What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

Charging your adult kids rent - Yay or Nay? (1 Viewer)

my friend's dad charged him rent in high school. $100 a month starting when he got his first job at 15 1/2.

when my buddy moved away to school, dad gave him back all the money plus what it earned in the market. never told the kid he was investing the money.. just that he had to pay $100 a month for the privilege of living at home.  

harsh lesson until buddy realized it was forced savings + some. 

 
gianmarco said:
This is the part I guess I really don't understand.

See, I agree with the first part.  If there is a reason they are staying at home because they are in school, financial reason, other situation that makes sense, I'm not charging them rent.  That doesn't matter what age they are.  As others have pointed out, they've had older kids come back for various short term situations and loved having them there.  I would hope I'm in the same situation where they both want to come home and I want them there.

But, if it's the bolded, then what does charging rent accomplish?  It's not the money you need since you wouldn't charge them in other situations.  Is it to teach responsibility?  An impetus to get them to move?  An impetus to get a job? 

Having them move out accomplishes all those things more successfully, IMO.  It's too much of a safety blanket at home that still allows and enables them to not take on full adult responsibility.  I don't think charging rent changes that.  My job as a parent is to love them and turn them into responsible adults to live their lives.  If one of my kids is staying at home playing video games and not working or even if they have a job but little else going on, then I think the best way for me to help them is to get them out of the house and force them to grow up.  Who knows, I might change my tune when I'm actually in the situation, but that's at least how I view it now.
Click to expand...
For us (or me) I think there a few things that play into this.

1 - I went off to college (paid for half). Met my wife and never went back home. Actually had a 3 month period where my Dad wouldn't talk to me because I moved in with her. But that's a different thread. I've never taken financial help from anyone. Just isn't something I would ever do. And I realize I may be projecting my values onto my adult son.

2 - We paid for 2 of our 3 kids' college. He came out of this with zero debt. If he was paying off student loans, I would be less apt to charge any rent because being debt free is very important to us.

3 - He hasn't matured a whole lot in the last 5 years. He finds ways to avoid doing things and helping out. I've used the analogy of the Little Red Hen with him dozens of times. He doesn't want to do any of the work for something, but he's first one there with his hand out to take some when it's complete. I think he needs a dose of reality. There is more to life than work, sleep and video games. 

 
No question if my son still lived in my home at the age of 21 after college he will pay rent.

I paid rent to my dad for 2 years until I got my own place at 22.

Now I won’t charge him up the nose. I want him to save up to move out. And yes the goal is to get them to move out.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
For those of you sharing your thoughts about your deal with your kids, how does it compare with how your parents treated you?

 
Thorn said:
For those of you sharing your thoughts about your deal with your kids, how does it compare with how your parents treated you?
Click to expand...
My parents offered to help with college but I heard dad ##### for 3 years before hand about paying for my sister's college. I didn't want to hear it, so went to ROTC, in large part to not rely on them. Plus I knew they weren't doing all that well financially. I had zero intention of relying on them for anything as soon as I could.  

 
KCitons said:
For us (or me) I think there a few things that play into this.

1 - I went off to college (paid for half). Met my wife and never went back home. Actually had a 3 month period where my Dad wouldn't talk to me because I moved in with her. But that's a different thread. I've never taken financial help from anyone. Just isn't something I would ever do. And I realize I may be projecting my values onto my adult son.

2 - We paid for 2 of our 3 kids' college. He came out of this with zero debt. If he was paying off student loans, I would be less apt to charge any rent because being debt free is very important to us.

3 - He hasn't matured a whole lot in the last 5 years. He finds ways to avoid doing things and helping out. I've used the analogy of the Little Red Hen with him dozens of times. He doesn't want to do any of the work for something, but he's first one there with his hand out to take some when it's complete. I think he needs a dose of reality. There is more to life than work, sleep and video games. 
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think you have 3 choices here:

1) Leave things the way they are

2) Start charging rent

3) Have him move out

I think it's obvious I'd be in favor of #3. Sounds very similar to @Judge Smails situation above. Sit down, have the discussion, and set a deadline for him to move (6 months sounds reasonable?). Help him find a place if need be. And most importantly, have outlined consequences if that deadline isn't met. 

You'll be teaching him a lot more this way and hopefully this final "nudge" to leave the nest and fly is what he needs for him to take off and excel in life. 

I don't envy your position. I hope I'm never in it myself. But in the end you'd be doing this out of love, not convenience. One day he will hopefully realize this and thank you for it. And hopefully your wife is on board with this as well.

Best of luck.

 
23 year daughter who graduated college 18 months ago.  Told her no rent provided she annually max out Roth IRA.  Just had her and my 20 year son make their contributions today.  

 
Todem said:
No question if my son still lived in my home at the age of 21 after college he will pay rent.

I paid rent to my dad for 2 years until I got my own place at 22.

Now I won’t charge him up the nose. I want him to save up to move out. And yes the goal to to get them to move out.
Click to expand...
This right here. Teach them responsibility while giving them a path to eventual independence.

 
Thorn said:
For those of you sharing your thoughts about your deal with your kids, how does it compare with how your parents treated you?
Click to expand...
I moved out the day before I graduated high school and to a different city post grad, so n/a. My parents helped throughout college, what and how much just depended on the semester. 

 
The only way I would charge my kids rent is if they were sitting at home, playing video games and not looking for a job/education.

We love having our girls around (20 and 15).

 
flapgreen said:
I freaking love this. Brilliant 
Click to expand...
Yeah it’s a win win situation.  I’m a long divorced guy but kids always lived with me, so they know I’m looking out for their long term financial situation.  If you’re financially stable there’s no point in charging rent...  

 
stlrams said:
Yeah it’s a win win situation.  I’m a long divorced guy but kids always lived with me, so they know I’m looking out for their long term financial situation.  If you’re financially stable there’s no point in charging rent...  
Click to expand...
This exactly how I see it. 

 
Thorn said:
For those of you sharing your thoughts about your deal with your kids, how does it compare with how your parents treated you?
Click to expand...
I moved out and never went back. My other 4 siblings all moved out at one point or went to college and then moved back in for a few months or a few years. 

There was a period when I had started building my business and was down to my last few dollars. My Mom wrote me a check for $1000 to help us out. I gave it back to her. I told her if it ever got to the point that I couldn't feed our kids, I'd take it. Until then, I had to learn from my own mistakes and dig myself out of the hole. 

 
For those of you that say "Nah, as long as they are in college or working", how long is that good for? I assume everyone either goes to college, gets a job, or both. Can your kids live with you forever, rent free?

 
KCitons said:
For those of you that say "Nah, as long as they are in college or working", how long is that good for? I assume everyone either goes to college, gets a job, or both. Can your kids live with you forever, rent free?
Click to expand...
If i like having the company, then probably.   

 
don't have adult kids yet, however I think it would be good to have them pay something, like their own car insurance, or their own phone bill.

rent seems a bit much, I do like the idea of bank it for them and help them move out/down payment type thing.

 
Damn right! I charge all three rent. My wife has allowed them to defer payments in perpetuity. She sucks at business. Kids should certainly pull their own weight.

Mine are 13, 11, and 7. I had two jobs by the time I was their age.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
No rent, but I would "Dad joke" them until they left.  I'd probably say "My house, my rules" a lot too.

 
stlrams said:
Yeah it’s a win win situation.  I’m a long divorced guy but kids always lived with me, so they know I’m looking out for their long term financial situation.  If you’re financially stable there’s no point in charging rent...  
Click to expand...
Does she know she can withdraw the contributions tax free without penalty? In case she sees a purse or something she wants.  :hophead:

 
A couple more thoughts.

1 - Those that have adult children living at home, rent free. Are you on track with your retirement savings? Would you downsize to a smaller, more affordable home if you didn't have adult children living at home?

2 - If you have adult children living at home, rent free. Would you expect your children to allow you to live in their home rent free at some point in your life?

 
Thorn said:
For those of you sharing your thoughts about your deal with your kids, how does it compare with how your parents treated you?
Click to expand...
I started paying rent to my parents as soon as I got a full time job, a few weeks before graduating HS. They didn't ask for rent. It just seemed like the normal thing to do. So I said how about I give you $$ (don't remember how much, probably ~20% of my pay) for rent and they said OK.

TBH, I don't see how anyone, who considers themselves an adult and is working full time, wouldn't want to contribute to the household expenses at least somewhat.

 
My parents charged me rent and all of it was mine when/if I bought real estate (not a car/trip).  Really helped buying my first home.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Zow
  • Poll
Requesting money of others for your kids' activities - cool or not?
2
Replies
98
Views
3K
nirad3
nirad3
Joe Bryant
My Dad And Cancer
2 3
Replies
133
Views
3K
ZADO
ZADO
Chadstroma
Sportsmanship- A nice thing or real value?
Replies
36
Views
817
stbugs
S

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Top