intentions to leave at the end of the year, with the caveat that you will continue to play (to win) until the season's over. After that you'll be stepping down and likely out. This gives them an early heads up and hopefully it'll prompt some action by some of them if they wish to continue on without you. Someone will need to step up if they do. 

Also, don't feel bad at all. Everything usually comes to an end at some point. This is your end point. Embrace it.

Oh, by the way, since I stepped down I'm enjoying my league much, much more than I ever had before. I know I'm repeating myself here but, I feel it needs mentioned again

Rody

 
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This sounds exactly like my story but on year 19 and I refuse to give anyone the gratification of running me off a league in which I started. As for my accuser, I muted his 🙂, unplugged it then booted his ### right off the stage and out of the building straight to the curb! Our Bylaws says I have the right!

#Godmode

Tex

 
Archiebonker said:
Morning guys, so we are in week 1 of year 16 of our league.  I've been commish for 15 years now. I was close to quitting the last two seasons, but the thrill of building , running, and just making sure everyone was happy is great. Love the game too. But the in-fighting, bickering, accusations, and so on and so on has really stressed me out these past few seasons. 

  I finally got to my breaking yesterday and had to say something about leaving. I always hatted guys who left during the season, but I think if I leave them the tools. They can manage. 

I'm so not a #######. I spend a lot of my own money into the league each year. I spend so much time on the site and league each year that it was a second job for me. 

Anyways, I'm really going to miss it. But I think it's time for me.  
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Hey, it’s not my fault I don’t have money for you now or any time during the season and you have to hunt me down.

I messaged you 5 minutes ago on the site and I don’t have a reply yet so now I’m mad. I got fourth place and want my money even though you only pay 3 spots and I still haven’t paid you. 

You need to push the draft to another day because I have my nephews soccer game. Thanks. Now I need you to pause the draft because I’m not sure who I want and 2 minutes wasn’t enough because the first 1:45 I didn’t know it was my pick. 

 
You're complaining about your leaguemates creating drama and your solution is to create your own drama?  Ask if anyone would like to take over commish duties.  If there is no suitable replacement, finish out the season as commish and announce your retirement on the Tuesday after your league finishes.

 
It's all about the people in your league.  I commished for a few years, and will never do it again, and in fact left the league.  The problem was, it was a local league with friends, and friends of friends.  I didn't see a clear path to removing anyone without causing problems outside of the league.  So I simply left, and wasn't the least bit worried about it.

 
My suggestion hand the keys to the next commish. Be his assistant and stay off the message board. Then just play. 

Rules arguments killed the fun for me for years. Now I just play and win. 

 
Dunno I’m going on 17 years and it seems to get easier each season.   It’s a lot easier to collect cash these days with Venmo and PayPal.  And I have no clue how you spend hours working on your site? Don’t you just pay the league site and let it roll? 

We also have a b!tch session/meeting each summer, you want to complain that’s the time to do it.  Anyone whines during the season I say write it down and bring it up next summer. They all vote on new rules and such, leave it up to them.  

 
I've lost good friends being commissioner. It's a thankless job that I continue to do.......idk why sometimes. 

 
Milkman said:
I've lost good friends being commissioner. It's a thankless job that I continue to do.......idk why sometimes. 
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They probably weren't that good of friends.  You will sometimes find a person's true colors in a fantasy league.  And local leagues can be the worst.  People you'll find on a message board who you don't even know in person but are obsessed with football will usually be good and fair leaguemates.  The kid who lived across the street from you growing up who understands little about football can be the worst leaguemate.  And if you're in a local league, 4 owners will be your legit friends, 4 others will be outside your inner circle but still pretty solid, and then the other 4 will be dudes you don't even like or respect.  This if life.  And life is smoother when you learn to have positive interactions with people who suck.  And thoroughly written rules will prevent a lot of preventable drama.

 
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Don Hutson said:
 And life is smoother when you learn to have positive interactions with people who suck.
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This is one of the best things I've ever seen on a message board..... EVER. It would be nice if it was that easy to me though.  :(

Instead I'm an a$$hole, who treats the people who suck, just like they treat others. I don't give them a pass.   

 TZM

 
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Remember back in the good old FF days when there was no internet? You only had to hear the whiners a few times a year when you all got together. USA Today was your stat sheet. Much simpler and much quieter FF times. Sometimes still miss everyone getting together at someone’s house for a draft. 

But now everyone has instant access to everything, which includes crying on the message board. Honestly if your real life stressing I would step down, cause FF is supposed to be fun. If your not all stressed out then finish the season and step down. Hard to replace the Commish during the season.

I was watching an old Andy Griffith show and his girlfriend at the time was running for some sort of office and Andy says to her that she didn’t want to worry bout that men stuff, so she could do the fun women stuff like shopping and “gossiping”. Obviously Andy never had to Commish a FF league or he would be sorely disappointed in us men. 

 
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The Claymaker said:
Remember back in the good old FF days when there was no internet? You only had to hear the whiners a few times a year when you all got together. USA Today was your stat sheet. Much simpler and much quieter FF times. Sometimes still miss everyone getting together at someone’s house for a draft. 

But now everyone has instant access to everything, which includes crying on the message board. Honestly if your real life stressing I would step down, cause FF is supposed to be fun. If your not all stressed out then finish the season and step down. Hard to replace the Commish during the season.

I was watching an old Andy Griffith show and his girlfriend at the time was running for some sort of office and Andy says to her that she didn’t want to worry bout that men stuff, so she could do the fun women stuff like shopping and “gossiping”. Obviously Andy never had to Commish a FF league or he would be sorely disappointed in us men. 
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Surprised you can post on a message board or check your email to join a league🤣

 
The Claymaker said:
Wait, where am I? 🤔

I am old, no doubt. But grew old with technology, so not too bad. 
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I’m in a pen and paper league still🤷‍♂️ But I got the spot because i drafted the team for a few years when one member went to a nursing home, and took over when he passed away a few years ago. 

 
The Claymaker said:
Remember back in the good old FF days when there was no internet? You only had to hear the whiners a few times a year when you all got together. USA Today was your stat sheet. Much simpler and much quieter FF times. Sometimes still miss everyone getting together at someone’s house for a draft. 

But now everyone has instant access to everything, which includes crying on the message board. Honestly if your real life stressing I would step down, cause FF is supposed to be fun. If your not all stressed out then finish the season and step down. Hard to replace the Commish during the season.

I was watching an old Andy Griffith show and his girlfriend at the time was running for some sort of office and Andy says to her that she didn’t want to worry bout that men stuff, so she could do the fun women stuff like shopping and “gossiping”. Obviously Andy never had to Commish a FF league or he would be sorely disappointed in us men. 
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Ah, USA Today and Excel. I remember having to manually do the stats and standings on Tuesday or Wednesday. Good times (well not really, that took a lot of extra legwork lol).

 
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Wow, thanks for all the messages guys. Love reading these. I'm not one to complain on line about anything,  but I thought there might be some on here that understand. 

  I'll give you a bit more details. I started the league 16 years ago. Have made many mistakes over the years, but have always learned and improved.  

   i've done most of those things you guys discussed, including brining in Co Commmish's, Votes, Controlled the money, setup the rule books and re vamped it each year. But even with all these, we still have the same problems each year. Maybe it's (like one of you said), now days the tech world makes the problems easier to notice. 

Me :Spend a ton of time getting the league and everyone ready and excited each season,  spend about $300 into the league each year. (league site improvements / Champ mugs / league cozies - T shirts ) and I donate $300 of my own money  to our NFL playoff contest  winners favourite charity each year dedicated on one of deceased members.  

But yes,  i feel like a kindergarten teacher sometimes. it adds a stress to my life i don't need. It's a tough balance of fun of fantasy football strategy and anger over problems that I'm expected to solve. After all these years running and building the league. i don't think handing it over all my work to one of the other guys is going to help. 

Thanks again for all the talk and advice. 

 
I have been the commish in a 14 team league for 10 years.   We have a firm set of rules that everyone in the league all agreed on.  It is $500.00 a team entry that must be paid in full before the draft started.  I actually started collecting around Memorial Day in case some people needed more time.  Last 5 years every team was paid in full a month before our draft.

This was a serious/fun league.  Every team usually had side bets every week with each other between 10.00 to 50.00 a game. So no matter how bad things were going no team ever tanked or quit competing because they had money bet every week..that helped immensely.

The only whining we ever had was trying to get a draft date that accommodated everyone.

 
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Archiebonker said:
Wow, thanks for all the messages guys. Love reading these. I'm not one to complain on line about anything,  but I thought there might be some on here that understand. 

  I'll give you a bit more details. I started the league 16 years ago. Have made many mistakes over the years, but have always learned and improved.  

   i've done most of those things you guys discussed, including brining in Co Commmish's, Votes, Controlled the money, setup the rule books and re vamped it each year. But even with all these, we still have the same problems each year. Maybe it's (like one of you said), now days the tech world makes the problems easier to notice. 

Me :Spend a ton of time getting the league and everyone ready and excited each season,  spend about $300 into the league each year. (league site improvements / Champ mugs / league cozies - T shirts ) and I donate $300 of my own money  to our NFL playoff contest  winners favourite charity each year dedicated on one of deceased members.  

But yes,  i feel like a kindergarten teacher sometimes. it adds a stress to my life i don't need. It's a tough balance of fun of fantasy football strategy and anger over problems that I'm expected to solve. After all these years running and building the league. i don't think handing it over all my work to one of the other guys is going to help. 

Thanks again for all the talk and advice. 
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I'll ask again... how much money are guys throwing in to play/win?

I've been commish in my primary league for 27 years, same guys, lots of fun, never any real sour grapes, play low stakes (more for fun).

Played in/commished several leagues over that same span with more money involved... now you've got the cries of collusion, people seeking loopholes, high turnover, etc.

What's more important... taking money from your friends or having fun?

 
Dizzy said:
I'll ask again... how much money are guys throwing in to play/win?

I've been commish in my primary league for 27 years, same guys, lots of fun, never any real sour grapes, play low stakes (more for fun).

Played in/commished several leagues over that same span with more money involved... now you've got the cries of collusion, people seeking loopholes, high turnover, etc.

What's more important... taking money from your friends or having fun?
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Dizzy said:
I'll ask again... how much money are guys throwing in to play/win?

I've been commish in my primary league for 27 years, same guys, lots of fun, never any real sour grapes, play low stakes (more for fun).

Played in/commished several leagues over that same span with more money involved... now you've got the cries of collusion, people seeking loopholes, high turnover, etc.

What's more important... taking money from your friends or having fun?
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huthut said:
Any reason why you cannot finish this year, then make someone else commissioner for next year?
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I'm looking into that. Thanks 

 
it's not bad, we used to be higher $ , but now it's only $200 per member. And it's not just one problem, it's multi things each year. Even after discussions each season on how to improve things. Maybe I'm just overly stressed about things, but other members only hear about a small percentage of the problems or things that are said.  Guess my boiling point has alot lower than it used to be. I think it's worn me down over the years. It's taken the joy of just playing fantasy football and beating people each week. 

 
If you’re thinking of quitting ... at the start of the season? Best time of the year arguably? 

Then quit. But don’t ruin the rest of your league member year. They’ll easily get by without you. 

 
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