Friend applied for a job I formerly have but I don't think he's a good fit for it. Should I call my old job and give them my opinion? (1 Viewer)

boots11234 said:

OP is certainly a miserable person. 

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I'm pretty chipper. I just don't like being used by someone who says they are my friend. He's incredible selfish, biased and entitled. A lot of it comes from his family upbringing as he was absolutely spoiled as a child never told no. Went to college thinking he'd skate by. He barely did the work and ended with a c avg. My other buddy he went to college with and roomed with had countless friends made while in college. This guy didn't have much, only went to PSU because my other buddy and his closes friend went there and then would throw a tantrum when my other buddy hung out with his college friends. When he asked him one day why he didn't make any friends in college his excuse was "What's the point of making friends with people you might never see again?" The ironic thing is my other buddies 2 best friends now are college buddies and my closes friends now from college as well. One lives in California too. My other buddy use to complain how difficult it was living with him and he really wanted too move in with two buddies from college for his last year of school because it was so bad. Our buddy is an absolute slob. We are friends with one another simple do to living in the same neighborhood, same bus to school and being 2 yrs age difference. The other friend I knew through his cousin who Im great friends with since Pre School when I lived in my old area. He had a close relationship with his mother who unexpectedly past away right after college grad. One day my friend was doing choirs and my other buddy wanted to do something and he told him he had to clean. This was 6 months after she past and my buddy tells him "His family cleans too much" they got in a big fight an my friend cut him off cold turkey. My other buddy still thinks he does nothing wrong despite me literally drawing up a picture and diagram (When I mean literally I wrote it all down and mapped everything with years and dates) and he thought I was being ridiculous. 

He ended up switching programs in college to sports management but he does not have the personality for it. Really lazy and doesn't network. He had a job working for Independent Baseball team Camden Riversharks as an intern and his boss was interested in staying in touch. My buddy never did thinking he could just get a job on his own. Never happened. Complains constantly how he has a college degree in sportsmanagement and works retail. When he found out I knew someone in the NFL he wanted me to talked to them about hiring him. When he found out my Coworker's son was an assistant Coach for the Eagles he tried pulling the same thing. I probably would've had he been more willing to network and other things. I have a buddy on an old baseball board who network and got a job working in Clearwater for the Phillies. Last I heard he's working for the Reading affiliate of the Phillies.  I have a Cousin who went to Pitt and then went to grad School at USF. The program leader was a former NBA exec so has contacts all around the 4 major sports here. It's a new program not even 10 yrs old but highly successful. My Cousin interned for the TB Lightening the year before their cup run and his program was featured at Intermission of a TB game during that year. He now works as a sales analytics for the Miami Heat. I've mentioned stuff to help him before. Suggested maybe he should stop working and attend grad school like my cousin. However the dude doesn't want to leave the nest of his parents house, have to live on his own say in another city etc. A lot of his issues is his own doing. 

I don't like the fact I found out he used me as a reference simple because he thinks it'll get him the job easier. Especially considering I've tried to help him in the past and he's just sh** in my hand. When he was looking for work I had a former Co Worker who told me her job at Best Buy was hiring. They were getting bonus pay for the holiday and I figured at least it's something. I also was willing to get him a job at my store even working my department or another I knew needed help. He looked at my job as beneath him and then used the pandemic  as an excuse not to work. This is despite the fact he went all the way up to NYC a month earlier with a buddy in one of the biggest Covid infected areas of the country. Now that it's a job he wants he wants me to help him? Sorry if he had taken my help better or was a lot nicer refusing my suggestions I'd probably be more then willing to help him 

@DJackson10

Part of growing up is learning to let go and let others experience things that are no longer for you.

You're not the manager of GameStop. Your responsibility is to be the best friend you can.

You keep aligning YOUR THOUGHTS and GameStop without having any empathy for your friend who is excited for his new job.

This is not about how "you" feel, but it seems you feel a little jealous. If you are happy at your current job, it makes you an awful person trying to stymie your friend's career growth.

It doesn't matter how awful your friend is. It doesn't matter how unqualified your friend is.

All that matters is that he's your friend and you're going to pickup that phone and offer to take him out for beers AFTER he lands this new job.

If you're still pissed, knock over his mailbox anonymously...

The reality is if you have an acquaintance that worked recently at a place that is hiring and was in good standing then it is 100% that they will list you as a reference.  It's always good to have a reference listed that actually worked at a place (provided they left on good terms).  However, the guy doesn't really sound like a friend.  Seems like you answer the questions honestly and that's it.  If he gets it he gets it.  If not, then oh well.  You don't owe him anymore than that.  

DJackson10 said:

This isn't putting a wrench in it as much as he thought referencing me working there will get him the job. He's incredible entitled and thinks just because he puts me as a reference automatically helps get him the job easier. I actually worked for yrs to get to GS and prove people I could do it. Hung out at my local GS like I said numerous times and helped when I didn't have too customers. I went the extra mile. My buddy likes doing the bare minimum. 

Also I didn't know he applied and he told me this morning he put me down as a reference. Had he told me before applying I would've told him not to put me down 

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You said in your original post that he told you he applied (unless you have edited that out). You wanted to know if you should call your former work and tell them he isn't a good fit for that position. You should be happy he put you down as a reference, cause you didn't have to end up calling them, they called you.  Right?  A lot of times you get jobs by connections, and you are supposedly his friend, and you worked there (and want to again), so why would he not use you as a reference? Does your "buddy" know how jealous you are of him?  

DJackson10 said:

I'm pretty chipper. I just don't like being used by someone who says they are my friend. He's incredible selfish, biased and entitled. A lot of it comes from his family upbringing as he was absolutely spoiled as a child never told no. Went to college thinking he'd skate by. He barely did the work and ended with a c avg. My other buddy he went to college with and roomed with had countless friends made while in college. This guy didn't have much, only went to PSU because my other buddy and his closes friend went there and then would throw a tantrum when my other buddy hung out with his college friends. When he asked him one day why he didn't make any friends in college his excuse was "What's the point of making friends with people you might never see again?" The ironic thing is my other buddies 2 best friends now are college buddies and my closes friends now from college as well. One lives in California too. My other buddy use to complain how difficult it was living with him and he really wanted too move in with two buddies from college for his last year of school because it was so bad. Our buddy is an absolute slob. We are friends with one another simple do to living in the same neighborhood, same bus to school and being 2 yrs age difference. The other friend I knew through his cousin who Im great friends with since Pre School when I lived in my old area. He had a close relationship with his mother who unexpectedly past away right after college grad. One day my friend was doing choirs and my other buddy wanted to do something and he told him he had to clean. This was 6 months after she past and my buddy tells him "His family cleans too much" they got in a big fight an my friend cut him off cold turkey. My other buddy still thinks he does nothing wrong despite me literally drawing up a picture and diagram (When I mean literally I wrote it all down and mapped everything with years and dates) and he thought I was being ridiculous. 

He ended up switching programs in college to sports management but he does not have the personality for it. Really lazy and doesn't network. He had a job working for Independent Baseball team Camden Riversharks as an intern and his boss was interested in staying in touch. My buddy never did thinking he could just get a job on his own. Never happened. Complains constantly how he has a college degree in sportsmanagement and works retail. When he found out I knew someone in the NFL he wanted me to talked to them about hiring him. When he found out my Coworker's son was an assistant Coach for the Eagles he tried pulling the same thing. I probably would've had he been more willing to network and other things. I have a buddy on an old baseball board who network and got a job working in Clearwater for the Phillies. Last I heard he's working for the Reading affiliate of the Phillies.  I have a Cousin who went to Pitt and then went to grad School at USF. The program leader was a former NBA exec so has contacts all around the 4 major sports here. It's a new program not even 10 yrs old but highly successful. My Cousin interned for the TB Lightening the year before their cup run and his program was featured at Intermission of a TB game during that year. He now works as a sales analytics for the Miami Heat. I've mentioned stuff to help him before. Suggested maybe he should stop working and attend grad school like my cousin. However the dude doesn't want to leave the nest of his parents house, have to live on his own say in another city etc. A lot of his issues is his own doing. 

I don't like the fact I found out he used me as a reference simple because he thinks it'll get him the job easier. Especially considering I've tried to help him in the past and he's just sh** in my hand. When he was looking for work I had a former Co Worker who told me her job at Best Buy was hiring. They were getting bonus pay for the holiday and I figured at least it's something. I also was willing to get him a job at my store even working my department or another I knew needed help. He looked at my job as beneath him and then used the pandemic  as an excuse not to work. This is despite the fact he went all the way up to NYC a month earlier with a buddy in one of the biggest Covid infected areas of the country. Now that it's a job he wants he wants me to help him? Sorry if he had taken my help better or was a lot nicer refusing my suggestions I'd probably be more then willing to help him 

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You have an amazing lack of self awareness.

Pretty sure if your (lack of) recommendation to your former employer is anything like your posts, it's going to be ignored by them anyway.  Just a hunch. 

Your friend sounds like he vastly overrates his ability and really doesn't know what work is.

Use your sources to get him a job at AEW.

He'd fit right in GB.

Skipdog77 said:

Pretty sure if your (lack of) recommendation to your former employer is anything like your posts, it's going to be ignored by them anyway.  Just a hunch. 

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I was literally coming back to say that after 20 minutes of you explaining to GameStop why he'd be a bad fit (and that btw you would be a better fit for a part time job) they would probably take your comments and view them as a positive for your friend.

If you are really looking for advice (which I doubt you are, I think you are looking for justification), if GameStop called for a recommendation I would tell them that you don't have work experience with your friend, but that he is a good guy (unless you think that is a lie as well).  People should ask before listing someone else as a reference as a courtesy but it speaks more to you if you are willing to burn a friend over it, particularly for a corporation that you said treated you poorly.

D'OHtis said:

Grab Sandman's cane and turn heel on your "friend" already. "Friend" sound like a self-absorbed entitled SOB

And go cane the frostbitten tenant for good measure.

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Honestly I won't lie WIth the pandemic I've seen less and less of him. occasionally text but thats it. It's been pretty satisfying not to hear his whining every week or constantly texting me to see some horrible C list comedy, romcom, C list horror film etc or suggest a movie only because his parents saw and liked it. I wouldn't turn full heel on him but for the last few yrs I've decided stepping back in hanging with him all the time would be best for my mental state and physical well being. The pandemic in a way has helped that. I don't mind the occasional hey lets go see the new movie everyone is talking about or going to a sports event though. Our biggest issues is we have way too many different interests and not a lot in common. He's not much of a drinker (nothing wrong with that) but it limits ideas we can do. Like I want to suggest going to a brewery I've never tried yet or something but he's not interested because he won't try the different beers with me he isn't a fan of the "small cafe" menus. Concerts? Our Musical tastes are so different. Only a few we'd probably see together. Bruce Springsteen was one and he did see GNR with me but not excited. He did see a wrestling event with me but the entire time he was more so glued to his phone then anything going on at the event and then afterwards making jokes about the whole thing and people I was talking with in our section. The Monday after Halloween in 2019 I went to see King Diamond with a co worker of mine. Last concert I attended before the Pandemic and had a blast. I even made the effort to see if my friend wanted to come at least experience something new for him. Tickets I got on Groupon for like $20 and save over $50 from face value. Nope. I went, had a blast and even found an old college buddy of mine who have rekindled a friendship with who was at the show. Met King's Guitar player and the lead singer of the opening band too. Great night. Had I not gone I'd have missed that fun time. He wanted me to go to some random basketball game with him the 76ers had I had no interesting seeing. Over the years hanging with him I've missed out on a lot of stuff I could've done with my other buddies. He doesn't have a lot of friends as is. If I literally got rid of him cold turkey there's one guy he use to work with he hangs out with who has a GF but honestly I think they are gonna settle down in the next year or 2 and get married. probably move to FL where her family is from and then he's stuck with no one. But a lot of that is his own fault alienating people 

CFB Sicko said:

@DJackson10

Part of growing up is learning to let go and let others experience things that are no longer for you.

You're not the manager of GameStop. Your responsibility is to be the best friend you can.

You keep aligning YOUR THOUGHTS and GameStop without having any empathy for your friend who is excited for his new job.

This is not about how "you" feel, but it seems you feel a little jealous. If you are happy at your current job, it makes you an awful person trying to stymie your friend's career growth.

It doesn't matter how awful your friend is. It doesn't matter how unqualified your friend is.

All that matters is that he's your friend and you're going to pickup that phone and offer to take him out for beers AFTER he lands this new job.

If you're still pissed, knock over his mailbox anonymously...

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We aren't really friends as we were yrs ago. I'm not jealous, He already has a job working for this retail phone company. I suspect he realized all the travel he has to do and wants a new job. He's not that great. I will admit I'm frustrated with some stuff going on with my current job but I'm fixing it as Is and has nothing to do with being jealous. Like I said I would like to get back into GS if I can for some extra money. My biggest issue is if I do go back to my GS store and he's a manager at a store in my district it's gonna be incredible awkward if he messes up or people don't like him. Like what am I suppose to do. Just be like I know him yeah? He's a good guy sure but honestly I don't think sales is his perfect spot and I've been telling him for yrs to try something else? Go with the flow, tell my buddy yeah maybe this job isn't right, I'm hearing a lot of talk from people they don't like the job you are doing at your store and my Suggestion is get out before they let you go themselves? Like I said he's thick headed and if I try doing the right thing he won't believe me. 

Dude doesn't drink I'd have to buy him a soda or icee. 

I do appreciate the honest opinion though. 

Gally said:

The reality is if you have an acquaintance that worked recently at a place that is hiring and was in good standing then it is 100% that they will list you as a reference.  It's always good to have a reference listed that actually worked at a place (provided they left on good terms).  However, the guy doesn't really sound like a friend.  Seems like you answer the questions honestly and that's it.  If he gets it he gets it.  If not, then oh well.  You don't owe him anymore than that.  

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Yeah again I have no issue if someone wants to use me as a reference. I always tell people I want to get a job with me to put my name down as a reference considering my good standing and my boss's have listen to my opinion on hiring people. I had both my brothers work with me for a good part of their HS lives and turned out great. What I hate is someone putting me down as a reference without asking. Especially someone who's using it as the wrong reason. 

Like I said I'm answering their questions honestly. Yesterday I didn't think it was weird he told me he applied for a job I once had or the same company I use to work for. But now after finding out from the company he put me down as a reference I know why he did it. Just wished he'd asked first if it was ok or told me. However with how he's acted over the years I'm not happy about it. I will answer any questions they have honestly and with integrity because if I want to go back there and say I lie, he does a horrible job that does nothing to help me later.

DJackson10 said:

Yeah again I have no issue if someone wants to use me as a reference. I always tell people I want to get a job with me to put my name down as a reference considering my good standing and my boss's have listen to my opinion on hiring people. I had both my brothers work with me for a good part of their HS lives and turned out great. What I hate is someone putting me down as a reference without asking. Especially someone who's using it as the wrong reason. 

Like I said I'm answering their questions honestly. Yesterday I didn't think it was weird he told me he applied for a job I once had or the same company I use to work for. But now after finding out from the company he put me down as a reference I know why he did it. Just wished he'd asked first if it was ok or told me. However with how he's acted over the years I'm not happy about it. I will answer any questions they have honestly and with integrity because if I want to go back there and say I lie, he does a horrible job that does nothing to help me later.

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Your OP made it sound like you were going to go out of your way to call GS to bad mouth your "friend".  That should never happen but if you are put down as a reference and you get a call then just answer the questions honestly......nobody can complain about that.  

D'OHtis said:

Your friend sounds like he vastly overrates his ability and really doesn't know what work is.

Use your sources to get him a job at AEW.

He'd fit right in GB.

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He hates wrestling. He really does overrate his abilities but that's because he surrounds himself with people who yes him to death. He is absolutely babied by his parents too. I've done a lot to even help him get a job even with suggestions. Like I said earlier had he done his part I got no issue if he had asked could you ask your Coworkers son about any available internships or positions open in the organization for me I could apply for? WOuld've said sure just give me a file of your resume I'll talk to him and send it over. But he won't even do the simple stuff like linking with people. 

Even my parents know he sucks at sales. I told her about the new job he has now and my Mom was like "he sucks at sales why did he go back?" I told her because he's very think headed and thinks somehow he's great. I don't think he's gotten the hint from past bosses he's not that great. I honestly think he needs to be blatantly told he sucks at this and he needs to look for another career path. Not only that but he thinks he's too good for just a general job and always applies for these Manager positions. 

Don't be a richard.

Corporation said:

I was literally coming back to say that after 20 minutes of you explaining to GameStop why he'd be a bad fit (and that btw you would be a better fit for a part time job) they would probably take your comments and view them as a positive for your friend.

If you are really looking for advice (which I doubt you are, I think you are looking for justification), if GameStop called for a recommendation I would tell them that you don't have work experience with your friend, but that he is a good guy (unless you think that is a lie as well).  People should ask before listing someone else as a reference as a courtesy but it speaks more to you if you are willing to burn a friend over it, particularly for a corporation that you said treated you poorly.

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Never said the Corporation treated me poorly. I got screwed over by a numbers game and the DM at the time wasn't great in the district. My store was great and I was treated well. They knew about my Aspergers and other disabilities and did a lot to make sure I knew what I had to do and put me in a spot to succeed. it helped that I knew a lot already though about what I was doing. Now as a Manager there I don't have much experience other then what friends and coworkers and my own bosses have said and I was telling him that since he applied in a management role. 

I wasn't going up to sabotage him as I had already plan on going up there today. You are right people should ask before using someone as a reference though. When my old department manager was at my store and I applied for GS I told her what I was doing and she was willing to work with my schedule as I told her GS would do the same. I asked if I could use her as a reference and she was incredible happy to allow it. I haven't worked with my buddy at all so that is the truth. I don't know what to believe with him as he does sugarcoat stuff. I do know from speaking to his former co workers privately who have come up to me or found me through social media saying he's a good guy and he's reliable but he needs someone to tell him this isn't the right work for him. I always tell them I've tried talking to him but he's so thick headed. 

Also that was part of the issue I was trying to figure out on my own. I want to go back and work but I also don't want to make it sound like I'm trying to tell them I'm a better fit then he is. Despite that possible even being true as I do have experience with the company and have a little managing experience. He has managing experience but if I'm a company seeing a guy who's been demoted and promoted several times from about 7 different companies that would probably send a red flag to me who's hiring as well. I've worked for the same company most of my life I've been able to legally work now. So it does show I'm reliable. I just remember in college taking my business class that they said sometimes having multiple jobs listed is good but if you are moving from job to job every so many yrs after awhile thats a concern People won't think you are reliable or there for the long haul, etc. 

Question - what was GME stock trading at when OP left the company compared to where it is now?  The anti-recommendation might actually help...

-QG

CletiusMaximus said:

If your comments long-winded, rambling statement that will contain way too much detail while still not getting your point across to the potential employer are going to be anything other than a 100% glowing recommendation, you have to call your "friend" and tell him not to use you as a reference any more.

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FYP.

Gally said:

Your OP made it sound like you were going to go out of your way to call GS to bad mouth your "friend".  That should never happen but if you are put down as a reference and you get a call then just answer the questions honestly......nobody can complain about that.  

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Like I updated today they called me this morning. I told them if I could talk to them later as I was coming up later. They said he put me down and I'm about to go up in 45 mins to talk to he manager who did interview him. They said it was fine as long as I could get there before 6 when he leaves. I'm gonna be honest with them. When I made the post I had kind of figured thats why he called me and didn't tell me but didn't find out for certain till today. Only reason I thought of it was because yrs ago he tried using me as a reference to get something at my store. When they asked me about it I told them I had no clue he did. He's a friend of mine but also I know his personality and work ethic and given the demands here for the job I don't think he's qualified for it. I gave them an honest answer. Sure I was mad he referenced me without asking but I'm gonna be honest too.

My other issue is I know he only wants the job as an easier way to get a PS5. look as I said in my post I have an intention to do so but at the same time I also liked having to work there. Got to be around a lot of like minded people who game and I loved being able to talk about an interest of mine. Really liked helping parents or grandparents find a game for their kid or grandchild and them coming back and saying how great of a suggestion it was. You get to meet some very cool customers who are there often as well. I just really liked helping people finding enjoyment in something I enjoy to. What was really good was most of the guys I worked with were mostly Xbox guys besides my ASD and I. So all of us had different opinions but it always helped customers. Our group was very diverse too. We had one guy who was Middle Eastern, another who was Hspanic, My Boss who's from NYC originally, me and my buddy locally and I knew his sister and one guy African American dude. We all got a long great. It was fun and during the Midnight releases it was a blast. We'd order food or get a whole barbecue going (Almost a tailgate party) and we probably wouldn't get out until 2AM. I use to not work Thursdays so I'd go in around Noon work till 6, leave to go home for dinner and be back by 7:45-8.  Work till like 2AM or so. 

Damn.  Who needs enemies?

QuizGuy66 said:

Question - what was GME stock trading at when OP left the company compared to where it is now?  The anti-recommendation might actually help...

-QG

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Its been awhile since I worked there. I don't remember the exact date. I know it was shortly after my Company was sold and rebranded when the new company took over. I want to say it's been 5 yrs since as I left GS that January and the switch over of my Company was in Nov week before Thanksgiving. 

The pettiness is off the charts.

Not totally knowledgeable about GS, but I don't think your friend will be the reason that GS store is closed in the next couple years.

"would you hire someone that uses luigi in mariokart!?"

Da Guru said:

SWC said:

i find it hard to believe that you forgot to mention literally anything about anything in that wall of text up there i mean cripes your new nickname is tolstoy anyhow so i dont believe he put you down as a reference and i think you are just saying that now after literally everyone said dont be a laroosh and you are trying to save face now take that to the bank bromigo 

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Not  sure what you are talking about bro..but I will take it to the bank.

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i was not responding to your quote i was repsonding to tolstoy when he said that he forgot to add that he was listed as a reference take that to the bank brochacho 

SWC said:

i was not responding to your quote i was repsonding to tolstoy when he said that he forgot to add that he was listed as a reference take that to the bank brochacho 

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Thats cool..I will take whatever you give me to the bank!

I don't like the fact I found out he used me as a reference simple because he thinks it'll get him the job easier. 

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Isn't this exactly what a reference is for?

He already has a job working for this retail phone company. I suspect he realized all the travel he has to do and wants a new job.

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Sounds totally reasonable.

Not only that but he thinks he's too good for just a general job and always applies for these Manager positions. 

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Management material.

My other issue is I know he only wants the job as an easier way to get a PS5.

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Smart move.  It's just GameStop.  

DJackson10 said:

Its been awhile since I worked there. I don't remember the exact date. I know it was shortly after my Company was sold and rebranded when the new company took over. I want to say it's been 5 yrs since as I left GS that January and the switch over of my Company was in Nov week before Thanksgiving. 

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Up over 550% since you left



-QG

So... is this what it was like reading my threads from like 15 years ago?

Navin Johnson said:

Damn.  Who needs enemies?

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Friends like these huh Gary?

Zow said:

Friends like these huh Gary?

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That's right, Dude.

Zow said:

So... is this what it was like reading my threads from like 15 years ago?

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No. You were just a little wet behind the ears and naive. You’ve always been an incredibly nice person, even when everyone here was giving your gobs of grief. At least that’s how I’ve always viewed you. 

If you’re gonna be all righteous with GameStop, why don’t you do the righteous thing and call this guy and tell him how you feel instead of letting him think you’re his friend?It’s pretty obvious you despise the guy, or at the least you don’t respect him. Certainly not enough for him to believe you’re his friend.

DJackson10 said:

I forgot to mention he did put me down as a reference 

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It's not your job to determine fit and sharing that opinion. Stick to the facts on his job experience. Don't offer your opinions.

I don't think I have ever hated some one as much as what is called a "friend" in this thread.

DJackson10 said:

This isn't putting a wrench in it as much as he thought referencing me working there will get him the job. He's incredible entitled and thinks just because he puts me as a reference automatically helps get him the job easier. I actually worked for yrs to get to GS and prove people I could do it. Hung out at my local GS like I said numerous times and helped when I didn't have too customers. I went the extra mile. My buddy likes doing the bare minimum. 

Also I didn't know he applied and he told me this morning he put me down as a reference. Had he told me before applying I would've told him not to put me down 

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Um ... thats kind of how the whole reference thing works

Its called networking in other settings

So in a nutshell - this dude really isnt your friend

DJackson10 said:

Corporation said:

I was literally coming back to say that after 20 minutes of you explaining to GameStop why he'd be a bad fit (and that btw you would be a better fit for a part time job) they would probably take your comments and view them as a positive for your friend.

If you are really looking for advice (which I doubt you are, I think you are looking for justification), if GameStop called for a recommendation I would tell them that you don't have work experience with your friend, but that he is a good guy (unless you think that is a lie as well).  People should ask before listing someone else as a reference as a courtesy but it speaks more to you if you are willing to burn a friend over it, particularly for a corporation that you said treated you poorly.

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Never said the Corporation treated me poorly. I got screwed over by a numbers game and the DM at the time wasn't great in the district. My store was great and I was treated well. They knew about my Aspergers and other disabilities and did a lot to make sure I knew what I had to do and put me in a spot to succeed. it helped that I knew a lot already though about what I was doing. Now as a Manager there I don't have much experience other then what friends and coworkers and my own bosses have said and I was telling him that since he applied in a management role. 

I wasn't going up to sabotage him as I had already plan on going up there today. You are right people should ask before using someone as a reference though. When my old department manager was at my store and I applied for GS I told her what I was doing and she was willing to work with my schedule as I told her GS would do the same. I asked if I could use her as a reference and she was incredible happy to allow it. I haven't worked with my buddy at all so that is the truth. I don't know what to believe with him as he does sugarcoat stuff. I do know from speaking to his former co workers privately who have come up to me or found me through social media saying he's a good guy and he's reliable but he needs someone to tell him this isn't the right work for him. I always tell them I've tried talking to him but he's so thick headed. 

Also that was part of the issue I was trying to figure out on my own. I want to go back and work but I also don't want to make it sound like I'm trying to tell them I'm a better fit then he is. Despite that possible even being true as I do have experience with the company and have a little managing experience. He has managing experience but if I'm a company seeing a guy who's been demoted and promoted several times from about 7 different companies that would probably send a red flag to me who's hiring as well. I've worked for the same company most of my life I've been able to legally work now. So it does show I'm reliable. I just remember in college taking my business class that they said sometimes having multiple jobs listed is good but if you are moving from job to job every so many yrs after awhile thats a concern People won't think you are reliable or there for the long haul, etc. 

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I was not aware you had Asperger's, my son has it as well.  One of the issues my son has (although he's been successful in school and working at Publix) is sometimes he doesn't realize how he is coming across, and issues that appear gray to a lot of people are very black and white for him.  I mistook the information you provided earlier and thought it was just someone being petty, as most of the replies here also indicate.  I hope you take the feedback you have received here and do not speak negatively about your friend, even though you don't likely consider it negative but just being truthful.  I have to explain the subtle nuances to my son where some things just aren't his business.  I think this is one of those situations for you.

Also, I hope you don't take the negative feedback given here (including my earlier comment of you lacking self-awareness) too personally. Given the information you have now provided about Asperger's, I know you have had to work harder to adopt social nuances that come more naturally to other people, so I wish you continued success on your journey.

Wait Djax has aspergers?  Now I feel bad

belljr said:

Wait Djax has aspergers?  Now I feel bad

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I wasn't aware either, he mentioned it in his reply to me.  His question and rationale actually make more sense to me now.

Zow said:

So... is this what it was like reading my threads from like 15 years ago?

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Less Nazis but pretty much.

Sorry DJack - while you do need to "learn" some subtleties - I don't think I knew you had to deal with that...

yeah man i did not know about your aspergers my bad for clowning around with you best of luck and be well take that to the bank brohan 

belljr said:

Wait Djax has aspergers?  Now I feel bad

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I didn’t want to air his business but he told me that along time ago. I’ve long wished he would start a thread about it because I think everybody would be much more patient with him and just understand him better. 

STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:

I didn’t want to air his business but he told me that along time ago. I’ve long wished he would start a thread about it because I think everybody would be much more patient with him and just understand him better. 

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I mean I get why you might not want too but yeah it makes more sense now

Zow said:

So... is this what it was like reading my threads from like 15 years ago?

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This is what it’s like reading the Eagles thread in the shark pool...

DJackson10 said:

Yeah again I have no issue if someone wants to use me as a reference. I always tell people I want to get a job with me to put my name down as a reference considering my good standing and my boss's have listen to my opinion on hiring people. I had both my brothers work with me for a good part of their HS lives and turned out great. What I hate is someone putting me down as a reference without asking. Especially someone who's using it as the wrong reason. 

Like I said I'm answering their questions honestly. Yesterday I didn't think it was weird he told me he applied for a job I once had or the same company I use to work for. But now after finding out from the company he put me down as a reference I know why he did it. Just wished he'd asked first if it was ok or told me. However with how he's acted over the years I'm not happy about it. I will answer any questions they have honestly and with integrity because if I want to go back there and say I lie, he does a horrible job that does nothing to help me later.

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Ah, I gotcha. That's a fair pickle. What did you end up deciding to do?

SO went up traded in the games I had with me (got like 60 with my GS rewards and renewed my rewards with 15 or so of it). Went into the back area with the manager I did my interview 5 or so yrs ago. I haven't been up there in awhile and the place looks really nice. new Shelving and some really cool casing and display for the new systems and I want to say it's been done in the last year when I was last in there. 

We exchanged pleasantries and I told the manager it was a little ironic they called me as I was going to come up not to just trade in those games but to see if I could do some extra hrs they might have. Told him my background with them and where I work and everything I did prior. I figured they'd ask me most of this anyway since I was put down as a reference for my buddy. The guy asked me if my buddy told me about the reference or asked and I told him I was surprised by it when you told me this morning. I was unaware and usually when he says he interviewed for a job I thought nothing of it. I don't know many people outside of Karl N who is their DM in the Philly Stores and most of my crew I worked with are not involved with the company so not sure why he put me down. Plus we never worked together.  I told him I've known my friend for over 15yrs. He's a friendly guy but is very thick headed at times but he's not gonna be controversial in a work environment. They asked me why he had so many different jobs already since graduating college a decade ago. I told them 3 to 4 of those were out of his control. 2 of the companies went out of business, the mattress place he worked at was bought out by another business who cut cost and let him and about 20-25 other people in the area go at the same time. I said It was pretty sh**y because they let them all go right before Christmas couldn't even wait till the new year to do it. A 4th was the company falsely advertised what they were hiring for and when he trained with them he found out it was not the job he had applied for. When he asked about the reasoning and what happening he got the run around so he quit. 

They asked me about the promotions and demotions he had as a manager at his last job Verizon GoWireless and if I had any idea what happened. I told him he got management positions because he's a reliable worker. Shows up like 15-30 mins early if he can to work each day, always there, takes extra hrs when needed and kinda knew what he was doing. Plus the company doesn't have a lot of long term employees. Longest guy he found was an older guy in his 40s who have been there for 7yrs. When management positions opened up he was one of the very few to apply who had at least experience and qualification for the jobs. He ran a bad store out in Warmister PA and picked it up a bit but was eventually transferred out of the store. I said I suspected some shady business behind the scenes against my buddy in terms of just using him as a get out of jail card as a lot of the stores he managed despite what he did always ended up not staying open longer then he was there. He'd end up back at his store in Springfield PA. He managed a store at Plymouth Meeting right near the mall and one of his employees was involved being at the store when two guys ended up robbing the place. I was very fair when I told them I basically was the one when he told me he wasn't sure what to do, I literally told him how to handle the whole situation. I was a little shocked I had to tell him what to do and thought he was trained for this sort of thing but he apparently never was. After that situation he took charge of other stores with similar outcomes closing or putting in a new manager or demoting him with his low sales despite him having higher sales than previous Store Managers but they weren't world beating highs. Last July during the pandemic they were gonna close the store he was at. They offered him a demotion back to his store in Springfield or a Buyout which he took. I told them he had two co workers he became friendly with and I think that effected his management when both were at the same store. The one guy married with a wife in nursing but he pays child support for 2 other kids outside the 2 he has with his wife and always had money issues so my buddy was way too nice didn't want to discipline him. He also found out that his buddy's wife tested positive for COVID and his buddy admitted to still going to work (Both work in the same company) and should've reported him but didn't. I thought it was important for them to know that. I also told the guy like myself he had some learning issues in school but doesn't want to admit to them or use them as an excuse. GS I know does a lot to help people who need assistance but if you can still be in a store by yourself and run it well they are ok giving you any extra help you may need. I told I might suggest that maybe he start off as a Assistant manager as he's never worked for such a large company before. I don't think anyone properly ever trained him in a manager role to do be successful either and a lot of the stuff he tells me he was taught I would never suggest if I was training people (Gave them a few examples and they were shocked this is how he was trained). I said I think he can be successful but he needs the right training and all. 

He thanked me for my time and as I left my old manager Karl came in (he lives in the area and apparently sometimes stops by after he's done). When he saw me we chatted and he talked to the SD at the GS about me and we told him about my buddy. Karl gave me some really nice props to the guy and told them how he helped me out of a bad situation at my other job and how working for him helped keep my sanity at the time and be around like minded people. The manager there said I was pretty detailed on a lot of stuff and after what Karl had told him he would definitely tell the DM who does the hiring in the area he would take my advice on my buddy and see what I can do. I also suggest that if we do both end up working at GS not to have us at the same store. I wasn't comfortable with it in regards to professionalism plus this GS is just too convient do to my other job. I can either be there right after I'm done my job or spend 45 mins prior to going in running home and everything as well. I told them I don't drive and my friend does and he has worked in the Springfield area before so he'd be better off at one of those stores. I left shortly after all of this. 

I want to say the actual meeting I had last 20-30 mins and turned more into an interview for me as much as it was the reference about my buddy. I thought I was fair given that I probably did give him a few excuses I shouldn't have but also giving his strengths and weaknesses and at the end making some suggestions to possible make it a successful hire. And honestly I think thats all you can ask for  

DJackson10 said:

Like I updated today they called me this morning. I told them if I could talk to them later as I was coming up later. They said he put me down and I'm about to go up in 45 mins to talk to he manager who did interview him. They said it was fine as long as I could get there before 6 when he leaves.

I'm gonna be honest with them. When I made the post I had kind of figured thats why he called me and didn't tell me but didn't find out for certain till today. Only reason I thought of it was because yrs ago he tried using me as a reference to get something at my store.

When they asked me about it I told them I had no clue he did. He's a friend of mine but also I know his personality and work ethic and given the demands here for the job I don't think he's qualified for it. I gave them an honest answer. Sure I was mad he referenced me without asking but I'm gonna be honest too.

My other issue is I know he only wants the job as an easier way to get a PS5. look as I said in my post I have an intention to do so but at the same time I also liked having to work there.

Got to be around a lot of like minded people who game and I loved being able to talk about an interest of mine. Really liked helping parents or grandparents find a game for their kid or grandchild and them coming back and saying how great of a suggestion it was.

You get to meet some very cool customers who are there often as well. I just really liked helping people finding enjoyment in something I enjoy to. What was really good was most of the guys I worked with were mostly Xbox guys besides my ASD and I.

So all of us had different opinions but it always helped customers. Our group was very diverse too. We had one guy who was Middle Eastern, another who was Hspanic, My Boss who's from NYC originally, me and my buddy locally and I knew his sister and one guy African American dude.

We all got a long great. It was fun and during the Midnight releases it was a blast. We'd order food or get a whole barbecue going (Almost a tailgate party) and we probably wouldn't get out until 2AM. I use to not work Thursdays so I'd go in around Noon work till 6, leave to go home for dinner and be back by 7:45-8.  Work till like 2AM or so. 

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Just wanted to see what this looked like with the Enter key utilized.

-fish- said:

Isn't this exactly what a reference is for?

Sounds totally reasonable.

Management material.

Smart move.  It's just GameStop.  

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The Manager at GS and everyone I told so far he did it said he should've asked first before putting me on. I know when applying to other positions I've gotten in contact with others to ask if I could use them. Some people don't like being used as a reference for their own reasons. Plus it was a little strange he used me considering we never worked together and the last time I worked there was over 5 yrs ago. A lot has changed including a lot of people new there who wouldn't know me. Literally everyone at my local GS I use to work with is gone, my buddy was promoted to Store Manager shortly after I left and my manager told him he was better off going to another GS to be a manager for his benefit as thats what his store director did with him when he first got promoted. He left 3 yrs ago. Another guy who was with us got married and moved to FL. The other guy ended up going else where. The one guy who works there now occasional for a few extra hrs I never worked with just know him from going in to purchase stuff or seeing him on my way home in there. 

He actually knew the responsibilities prior to accepting the job. I told him given vendors I know you got a large area to travel and might even have to fly to meet clients. So it's not like he just found this all out. he knew about it. 

If you mean he's has a big ego like a ton of Managers yeah he's managerial material. I know a lot of managers especially in my own company who think their sh** don't stink and are great but honestly no one has any idea how they ever became a manager since they are horrible at their job. 

Sure is just gamestop but I'm someone if I'm working somewhere also want to be happy with what I do. I also have long term outcome and possible advancement in my company. Most Manager life span at GS is only a few yrs unless they know people and can swindle their way into a DM role of some sort. Despite not really liking the guy much anymore I do want him to have a successful career and stop the nomadic like Job history he has. This GoWireless job he lasted the longest at for 4 yrs believe it or not. I've been with my current employer plus what I had before with the other company over 16 yrs at the same place which when I meet hire ups are very impressed with. 

STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:

If you’re gonna be all righteous with GameStop, why don’t you do the righteous thing and call this guy and tell him how you feel instead of letting him think you’re his friend?It’s pretty obvious you despise the guy, or at the least you don’t respect him. Certainly not enough for him to believe you’re his friend.

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I respect him to a certain point. I don't want to just end being friends with him totally. Like I said I don't mind going to an occasional ball game with him or something but the every week hangouts aren't happening again. 

I did text him since he's at his current job and does travel so he can't be near a phone. I told him when he has time to let me know because we need to have a serious discussion about something. I didn't tell him what it was about just told him we needed to talk. Gave him my availability and let me know when he can talk and told him I would like it done face to face. I just want to tell him I didn't appreciate the ambush I got with the reference. He should've told me before putting my name down with a company I haven't worked for in 5 yrs. I then have to be the ##### who looks surprised when contacted and will tell him others didn't like how he did it either. I will also tell him I'm cool with seeing an occasional movie or ballgame or if he wants play a game of Madden or something online vs one another but the day to day by week stuff is ending. I got other things in my life to do then hang out and entertain him when he's bored. I got other friends who for yrs I didn't hang with because I did with you and I'd like to hang out with them more as well after I felt like Ive neglected them. I'm sure considering his high ego and his "I'm never wrong attitude" that he's not gonna take kindly to this but I'm gonna flat out tell him a lot of the things I don't appreciate with him is why our other buddy left you cold turkey. Be grateful despite everything I still want to have some sort of friendship and the fact I at least wanted to tell you in person about it. 

Corporation said:

I was not aware you had Asperger's, my son has it as well.  One of the issues my son has (although he's been successful in school and working at Publix) is sometimes he doesn't realize how he is coming across, and issues that appear gray to a lot of people are very black and white for him.  I mistook the information you provided earlier and thought it was just someone being petty, as most of the replies here also indicate.  I hope you take the feedback you have received here and do not speak negatively about your friend, even though you don't likely consider it negative but just being truthful.  I have to explain the subtle nuances to my son where some things just aren't his business.  I think this is one of those situations for you.

Also, I hope you don't take the negative feedback given here (including my earlier comment of you lacking self-awareness) too personally. Given the information you have now provided about Asperger's, I know you have had to work harder to adopt social nuances that come more naturally to other people, so I wish you continued success on your journey.

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Really appreciate that. Yes thats sometimes my issue. One of the reasons I think I get away with saying stuff at my job to bosses is exactly because of this. I said something to my manager about 2 weeks ago about something that apparently upset a customer (As you can probably tell I didn't mean for it to come off that way). My manager then explained to me why the customer took it negatively. I told him I understood but I also wanted to tell him truthfully about the situation. Long story short I was on break, another co worker who is not a big fan of him busted his balls sugar coating something. They were calling me while on break and I didn't hear them as I had my headphones in. My Manager overreacted on the whole situation and was trying to tell him in a professional matter he overreacted over something a coworker was busting his balls on. I did understand what he told me though but he's hard to track down at times and for my thinking it was a hey perfect time to tell him this!!!!!! Which obviously was not.