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Good luck bud. I've known a few friends that went through this and the first 6+ months were rough. Get a good support group and you can do it though.
Good luck Honus. If you don't mind me asking - do you see Alcohol Use Disorder and Alcoholism to be one in the same? If not, can you explain how you see the differences?
Same.
Great advice!I am using those terms interchangeably. I guess to me, alcohol use disorder doesn’t seem to have the same negative stigma attached to it.
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I was always under the impression that a 4-5oz serving on wine was measure by volume not weight.
Sorry. Fixed.fred_1_15301 said:
ThisTheFanatic said:
Your either a mile back from the ledge enjoying the view or your completely off. There is no tiptoeing around it. I struggle with knowing how far/close I am given I've seen alcoholism 1st hand with family. But I do crave a really good glass of wine on the weekend (I average 4-6 glasses over a week) which has been an output of expanding my love of food over the years. Only wine, preferably red, since most other alcohol has very little appeal (grown away from beer and scotch is the only spirit I have and its once in a blue moon; 2-3x a year). I do set boundaries as Thu-Sun only and max 2 glasses on a Fri/Sat. Is that still a ledge esp given family history? I don't know.
The spreadsheet has been really helpful for me - even if that’s not necessarily reflected in my line. Like @Mr. Ham said above, it’s about accountability. I’ve been lying to myself for many years now, and God knows I’ve lied to those around me. But I do not lie to the spreadsheet. I can now see quantitatively the extent of my situation, which will inevitably make it easier to chip away at a little bit at a time.
Yeah, alcohol sales were up like 33% last year. Considering how much this country already drank before Covid, that is a big number.
Everything you say is true but you do understand that drinking in this country is thru the roof right now...folks say they are not going out but the bars are filled to the brim around where I am. Total Wines runs out of liquor!!! I appreciate you being honest, it's not what I want to hear or read but you got massive credit with me through the years, it does matter when someone like you puts it out there. I believe you, that if I truly wanted help and reached out that you would be there.
I'm just here to say I disagree with this completely. Most people I know have "drank" since they were teenagers and most of those same people abused alcohol in their college party years (some beyond) and most of those same people never stopped drinking and most of those same people have a beer or two at most a night now, and maybe a couple more on the weekend.
You are absolutely right. In a general sense, what you wrote is very true. Most people are how you described.
It is though, his paragraph starts out "I've just got to say it. All of you dancing on the edge of this thing hoping that if you just try real hard you can limit it to a handful a night and it won't be problem, it won't work." His belief is clearly that there's a tipping point and once you pass that point, it's all or nothing (because that was his experience) and that's what I disagree with. Like I say, it's a spectrum and you absolutely can move where you fall on that spectrum.
Fair enough. I agree - the vast majority of people can move where they fall on that spectrum. That said, my experience is that there are people who absolutely have passed a tipping point. And there is no going back from that point. I have no opinion on which people fall into each category. That is a very person-by-person issue.
For sure. My dad was a problem drinker and never really moved where he was on that spectrum, maybe he couldn't. But there are people in here having 4 glasses of wine **a week** and feeling like they're on the ledge of some serious problem and stuff like that or notions that alcohol is inherently some evil thing to be avoided... I will push back against that. And like you say, most people can move where they fall on the spectrum so to blankly say to the group as a whole "cutting back won't work"...
I'm at about 50 drinks a week. That's why im in here. just fyi, nothing for or against your debateFor sure. My dad was a problem drinker and never really moved where he was on that spectrum, maybe he couldn't. But there are people in here having 4 glasses of wine **a week** and feeling like they're on the ledge of some serious problem and stuff like that or notions that alcohol is inherently some evil thing to be avoided... I will push back against that. And like you say, most people can move where they fall on the spectrum so to blankly say to the group as a whole "cutting back won't work"...
Absolutely. Some people are going to get the wake up call and realize they are on the road to a problem and back off. Those people aren't really problem drinkers. Habitual maybe, but don't have a real problem. But those that have failed at doing this multiple times and are hoping this one is the magic bullet...
Hang in there for just a bit. It seems like Mr. Ham hasn’t been around for quite awhile and may not be part of the forum anymore. If that’s true, I hope he knows that I wish him well and appreciate his friendship and support.
I just received a message from the artist formerly known as Mr. Ham. He asked me to let you and everyone else who has been a part of this thread know that this post struck a nerve with him. Woke him up. He said that once he embraced the above as true for him, he quit with a level of resignation and peace he’d never experienced when it came to drinking.
Once a person gets to this point, it makes the whole process much smoother and for lack of a better term "easier". It is what is talked about in AA as the Higher power. As TheFanatic has said, anyone who wants to talk about it or as questions, please PM.
I hope you are able to work things out for the both of you. Training camp is around the corner. Still lots of Yankees giving many people in South Florida lots of business, hopefully you too. I'm a lightweight, so never had a problem, my oldest daughter can drink with the best of them, I worry about her liver.@bostonfred
-As an aside I just want to say that this isn't funny to BF and I'm sorry to everyone I may have disappointed tonight but I haven't checked in lately and I don't think its fair to just be BF's burden in a PM...my wife and I are talking tonight, she's a stronger woman than you might think.
-It started as a Tuesday Night and then Tennis got canceled due to rain and then I just kept going, I'm just being honest.
I didn't want to post all this in here because that's not the alcoholic thread.
I had written this post in there and realized that wasn't right and I found this thread launched in Oct of 2020, believe me I understand very clearly why you might have launched this during the pandemic and also a change of leadership, that can be hard no matter who you vote for.
I'm OK but I just felt like I needed to talk and say something tonight. It's really not BFs problem but he has reached out a couple times and it's not right if i don't check in when i ain't right. I cannot really explain it, I wish I could but I really can't this very minute.
I have many stories but they don't seem to matter right now. I have a boatload of people who are waiting to catch me, honestly I live a blessed life and that's what makes this even more depressing IMHO. I will work on this, thought I was working on this but obviously not enough.
I love all of you and i don't mean to be a burden, i just needed to post up tonight.
