Christmas & The Outlaw Suet
this past Christmas we had my MIL, BIL and his daughter over for a couple of days for the holiday and planned for a rib roast and a lot of extra Yorkshire pudding and gravy so we needed more beef dripping than the roast was going to be able to give us. My wife assigned me the job of getting the roast and extra beef fat.
We have discussed
Yorkshire pudding in holiday threads around here so if you haven't had it, you likely know what it is - beef fat infused bread with a crunchy outside and fluffy interior. Simply glorious. As good as the rib roast is ...it's the highlight of the meal. You gotta have a bunch of beef drippings really hot ...I mean poppin'. Then you pour your batter in and bake at high heat.
I knew beef suet wasn't as prevalent in grocery stores as it used to be. It used to always be there ...with the
femur bones sliced for soup (used to buy them for my dog) - and cost a little bit of nothing. Now those bones are no where to be found ...they're being sold out at crazy prices to fancy restaurants for bone marrow appetizers.
scene: same Kroger, same meat dept mgr - a few days before Christmas - I walk up to the counter, we make eye contact, he pretends to shuffle meat trays for a bit, before acknowledging me (per usual)
KMgr: yeah?
Binky: I would like to buy some beef suet - I don't see any out here
KMgr: It's again the law to sell you suet.
Binky: What?? ...against the law??
KMgr: uh well ...uh ...well it's against Kroger policy to sell it to the public
This seemed to get the attention of a couple of his minions. He's not an especially big man, but I guess these two assistants are very short - the two gather at each of his shoulders and then look up at him as if to say "yes master, tell him master - he'll make us do work master, heh-heh, heh-heh"
Binky: (ok ...I'm incredulous at this point) What? I don't get it - is it against the law or against Kroger policy? Why is that?
KMgr: well ...
(he's one of those "well" guys, personally I think it's a non-verbal pause that allows him a little more time to make #### up)
KMgr: well, people come in here and mix it with tainted deer or wild pig meat and then come sue us for sellin' them rancid beef suet!
(He and his minions seemed fairly proud of his story)
Binky: What? How could someone possibly prove that? They could do the same with anything they mixed in from here. How is that any different than that grey meat you mark down and put in the case end of the counter?
KMgr: (silence)
Binky: You mean that this has happened several times at this store?
KMgr: Well, I ain't been here since the store opened so I don't know ...just a risk we ain't willin' to take
Binky: Ok, how about some of the beef trimmings you have in the back?
KMgr: I just told you why ...same thing.
(clearly disgusted)
KMgr: Besides, we don't have trimmings
Binky: What? How not?
KMgr: We really don't do much cutting here, most of our stuff comes pre-packaged. (ok, but no trimmings? can't be true ...at this point it's not happing for me with him)
Binky: okkkkkkkkk
So, instead of making the two minute drive to my Kroger, I trek into town about 20+ minutes away to the small state-based grocery chain that has closer to what grocery stores had for a meat dept. I looked at what all they had put out on their shelves and didn't see any suet.
Binky:
(walk out to counter - and guy walks out in a clearly used "meat cuttin' apron) I am looking to buy some beef suet - got any?
MGuy: Let me check.
(damn ...he's got to check ...either they don't use have any or he's checking to see if they even sell it)
MGuy:
(comes back out in a few seconds) How much you want?
Binky:
(jumping up and down inside - hellya) How much ya got?
MGuy: Hang on I'll check.
(sticks his head through the swinging door in back) How much of that suet we got?
Background: around 50lbs
MGuy: How about 50lbs? We just processed a cow today so your in luck.
Binky:
(laughs) I'll take 5.
Binky: How much you going to charge me for that?
MGuy: Hell, I don't know
(sticks his head through the swinging door again) How much for the suet?
Voice in Background: How much is he gettin'?
MGuy: 5lbs.
Voice in Background: couple bucks.
I still have 3lbs in the freezer ...