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Teenage Daughters - Shoot me now, please and thanks


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7 minutes ago, fissure man said:

 

A little all over. First you lied about using it but then state that honesty is whats most important but I catch your drift and don't judge you one bit. Every kid is different and were all just trying to do the best we can. I know I am. 

You sound a little like my neighbors and its served them well.  Again, no judgment but I won't smoke with my kids. (Maybe when theyre in their 40s or something but thats different). I just wanna keep some boundaries in place. 

I know. But her being honest with me is what mattered. My lie was to make her think dad would kill her if she used drugs, and not be one of those annoying kids who says, but you did it. Also, she is an only child raised by a single parent, which created some different dynamics in the relationship. No one on this planet I have ever been closer to and visa versa. We are the family. Period.

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1 hour ago, fissure man said:

 

Thanks Smalls, all good advice. I do like the angle of giving them the out by saying that we drug test them. Helps them have a weapon against peer pressure w/o them being "chicken".

As for the fighting.... not preachy and I want to hear your thoughts. I wasn't like this a few years ago but I love criticism now and invite it. I tend to be pretty oblivious to things so its good to hear honest, thought provoking ideas. . .... The wife and I got married very young. Im Irish/German, shes Uruguayan/Cuban. We're both powder kegs but we also love each other with the same passion. Like most young parents we certainly made a lot of mistakes along the way but we're super open and honest with the girls. We explain to them that yes we fight from time to time but so do most parents. In the end we will ALWAYS have each others back. We make a good team and the girls know and feel it.  I wasn't always sure, but I think we've been a good example of what a marriage is and what it takes to make it work. 

We're going to have a talk with the daughter about the attention stuff this weekend. We've already broached the weed convo and it went really well. We'll dive deeper into that this weekend but we will also look into counseling. 

The looks stuff was really just a stab at what could be causing the attention stuff. Just spit-balling for theories on why shes making stories up. . I think she is just a sweet kid inside and wants to be liked. She gets A LOT of "hate" from other girls and I think that might be her focus. She can't handle the responsibility of being one of the more attractive kids.  I know it sounds superficial but I'm just trying to view it from the prism of what other HS kids see her as. again, just kinda throwing ideas around. 

 

Right on. Love the openness. There’s no book on parenting.  We’re all trying to figure it out and get them through to the other side. Toughest job there is. 

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my real advise here would be to sit with her and explain the laws.  state by state.  then ask her if she thinks it’s worth the risk.  does she know an ounce?  a felony?  life comes at you fast when you’re in the car with weed and get stopped in the wrong state.

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